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  #1  
Old 05-23-2013, 06:52 AM
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Default Do You Wake Sleeping Babies?

Morning!

I have a brand new 9 week old that started on Tuesday. He is amazing, cuddly, doesn't spit up, hardly cries, I love him already.

His parents report that he only "cat naps" at their house. Only 20-30 minutes at a time. The past two days he has been taking 2, 3 hour naps for me. I swaddle him, put him in a crib, and 3 hours later he wakes up. DCM asked me today to not let him sleep for more than 1 hour at a time, and then not past 3pm, so he will sleep at night. I am not super comfortable keeping a baby awake if they want to be asleep, so I'm not really sure how to deal with this.

In my experience with babies, sleep begets sleep.

Do you wake your sleeping infants? Or just let them lead the way? How would I explain this to DCM w/o making her upset?
Thanks!
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:58 AM
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I would tell her that at 9 weeks, his schedule should be relatively on demand and you will continue to let him sleep as long as he does naturally.

There is nothing wrong with a 3 hour nap for a baby that young, and actually IMHO a 1 hour nap is too short. If he was doing 1 hr naturally that would be different, but to wake after 1 hour is ridiculous.

Maybe print some information on baby sleep cycles, to hand out to her ?!?
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:00 AM
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I wouldn't be waking a 9 week old. And realistically is SHE going to keep him awake after 3pm too, until bedtime? No!




Don't judge me, but............sometimes (in a situation like this) I tell the parents what they want to hear.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:02 AM
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I would definitely not wake a baby that young. I don't believe in babies being on schedules before 6 months or so.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:08 AM
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Nope, would never wake a baby that young. Babies need their sleep! Are these first time parents?
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:13 AM
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No way! Let sleeping babies sleep! Especially when they're that young!

Feedings and sleep is on demand although I always try to incorporate regular sleep patterns. For example: If the baby naps all morning and is awake during afternoon nap, I would probably aim for a shorter morning nap and a longer afternoon nap.

First time mother or not, a baby that young should be sleeping at least 16 hours a day and if that means longer naps at daycare, oh well.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady View Post
I wouldn't be waking a 9 week old. And realistically is SHE going to keep him awake after 3pm too, until bedtime? No!




Don't judge me, but............sometimes (in a situation like this) I tell the parents what they want to hear.


Pretty much what I'm thinking might happen...
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca View Post
Nope, would never wake a baby that young. Babies need their sleep! Are these first time parents?

Yes. First time parents.
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blandino View Post
I would tell her that at 9 weeks, his schedule should be relatively on demand and you will continue to let him sleep as long as he does naturally.

There is nothing wrong with a 3 hour nap for a baby that young, and actually IMHO a 1 hour nap is too short. If he was doing 1 hr naturally that would be different, but to wake after 1 hour is ridiculous.

Maybe print some information on baby sleep cycles, to hand out to her ?!?
I was thinking about posting something on my blog, which is where they contacted me through, so I would guess they still look at it now and again. I also just let them borrow my happiest baby on the block DVD last night, so maybe that will help.

They seem like wonderful people, but I don't think they have done a ton of research at this point.
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MCC View Post
I was thinking about posting something on my blog, which is where they contacted me through, so I would guess they still look at it now and again. I also just let them borrow my happiest baby on the block DVD last night, so maybe that will help.

They seem like wonderful people, but I don't think they have done a ton of research at this point.
I have a "no wake" policy for infants. I had parents that wanted a 6 week old on a schedule. The became demanding over what time and for how long the child should nap/eat. They even told me to put her in the pnp at nap and let her scream, at 6 weeks!!! I gave them a handout I got from a training class about how much sleep a baby needs and how they really shouldn't be scheduled, but to no avail so I termed and added my no wake and "on demand, infant led eating/napping" to my contract!

It may just be that they think if you keep her up she'll sleep through the night.
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:16 AM
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DCM sounds selfish and stupid. Babies sleep because they need to, when they need to. I wouldn't wake a child intentionally who is under 24 months, period. I tell them flat out that my policy is to let childrens' bodies guide when they sleep while they are still babies.

Does she expect a 9 week old to sleep through the night? It's simply part of being a parent to get up at night. If DCM gives you trouble about it, let her know that at 9 weeks, it's about the BABIES needs, not hers. If she leaves you, so be it. Where I live, at least, you'd have that slot filled in 10 minutes.
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:21 AM
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absolutely not. I will, as they get older, start to shorten the morning nap so that they align with the afternoon nap of everyone else, but not at 9 weeks, no way.

Sleep does beget sleep. If baby is sleeping longer at a stretch, the same will happen at night. If you wake her after an hour, she'll probably wake MORE at night.

I have one now that is trying to tell me not to feed their bf'd baby as much because mom can't keep up with demand. Uh...no. Yes, I can "hold her off' for 10 minutes if I know you''re on your way, but I will not let her cry pitifully for an hour, nor will I give her less at a feeding if she's hungry.

She's 4 months old, btw, and drinks 6 oz at a feeding, usually 7:45am, 11:30am, and then she waits for mom at 3:45-4:15. Like I said, she will wait only if she's not too upset. Otherwise, mom will have to deal, sorry!
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:29 AM
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I wouldn't wake the baby either.
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Old 05-23-2013, 11:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
DCM sounds selfish and stupid. Babies sleep because they need to, when they need to. I wouldn't wake a child intentionally who is under 24 months, period. I tell them flat out that my policy is to let childrens' bodies guide when they sleep while they are still babies.

Does she expect a 9 week old to sleep through the night? It's simply part of being a parent to get up at night. If DCM gives you trouble about it, let her know that at 9 weeks, it's about the BABIES needs, not hers. If she leaves you, so be it. Where I live, at least, you'd have that slot filled in 10 minutes.
I think that yes, she expects him to sleep through the night. I asked her how nighttime was going and she said "okay, he is still getting up once or twice" um... My 2 1/2 year old is still gettin up once or twice!!

I'm not too worried about them leaving, they were on my
Wait list, and paid to hold the spot - but if they do leave, I have about 4 infants waiting for a spot
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Old 05-23-2013, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
absolutely not. I will, as they get older, start to shorten the morning nap so that they align with the afternoon nap of everyone else, but not at 9 weeks, no way.

Sleep does beget sleep. If baby is sleeping longer at a stretch, the same will happen at night. If you wake her after an hour, she'll probably wake MORE at night.

I have one now that is trying to tell me not to feed their bf'd baby as much because mom can't keep up with demand. Uh...no. Yes, I can "hold her off' for 10 minutes if I know you''re on your way, but I will not let her cry pitifully for an hour, nor will I give her less at a feeding if she's hungry.

She's 4 months old, btw, and drinks 6 oz at a feeding, usually 7:45am, 11:30am, and then she waits for mom at 3:45-4:15. Like I said, she will wait only if she's not too upset. Otherwise, mom will have to deal, sorry!
Ugh- they are trying to pull the "hold him off" thing with me too. He's only eating evey 3 hours (4oz) and they want me to not feed him after 3, so she can nurse him at 5:30 when she picks him up. I'm sorry- but if he eats at 12:30, he's going to want to eat at 3:30, and I will not starve him until 5:30!

Personally I think this little guy is a breeze and they are lucky he has made such a schedule for himself already. My dd ate like 1oz every 45 minutes for months!!
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Old 05-23-2013, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
absolutely not. I will, as they get older, start to shorten the morning nap so that they align with the afternoon nap of everyone else, but not at 9 weeks, no way.

Sleep does beget sleep. If baby is sleeping longer at a stretch, the same will happen at night. If you wake her after an hour, she'll probably wake MORE at night.

I have one now that is trying to tell me not to feed their bf'd baby as much because mom can't keep up with demand. Uh...no. Yes, I can "hold her off' for 10 minutes if I know you''re on your way, but I will not let her cry pitifully for an hour, nor will I give her less at a feeding if she's hungry.

She's 4 months old, btw, and drinks 6 oz at a feeding, usually 7:45am, 11:30am, and then she waits for mom at 3:45-4:15. Like I said, she will wait only if she's not too upset. Otherwise, mom will have to deal, sorry!
Sounds like Mom isn't pumping often enough. I normally wouldn't say this, but someone selfish enough to ask you not to feed their baby is probably not doing her part to make those feedings possible. Tell her to bring you formula to supplement if she doesn't want to provide breastmilk (or can't), and that you will not (and CAN not) let a baby go hungry.
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Old 05-23-2013, 01:00 PM
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Absolutely not. At 9 weeks he should be eating and sleeping on his own schedule.

I don't know why first time parents almost always seem to think that less daytime sleep will mean more nighttime sleep. So frustrating!
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Old 05-23-2013, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leigh View Post
Sounds like Mom isn't pumping often enough. I normally wouldn't say this, but someone selfish enough to ask you not to feed their baby is probably not doing her part to make those feedings possible. Tell her to bring you formula to supplement if she doesn't want to provide breastmilk (or can't), and that you will not (and CAN not) let a baby go hungry.
She's pumping 4-5 times a day at work, which is a big challenge, but only gets 1-2 oz at a time. She's very frustrated and I get that. Mom is a teacher and baby will be gone for the summer...so we are just trying to get her through the next week.

The whole thing would probably explode if I had her all summer, and if this is any indication as to how things will be in the future, I suspect we will be parting ways sooner or later. Too bad; they are really nice people, and baby is sweet, but they just don't understand some things...
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Old 05-23-2013, 03:33 PM
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I usually show parents a print out of this when they ask me to try to shorten their babies' daytime naps:
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