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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What To Do When Families Get A Little Too Comfortable?
wdmmom 10:00 AM 11-01-2011
I've been working for this family for 9 months and it seems like problems have been the norm.
Now it's DCD that's on my nerves.
I've had issue after issue with him. It started with arriving late, picking up late, not paying late fees, not getting my DCB's physical, bringing in food and drink, etc.
Now that we're past all that, it's gotten a bit more uncomfortable for me! Now he wants to know why the door is always locked, he snoops around my house, the garage, etc, he's asked me to take DCB to the car for him because his leg hurt, he asks if other kids are here (ones that haven't been coming for 2 months!), if he doesn't see my assistant, he asks where she is, where her car is (she doesn't even drive!), etc. He is super nosy and I'm a pretty private person. This clown doesn't need to know who is here and who isn't, whether my assistant is here or not, etc.
I'm really at wits end here!
I'm seriously considering issuing a termination in the next couple weeks and just telling them that I am not providing part time care anymore. (Which I am trying to get out of).
Any suggestions?!
Now it's DCD that's on my nerves.
I've had issue after issue with him. It started with arriving late, picking up late, not paying late fees, not getting my DCB's physical, bringing in food and drink, etc.
Now that we're past all that, it's gotten a bit more uncomfortable for me! Now he wants to know why the door is always locked, he snoops around my house, the garage, etc, he's asked me to take DCB to the car for him because his leg hurt, he asks if other kids are here (ones that haven't been coming for 2 months!), if he doesn't see my assistant, he asks where she is, where her car is (she doesn't even drive!), etc. He is super nosy and I'm a pretty private person. This clown doesn't need to know who is here and who isn't, whether my assistant is here or not, etc.
I'm really at wits end here!
I'm seriously considering issuing a termination in the next couple weeks and just telling them that I am not providing part time care anymore. (Which I am trying to get out of).
Any suggestions?!
laundrymom 10:05 AM 11-01-2011
I'd tell him
I'm sorry Rick, but I dont give out personal information.
No Rick, I'm not taking her to the car, have a great afternoon.
The doors are locked for safety Rick.
I'm sorry Rick, but I dont give out personal information.
No Rick, I'm not taking her to the car, have a great afternoon.
The doors are locked for safety Rick.
Pammie 10:06 AM 11-01-2011
When I get questions like those, my response is always, "Why do you want to know?" with the sweetest smile and tone I can muster.
It gives the dcp the opportunity to tell me what's *really* behind their curiosity - so we can address the real issue. Or if it's just being nosy on their part, they learn that "Why do you want to know?" is coming next, so they're not going to get any more info.
That always seems to stop the nosy questions around here
It gives the dcp the opportunity to tell me what's *really* behind their curiosity - so we can address the real issue. Or if it's just being nosy on their part, they learn that "Why do you want to know?" is coming next, so they're not going to get any more info.
That always seems to stop the nosy questions around here
morgan24 10:07 AM 11-01-2011
That would make me uncomfortable also. I would start giving him the lifted eyebrow and really, until he was uncomfortable and quit asking me questions.
harperluu 10:15 AM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I'd tell him
I'm sorry Rick, but I dont give out personal information.
No Rick, I'm not taking her to the car, have a great afternoon.
The doors are locked for safety Rick.
This made me laugh! Some parents are so nosey. The worst for me is when they ask to use my bathroom. I find it really odd that they aren't able to manage their time enough to not need a potty break at my house. It's just really weird to me.I'd tell him
I'm sorry Rick, but I dont give out personal information.
No Rick, I'm not taking her to the car, have a great afternoon.
The doors are locked for safety Rick.
MarinaVanessa 10:15 AM 11-01-2011
Any time that he asks questions that you don't like why not answer him with another question? If his questions make you feel uncomfortable, flip the table on him and return the favor.
DCD: "Why is the door always locked?"
YOU: "Why do you want to know why the door is always locked?"
DCD: "Are [other kids] here?"
YOU: "Do you see [other kids] here?"
DCD: "Where is your assistant?"
YOU: "Do you need my assistant?"
DCD: "No, just wondering"
YOU: "Oh, ok." Then make yourself busy and ignore his original question completely.
DCD: "Where is your assistant's car?"
YOU: "Why do you need to know where her car is?"
Works like a charm. Just keep an uber smile on your face and a sickenly sweet tone of voice.
DCD: "Why is the door always locked?"
YOU: "Why do you want to know why the door is always locked?"
DCD: "Are [other kids] here?"
YOU: "Do you see [other kids] here?"
DCD: "Where is your assistant?"
YOU: "Do you need my assistant?"
DCD: "No, just wondering"
YOU: "Oh, ok." Then make yourself busy and ignore his original question completely.
DCD: "Where is your assistant's car?"
YOU: "Why do you need to know where her car is?"
Works like a charm. Just keep an uber smile on your face and a sickenly sweet tone of voice.
wdmmom 10:21 AM 11-01-2011
He knows all the answers and we've gone over this time and time again.
The door is locked because. A.) I don't want parents walking in my house and B.) I don't want kids walking out!
I told him before, you pay me. My assistant's attendance is irrelevant!
He says, "Oh, I didn't see her car.". I said, "Calvin, you've never seen her car because she doesn't have one and she doesn't drive! You know this!"
He asks every afternoon, "Eat? Sleep? Poop?" Now those are relevant questions.
From now on, I'm just going to ignore him or start answering his questions with a question!
The door is locked because. A.) I don't want parents walking in my house and B.) I don't want kids walking out!
I told him before, you pay me. My assistant's attendance is irrelevant!
He says, "Oh, I didn't see her car.". I said, "Calvin, you've never seen her car because she doesn't have one and she doesn't drive! You know this!"
He asks every afternoon, "Eat? Sleep? Poop?" Now those are relevant questions.
From now on, I'm just going to ignore him or start answering his questions with a question!
MarinaVanessa 10:36 AM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
From now on, I'm just going to ignore him or start answering his questions with a question!
You could even go beyond that if he still doesn't get it. Why not ask him a question before he even gets to ask you a question? Ask him 5 questions a day as soon as he walks in and make them random questions that are semi-personal.From now on, I'm just going to ignore him or start answering his questions with a question!
YOU: "Hi Bob, where did you go today?"
DCD: "I went to work"
YOU: "Oh that's nice. Hey, is your car paid off?"
DCD: "Um..., no. Why?"
YOU: "Just wondering. How many payments do you have left?"
DCD: "I'm not sure ..."
YOU: "Hey Bob, do you have a middle name?"
DCD: "No, just Bob."
YOU: "Oh that's nice. Do you drink Bob?"
etc,etc, etc
Again, just keep a smile on your face and if he asks you why you want to know just say "I was just wondering/curious" and immediately move on to the next random question.
Cat Herder 12:57 PM 11-01-2011
I would be wondering if he was trying to figure out whether or not I am within ratio. I tend to read into parents behaviors...sometimes I give them far too much credit, I admit. 
Has he ever just come out and asked you about your ratios?
Has he ever just come out and asked you about your ratios?
caligirl 01:04 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
You could even go beyond that if he still doesn't get it. Why not ask him a question before he even gets to ask you a question? Ask him 5 questions a day as soon as he walks in and make them random questions that are semi-personal.
YOU: "Hi Bob, where did you go today?"
DCD: "I went to work"
YOU: "Oh that's nice. Hey, is your car paid off?"
DCD: "Um..., no. Why?"
YOU: "Just wondering. How many payments do you have left?"
DCD: "I'm not sure ..."
YOU: "Hey Bob, do you have a middle name?"
DCD: "No, just Bob."
YOU: "Oh that's nice. Do you drink Bob?"
etc,etc, etc
Again, just keep a smile on your face and if he asks you why you want to know just say "I was just wondering/curious" and immediately move on to the next random question.
THIS one made me crack up!!! LOVE IT! I could do this. Seriously. This would be my comeback!!You could even go beyond that if he still doesn't get it. Why not ask him a question before he even gets to ask you a question? Ask him 5 questions a day as soon as he walks in and make them random questions that are semi-personal.
YOU: "Hi Bob, where did you go today?"
DCD: "I went to work"
YOU: "Oh that's nice. Hey, is your car paid off?"
DCD: "Um..., no. Why?"
YOU: "Just wondering. How many payments do you have left?"
DCD: "I'm not sure ..."
YOU: "Hey Bob, do you have a middle name?"
DCD: "No, just Bob."
YOU: "Oh that's nice. Do you drink Bob?"
etc,etc, etc
Again, just keep a smile on your face and if he asks you why you want to know just say "I was just wondering/curious" and immediately move on to the next random question.
daycare 01:20 PM 11-01-2011
just this morning a parent asked me a question: why is so and so crying in the morning saying he doesn't want to come here anymore?
HMMM let me think go to work and play with mommy with little to no rules or come to DC?
the child has way to many options if you ask me.. He goes to grannies a lot too.
So this morning I said, you know, you always have these questions for me and I just don't know how to answer them, because I am not sure what you are really asking... Wish I had a good answer for ya....Then smiled and walked away
HMMM let me think go to work and play with mommy with little to no rules or come to DC?
the child has way to many options if you ask me.. He goes to grannies a lot too.
So this morning I said, you know, you always have these questions for me and I just don't know how to answer them, because I am not sure what you are really asking... Wish I had a good answer for ya....Then smiled and walked away
Blackcat31 01:26 PM 11-01-2011
I must have a mild form of Asperger's because I think there are times I have zero social tact.
If I had a parent asking so many questions, I would out right ask him "Bob, why are you so stinking nosey?"
My DH hates this about me, but I swear it comes in handy at times.
If I had a parent asking so many questions, I would out right ask him "Bob, why are you so stinking nosey?"
My DH hates this about me, but I swear it comes in handy at times.
familyschoolcare 01:38 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I must have a mild form of Asperger's because I think there are times I have zero social tact.
If I had a parent asking so many questions, I would out right ask him "Bob, why are you so stinking nosey?"
My DH hates this about me, but I swear it comes in handy at times.
If you had Asperger's you most liekly would not know that those kinds of questions where rude. I must have a mild form of Asperger's because I think there are times I have zero social tact.
If I had a parent asking so many questions, I would out right ask him "Bob, why are you so stinking nosey?"
My DH hates this about me, but I swear it comes in handy at times.
Hey maybe that is what is going on with the dad.
caligirl 01:51 PM 11-01-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I must have a mild form of Asperger's because I think there are times I have zero social tact.
If I had a parent asking so many questions, I would out right ask him "Bob, why are you so stinking nosey?"
My DH hates this about me, but I swear it comes in handy at times.
haha......love it! Catch me in the right mood and I'm the same way!I must have a mild form of Asperger's because I think there are times I have zero social tact.
If I had a parent asking so many questions, I would out right ask him "Bob, why are you so stinking nosey?"
My DH hates this about me, but I swear it comes in handy at times.
Unregistered 04:44 PM 11-01-2011
Oh my God! The dcd that I termed in January has come to your daycare!! That kind of behviour is exactly why I got rid of him...the kid was OK, the mom was ok but I couldn't stand "Rick" one more second...LOL!
Oneluckymom 09:37 PM 11-01-2011
With all joking aside...there really could be an underlying mental condition here if the dc parent asks the same thing all the time. So far I am lucky to have a great family with me....whew!