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  #1  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:10 PM
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Default Not Sure What To Do (Sorry!! Very Long)

I'm a registered user... just not sure if dcp reads this forum or not...

I took on a family in Jan.. that seemed like a good fit.. it took the child a couple weeks to adjust but the child is really GREAT... it's the dcps. I'm having a hard time dealing with some issues with them. They are divorced and the custody agreement is mom gets this child one week and dad gets next.

So, it started on dcm week, the 3rd week together (of course after our trail period is over) that Monday our schools didn't have classes so dcm informed me that she was taking her other children shopping and was still bringing the child (no biggie) but she was late picking her up because was out shopping and needed to stop at one more place. Then dcm walks in and informs me that she has an appointment on her next week that she has the child and that she will won't be picking up until 5:45 - 6pm... I informed her that I close at 5:30 that day every week due to my own children's activities...she informed me that "I need to work with her and that she will have the time changed from now on".. I didn't really say anything as I was a little taken back that dcm didn't really care... (she's also asked about getting dcd time schedule of pick-up and drop-off times on his weeks)

The next week dcd is sick one day and doesn't give any notification (which I understand) if the child is coming the next day or not so I called him later in the evening and ask if he's bring the child the next morning.. he told me he would call back-up provider and see and call me back. No phone call back, no text (as I tried to to text twice).. I get up at 6 and wait.. didn't receive notification until 7 am (an hr after drop off time) that they were not going to be at my house at 6 am and he still didn't know if this child was coming that day... I didn't receive another text until 9:30 am that was informing me she wasn't coming.

On dcm week..dcm walks in and asks about the week before and why the child was not in care... I guess the back-up provider lied and stated that "I told this person the child couldn't come"... yeah, I never stated that! The appointment never happens as we got a lot of snow that day..but she bought it back up about me giving her extended time the Friday before.

Dcd week - my own child gets sick.. I stay open 2 out of the 3 days my child is sick and my back-up person offered to keep my own child in my room away from kids..but dcd decides not to bring the child all 3 days .... one of which he tells me he "doesn't know about tomorrow" he'll have to let me know later... I tried calling at 8 - 9 pm and texting and no answer.. so after a LONG night with my own son I get up at 6 and wait AGAIN... this time I get a phone call at 7 am (an hour after drop off time) he does say he was sorry (as he woke up late) but the child was not coming...(oh and I receive a phone call from dcm wanting to know about why this child is not in my care.. and she was upset)

Dcm week- the parent brings child with a nasty cough (really bad!).. I allow the child to come (BIG MISTAKE!) that day as dcm tells me that she is taking her to doc later (I found out from dck that dcm gave this child medicine for the cough).. I had to notify mom that the cough had gotten really bad by phone in the afternoon.. well dcm was more concerned about the next day and that the child had missed so many days already and that they are paying for these days (also, daycare child lets me know that dcm is home with another persons sick child! as Mom Does Not Work).. well I receive a phone call later that night that the child will not be coming the next day.. so when child returns a couple days later at nap she throws up, I send home and she doesn't return. (Mom fought me on my illness policy - that states the child can come with a slight cough... and that she has to pay for days her child is not in care. Plus when child threw up she fought me stating that it probably was from cough.. or it's mucus coming up)

Our current week - the child has not been here at all this week... Mon and Tue - school was closed so dcd took the child to someone else, Wed - now my own child is sick, again... I closed yesterday but offered dcd to stay open and my back provider was going to keep my own child separate (which dcd seemed upset on the phone when I notified him and decided not to bring the child) and today I was open and my back-up provider was going to take care of my child in another room away from daycare kids (and dcd seemed still upset, and I apologized many times and didn't bring the child)

I'm not sure what to do.. this month alone this dck has been gone 10 out of 20 days. (2 of the ten I was closed.. so really 8 days) I know when I see dcm she's going to be upset about this week. All of the days other than 2 (when the child was sick) was a choice of either parent. I'm really ready to term... dcm wants to fight over everything in my contract/policy. Dcd is upset about my own child being sick. I try to provide services when my own children are sick but sometimes it just doesn't seem to work out. ( I really can't control my own child getting sick). I also gave this family a break for rates (as they where my first to interview) and now I have 4 other families.

I'm stressed over the many things a week, which I know my own child has to do with some of them. This isn't all of the issues... it's not payment both of the parents are really good about paying when asked and the dad is known for paying early. I don't feel like this is going to work full term for them and me. Please help.. can I term or no? I really can't afford to lose the money (even if it's $25 lower per week than anyone around... which is MY fault!) If I were to do a rate increase the only one it would hurt is dcd.

Like, I said.. it's not the child... Please Help!! Sorry once again for it being SOO Long!
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  #2  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:18 PM
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honestly? I'd have term papers in my hand in the morning.
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  #3  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:23 PM
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let me ask you this question... is the drama and headach worth the amount of money they pay you?

Sounds like these people have no respect for you, your policies, or any of the other kids in your care.

I would term them..

All I can say is been there done that and I waited forever to term, becuase I felt bad for the kid.... Not the kids fault that they have parents who don't care. As soon as I let them go, I felt my whole life turn for the better.... Not only did I feel better, but my whole family did as they had to hear about all the drama or see me stress out about it.
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  #4  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:24 PM
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My honest opinion - you give them WAY too much info about your kids. And allow way too much discussion over YOUR policies. And you communicate with them far too often.

Tell dcm that care is already discounted and you do not credit for days missed. Stop telling them about your kids illnesses! Just get the care your child needs and remain open. If they don't like it, they can leave.
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  #5  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:31 PM
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Too much drama for me!

If they are current with payments and prepaid for the next two weeks I would term today....with two more weeks of care.

Make sure if you plan to term to have cashed their check at THEIR BANK BEFORE you term!

Sounds like their life is pretty wacky.
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  #6  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:32 PM
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This family is too much of a headache.

If a family EVER 'told' me I was working past my closing time they would get an immediate termination. I mean that. The same thing with arguing over my policies. I have them for a reason and parents can either follow them or find care somewhere else.

Also think about it like this, if the family is having this many problems early on it will only get worse. They don't respect you, your policies or your time. And they won't start.

If you don't terminate, you will be setting yourself up for so many problems.This is just the beginning, when they are supposed to be on their BEST behaviour...what happens when you have to deal with their worst behaviour? I don't think it will end well at all, even if you try to stick it out. But really what is the point of that?

It sounds like you are really unhappy with this situation (and who wouldn't be) so why even try to stick it out?
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Old 02-24-2011, 12:33 PM
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Also, when DCM calls and asks why DCK wasn't in care last week, DON'T TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. Tell her that she needs to take it up with DCD.
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  #8  
Old 02-24-2011, 12:56 PM
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How do I term? I've never had to term.. I'm really sick to my tummy about terming and living the next 2 weeks waiting for the crazyness is over. Do I give a letter? Do I have to explain why?

Here is what it states in my contract...

Termination
After the 2 week trial period is over a 4-week written notice is required by the parent to myself if you are choosing to remove your child(ren) from my care. Fees will still be due if the parent withdraws before notice is given, or at any given time during the notice. 4 weeks fees may be paid in lieu of the 4 weeks notice.

I will provide the parents with a 2 week written notice if I am no longer able to care for your child(ren). You are still responsible for paying the 2 week fee during this notice regardless, whether your child(ren) attends or not.

I can terminate our child care arrangements immediately for any reasons (but not solely limited to):
• Failure to comply with the policies and contract.
• Destructive or hurtful behavior of child that persists even with parent’s cooperation in stopping the behavior.
• Non-payment of childcare fees or late and/or recurring late payment of fees.
• Failure to complete required forms.
• Inability to meet the child’s needs without additional staff.
• Blatant disrespect towards provider or provider’s family.
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Old 02-24-2011, 01:44 PM
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I have had to do it twice. I did not give reason. I just gave them notice that it was not working out... did not day why.. the less you say the better..

Both times I killed them with kindness and they were crying at the end that they didnt want to have to leave. so they both ended on a good note..

Also, i would practice developing a back bone. Don't let anyone walk all over you like this.. This is your company, you are the owner and operator and they don't own you just because they pay you. I know I had a hard time in the beginning feeling like I had to kiss everyones butt, bend over backwards and etc...... now its the other way around....lmao ok I don't expect anyone to do either, but I do expect that the famiies I choose to have equal respect....
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Old 02-24-2011, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
How do I term? I've never had to term.. I'm really sick to my tummy about terming and living the next 2 weeks waiting for the crazyness is over. Do I give a letter? Do I have to explain why?

Here is what it states in my contract...

Termination
After the 2 week trial period is over a 4-week written notice is required by the parent to myself if you are choosing to remove your child(ren) from my care. Fees will still be due if the parent withdraws before notice is given, or at any given time during the notice. 4 weeks fees may be paid in lieu of the 4 weeks notice.

I will provide the parents with a 2 week written notice if I am no longer able to care for your child(ren). You are still responsible for paying the 2 week fee during this notice regardless, whether your child(ren) attends or not.

I can terminate our child care arrangements immediately for any reasons (but not solely limited to):
• Failure to comply with the policies and contract.
• Destructive or hurtful behavior of child that persists even with parent’s cooperation in stopping the behavior.
• Non-payment of childcare fees or late and/or recurring late payment of fees.
• Failure to complete required forms.
• Inability to meet the child’s needs without additional staff.
• Blatant disrespect towards provider or provider’s family.
Send a letter with your two week saying'

"Dear DCP

Due to repeated violations of my daycare handbook/contract I am giving two weeks notice to terminate care.

The last date available for care is XX

Thank you,

XX'

Short sweet and to the point. If they ask why state you illness policy as well as late pick ups.

Don't stress, the first termination is hard, but it gets easier once you feel that weight lift off your shoulders. And honestly, life is too short to worry about them. They are just a temporary blip in your career.

Oh, make sure that they have paid in full and make sure they know that if they are late during the next two weeks termination is effective immediately.
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Old 02-24-2011, 04:11 PM
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This is so important:
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowball View Post
make sure that they have paid in full and make sure they know that if they are late during the next two weeks termination is effective immediately.

The first term is the hardest for sure.
Wish them luck. Tell they they aren't a good fit. Wish them luck again...try to let it go.
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  #12  
Old 02-24-2011, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Live and Learn View Post
This is so important:



The first term is the hardest for sure.
Wish them luck. Tell they they aren't a good fit. Wish them luck again...try to let it go.

They pay right now weekly. So, how do I make them pay in full for 2 weeks? Dcd pays for 2 weeks at a time right now but won't make a payment until next Friday for the next 2 weeks. I really wanted to term on Monday and dcm pays weekly as that is what she can afford.
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Old 02-24-2011, 06:38 PM
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I would wait until Monday to term. Be sure to get your check in the morning. Then go cash her check at HER bank during the day on Monday if you can get a sub for an hour. Then term at pick up.

Give her the option of finishing up the week or paying for the following week too. If she wants to come the second week she needs to pay right away.

Do not accept them coming on that 2nd week unless you have cash in hand or you will be sorry.
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