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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Ever Have Any Regrets Being a Provider?
My4SunshineGirlsNY 12:47 PM 03-22-2010
I have provided child care on and off for 10 years, started after my 2nd daughter was born, but just recently got registered this past Sept. I love being here for my children (youngest is 4) but sometimes I get regrets of chosing to do home child care.

Do you ever sometimes wish you had an 8-9 hour shift and be done with your day and come home to JUST your own kids? I start at 5:30a.m. and last pick up is at 5p.m. but sometimes my sister in law runs late and it's more toward 5:30pm...so that's 12 hours a day.

I guess I get these feelings sometimes because my own kids feel their space is invaded, we can never go on any trips because my van will not accomodate my family plus the daycare kids, now because I am registered they cannot use their own swimming pool this summer that we just put in 2 summers ago. And I have to work such a long day just to make a paycheck.

Don't get me wrong, there are pro's to doing childcare...but at times I get in a slump where I wish I wasn't bogged down with several other children that are not mine. Thinking of the summer a lot right now and how I won't be able to take my children here or there because I have daycare kids until 5-5:30.

Am I alone on this one??
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gbcc 01:11 PM 03-22-2010
No everyday lately I have been questioning my decision. Mostly because I now have to deal with an employee situation. I can't wait for my son to be old enough so I can go back to work.

I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity, but I also feel equally damned.
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safechner 02:16 PM 03-22-2010
You are not only one. I feel the same way when I wish I could have work 8-9 hours shift a day from last year. Last year, I watched the boys 12 1/2 hours a day from 6:00am to 6:30pm. My hours were 6:00am to 6:30pm but I decided I no longer doing until 6:30pm because it is my family time. I closed at 6pm. The boys left my daycare due to moving to different city about 45 mins from here to live with their mother who just got married different guy and had a baby last September. I was so happy I no longer watched 12 1/2 hours for them for THREE years. Now I only watched the two girls from 9am to 5pm and another girl from 9am to 6pm.

I have decided that I will be closed my daycare for good in summer 2011 so I am going back to school to get my accountant degree about 3 or 4 more years left and work part time job so I can be there for my girls. Once they become teenager then I will be working a full time job. I think I might will go to school this fall for part time. My husband and I have been fighting with my daughter's school for almost four years for inappropriate placement and we just went to due process hearing a couple weeks ago. My oldest daughter is profoundly deaf and PDD on Autism Spectrum. That is why I stopped go back to school since spring of 2006. I hope everything will be smooth soon when I find out to hear from hearing's final decision on April 12th. Right now I home-school with her since of August 2009.
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jen 03:08 PM 03-22-2010
No, you aren't alone. I think we all feel that way from time to time. Being home is terrific and I wouldn't trade it for all the world, but sometimes the sacrafice has been a bit much.
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momma2girls 03:46 PM 03-22-2010
I do think that all of us feel like this alot!! Especially when we have to deal with bad children, colicy babies, terrible parents, ignorant parents(LOL!!) there is just way too much to mention on here!!!!!!
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missnikki 04:25 PM 03-22-2010
On one hand, it is such a responsibility to take on other peoples children, when half the time the parents don't appreciate what efforts we go through to provide a healthy, safe environment...
On the other hand, we can all name a moment that was so gratifying, it felt like it was scripted by God to remind us why we do it...
It's like poker- you can't remember all the times you won, but you can remember every time you lost. Try to remember those gems, and be grateful you don't sit at a desk pushing a pencil all day.
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momma2girls 05:15 PM 03-22-2010
Originally Posted by missnikki:
On one hand, it is such a responsibility to take on other peoples children, when half the time the parents don't appreciate what efforts we go through to provide a healthy, safe environment...
On the other hand, we can all name a moment that was so gratifying, it felt like it was scripted by God to remind us why we do it...
It's like poker- you can't remember all the times you won, but you can remember every time you lost. Try to remember those gems, and be grateful you don't sit at a desk pushing a pencil all day.
I totally agree!!! It's so great staying at home with your own children, but there are many times, where you think, is all of this really worth it?????
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newtoeverything 06:06 PM 03-22-2010
I started this January (have a 10 month old son) and I have dealt with this - and still have the thoughts every now and again. I want to be home with my son and KNOW he is getting taken care of and that pushes me every day. Also, other parents feel the same way and I feel great that I am providing that care...to know that they don't have anything to worry about. I am so grateful to find this site and know that there are others feeling the same way. I am so happy I can vent and people actually understand!
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gbcc 06:27 PM 03-22-2010
I vent to other people and they have NO clue what I'm complaining about. I swear, even friends think I sit home and watch soaps all day! The crafts on my walls just magically appear? I'm addicted to this website! My4SunshineGirlsNY actually told me about it and I am so glad she did!
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Francine 07:29 PM 03-22-2010
I started my daycare when my youngest was 8 months old, thinking when she went off to kindergarten I would be done...that was 1995. I closed in 2008 and am now in the process of getting relicensed. Towards the end I was really burnt out, I needed a break and I needed to get out of the house. Now that I have been closed for two years, I can't wait to get started again. It was one of those " the grass is always greener" moments.

I have been working the 8-5 job in an office which I thought I would really like, I hate it. I hate the stress, I hate having to deal with all of the politics, I hate that my house is a mess all the time because I'm gone so much. I make less than half of what I did while I was doing daycare so I have been cleaning on the side which takes me away from the house even more.

Unfortunately when I closed I really didn't think I would start again so I had a huge garage sale and sold everything. I made the decision to reopen in November and have been restocking ever since. I plan to open June 1st and can't wait. I know there will be issues, issues that I will remember the first day that I open that I have glossed over because I hate my job but I'm really excited.

Before you make the big decision to close, really think about it and don't sell everything to quickly : )
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melskids 05:21 AM 03-23-2010
i did daycare for 5 years so i could be home with my second son. we moved 2 years ago, and i thought i was done with daycare, so i too, sold or donated everything. i tried to get a job, but i HATED it. so here i am, newly relicensed (in july) and loving it.

there are times it stinks, and i know its hard on my kids. my 14 yr old doesnt particularly like it. but i still thinkg the benefits outweigh the negatives.

my kids cant swim during the day either, and we are limited on field trips due to room in the car. so i try to make it a point to be there and do fun stuff with just my kids whenever i can. we go to the town pool at night for family evening swim, we take our "field trips" on the weekends. i try to make my kids needs a priority even when the DC kids are here, (balancing with their needs of course). i tend to rely on my older son to help out alot in the summer, but i pay him just like i would an employee so he doesnt become resentful. i let my younger son be speacial helper more oftne than anyone else. (the other kids havent caught on yet...lol) it is a juggling act all the time, but i still feel its important for me to be here for my kids. if not, they'd be in a daycare somewhere, (the younger one, my older one could be left home alone)and i know they both dont want that in the end.
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originalkat 07:24 AM 03-23-2010
I have had those days as well. I sometimes find myself wondering how anyone can LIKE this job. LOL! When I get like this I like to remember why I love my job and look for others (usually online) who love what they do as well!
Sometimes I watch the "Provider of the Week" video clips on A Place of our Own
Sometimes I read blogs of other providers who are dedicated and motivated!! I love Annie's Alphabet blog and Kozy Kids family childcare blog.

Things I LOVE about being a childcare provider:

I get to have plenty of natural light and a pretty view (no office cubicle view)
No Commute
No dress code
I can fold laundry and do dishes during the day
I have time to plant a garden (and the children learn from the experience)
I dont have a BOSS
I can spend all day outside on a beautiful day!
We can play and have fun all day.
I am here for my own kids.
I make my own rules and policies and dont have to follow someone elses.
We get to have fun learning all day.
I get to spend time with kids all day instead of adults!
I can bake chocolate chip cookies in my own kitchen in the middle of the day!
I get lots of hugs and kisses all day!
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newtoeverything 07:30 AM 03-23-2010
Originally Posted by originalkat:

Things I LOVE about being a childcare provider:

I get to have plenty of natural light and a pretty view (no office cubicle view)
No Commute
No dress code
I can fold laundry and do dishes during the day
I have time to plant a garden (and the children learn from the experience)
I dont have a BOSS
I can spend all day outside on a beautiful day!
We can play and have fun all day.
I am here for my own kids.
I make my own rules and policies and dont have to follow someone elses.
We get to have fun learning all day.
I get to spend time with kids all day instead of adults!
I can bake chocolate chip cookies in my own kitchen in the middle of the day!
I get lots of hugs and kisses all day!
I will print this and read it everyday!!! This is great - especially the NO DRESS CODE - YAY!
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Crystal 08:21 AM 03-23-2010
I love my work, and have never questioned my decision. After 13 years of working with children, I can honestly say I enjoy getting up and "going" to work every day.
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 08:28 AM 03-23-2010
Originally Posted by originalkat:
I have had those days as well. I sometimes find myself wondering how anyone can LIKE this job. LOL! When I get like this I like to remember why I love my job and look for others (usually online) who love what they do as well!
Sometimes I watch the "Provider of the Week" video clips on A Place of our Own
Sometimes I read blogs of other providers who are dedicated and motivated!! I love Annie's Alphabet blog and Kozy Kids family childcare blog.

Things I LOVE about being a childcare provider:

I get to have plenty of natural light and a pretty view (no office cubicle view)
No Commute
No dress code
I can fold laundry and do dishes during the day
I have time to plant a garden (and the children learn from the experience)
I dont have a BOSS
I can spend all day outside on a beautiful day!
We can play and have fun all day.
I am here for my own kids.
I make my own rules and policies and dont have to follow someone elses.
We get to have fun learning all day.
I get to spend time with kids all day instead of adults!
I can bake chocolate chip cookies in my own kitchen in the middle of the day!
I get lots of hugs and kisses all day!
You are very right...I LOVE all of those things too...I just get in a rut from time to time. I love that I don't have to rush around to get myself ready in the morning...and I'm my own boss...and I can take the kids outside and play and learn while their parents don't get a chance to (or in some cases, those parents that just won't). Most days I get a 2 hour break while the 2 little ones I watch take a nap where I can do dishes, laundry, ect. Really I have a lot of advantages of staying home and doing daycare, I just get in frustrating moods at times (in fact I am in my PMS stage, so that could be why, LOL).

Like last week my 22month old daycare nephew was in a terrible mood the entire week and constantly grumpy. I had to speak to him a lot. My 6 year old daughter made me something special out of the craft bin and she was so excited and made it with all her love and hung it on my bedroom wall for me...normally my bedroom door is shut but from time to time it gets left open by mistake...my daycare nephew took it off the wall and tore it all apart. :-( I was so upset.

Both daycare boys (22 months and 16 months) keep putting EVERYTHING in their mouth and they both have runny noses and couphing. Normal stuff but it's yucky when they get ahold of something that is special to my girls (most of it is kept in their rooms but things of theirs do end up in my playroom I use for daycare).

The new 16 month boy is getting over his separation anxiety and now showing just how busy he really is...he is rough and yanks on my window blinds that are custom made...takes apart the craft papers the kids hang on the refridgerator...and today he yanked off a paper my 4 year old daughter put on her bedroom door and ran the other way and crinkled it up and made her so upset. I have one of those play yards set up in my living room and when I put him in it he cries and cries and cries.

Just petty stuff that bothers me at times, I am caring but only human too...but overall I shouldn't complain because I do have a great daycare now..I have had a couple of tough kids from different families come into my daycare that are gone now and things are running SOOOOO much better and I have a good mix where things are not overwhelming to me.

Thanks for listening to my vent ladies...I'm so glad I have this forum to come to, to let it all out at times.
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mrs.meg 08:42 AM 03-23-2010
I think this job is like anything else, some people are made to do this and some aren't. I happen to be one person who is not!!!

I do love lots of things about it, but I still have trouble because 2 of the 3 children I keep are very disrespectful. It is hard for me to like them because of the way they are raised. I keep reminding myself that it is not their fault, it is the parents. The parents treat them as peers, so they do not understand that they are children. Makes for a long day when you have 2 and 5 year olds telling you what to do, constant discipline. I feel I am always reminding them of the rules and it never sinks in. I think if you could find parents who were more along the lines of your own parenting style, it would be great!

I am back in school now. I take classes online. I know I can only do this for a few years, I am just not one of the kind who can do it forever. One of the perks of the job, at nap time I can study. It is still hard to find time. Seems that nap time is catch up on the housework time. Hard to balance, I wish I were more organized!!!!
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momofsix 11:13 AM 03-23-2010
I love my job, and have wanted to work with kids since I first started babysitting when I was 11! That being said, no job is perfect. Off and on through the years there have been discouraging times, but they are always outweighed by the joyful times. My frustration right now is never getting tiime off, except for my vacation of course--I'm supposed to have physical therapy from when I broke my wrist, they don't do evenings--I can't make 5 different families change their schedule just for me--grrr. Hopefully I'm going today--got an appointment, got someone to come the last hour of daycare, now hoping nothing happens so that I can't go. things like that frustrate me. It's so hard to go to the Dr., dentist, or any appointment. But really that's my only gripe (at least right now!), so that's pretty good job satisfaction!
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TGT09 01:30 PM 03-25-2010
I know this was a few days ago but MAN I am having one of those days. I am literally about to burst into tears at any moment! My day was complete and utter chaos. I have 4 sick kids that were out earlier this week and all came back today. They ALL fought with each other allll flipping day! Dcb cried every time anyone touched him or came near a toy he was playing with. Dcg and dcb got into a hitting fight over a CHAIR! Dcb peed on the bathroom floor because he wasn't paying attention. No one shared ANYTHING! I went upstairs for 2 minutes to take a child to their father and another mother came...as soon as we walked down the stairs dcb says "Annabelle (my dog) just bit me!"....LOVELY, right in front of another parent (who is not fond of dogs might I add). (Let me defend my dog in saying she does NOT bite anyone and this boy has 2 rough dogs at home, he was trying to play tug with her and he put his fingers near her mouth). So now, I will be keeping my dogs even MORE kenneled up now and that makes me even more sad. Holy mother, I was just on hotjobs.com because I feel like I don't know how much longer I can deal with all the in's and out's. Only other daycare providers understand how frustrating it all is! My friends don't understand.
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kitkat 06:28 PM 03-25-2010
Originally Posted by TGT09:
Holy mother, I was just on hotjobs.com because I feel like I don't know how much longer I can deal with all the in's and out's. Only other daycare providers understand how frustrating it all is! My friends don't understand.
On my really bad days I look at jobs online also! Then I tell myself that I'd have to pay for child care and think of the other things that would change if I worked elsewhere, and I realize that I am probably better off (for now) doing this. This is by far the hardest job I've ever had and I think the only people who understand what we have to deal with are other providers. I am SOOO thankful for this forum!
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misol 11:01 AM 03-26-2010
Originally Posted by TGT09:
I know this was a few days ago but MAN I am having one of those days. I am literally about to burst into tears at any moment! My day was complete and utter chaos. I have 4 sick kids that were out earlier this week and all came back today. They ALL fought with each other allll flipping day! Dcb cried every time anyone touched him or came near a toy he was playing with. Dcg and dcb got into a hitting fight over a CHAIR! Dcb peed on the bathroom floor because he wasn't paying attention. No one shared ANYTHING! I went upstairs for 2 minutes to take a child to their father and another mother came...as soon as we walked down the stairs dcb says "Annabelle (my dog) just bit me!"....LOVELY, right in front of another parent (who is not fond of dogs might I add). (Let me defend my dog in saying she does NOT bite anyone and this boy has 2 rough dogs at home, he was trying to play tug with her and he put his fingers near her mouth). So now, I will be keeping my dogs even MORE kenneled up now and that makes me even more sad. Holy mother, I was just on hotjobs.com because I feel like I don't know how much longer I can deal with all the in's and out's. Only other daycare providers understand how frustrating it all is! My friends don't understand.
I hope that you are having amuch better day today!
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TGT09 11:25 AM 03-26-2010
Thanks, it has been much better but with still a few hiccups. I think part of the problem is that I am now getting sick....I have had a sore/scratchy throat since last night. Luckily, for me, I have off on Monday and Friday next week!
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boysx5 01:10 PM 03-26-2010
I love my job most days but there are days when I say why do I do this like when I don't get paid or when others think all you do is sit around all day because we are home and want you to watch their kids for free. I say I'm sure any job has its ups and downs glad I have more ups than downs
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