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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Help Me With Hitting, Positive Reinforcement System
spinnymarie 06:00 AM 02-25-2014
I'm at my wits end with all the hitting around here. It's not hard hitting, no one is actually hurt, but they seem to have all forgotten how to use words.
They usually get a time out. If you aren't using time outs, what are you doing differently?
I have a positive reinforcement system in place for the whole group - does anyone do positive reinforcement for each individual kid? Maybe that's what I need.
They usually get a time out. If you aren't using time outs, what are you doing differently?
I have a positive reinforcement system in place for the whole group - does anyone do positive reinforcement for each individual kid? Maybe that's what I need.
CraftyMom 07:27 AM 02-25-2014
I have zero tolerance for hitting. If you hit you sit. Then I make a big deal over the one who got hit. "I'm sorry dcb hit you, that is not how we treat our friends" or "awwww poor dcg it's no fun to be hit by our friends" with a big hug.
llpa 07:48 AM 02-25-2014
We also have a "hit you sit" rule and while I pile on the praise during times when they could have hit but used words instead, it is all verbal. Everyone is different, I just don't give a physical reward to a child for behaving in a way that is expected on every level in society. It does get harder if you have more than one hitter. Sometimes there are a couple sitting w a toy all alone in various parts of the dc. 
daycarediva 09:33 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by llpa:
We also have a "hit you sit" rule and while I pile on the praise during times when they could have hit but used words instead, it is all verbal. Everyone is different, I just don't give a physical reward to a child for behaving in a way that is expected on every level in society. It does get harder if you have more than one hitter. Sometimes there are a couple sitting w a toy all alone in various parts of the dc.
yup. IMHO- there are far too many 'overly praised' children. Sticker charts, BIG rewards for small things or expected behavior, etc. They come to expect rewards, and those their intrinisic motivation for doing what they know is right. We also have a "hit you sit" rule and while I pile on the praise during times when they could have hit but used words instead, it is all verbal. Everyone is different, I just don't give a physical reward to a child for behaving in a way that is expected on every level in society. It does get harder if you have more than one hitter. Sometimes there are a couple sitting w a toy all alone in various parts of the dc.
I don't use stickers, at all, ever. Positive reward here is praise and a high five.
My3cents 10:38 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by spinnymarie:
I'm at my wits end with all the hitting around here. It's not hard hitting, no one is actually hurt, but they seem to have all forgotten how to use words.
They usually get a time out. If you aren't using time outs, what are you doing differently?
I have a positive reinforcement system in place for the whole group - does anyone do positive reinforcement for each individual kid? Maybe that's what I need.
hitting to me doesn't include positive reinforcementI'm at my wits end with all the hitting around here. It's not hard hitting, no one is actually hurt, but they seem to have all forgotten how to use words.
They usually get a time out. If you aren't using time outs, what are you doing differently?
I have a positive reinforcement system in place for the whole group - does anyone do positive reinforcement for each individual kid? Maybe that's what I need.
Its a plain out NO We don't hit. Teaching kids NO is a good thing, not a bad thing, because life is not full of positives in reality- Some things are NO
What I do is tell the child No, we don't hit. Then I turn my attention on the victim and make sure that child is ok. I say we don't hit our friends that hurts and we don't like to hurt people. I say this as I am hugging the victim or checking out the hit site but is meant for everyone in the room to hear.
Two's love to hit. They can react before the words come out of the mouth. Three's have more understanding, but the two's are capable of understanding also.
This is what works for me.
Good luck-
My3cents 10:39 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I have zero tolerance for hitting. If you hit you sit. Then I make a big deal over the one who got hit. "I'm sorry dcb hit you, that is not how we treat our friends" or "awwww poor dcg it's no fun to be hit by our friends" with a big hug.
I have zero tolerance for hitting. If you hit you sit. Then I make a big deal over the one who got hit. "I'm sorry dcb hit you, that is not how we treat our friends" or "awwww poor dcg it's no fun to be hit by our friends" with a big hug.
I need to learn to read before I respond.....again
My3cents 10:41 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
yup. IMHO- there are far too many 'overly praised' children. Sticker charts, BIG rewards for small things or expected behavior, etc. They come to expect rewards, and those their intrinisic motivation for doing what they know is right.
I don't use stickers, at all, ever. Positive reward here is praise and a high five.
I do praise too, but I do stickers for potty training and also praise.yup. IMHO- there are far too many 'overly praised' children. Sticker charts, BIG rewards for small things or expected behavior, etc. They come to expect rewards, and those their intrinisic motivation for doing what they know is right.
I don't use stickers, at all, ever. Positive reward here is praise and a high five.
LadyPearl 10:58 AM 02-25-2014
I am also reluctant to shower with praise. I don't like the attitudes that it can produce.
spinnymarie 02:54 PM 02-25-2014
Thank you for the replies.
I am also using the 'hit-sit' rule - however, in finding that certain kids are hitting/sitting several times each day I was hoping to improve upon it in some way. Glad to hear that it is continuing to work for others.
Perhaps my questioning was misleading, as my positive reinforcement question wasn't specifically linked to hitting, outside of the fact that I usually find that when misbehavior peaks that I have been slacking on positive reinforcement, so a chart or something is helpful for me to remember to praise each child as well as reflect on our day and think about how we can improve for the next day.
I feel I am well-versed in positive reinforcement and its benefits as well as its short-comings, and I am not out to start a debate on whether to use it and in what ways - I was simply asking if anyone has had success with an individual system in a daycare setting.
Thanks for the feedback
I am also using the 'hit-sit' rule - however, in finding that certain kids are hitting/sitting several times each day I was hoping to improve upon it in some way. Glad to hear that it is continuing to work for others.
Perhaps my questioning was misleading, as my positive reinforcement question wasn't specifically linked to hitting, outside of the fact that I usually find that when misbehavior peaks that I have been slacking on positive reinforcement, so a chart or something is helpful for me to remember to praise each child as well as reflect on our day and think about how we can improve for the next day.
I feel I am well-versed in positive reinforcement and its benefits as well as its short-comings, and I am not out to start a debate on whether to use it and in what ways - I was simply asking if anyone has had success with an individual system in a daycare setting.
Thanks for the feedback
caregiver 05:52 AM 02-26-2014
What do you do when you have a child that is older, say 4, almost 5 yr old and they hit and misbehave and you tell them to sit or go in time out and they say No. As a provider there is nothing we can further do to make the child go sit or go in time out. I have a dcb like this and when I tell him to sit or go sit in time out he will tell me no and turn away. You can't force him physically to sit or go in time out, so I am at a loss as how to handle him when he hits or misbehaves. I have talked with his parents and they know what he does and he also hits his sister at home, but they are the parents so they can discipline more then I can here.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Unregistered 06:42 AM 02-26-2014
A four or five year old can most certainly be placed in time out. No way would I let a five year old tell me no when I told him to go to time out. I'm not sure how long you've had him in care but by 5 he would either get the rules or get out.I have zero tolerance for disrespecrful children. Children learning rules and boundaries,sure,disrespect,NO!
I would physically pick him up and place him in time out and put him back every time.
This should have started much earlier than five so he will put up a fight.
He thinks there is nothing you can do when he tells you no,show him that no is not acceptable.
I would physically pick him up and place him in time out and put him back every time.
This should have started much earlier than five so he will put up a fight.
He thinks there is nothing you can do when he tells you no,show him that no is not acceptable.
Blackcat31 07:03 AM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
A four or five year old can most certainly be placed in time out. No way would I let a five year old tell me no when I told him to go to time out. I'm not sure how long you've had him in care but by 5 he would either get the rules or get out.I have zero tolerance for disrespecrful children. Children learning rules and boundaries,sure,disrespect,NO!
I would physically pick him up and place him in time out and put him back every time.
This should have started much earlier than five so he will put up a fight.
He thinks there is nothing you can do when he tells you no,show him that no is not acceptable.
A four or five year old can most certainly be placed in time out. No way would I let a five year old tell me no when I told him to go to time out. I'm not sure how long you've had him in care but by 5 he would either get the rules or get out.I have zero tolerance for disrespecrful children. Children learning rules and boundaries,sure,disrespect,NO!
I would physically pick him up and place him in time out and put him back every time.
This should have started much earlier than five so he will put up a fight.
He thinks there is nothing you can do when he tells you no,show him that no is not acceptable.
Then what??Physically force him to stay put??
NO WAY would I get into a physical struggle with a 4 or 5 yr old child about going or staying in time out.
I would be cited for that in a heart beat as NO discipline can be physical and certainly not a physical struggle.
If a child refused to listen to my directions, I would be calling the parent and having them come pick the child up immediately. They created an unwilling child, they can fix it.
Unregistered 07:40 AM 02-26-2014
I would not be cited for physically picking up a child and placing them in time out.Technically we are allowed in my state to "restrain if needed by placing the children in our lap and wrapping our arms around them. I've never had to do that but yes,I have and will pickup a child to place them in time out.I'm never forceful,I pick them up,put them in time out and walk away.I will do it 100 times if I have to. This starts early so it may be too late for a five year old. If I ever have to call a parent because I cant control a child that would be their last day here.
They can act however they want with them but here they follow rules and respect me and my home.
They can act however they want with them but here they follow rules and respect me and my home.
Blackcat31 07:53 AM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I would not be cited for physically picking up a child and placing them in time out.Technically we are allowed in my state to "restrain if needed by placing the children in our lap and wrapping our arms around them. I've never had to do that but yes,I have and will pickup a child to place them in time out.I'm never forceful,I pick them up,put them in time out and walk away.I will do it 100 times if I have to. This starts early so it may be too late for a five year old. If I ever have to call a parent because I cant control a child that would be their last day here.
They can act however they want with them but here they follow rules and respect me and my home.
I guess as long as the parent understands that is how your discipline strategies work, great. Like I said, NOT something I would ever engage in. I would not be cited for physically picking up a child and placing them in time out.Technically we are allowed in my state to "restrain if needed by placing the children in our lap and wrapping our arms around them. I've never had to do that but yes,I have and will pickup a child to place them in time out.I'm never forceful,I pick them up,put them in time out and walk away.I will do it 100 times if I have to. This starts early so it may be too late for a five year old. If I ever have to call a parent because I cant control a child that would be their last day here.
They can act however they want with them but here they follow rules and respect me and my home.
I just do not believe that repeatedly putting a 4 or 5 yr old child back on to the time out spot over and over again is a healthy method of disciplining and or guiding a child.
At that age, he knows how to listen. Not staying in the time out chair is pure defiance and that type of defiance isn't "fixed" simply by repeatedly placing him back on the chair every time he gets off and runs.
That sounds like a pretty fun game for a 4 or 5 year old....and ALOT of wasted time on the providers part.
I think that if a child repeatedly gets up after being told not to, then time out isn't an effective method of guidance for that child. Other strategies should be researched and tried.
Applying and/or having to endure a time out shouldn't be an aerobic activity and it should never take more than a few minutes from the time a child has to sit to the discussion afterwards.
caregiver 08:02 AM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Then what??
Physically force him to stay put??
NO WAY would I get into a physical struggle with a 4 or 5 yr old child about going or staying in time out.
I would be cited for that in a heart beat as NO discipline can be physical and certainly not a physical struggle.
If a child refused to listen to my directions, I would be calling the parent and having them come pick the child up immediately. They created an unwilling child, they can fix it.
That is my issue. That I can not physically pick him up knowing I would be cited for doing that. As a provider these days we have to be SO careful on what we do and so that is my issue. I have thought about calling the parents, but have not had the guts to do yet as I try to handle the situation myself. I feel as tho I should not call parents just for their child not listening to me about sitting in time out as they will think that I can not handle their child and that I must not be a good daycare provider if I call them every time their child misbehaves and won't do a time out. Also parents can't get off of work to come get their child. I run a small daycare and only have 3 kids, so I am not in a center setting and I try to make my daycare feel like home for the kids and more of a personal type place, so that is part of my issue also. Then what??Physically force him to stay put??
NO WAY would I get into a physical struggle with a 4 or 5 yr old child about going or staying in time out.
I would be cited for that in a heart beat as NO discipline can be physical and certainly not a physical struggle.
If a child refused to listen to my directions, I would be calling the parent and having them come pick the child up immediately. They created an unwilling child, they can fix it.
My own kids were taught to behave and we didn't allow them to act like that when they were growing up and never ever acted like the dck's I have now. My husband & I believe in discipline and our boys never had any issues of any kind growing up, but today's kids are so different as it seems their is no discipline at home and they think that they can just get away with things and their parents won't do anything. And as providers it is hard for us to do much as we are told that we can not do much disciplining of any kind or we get in trouble, so we are stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. So I just do the best I can with dealing with issues here and that is about all I can do. I just keep talking to the parents about him and hope that something works soon.
Blackcat31 08:11 AM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by care giver:
What do you do when you have a child that is older, say 4, almost 5 yr old and they hit and misbehave and you tell them to sit or go in time out and they say No. As a provider there is nothing we can further do to make the child go sit or go in time out. I have a dcb like this and when I tell him to sit or go sit in time out he will tell me no and turn away. You can't force him physically to sit or go in time out, so I am at a loss as how to handle him when he hits or misbehaves. I have talked with his parents and they know what he does and he also hits his sister at home, but they are the parents so they can discipline more then I can here.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
What do you do when you have a child that is older, say 4, almost 5 yr old and they hit and misbehave and you tell them to sit or go in time out and they say No. As a provider there is nothing we can further do to make the child go sit or go in time out. I have a dcb like this and when I tell him to sit or go sit in time out he will tell me no and turn away. You can't force him physically to sit or go in time out, so I am at a loss as how to handle him when he hits or misbehaves. I have talked with his parents and they know what he does and he also hits his sister at home, but they are the parents so they can discipline more then I can here.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Originally Posted by care giver:
That is my issue. That I can not physically pick him up knowing I would be cited for doing that. As a provider these days we have to be SO careful on what we do and so that is my issue. I have thought about calling the parents, but have not had the guts to do yet as I try to handle the situation myself. I feel as tho I should not call parents just for their child not listening to me about sitting in time out as they will think that I can not handle their child and that I must not be a good daycare provider if I call them every time their child misbehaves and won't do a time out. Also parents can't get off of work to come get their child. I run a small daycare and only have 3 kids, so I am not in a center setting and I try to make my daycare feel like home for the kids and more of a personal type place, so that is part of my issue also.
My own kids were taught to behave and we didn't allow them to act like that when they were growing up and never ever acted like the dck's I have now. My husband & I believe in discipline and our boys never had any issues of any kind growing up, but today's kids are so different as it seems their is no discipline at home and they think that they can just get away with things and their parents won't do anything. And as providers it is hard for us to do much as we are told that we can not do much disciplining of any kind or we get in trouble, so we are stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. So I just do the best I can with dealing with issues here and that is about all I can do. I just keep talking to the parents about him and hope that something works soon.
The parents are already aware of the fact that he does not listen and that he hits. That is my issue. That I can not physically pick him up knowing I would be cited for doing that. As a provider these days we have to be SO careful on what we do and so that is my issue. I have thought about calling the parents, but have not had the guts to do yet as I try to handle the situation myself. I feel as tho I should not call parents just for their child not listening to me about sitting in time out as they will think that I can not handle their child and that I must not be a good daycare provider if I call them every time their child misbehaves and won't do a time out. Also parents can't get off of work to come get their child. I run a small daycare and only have 3 kids, so I am not in a center setting and I try to make my daycare feel like home for the kids and more of a personal type place, so that is part of my issue also.
My own kids were taught to behave and we didn't allow them to act like that when they were growing up and never ever acted like the dck's I have now. My husband & I believe in discipline and our boys never had any issues of any kind growing up, but today's kids are so different as it seems their is no discipline at home and they think that they can just get away with things and their parents won't do anything. And as providers it is hard for us to do much as we are told that we can not do much disciplining of any kind or we get in trouble, so we are stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. So I just do the best I can with dealing with issues here and that is about all I can do. I just keep talking to the parents about him and hope that something works soon.
They are not going to think you are a bad provider because you can't handle their mess...kwim?
I think that too many providers have that thought process happening in their minds...."if we call a parent to pick up it must mean we aren't competent providers".... It does NOT mean that.
We are bound by licensing rules and cannot do things that go against our regulations and I truly believe that a physical power struggle is something our state regs are clear about not doing.
I think you need to have a sit down conference with the parents and put a plan in place for what to do when he hits and then refuses to go to time out.
The parents need to be the ones to come up with a plan that leaves them doing the majority of the work and be the ones who give the most.
They can't shove the issue off onto you when you are caring for a group of children. Plus they made this issue, they have to do the work to fix it.
It doesn't matter if they can or can't get off work to pick him up. He is their child, therefore he is THEIR responsibility. They can't just leave you to deal with their doings.
You are at work too and trying to do a good job being a provider. What makes their job any more important than yours?
spinnymarie 09:30 AM 02-26-2014
I agree that the parents definitely know that their child is overly defiant, and that it is no slight against you --- even if they pretend that it is your problem, it most certainly is not.
If a child refused to go to time out, I'd offer a choice of time out or a greater consequence: You can go to time out now, or you will not be allowed to play with my toys for the rest of the day (or something similar) you will not participate in our art project, etc etc etc. and finally, at the end of the line, you can go to time out now or I can call your mom to take you home - either way you will not be allowed to play with our friends and toys right now. If you choose time out, you will be allowed to come back, if you choose for me to call your mom, you cannot come back and play today.
If a child refused to go to time out, I'd offer a choice of time out or a greater consequence: You can go to time out now, or you will not be allowed to play with my toys for the rest of the day (or something similar) you will not participate in our art project, etc etc etc. and finally, at the end of the line, you can go to time out now or I can call your mom to take you home - either way you will not be allowed to play with our friends and toys right now. If you choose time out, you will be allowed to come back, if you choose for me to call your mom, you cannot come back and play today.
Unregistered 10:49 AM 02-26-2014
So if a 2.5 year old who knows better is frequently being rough, and is not willing to sit out for a break, then what.
I'm open to new ideas.
I'm open to new ideas.
My3cents 11:19 AM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by spinnymarie:
I agree that the parents definitely know that their child is overly defiant, and that it is no slight against you --- even if they pretend that it is your problem, it most certainly is not.
If a child refused to go to time out, I'd offer a choice of time out or a greater consequence: You can go to time out now, or you will not be allowed to play with my toys for the rest of the day (or something similar) you will not participate in our art project, etc etc etc. and finally, at the end of the line, you can go to time out now or I can call your mom to take you home - either way you will not be allowed to play with our friends and toys right now. If you choose time out, you will be allowed to come back, if you choose for me to call your mom, you cannot come back and play today.
This can backfire. You will get the child that says call my mom. I don't recommend this. Call Mom if you have exhausted all efforts but not as a choice for the child to make. I agree that the parents definitely know that their child is overly defiant, and that it is no slight against you --- even if they pretend that it is your problem, it most certainly is not.
If a child refused to go to time out, I'd offer a choice of time out or a greater consequence: You can go to time out now, or you will not be allowed to play with my toys for the rest of the day (or something similar) you will not participate in our art project, etc etc etc. and finally, at the end of the line, you can go to time out now or I can call your mom to take you home - either way you will not be allowed to play with our friends and toys right now. If you choose time out, you will be allowed to come back, if you choose for me to call your mom, you cannot come back and play today.
When a child smells a power struggle they will run with it, when you take the power out of it, often the problem can be solved. I use this often......... Let me know when your done having a fit/melt down. I walk away from the tantrum. Makes the child think about the actions. I also talk with parents at pick up and say look little kiddo would not listen to me today at all. He refused to go to time out. I don't expect parents to fix what is going on at my home, but I ask them if they can work on it at home, or offer any suggestions and I ask them to talk to the child.
Blackcat31 12:31 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
So if a 2.5 year old who knows better is frequently being rough, and is not willing to sit out for a break, then what.
I'm open to new ideas.
I don't think a 2.5 yr old does know better. At that age, they are just learning about impulse control and the fact that they DO have control over that. So if a 2.5 year old who knows better is frequently being rough, and is not willing to sit out for a break, then what.
I'm open to new ideas.
I also don't think that time out is an appropriate method of discipline to use for a 2 yr old. At that age, being asked to simply leave the group or activity when he gets rough would be a good way to teach him that when he is rough, he can't play.
ANY type of discipline that includes a natural consequence is something I support.
Getting rough = can't play (whatever)
Hitting our friends = not playing with friends
Maybe have him shadow you for a certain amount of time. Point out and positively praise other kids when you see them playing nicely. Point it out to DCB as what you expect from him as well.
At that age, discipline and guidance is more of an ongoing thing where teaching them how to manage frustrations, impulse control and negative behaviors should just be something that is embedded into your daily routine.
I am sure there are plenty of providers and parents who have had success using time out. I just don't feel as though it is an adequate tool to teach children.
Time out is a punishment. When children younger than 3 misbehave, it is usually because they have little control over their feelings, have limited vocabularies and communication skills and really don't know "better".
I would rather teach them something while guiding them to play properly verses punishing them for being 2.
daycare 02:09 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't think a 2.5 yr old does know better. At that age, they are just learning about impulse control and the fact that they DO have control over that.
I also don't think that time out is an appropriate method of discipline to use for a 2 yr old. At that age, being asked to simply leave the group or activity when he gets rough would be a good way to teach him that when he is rough, he can't play.
ANY type of discipline that includes a natural consequence is something I support.
Getting rough = can't play (whatever)
Hitting our friends = not playing with friends
Maybe have him shadow you for a certain amount of time. Point out and positively praise other kids when you see them playing nicely. Point it out to DCB as what you expect from him as well.
At that age, discipline and guidance is more of an ongoing thing where teaching them how to manage frustrations, impulse control and negative behaviors should just be something that is embedded into your daily routine.
I am sure there are plenty of providers and parents who have had success using time out. I just don't feel as though it is an adequate tool to teach children.
Time out is a punishment. When children younger than 3 misbehave, it is usually because they have little control over their feelings, have limited vocabularies and communication skills and really don't know "better".
I would rather teach them something while guiding them to play properly verses punishing them for being 2.
I agree with this. 100%I don't think a 2.5 yr old does know better. At that age, they are just learning about impulse control and the fact that they DO have control over that.
I also don't think that time out is an appropriate method of discipline to use for a 2 yr old. At that age, being asked to simply leave the group or activity when he gets rough would be a good way to teach him that when he is rough, he can't play.
ANY type of discipline that includes a natural consequence is something I support.
Getting rough = can't play (whatever)
Hitting our friends = not playing with friends
Maybe have him shadow you for a certain amount of time. Point out and positively praise other kids when you see them playing nicely. Point it out to DCB as what you expect from him as well.
At that age, discipline and guidance is more of an ongoing thing where teaching them how to manage frustrations, impulse control and negative behaviors should just be something that is embedded into your daily routine.
I am sure there are plenty of providers and parents who have had success using time out. I just don't feel as though it is an adequate tool to teach children.
Time out is a punishment. When children younger than 3 misbehave, it is usually because they have little control over their feelings, have limited vocabularies and communication skills and really don't know "better".
I would rather teach them something while guiding them to play properly verses punishing them for being 2.
with my under 2 group I try to be as proactive as I can. I play with this group quite a bit. I talk a lot about, we are friends we can share it makes us feel happy. I talk about how words can hurt and hitting hurts.
I show them and talk to them about what I expect from their behavior. If they hit, I tell them No, hitting is not nice. We hug it out and say, Johnny/Sal is your friends we are gentle with our friends, hitting hurts, we use gentle touches with our friends. When someone takes your toy away you can come ask me for help or use your words.
You have to give them words to use. Some kids can't verbalize their feelings just yet. If you see a child is sad, you can help them identify by saying, I see you are feeling sad, can you show/tell me why? This gives them an understanding/definition of the words.
Remain calm when it happens, be supportive, they are still learning. If children see your frustration/anger it may escalate the matter.
You need to demonstrate and model appropriate behaviors and interactions. Try to play games that promote positive behavior. We play holding hands games alot, sing we are friends and talk about how we treat friends all the time. Hitting is not a big issue here, our biggest issues is not using words, which again is typical for 2's.
When I see them hit, I might look at the hitter and say are you feeling angry? Let's use our words not our hands. Say sorry, give hugs, we are friends and move on.
Most kids this age have not yet learned to handle their emotions when they get upset, angery, etc.