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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Didn't Bring His Lunch Because He Wants To Eat At Home!
Unregistered 08:47 AM 11-22-2011
So the parents provide lunch. Dck is leaving at 1pm. His mom tells me he said he wanted to wait til then to eat, so she didnt bring his lunch. 5 min after she leaves "Im hungry" "we will have snack in a bit, but I dont know what you are going to do at lunch when all of your friends are eating and you dont have a lunch." of course, tears! why would she listen to the kid 5 hours before time that he doesnt want to eat here!!!!????
So i have to now tell her next time bring it anyway and I will send it home if he doesnt eat!

Now he's telling me he didnt say that, he just didnt tell her what he wanted!
Im not going to provide lunch for the kids.
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youretooloud 09:12 AM 11-22-2011
Just make sure he eats a big snack (maybe serve it late) and then make sure he has something fun to do while the others eat. It would be unfair to him to have him sit with them while they eat.

I'll bet the "no lunch" thing was more mom's idea than the kid's idea.
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joysjustlikehome 09:14 AM 11-22-2011
If she is so into "doing what HE wants" call her up when you serve the other kids and tell her to pick him up now because he said he is ready to eat. Omgosh - these parents!!! ~Joy
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nannyde 09:15 AM 11-22-2011
I would call her at eleven and tell her he is hungry and that she either needs to come and pick him up for the day or bring by his lunch.
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small_steps 09:15 AM 11-22-2011
I would feel so bad if I had to think my child was sitting there watching other children eat because he didn't have a lunch. I think parent's don't think things through. Of course he is going to want food when the other kids have their food. I used to work for a center that didn't provide lunch and parents would say they were going to pick up before lunch so they didn't bring the kid a lunch (happened several times with same child), and then they wouldn't pick up when they said and he'd be without a lunch at 3 & 4 years old. Too sad. i always scrounged around and found him something to munch on.
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cheerfuldom 09:15 AM 11-22-2011
I bet the no lunch thing was in hopes that if he needed to eat, you would provide for that day. One less thing for mom to do in the morning.

I like your idea of requiring the lunch and sending him if he doesn't eat it.
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youretooloud 09:40 AM 11-22-2011
BUT..if he did say "No, I don't want a lunch" or wouldn't answer his mom, I'd let him suffer a little bit. I have no problems letting the child learn the hard way that he either better answer her, or stop saying "no".

It's not like it's all day... it's only til 1:00. He'll live and I wouldn't feel that sorry for him. I'm all for tough love.
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sharlan 09:42 AM 11-22-2011
Why punish the child?

I would give him another healthy snack while the other kids ate lunch. I would never withhold food from a child.
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nannyde 09:42 AM 11-22-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
BUT..if he did say "No, I don't want a lunch" or wouldn't answer his mom, I'd let him suffer a little bit. I have no problems letting the child learn the hard way that he either better answer her, or stop saying "no".

It's not like it's all day... it's only til 1:00. He'll live and I wouldn't feel that sorry for him.
Nah

He's too young to make decisions about whether or not a meal is available and when and with who he will eat.

It shouldn't have been discussed with him. The provider has meal times at her house and the parent should have provided the meal whether the child talked to her about it or not.
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youretooloud 09:46 AM 11-22-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nah

He's too young to make decisions about whether or not a meal is available and when and with who he will eat.

It shouldn't have been discussed with him. The provider has meal times at her house and the parent should have provided the meal whether the child talked to her about it or not.
I think a five year old is old enough to make a decision about a meal. A five year old is old enough to make those choices, and learn if it doesn't work out.

If the provider makes him something, it should just be vegies and a piece of fruit....but, I bet he'll choose to eat her food more often, and if it's easier for mom.
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daycare 09:51 AM 11-22-2011
I would not take this out on the kid, this was a BAD parent decision.

I would call the mom and say johnny does not have any food, would you like to pick him up or would you like me to feed him? There is a $15.00 food fee if I feed him all day.

I could not let any child sit in my home and watch others eat because the parent decides to try to teach their child a lesson on my watch.
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awestbrook713 09:53 AM 11-22-2011
I don't see where an age is given, and honestly if I was mom I would have provided something and rather gotten it back then give the kid nothing. Kids don't understand how their bodies work at young ages we need to look out for them.
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nannyde 09:57 AM 11-22-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
I think a five year old is old enough to make a decision about a meal. A five year old is old enough to make those choices, and learn if it doesn't work out.

If the provider makes him something, it should just be vegies and a piece of fruit....but, I bet he'll choose to eat her food more often, and if it's easier for mom.
I don't agree. It shouldn't even be discussed with a child that age. All she had to do was bring a lunch and say "if he doesn't want the meal... can you save it for him for pick up?"

That way he could decide to eat with the kids or decide to wait when it was TIME to decide.

I'm not buying it anyway. I think the Mom was running late or arguing with him and she decided to throw words at the provider instead of getting the lunch together or bottom line it with the kid.
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Unregistered 09:57 AM 11-22-2011
He's 4. I gave him half a pb&j and Ill tell his mom next time bring just in case. She said he didnt want to bring something and yea, Im all for tough love too, but its too long for him to make a choice that he cant change in the next 5 hours. Besides, not this lady, but I could see this coming back to bite me with others Ive had!
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Unregistered 09:59 AM 11-22-2011
shes an old friend so I could see here asking me to make something before she would make him starve because she didnt have time to make something
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youretooloud 10:09 AM 11-22-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't agree. It shouldn't even be discussed with a child that age. All she had to do was bring a lunch and say "if he doesn't want the meal... can you save it for him for pick up?"

That way he could decide to eat with the kids or decide to wait when it was TIME to decide.

I'm not buying it anyway. I think the Mom was running late or arguing with him and she decided to throw words at the provider instead of getting the lunch together or bottom line it with the kid.

I'm not saying she shouldn't have made a lunch anyway.

I'm not even saying I think HE SAID he didn't want a lunch. I'm just saying that if the parent was making a point to the child, it's her decision, and I would allow that. It's only til 1:00...not 3:00, and he was having a snack.

I am more than willing to let both child and parent learn the hard way how to make good decisions. If the parent won't bring shoes on a wet day, they take home wet muddy socks to wash. If the child won't wear shoes, and the parent caved in, they take home wet muddy socks.

I went to school a few times without a coat because I refused... I was cold, and wished I'd had my coat. I forgot my lunch money at home a few times when it was a good lunch, and I had to run home at lunch and eat a PBJ.

Five year olds are capable of learning how to think ahead. (IF indeed he did argue with his mom about lunch..and if you read my first response, I don't really believe he did argue..I think his original story was the thruth)

Maybe she plans to take him out for Pizza? On Tuesdays, I have a one and three year old who have to wait for lunch because they go out for pizza every tuesday... so, the others eat lunch while they watch a show. They survive and are fine.
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mommiesherie 10:36 AM 11-22-2011
I
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nah

He's too young to make decisions about whether or not a meal is available and when and with who he will eat.

It shouldn't have been discussed with him. The provider has meal times at her house and the parent should have provided the meal whether the child talked to her about it or not.
I agree. I would either call her and say bring lunch or do you want me to fix him something this one time and you can pay me 5$ tonight? From now on you must bring even if he says he don't want it now.
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wdmmom 10:47 AM 11-22-2011
A 5 year old is capable of making a choice about a meal ... on a full or empty stomach and the ramifications are almost always going to be polar opposite of what he/she said 3 hours earlier.

Same for my 7 year old. I can tell her to skip breakfast because we'll eat in an hour and for that entire hour she will ask me 45 times if it's lunch time even though she can read.

If your kid just ate a good breakfast and has a full belly, and you ask about lunch, you're going to get the "I can wait." "I'm not hungry." etc. Truth is, he/she will be hungry in 2-4 hours GUARANTEED!

It's no different in school. They eat at the same time each day and they have food placed on their tray for them. It's up to them to eat it but if you are placing food in front of a kid, chances are, he/she will eat. The only difference with school kids is they know it'll be a long time before they get to go home and have a snack.
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Tags:parent - unrealistic expectations, parental responsibility
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