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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Livid!
PitterPatter 02:27 PM 02-21-2012
I am fed up with a certain daycare family! OMG I am so mad I literally can't even talk right! I wish I had someone here I could talk to! I have bent over backwards for this damn DCM for a year! Putting up with her not paying me and guilt trips, her kids bringing literally 3 serious diseases in here in a years time. The last, me having to force her to seek medical attention for her poor kid was so serious and now this!!

I just found out I am losing both kids on Friday!! 2 damn days!!! OMG I can't even type. Today someone had asked me how the student programs and work programs work for subsidy through the DHHS. I don't have any idea I just take care of the kids when I am given a certificate for them by the state. So when DCM came today at pick up I thought I would ask her as she has been in both programs and is in 1 now. I started with how long can a person be on the program and get paid for it. She said it depends on what they are on she has been on works and student and rides them both as long as she can. I said ok well with the program you are on now for example how many years or months do you get to bring the kids to me and be paid for attending the program? She said until Friday.

WHAT??? I shrieked at her! She said "yeah my last day is Friday"
I literally yelled at her! "WHEN was you planning on telling ME?" The B shrugged her shoulders and looked away!!! OMG I am soooo mad beyond mad!! I said "Linda why didn't you tell me, this is my business I depend on the kids for my income!" She shrugged her shoulders again and calmly said "I didn't think about it" REALLY??? I stood there with my jaw on the floor!! The kids are trying to hug me so I had to suck it up and hug them goodbye and not let it worse in front of them. I calmed down and said well what about a job? Can't you get a job? She tells me she was out all day looking for a job and can't even get hired at McDonalds. OK so then she wasn't even at her program today?? She opened the door and said see ya tomorrow and left me standing there like not even a sorry!!!!

They were most of my income!! What now? I am sick just sick!!! I want to slap her in her face for all she has put me through and as much as I have done for her she couldn't even have the decency to give me a 2 week notice? I have put clothes on her kids back and shoes on their feet out of my own pocket! I have let her go and forgiven payments they owed because I felt bad. I have kept her kids beyond closing time many times when she worked so she could work. She couldn't even tell me? I bet I wouldn't have known until pick up Friday or worse Monday morning when they didn't show up.
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Country Kids 02:36 PM 02-21-2012
I'm so, so sorry about this! My heart feels for you, honestly it does. This is the one scary thing about childcare, your income can change in a minute and there is no unemployment for us or anything.

I know what I have to make a month for us to make it-right now. If I didn't have to worry about that I think I would be less stressed and be able to take less children.

I'm sending hugs your way and lots of .
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sharlan 02:38 PM 02-21-2012
Wow! It's a good thing you questioned her about it today.

The bad thing about being self-employed is we have no unemployment benefits.
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Heidi 02:38 PM 02-21-2012
I'm mad along with ya, sister!

So sorry you're going through this. This doesn't happen to be honking in the driveway-kid running amok lady, does it?
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wdmmom 02:42 PM 02-21-2012
If she is in a contract with you, it shouldn't matter if she pays, an agency pays, her baby daddy pays, grandpa pays or the neighbor pays, SHE is the one you have the contract with and SHE has to provide you with appropriate notice.

I'd tell her tomorrow that you need the final 2 weeks worth of wages in lieu of notice since she didn't give you the adequate notice. When she says she doesn't have it (because you know she will), simply reply with, "You didn't care about giving me notice, I don't care where the money comes from. You need have it by pick up today." and leave it at that.
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Heidi 04:20 PM 02-21-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
If she is in a contract with you, it shouldn't matter if she pays, an agency pays, her baby daddy pays, grandpa pays or the neighbor pays, SHE is the one you have the contract with and SHE has to provide you with appropriate notice.

I'd tell her tomorrow that you need the final 2 weeks worth of wages in lieu of notice since she didn't give you the adequate notice. When she says she doesn't have it (because you know she will), simply reply with, "You didn't care about giving me notice, I don't care where the money comes from. You need have it by pick up today." and leave it at that.
Yup!

You can try at least!
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TBird 04:20 PM 02-21-2012
I'D BE PIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSED!!!

Since she 'didn't think about it' make sure she pays you for two weeks (although she probably won't pay you) or take her to small claims court. After you win and you STILL have to hound her for payment, go to her house with the SHERIFF to collect!!! Karma is a Biotch!!!
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cheerfuldom 04:26 PM 02-21-2012
So sorry to hear this OP. I know you have been through a lot lately. This is one of the main reasons I don't take state kids. Unfortunately, a lot of the parents really don't give a darn about this type of thing since they are not paying for it anyway.
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Michael 04:43 PM 02-21-2012
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Wow! It's a good thing you questioned her about it today.
Yeah this ^

At least you got two days notice.
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BBDC 04:50 PM 02-21-2012
I dont take subsidy kids anymore either. My sister inlaw who had been doing daycare for five years before me warned me not to take my first family that were subsidy. I thought well they all cant be bad and gave them a try. They wanted out of there center as there kids werent doing good there. Told me they would pay me out of pocket until I got certified (I was very clear that this would be alot of money that they werent used to paying as there were three kids but mom agreed) guess what they quit the second week! But I still made her pay the two weeks notice which her children didnt even attend those weeks! From then on I learned I dont want to deal with it if I dont have to!
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nannyde 05:43 PM 02-21-2012
First, don't say anything you will regret later. I know this family has been horrible but you have kept them because you need the money. I've read your words over and over for the past year and been stunned by the behavior of the Mom AND most especially the state who allows her to have so much free for doing nothing more than having kids she can't afford.

Remember she is a master at bilking the system. She knows EXACTLY what to do to get free and max it out. She's had a year where she hasn't had to do anything and gotten thousands of dollars of free. She also hasn't had to take care of her kids seven days a week.

She is going to find a way to get free day care. She'll either start a job for a couple of weeks to get the six month voucher or she'll figure out some way to milk this out. You know she's not going to take care of her kids.

So just stay cool and watch her work her magic. She's brilliant at getting what she wants and what she wants is to have nothing to do, have her kids in care, get free everything etc. Taking care of her kids is way harder than the joke "job training" or "school" or "job search" that she's been doing. She's not going to do it and she's going to need care.

Most likely she didn't say anything to you because she has done this before (had the voucher run out) and she's been able to pull off another round. It may mean a couple of weeks for her to do it but she WILL do it. She doesn't care if she has to switch daycare though so just hang on and watch her do what she does so well.
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e.j. 06:37 PM 02-21-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
First, don't say anything you will regret later. I know this family has been horrible but you have kept them because you need the money. I've read your words over and over for the past year and been stunned by the behavior of the Mom AND most especially the state who allows her to have so much free for doing nothing more than having kids she can't afford.

Remember she is a master at bilking the system. She knows EXACTLY what to do to get free and max it out. She's had a year where she hasn't had to do anything and gotten thousands of dollars of free. She also hasn't had to take care of her kids seven days a week.

She is going to find a way to get free day care. She'll either start a job for a couple of weeks to get the six month voucher or she'll figure out some way to milk this out. You know she's not going to take care of her kids.

So just stay cool and watch her work her magic. She's brilliant at getting what she wants and what she wants is to have nothing to do, have her kids in care, get free everything etc. Taking care of her kids is way harder than the joke "job training" or "school" or "job search" that she's been doing. She's not going to do it and she's going to need care.

Most likely she didn't say anything to you because she has done this before (had the voucher run out) and she's been able to pull off another round. It may mean a couple of weeks for her to do it but she WILL do it. She doesn't care if she has to switch daycare though so just hang on and watch her do what she does so well.
Fortunately/unfortunately, this is probably spot on.

I'm so sorry she's treated you the way she has. Talk about adding insult to injury! I hope and pray someone will call you soon (like before Friday!!!) looking for day care so you can be as happy as you should be to finally be rid of this woman.
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PitterPatter 06:56 PM 02-21-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
I'm mad along with ya, sister!

So sorry you're going through this. This doesn't happen to be honking in the driveway-kid running amok lady, does it?
Yes the very same!

I want to say a big thank you to everyone for your support. I am just numb now and trying to keep my mind elsewhere! I just do not understand how people can treat others in such rude ways. I know we all make mistakes but for the love of God when does she stop? I kinda wish she had told me on Friday because I don't even want to see her face right now. Lord help her early ass in the morning because I am at the end of my rope. If that horn honks tomorrow I am gonna rip it out and shove it where the sun doesn't shine! (She hasn't done that lately)

I thought I was making progress by forcing her to accept my policies and respect them. Now she only lingers 20 mins instead of an hour. I don't let her roam my home on her cell, she stands at the door or in the hall. She doesn't use her cell anymore while signing out. She holds the kids hands when they leave. I have really put my foot down so maybe she did this out of spite but my policies are not too much to ask. Respect my home, keep your kids safe, and pay me what you owe that's all I asked. Not too much IMHO. I really cracked down on it all this month!

Thanks again everyone!
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DaycareMommmy 06:58 PM 02-21-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
First, don't say anything you will regret later. I know this family has been horrible but you have kept them because you need the money. I've read your words over and over for the past year and been stunned by the behavior of the Mom AND most especially the state who allows her to have so much free for doing nothing more than having kids she can't afford.

Remember she is a master at bilking the system. She knows EXACTLY what to do to get free and max it out. She's had a year where she hasn't had to do anything and gotten thousands of dollars of free. She also hasn't had to take care of her kids seven days a week.

She is going to find a way to get free day care. She'll either start a job for a couple of weeks to get the six month voucher or she'll figure out some way to milk this out. You know she's not going to take care of her kids.

So just stay cool and watch her work her magic. She's brilliant at getting what she wants and what she wants is to have nothing to do, have her kids in care, get free everything etc. Taking care of her kids is way harder than the joke "job training" or "school" or "job search" that she's been doing. She's not going to do it and she's going to need care.

Most likely she didn't say anything to you because she has done this before (had the voucher run out) and she's been able to pull off another round. It may mean a couple of weeks for her to do it but she WILL do it. She doesn't care if she has to switch daycare though so just hang on and watch her do what she does so well.
So sorry this happened to you. Totally been there and I no longer take vouchers because of it. Some people just know how to work the system. Such a shame.
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Heidi 08:15 PM 02-21-2012
Pitter Patter:

I am crossing my fingers that you will get a call and you will get a couple AWESOME kids with AWESOME parents!
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Michelle 09:12 PM 02-21-2012
I have dealt with stay pay for far too many years!
They really think that you are lucky to have them!
I used to have mostly state pay families and now I only have 1 left and you all remember the stress she put me under a while back.

The cash paying parents bring me gifts, buy me books, write thoughtful cards, and treat me so good.
I never thought I would conveniently not call back a state pay parent looking for care , but I have. It's not worth the stress and paperwork, and worse ...not getting paid for months at a time because of the state budget or parent not turning in a paper.

She probably will get an extension and keep coming to you but you can use this opportunity to make a clean break.
I know it's not easy to get new kids but you can p.m. me and I will tell you all the free websites to advertise on and 99 percent of parents calling you will be cash paying. I'm getting 4-5 calls a day.
Believe me, I have lived it. I have bathed,bought clothes for,payed for dance lessons, given rides, and done crazy overboard stuff for these families and they are never grateful and if you disagree with them or dare say "no" to them.... they just move on to the next provider so their poor kids can be raised by them.
So, don't worry and get busy advertising for your next awesome family that will cherish you.
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Heidi 11:45 AM 02-22-2012
Originally Posted by Michelle:
I have dealt with stay pay for far too many years!
They really think that you are lucky to have them!
I used to have mostly state pay families and now I only have 1 left and you all remember the stress she put me under a while back.

The cash paying parents bring me gifts, buy me books, write thoughtful cards, and treat me so good.
I never thought I would conveniently not call back a state pay parent looking for care , but I have. It's not worth the stress and paperwork, and worse ...not getting paid for months at a time because of the state budget or parent not turning in a paper.

She probably will get an extension and keep coming to you but you can use this opportunity to make a clean break.
I know it's not easy to get new kids but you can p.m. me and I will tell you all the free websites to advertise on and 99 percent of parents calling you will be cash paying. I'm getting 4-5 calls a day.
Believe me, I have lived it. I have bathed,bought clothes for,payed for dance lessons, given rides, and done crazy overboard stuff for these families and they are never grateful and if you disagree with them or dare say "no" to them.... they just move on to the next provider so their poor kids can be raised by them.
So, don't worry and get busy advertising for your next awesome family that will cherish you.
Gee, Michelle, don't be stingy! Now we all want to know. I only no craigslist and care.com, and I've gotten a scam and nothing, respectively.
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PitterPatter 02:20 PM 02-22-2012
That will do for now but we need a googly eyed going crazy icon. Index fiinger up and down the lips kinda thing! dweeber bleeber...
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CheekyChick 02:32 PM 02-22-2012
How INCREDIBLY rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She should have let you know last month so you had time to advertise and fill those spots. After everything you've done for the family - that is the LEAST she could have done for you.

I am so sorry.
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Tags:angry, notice not, vent
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