Hey everyone. Most of my parents I know from either having their older kids in the past or they're a relative or friend of former parents. Anyway, this new mom started almost two months ago. She's very over the top with her dressing. Like five pounds of make up, hair and nails like always done, and very expensive clothes and shoes. Anyway, on Friday she left her Chanel purse on my counter while she dropped off. Many of the other mothers felt mad and told me they feel she's "bragging". I do think maybe she did it to be a show off. As she's tried many times to "show" off to me or like tip me, but I'm not impressed/not going to show favoritism. Since it caused a stir, I was thinking of speaking to her about it. DH says not to. On the other hand, I would speak to someone if say they were dressing too sexy and it bothered the other parents. Would you say something? Especially if other parents were upset?

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I had this mom 4 years ago, however it turned out all her pretty "uppity" stuff was bought thru 2nd hand stores, or trades or yard sales; she wanted to act the part, which was off putting to most of us because that's the type of people she hung with... her priorities never changed even when hubby got arrested - daycare wasn't first priority, her stuff & how her kid was dressed was & she would blame other things/people for her bad luck; came back to bite her in the a** when I confronted one of the people she accused of causing $$ issues. Turns out she lied about a lot of stuff. I would say something , but only because I have a small group that acts like family - none of us are uppity or better than the others lol

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I probably wouldn't say anything. Let is slide off your shoulders and maybe tell dcps to do the same. BUT I'd think about raising her rates. A LOT.

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I would probably be really annoyed by the lady myself lol but I can't imagine saying anything. I don't really understand what you would even say. Do you mean you would tell her not to show off? Maybe I missed some of what you're saying in the post.

It reminds me of when my oldest was a baby. Well, I live in an area that has people with a LOT and people with a little. When I used to go to a parent/child class withy son, there was this group of three moms that all had Louis vuitton diaper bags. They also joined another parenting group I was in, and became volunteers for it, as did I. So, we had a lot of connections at various classes and meetings and they each drove me up the wall. I couldn't help it. I just couldn't stand them because of the ostentatious act. The really irking thing was that if only one of them was around, that one would try to socialize with me (because I was their backup person to talk to if none of their friends were there). Couldn't stand them!

Anyway, I really can't imagine your person really intentionally left her bag there for people to see. That seems kinda nutso! She had to have forgotten it. But then, I always make excuses for nutsos and they usually do turn out to be real nutsos. Haha

Oh and sexy dressing? I wouldn't say anything about that. Unless there was foul language or inappropriate graphics for kids on the clothes?

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Sorry is this really a question? Are people really this judgmental? Who cares....
as long as she is taking care of her child and following all of her rules why does any of that matter.

Sorry. Maybe I'm going to start a war here but sounds like to me all of your daycare parents are haters.

This is just silly.

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Its none of your business or the other families business how she dresses, how she does her makeup, or what purses she carries. None.
If she pays you on time and follows the rules then no. Why are you gossiping about her with the other mothers?

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I agree with Daycare and Unregistered. The whole story just sounds petty to me.

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I know I've already replied but totally agree with the pettiness of it all. If dcm is a good mom, pays you on time, isn't disrespectful(well, you know all the regular stuff a good dcp should do ), then this really shouldn't be an issue. It falls under the saying of 'ya can't please everybody'. We are all different; we should be celebrating our differences, not showing our jealousy because in the end, a fancy handbag and loads of make-up don't mean squat. Now if that's rubbing off on her child, teach the kids as a whole, the things that matter in life.

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Yeah, +100500.
Return the purse and react not to other parents.
Wtf... sorry.
I wear loads of makeup and fancy dresses, why is it anyone's business...

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I was thinking this too.

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Um, yeh this. I think the question is ridiculous.

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Agree.

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This would not bother me at all! I have been known to carry a fancy bag or two

Sounds like everyone is just jealous

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I totally agree.
If one of my dcp's left their purse at my house (though no one has ever carried one in) I would put it away and give them a call.
You almost can't win. If you go out in yoga pants, you're a slob. If you take time and do yourself up, you're putting on airs.

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I know a mom like this. Have known and loved her most her life. We started kindergarten together and have remained in touch.

What others don't know is that she came up through foster care, her belongings carried from house to house in garbage bags. At 18 she was left to fend for herself.

Without a college degree she started her own business and has recently found unexpected success. That success has landed her a new environment with a new group of friends that she is still trying to adjust to. To her, the culture is different and intimidating. Many of her old friends have turned on her; demanding handouts and gossiping about her family out of jealousy.

The recent "plumage displays" are all about her insecurities, inside she is still the same sweet girl I knew simply trying to fit in. I expect this phase will be short lived, she is pretty resilient and awesome that way.

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I don't understand why you would say anything at all. That seems rude and unnecessary.

I don't know brands but when a parent is dressed nicely I compliment them. If another parent made a catty comment about their clothing or personal items I'd just blankly stare at them completely horrified for being so critical.

I'd only care if the CHILD came in regularly with an expensive purse as a "backpack" out of fear that it'd be ruined.

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Agree. That sounds like quite an unusual group of parents.

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I spent last weekend on a retreat with a group of wonderful women. It was an amazing time that was spent lifting each other up and offering support.

If only we could be like that all the time.

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Maybe on the way to your lockers, you and the other junior high girls can find another person you are envious of. Seriously, it's not your job or anyone else's to tell an adult how to wear make up, dress, or what purse to carry.

If I was that mom, I would pull my kids out of your day care. Judge much?

WOW...that is all I have to say!

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what on earth would you say to her??? "Hey dc mom, please do not bring in a purse that costs over $30 it makes the other moms feel bad".

As long as she follows your daycare policies there is NOTHING to talk about here. And honestly if I was her and found out you were discussing me and my wardrobe with other parents I would pull my child out immediately.

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I wouldn't say anything. It's her problem if she needs to show off. It's their problem if they choose to be offended.

I don't see how the situation needs to involve you at all - if they're really that upset they should talk to her themselves. Besides, what could they say that wouldn't make them look dumb?

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Amen sister

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