Back ground:
I've had this family for almost 4 yrs. Since oldest dcb was 2. Younger sib turned 3 after Christmas.
When DCB 1 was around the same age, parents wanted me to stop naps because he wouldn't fall asleep til between 10pm-12am. Tried not napping him, and he still wouldn't go to sleep plus he was miserable with me.
My co-ordinator said to go by our regulations which stipulate:
Each child over eighteen months of age up to and including five years of age that is in attendance for six hours or more in a day has a rest period not exceeding two hours in length following the mid-day meal;
AND/OR
a child under 44 months of age as of August 31 of the year and who is unable to sleep during the rest period is not kept in bed for longer than one hour

So I did, and he napped until the summer before he went to school.

Today:
DCB2 has been spoiled, they give into his every little whine, has had a tv in his room since he was a baby. Of course they are having sleep problems and they tell me they don't nap him on week-ends.
DCB1 and 2 and mom walk in this morning, and DCB1 says "I have to tell you something."
I say "Oh whats that?"
DCB1"You can't put dcb2 down for a nap unless he's tired."
His mom looks at me with a big grin on her face
Who gets their kid to bring this up? I asked him after she left, "Did mommy tell you to tell me this?" he says yes! *sigh* Then he also told me Mommy told dcb2 to hit the another little boy I have back when ever he starts to get aggressive. Granted I want dcb2 to stand up for himself, but he is over a year older then this little guy (Who is lacking in verbal communication) but telling him it's ok to hit back?
I'm not sure if I should bring this part up to her or not. The sleep issue, I'm not going to bring up cuz we've been here before and if she can't talk to me directly about it, I wont either!

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I had something similar happen. Last summer I had a DCM #1 who lives in the same neighborhood as another DCM #2 who has been with us for 8 year (2 DCK back to back), come and tell me that DCM #2 was telling her all about how she needs to cut out 3 yo DCGs naps like she is doing. DCM #1 was concerned that eliminating naps was something that she should be focusing on, and wasn't aware of it.

I told her if DCM #2 is eliminating naps all together, then I would be interested to know what daycare DCG is going to the following year... What in the world was she thinking. She knows that children who have outgrown naps have outgrown our daycare. DCG game back this year, and naps 1.5 hours a day.

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I would tell her "we are adults and I would appreciate it if you talked to me like an adult instead of sending DCB to do your dirty work." I would also tell her she shouldn't tell her younger child that he has the right to hit another child in the daycare for any reason! I am all for kids standing up for themselves (I was bullied as a kid) but children under 5 don't yet understand when certain things are okay and when they are not so if you tell them once it is okay (for any reason) they tend to take that as "if someone makes me mad I can hit them". I would tell her I have a zero tolerance policy (or that you have a strike rule or that simply licensing requires action) when it comes to violence and do not condone it in my daycare and if either DCB hits another child on daycare property they both will be suspended for the rest of the day, on probation, or terminated.

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I don't think I'd say ANYTHING to dcm. SHE hasn't told you not to let dcb nap, so therefor all rules apply as before.

As for the hitting part. I wouldn't say anything to her about that either and the first time dcb hits another child...I'd be calling her so fast it wouldn't be funny. I realize another child will be the victim of the 'hit' but wouldn't it be sweet to push it into mom's face the consequences of when her child hits.

Some parents are so clueless that I think they're the ones who need to be in daycare...

Can you tell I had a rough night??? LOL (Both parents hospitalized). I may come back later and read this and wonder what the heck I was thinking, but for now...I'm just so sick of stupid parents.

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I would have spoken to DCB1 the same way I would have spoken to the Mom (DCB1, licensing requires that I allow all children under the age of 44 months to rest for at least 1 hour and if they are still awake after that hour then I will find another option...etc.) and added and, "Okay, DCB1?" to the end with a big smile. When I say, "Okay, ___?" while nodding my head yes the children always tell me okay.

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I told dcb1 that he has to nap, because they are my boss"s rules, and I could get into a lot of trouble if he doesn't nap. I've told the parents this before, back when dcd didn't want they boys to stop napping at 2 Mom understood a year ago that I have rules to follow, that's probably why she got dcb1 to say something.
Funny thing is, dcb2 ASKED to go for nap 30 mins before he was scheduled to. So I let him
Dcb2 is a good kid. He loves to follow my rules and knows hitting isn't aloud.
Waiting for my coordinator to call me back to make sure she will back me if the need arises.

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That sort of passive aggressive nonsense just burns my bum. Having her child say that is just silly. I would tell Mom...we talked about this before so you know I have to give all of the children rest time every day. And if your child hits another child as you have told him, I will be calling for pickup immediately. No one is allowed to hit here.

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Mom asked me at drop off today, to stop giving DCB naps. Said he's not going to bed until 11pm! Said dad is getting mad at her as well (they are separated) because he doesn't want him to nap either.
(I asked dcb if he napped at daddy's this week-end and he said yes)
Said it's regulations. I will not wake him up if he's falling asleep. He falls a sleep after 5 mins. Said if he doesn't fall asleep during the hour he can get up.
I said I can get into trouble if he's not resting.

She said she is going to call my coordinator. I just hope my coordinator backs me up like she said she would!

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Well surely (hopefully) the coordinator will back you up, being as its a regulation. Napping isn't a reg for me, but is a policy and is strictly enforced, no exceptions. Even kindy here does it. So yes, stick to your guns. But honestly if I had a parent calling a coordinator over something she knew was a reg and a policy, I'd term her. Even if it wasn't a state reg, it's YOUR policy. So all the coordinator could say is, sorry Rees no law but her policy is to be upheld. Etch etc.

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I would absolutely call my registrar and give her a heads up that Mom is going to be calling. I would tell her the background of it, that dcb is asleep in 5 minutes and you would have to force dcb to stay awake during rest time or wake him up, both of which are apparantly against regulations in your state. You aren't comfortable violating regulations to make this dcp happy.

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Oh I called her when all this started happening! And she said oh yes absolutely! And informed me of the regulations, brought the paper over and everything.
I also called her this morning to let her know to be expecting a call.
She's all about "Our providers need a break to prevent burn out, this quiet time is when you guys get your breaks!"

I asked the little guy today, why he isn't sleeping at night, and he gives me a big mischievous grin and says "I wanted to sleep with my and (her) boyfriend!" She told me she was trying to sleep and he kept coming in I wonder who was more upset, her or her boyfriend

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