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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Long Are You Willing To Wipe A Child?
crazydaycarelady 12:00 PM 05-07-2013
Would you do it for a child turning 5 this summer?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:03 PM 05-07-2013
No, I would not. I would only do so if they had special needs. I don't wipe anyone who is fully potty trained. I ASSIST with wiping those that are newly potty trained for a month or two afterwards (at least, I have had to for one of the children here).
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Blackcat31 12:06 PM 05-07-2013
Nope.

Being FULLY trained also means wiping themselves.

Unless there are some unusual circumstances, then I would definitely help them out.
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Play Care 12:08 PM 05-07-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
No, I would not. I would only do so if they had special needs. I don't wipe anyone who is fully potty trained. I ASSIST with wiping those that are newly potty trained for a month or two afterwards (at least, I have had to for one of the children here).


After we have mastered training I tell them I will check their work if needed but they need to wipe themselves. I always tell the parents that the Kindergarten teacher will not go in the bathroom with the kids at all, so they need to matter the skill lest they get a call to come pick up their child due to an "accident"
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SilverSabre25 12:12 PM 05-07-2013
uugghh, I hate this topic. I never needed to wipe my DD after she trained (though I provided flushable wet wipes for a few months) but I have two boys right now, 5 (and heading to kindy in the fall) and 4.25 and both moms insist I have to help them. Well, I happen to not be comfortable with it any more. they're both too old. Sadly, the 5 yo needed talked through the entire process of wiping when I put my foot down a few weeks ago. SERIOUSLY?!
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crazydaycarelady 12:12 PM 05-07-2013
He told me he was done. I told him to finish up and that I would not be wiping him. He walked out of the bathroom dropping poops chunks all over and crying for me to do it.

*sigh*

I just went ahead and did it. This is the boy I have been having so much trouble with. 3 more weeks.

I hate this topic too. I have 2yos who take care of their own business!
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daycarediva 12:14 PM 05-07-2013
Only if it's messy enough to warrant a pickup! nope, nope nope!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:23 PM 05-07-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
uugghh, I hate this topic. I never needed to wipe my DD after she trained (though I provided flushable wet wipes for a few months) but I have two boys right now, 5 (and heading to kindy in the fall) and 4.25 and both moms insist I have to help them. Well, I happen to not be comfortable with it any more. they're both too old. Sadly, the 5 yo needed talked through the entire process of wiping when I put my foot down a few weeks ago. SERIOUSLY?!
I would absolutely not wipe a child over the age of 3.5-4 because that is way beyond my comfort level!
I honestly wouldn't be able to. The farther away from 2 (when I still consider them to be "babies") they get, the less I want to see (not that I want to see/assist with potty duties anyways!) and come into contact with. I don't even come into the bathroom with children who have accidents ages 3.5 and older. I gently assist them through words or holding a bag open for them to place items in OUTSIDE of the bathroom door. I'm big on "privacy" here and private parts remaining behind closed doors.
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daycarediva 12:33 PM 05-07-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I would absolutely not wipe a child over the age of 3.5-4 because that is way beyond my comfort level!
I honestly wouldn't be able to. The farther away from 2 (when I still consider them to be "babies") they get, the less I want to see (not that I want to see/assist with potty duties anyways!) and come into contact with. I don't even come into the bathroom with children who have accidents ages 3.5 and older. I gently assist them through words or holding a bag open for them to place items in OUTSIDE of the bathroom door. I'm big on "privacy" here and private parts remaining behind closed doors.


When did teaching wiping skills come AFTER potty training? With my own kids (and now daycare kids) teaching them to wipe goes hand in hand with using the toilet.

I have a dcb in care right now, he is 3.5 who doesn't wipe AT ALL and has messy BM's. Mom and I have gone round and round on it, but he was never taught to wipe and I don't feel comfortable seeing/having to touch PRIVATE areas on a child that age with no developmental disability. Now I have to stand outside the door, remind him to wipe and talk him through it. He usually ends up in tears over it.

On the other hand, 2yo dcg wipes just fine because as soon as she pooped on the potty, her Mom insisted she wipe herself. The first few weeks, we did a 'check wipe' ( ) after she was done wiping.
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MamaBearCanada 12:43 PM 05-07-2013
Just stopped wiping a child who will be 5 this summer. Thought - what am I doing? Child was capable. Now I think 3.5 at the latest will be my general cut off. Having said that, how firm their BMs are does seem to make a difference in their willingness/success in wiping themselves. Sorry if TMI!

Added - was only doing a 'check' wipe
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Play Care 02:14 PM 05-07-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I would absolutely not wipe a child over the age of 3.5-4 because that is way beyond my comfort level!
I honestly wouldn't be able to. The farther away from 2 (when I still consider them to be "babies") they get, the less I want to see (not that I want to see/assist with potty duties anyways!) and come into contact with. I don't even come into the bathroom with children who have accidents ages 3.5 and older. I gently assist them through words or holding a bag open for them to place items in OUTSIDE of the bathroom door. I'm big on "privacy" here and private parts remaining behind closed doors.
Me either! I worked in a preschool and we were NOT allowed in the bathrooms at all with the children. We had some children who were as young as 2 1/2 because they made the cutoff. There is a good reason why unrelated adults should not be in the bathroom with children once they are old enough to take care of their own business! It's for *everyone's* safety.

If I were the OP I would be having a frank discussion with mom about what needs to happen ASAP.
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williams2008 02:26 PM 05-07-2013
No way! I'm sorry but I won't, as a matter of fact I don't even wipe my 2 year olds that are fully trained.
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Greenplasticwateringcans 02:31 PM 05-07-2013
Originally Posted by williams2008:
No way! I'm sorry but I won't, as a matter of fact I don't even wipe my 2 year olds that are fully trained.
My 6 year son won't poop at school because he can't wipe himself very well. I've shown him over and over and over for years but all he ends up doing is smearing up his back every time :s
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melilley 06:06 PM 05-07-2013
Originally Posted by Greenplasticwateringcans:
My 6 year son won't poop at school because he can't wipe himself very well. I've shown him over and over and over for years but all he ends up doing is smearing up his back every time :s
My daughter was the same way. I don't know if she couldn't reach all the way or what, but finally around the age of 6 or 7 she started doing it right. Although, she still won't do it at school and she's 10! I think she gets embarrassed.
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luv2teach 07:40 PM 05-07-2013
No, I would not. Unless the child had special needs. I have three year olds right now and I do not wipe them. I do have wet wipes if they need them, as some feel more comfortable using a wet wipe.
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AmyKidsCo 07:50 PM 05-07-2013
Once they've progressed to the point that they're going all by themselves I'm out of the picture. Even when they're learning I have them wipe themselves, but I supervise and help if needed. Just like everything else, they won't learn if they don't practice.
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Cradle2crayons 08:35 PM 05-07-2013
I had a problem related to this last week. My sibling group contains a girl who will turn four next week. I've had them both for about four months. At interview, I specifically asked mom if she was independently able to potty and she said yes, she does everything all by herself. The first few weeks I did a quick check just to be sure and all has been great this whole time until last week. Mom doesn't bathe the kids often enough and the next morning she noticed that the girl had removed her panties during the night and replaced them and mom noticed a streak of bm about the size of a dime on the panties.

So she calls me up pitching a fit saying that a child her age (almost four) can't effectively wipe themselves. I explained that not only did I not agree with that, but that apparently the girl could do it because for four months all had been well.

I reminded her about the potty talk in our interview and how mom stated the girl was "completely independent" which means just that. She says " oh well I thought you were going to help her wipe"

Anyway, it turns out mom was really only mad because I charged her a late pay fee and she incorrectly assumed that complaining would excuse that.

Keep in mind this mom drops off the kids in undies and a t shirt half the time (which doesn't bother me much) with their hair not combed and I know for a fact the kids don't get bathed enough orate east as much as they should anyway.

In the end, to answer your post, heck no you shouldn't wipe a child that age. I think it's just another case of a parent wanting you to raise her child and teach them how to wipe and or do it for them so that SHE won't have to deal with it.
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Play Care 02:57 AM 05-08-2013
Originally Posted by Greenplasticwateringcans:
My 6 year son won't poop at school because he can't wipe himself very well. I've shown him over and over and over for years but all he ends up doing is smearing up his back every time :s
Do you have any of those flushable wet wipes? I know it's an added expense, but my own kids use them and do well with them. Neither of my kids will go at school because the school doesn't have wet wipes (and according to my one child the school t.p.feels like sandpaper! ) They are still young so I assume that they don't wipe the greatest and have them take a quick shower/bath each night for a soap down.
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coolconfidentme 03:48 AM 05-08-2013
I had a parent say they need help teaching son to wipe himself before he starts school in the fall. I told her we mastered that the first week he came here. (5 months ago) She was amazed cause he still begs to be wiped at home.
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canadiancare 04:21 AM 05-08-2013
I teach them how to wipe as part of toilet training and then they are on their own unless it is exceptional circumstances and I don't want feces all over my bathroom.

I explain to any parents who might complain about skid marks that the teacher won't wipe them in school so they need to learn how themselves.
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