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  #1  
Old 10-29-2010, 01:59 PM
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busymomof2 busymomof2 is offline
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Default Need to Terminate ASAP

I gave 2 weeks notice on my 2yo dcg. She hits, slaps, pulls hair plus her mom is ALWAYS late in pick up and payment...only had her for slightly over a month. The last straw was when she and my 4yo daughter got into a fight. MY daughter NEVER hits anyone but I saw with my own eyes she and the dcg hit eachother back several times. So I gave notice last Friday telling mom that she needed some where she can play with children her own age. The very next day the dcg pulled my 8month old son's hair. She continues to hit, slap and pull hair EVERYDAY. Today during the Halloween party I left the room (I don't have an asst) to make lunch came back and she was hitting my 8 month old AGAIN!!!! I just can't take it. I am worried for his safety. Has anyone had to terminate that day? She still has one week left on her notice. I told her I would forfeit the last week pay notice if she could find someone but she hasn't. I feel bad but I need her gone. My contract does specify "reserve the right to terminate contract WITHOUT notice in case of destructive , uncontrollable. or violent behavior ..). I just feel bad.
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  #2  
Old 10-29-2010, 02:03 PM
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Michael Michael is online now
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If you need a term letter there are some good ones in old threads: http://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.ph...ination+letter
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  #3  
Old 10-29-2010, 02:05 PM
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You can feel bad all you want, but if the dcg is acting badly enough that you want to term and contract gives you the loop hole to do so, then just do it! (My tone is humorous, NOT mean.) I always feel bad too, but sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do to keep the peace! (and your sanity)
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Old 10-29-2010, 02:13 PM
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Thanks blackcat31. You always have good advice and it reminds me to just stick to my guns and DO IT. I need that!! Sometimes I forget that although I work for them this is MY business and I make the rules. Plus the whole reason I started this dc was to make a little money while caring for MY kids. My son is only 8 months and can't protect himself. Thanks I will let her know today. She owes me for a couple of late pick ups but I will forfeit that in second as long as I can be rid of that problem.
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Old 10-29-2010, 02:15 PM
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If you can't separate her from the rest (i.e. having her help you in the kitchen, etc) I would take advantage of the term without notice clause in your contract. At least it being Friday she has the weekend to find new care vs in the middle of the week.
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  #6  
Old 10-29-2010, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof2 View Post
Thanks blackcat31. You always have good advice and it reminds me to just stick to my guns and DO IT. I need that!! Sometimes I forget that although I work for them this is MY business and I make the rules. Plus the whole reason I started this dc was to make a little money while caring for MY kids. My son is only 8 months and can't protect himself. Thanks I will let her know today. She owes me for a couple of late pick ups but I will forfeit that in second as long as I can be rid of that problem.
No problem...I am just sooo past feeling bad for my rules this week. It has been one of those weeks where I can't please everyone so I am aiming to just please myself!! (My hubby would say..that sounds kind of hinky huh? LOL!!!) I think most of us went into the business so we could reap the benefits not the headaches! I think we all need a little wind beneath our wings so we can stand by our policies and not feel bad, so when you tell this dcm what ya gotta say, do it like you know you have other ppl backing you.(Cuz ya do)....it'll make it easier! Have a great weekend!!
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Old 10-29-2010, 02:25 PM
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If you have it in your contract that you can terminate at will due to desctructive behavior then I would deffinetely go for it. I know you may feel bad or may want to avoid confrontation but that is your 8mo that being hurt.

If you absolutely don't want to terminate immediately you can try to shadow the DCG and take her with you wherever you go so that you can monitor her until she leaves. If she says no, tries to go around you, throws fits etc. call her mom while she is doing it without telling DCG and explain what is happening to mom and then let DCM know that the next outburst/hitting etc. she will be getting a call to pick her child up.

I am one of those that would rather work with a child rather than to pass the buck onto another provider but sometimes when you've tried everything and you think you're going to go insane it's just better to cut your losses.
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  #8  
Old 10-29-2010, 03:00 PM
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term her you will fill so much better after! i had to do it once too it was a Thursday of her 2nd week. i was terming because of hitting ect. just like you. dcg kicked my son in the nose with her shoes! and it bleed i called parents told them to pick her up and she couldn't come back i have to protect every one in my care. i felt bad at the time but i have never ever regretted doing it.
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Old 10-29-2010, 06:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof2 View Post
I gave 2 weeks notice on my 2yo dcg. She hits, slaps, pulls hair plus her mom is ALWAYS late in pick up and payment...only had her for slightly over a month. The last straw was when she and my 4yo daughter got into a fight. MY daughter NEVER hits anyone but I saw with my own eyes she and the dcg hit eachother back several times. So I gave notice last Friday telling mom that she needed some where she can play with children her own age. The very next day the dcg pulled my 8month old son's hair. She continues to hit, slap and pull hair EVERYDAY. Today during the Halloween party I left the room (I don't have an asst) to make lunch came back and she was hitting my 8 month old AGAIN!!!! I just can't take it. I am worried for his safety. Has anyone had to terminate that day? She still has one week left on her notice. I told her I would forfeit the last week pay notice if she could find someone but she hasn't. I feel bad but I need her gone. My contract does specify "reserve the right to terminate contract WITHOUT notice in case of destructive , uncontrollable. or violent behavior ..). I just feel bad.

Terminate her care immediately and don't give a second thought to it. You CAN have a zero tolerance policy for violence in your home. You do not EVER have to keep children who are violent. You don't have to "work" with them. You don't have to give notice. You have NO obligation whatsoever to the child or to the parents.

Be very firm and clear with the Mom that you are not keeping the child because she is violent. It's very very very important to give the life experience to the parent that you will not tolerate children who are violent so that possibly the parents will BEGIN to realize that their child needs serious, intensive, daily discipline to get her out of control behavior under control.

We are seeing WAY too much violence in very young children. It's not normal. It's not acceptable. If children are raised properly they are not violent. Violence in young children is a product of poor parenting and very poor discipline. Society doesn't have to tolerate it... and you are the child's "society".

Take a stand and say NO to childhood violence. Be the first person in the parents life who says "today is the day that you will deal with this". One by one providers need to start laying the law down with this generation of parents. We need to encourage each other to have the guts to stand up to this current trend in child rearing and say we simply will not have it. When these parents get termination after termination and it affects THEIR ability to work and support THEIR family then... maybe there will be a shift in our society to recognize that we have allowed this to go way way too far.

Protect your kids. Protect your happiness. It's not worth it. Let her go today and don't look back.
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  #10  
Old 10-29-2010, 07:36 PM
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Very well said. I was talking to my husband about the dcg. When the other kids have hit her back she doesn't cry or look upset. When I discipline her she doesn't cry or get upset. I think there might be something going on at home. Some one (parent, sibling, relative, etc) might be hitting her, allowing her to hit others or is role modeling that poor behavior that's why it's not a big deal to her. The other dck and my dks, if I discipline them they cry or look sad...if someone says something mean or of they get hurt they cry their eyes out because they are not use it.

Update: BM did not pick up dcg...sister did. I just gave her the termination letter in writing, gave her all her belongings and told her to make sure mom got the letter. We will see if mom calls or comes by. I doubt it...she seems to avoid confrontation and what really can she say...her dd hit my 8mo. I just feel like a big weight has been lifted....AMEN!!!!!!!!

Last edited by busymomof2; 10-29-2010 at 07:38 PM. Reason: spelling errors
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Old 10-29-2010, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by busymomof2 View Post
Very well said. I was talking to my husband about the dcg. When the other kids have hit her back she doesn't cry or look upset. When I discipline her she doesn't cry or get upset. I think there might be something going on at home. Some one (parent, sibling, relative, etc) might be hitting her, allowing her to hit others or is role modeling that poor behavior that's why it's not a big deal to her. The other dck and my dks, if I discipline them they cry or look sad...if someone says something mean or of they get hurt they cry their eyes out because they are not use it.

Update: BM did not pick up dcg...sister did. I just gave her the termination letter in writing, gave her all her belongings and told her to make sure mom got the letter. We will see if mom calls or comes by. I doubt it...she seems to avoid confrontation and what really can she say...her dd hit my 8mo. I just feel like a big weight has been lifted....AMEN!!!!!!!!
Congrats on getting that term over with today! I know you will feel better come Monday when you don't have to worry about your 8mo old. YAY!!!! I understand that feeling when you know someone is hitting them when they don't have much reaction to being disciplined...I posted about that yesterday, too....and still don't know what to do. I'm afraid this dck will become like the one you just term'd although dck hasn't been really physical with the other kids...yet. Oy. Anyway congrats!!!!!!!
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  #12  
Old 10-30-2010, 04:52 AM
DancingQueen DancingQueen is offline
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Yesterday was the last day of the 2 week notice for the little boy I termed.
a HUGE weight has been lifted.
I am SOOOOO RELIEVED!!!!!
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