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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Diapers Not In Her Budget?!!!??
busymomof2 12:29 PM 07-17-2012
I have this dcb that is potty training along with my son. My policy is that the parents bring a bag of diapers/pull ups and wipes and refill as needed. I reminded her all last week that I need more pull ups. When she arrives on Monday she tells me "btw I didn't forget about the pull ups but diapers are just not in my budget this week". WHAT THE HELL!!!! Not in my budget!!! At first I didn't know how to take it. Now the more I think about it the more pissed off I get. Supplying her child with pull ups is not in MY budget either. What am I suppose to do? I can't have him with no diaper but I feel like she is taking advantage of me. I also don't want to enable her behavior by supplying the diapers. BTW she never even gave me wipes for her kid. So mad!!!
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youretooloud 12:31 PM 07-17-2012
I would just tell her he's no longer potty training, as it isn't going well right now. Then she needs to remove something else from her budget to supply diapers.
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Blackcat31 12:33 PM 07-17-2012
Do NOT accept him into care until he has ALL the supplies he needs. I don't care what her budget is.....

I have been there done that with a parent who tried to use the same excuse. Sorry but I can't afford to clean my carpets so until the child has the necessary supplies he gets no care.

Stand your ground Hun! You can do it!
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youretooloud 12:33 PM 07-17-2012
OOOOOORRRRRRR.... LMBO!!!!! You could fill him up with drinks right before he has to leave, remove his diaper just before mom gets there, and say "buh-bye!" before she can ask you for a pullup for the ride home. Let her figure it out.
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SilverSabre25 12:36 PM 07-17-2012
Yeah...that's just....yeah...

Some people
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Meyou 12:38 PM 07-17-2012
I would have sent him back home with her. I bet she would have found it in her budget then.
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Truly Scrumptious 12:40 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Do NOT accept him into care until he has ALL the supplies he needs. I don't care what her budget is.....

I have been there done that with a parent who tried to use the same excuse. Sorry but I can't afford to clean my carpets so until the child has the necessary supplies he gets no care.

Stand your ground Hun! You can do it!
Ditto for me!!!
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GotKids 12:48 PM 07-17-2012
this is why I supply them. I would rather have slightly higher rates than deal with parents forgetting or not budgeting properly. Plus I don't have to deal with crappy leaky diapers parents use just for daycare. Consider possibly raising her rates and covering them. It might make her rethink her budget
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littlemissmuffet 12:59 PM 07-17-2012
She has 2 choices:

She can $3 more per day / $15 more per week and you will supply them.

OR, she can find a new daycare.

I would have sent the DCK right back home. I don't have time or energy to beg and fight for supplies - if you don't bring what supplies I request, don't bother bringing your kid either.
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youretooloud 03:17 PM 07-17-2012
Honestly though...is this worth terming, or possibly having them leave? I'd be mad, but I'd take the situation into my own hands. For $5 you can buy an inexpensive pack of diapers at Walmart or Target, and just absorb the cost for now, then send him home without a diaper until she either sends him with diapers, or sends him with waterproof skivvies while he's potty training.

I don't have carpet..so, I don't mind if they wet their pants. But, I do put on thick pants for a while until I think they are reliable. If I had carpet, I wouldn't be doing that though.
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Blackcat31 03:39 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Honestly though...is this worth terming, or possibly having them leave? I'd be mad, but I'd take the situation into my own hands. For $5 you can buy an inexpensive pack of diapers at Walmart or Target, and just absorb the cost for now, then send him home without a diaper until she either sends him with diapers, or sends him with waterproof skivvies while he's potty training.

I don't have carpet..so, I don't mind if they wet their pants. But, I do put on thick pants for a while until I think they are reliable. If I had carpet, I wouldn't be doing that though.
It would absolutely be worth terming for me....if a parent thinks they can simply pass off their problems to me without a thought or even an idea for some kind of solution then I wouldn't want to deal with that kind if parent.

From the sound of the OP's post it doesn't sound like the mom felt bad or acted as though it was her (the mom) issue at all and to me that is the kind of disrespect that would be worth terming for.
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momma2girls 03:45 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Do NOT accept him into care until he has ALL the supplies he needs. I don't care what her budget is.....

I have been there done that with a parent who tried to use the same excuse. Sorry but I can't afford to clean my carpets so until the child has the necessary supplies he gets no care.

Stand your ground Hun! You can do it!
I agree!! Stand your ground!!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 04:25 PM 07-17-2012
I would have asked her, "What is your solution for this problem then, because I need diapers?"
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Former Teacher 04:31 PM 07-17-2012
She should have thought about diapers before she opened her legs.

I would absolutely NOT accept this child into care. As it was suggested before, I would NOT buy diapers or anything else that is the parents responsibility.

Give them an inch, they will take a yard.
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littlemissmuffet 04:39 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Honestly though...is this worth terming, or possibly having them leave? I'd be mad, but I'd take the situation into my own hands. For $5 you can buy an inexpensive pack of diapers at Walmart or Target, and just absorb the cost for now, then send him home without a diaper until she either sends him with diapers, or sends him with waterproof skivvies while he's potty training.

I don't have carpet..so, I don't mind if they wet their pants. But, I do put on thick pants for a while until I think they are reliable. If I had carpet, I wouldn't be doing that though.
Yes, of course it is. Who does this woman think she is dropping HER child off without the needed supplies and just shrugging it off like it doesn't matter? I have no idea how so many women on this board can let other adults treat them so rudely and disrespectfully. These children are ultimately the responsibility of their parents, not US.
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Unregistered 04:56 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
She should have thought about diapers before she opened her legs.

I would absolutely NOT accept this child into care. As it was suggested before, I would NOT buy diapers or anything else that is the parents responsibility.

Give them an inch, they will take a yard.
Wow
1st sentence is unnessasarily harsh.
Those kinds of comment colour all providers with the same brush. Perhaps you should think about your wording.
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busymomof2 05:02 PM 07-17-2012
Thanks guys. I'm gonna talk to mom today. I can't afford to term him plus he's such a well behaved child and my son loves playing with him. For this week I am gonna put my sons diapers on him while in dc but send him home without one. I hope he poops and pees on the way home. LOL. But if I don't get the supplys on Monday that's it. I will give her the option of paying more or terming him. I'm so glad I got somewhere to vent and get advice from people who understand. Thanks ladies! I will keep you updated.
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Michael 05:08 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow
1st sentence is unnessasarily harsh.
Those kinds of comment colour all providers with the same brush. Perhaps you should think about your wording.
hmmm, maybe? "She should have thought about diapers before she opened herself up to parenthood."
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BumbleBee 05:12 PM 07-17-2012
"Oh my gosh, I completely understand! Diapers are SOOO expensive these days. Sometimes we all have to make sacrifices, even for the basics! Because you cannot afford diapers this week, I will GLADLY have the carpet cleaning bill sent to you."

In all seriousness, I would either

1. tell her that you cannot accept her child into care until he has all of the necessary supplies and make a list of what he needs.

2. Let her know that you will provide diapers at $2 per diaper

Personally, I would go with #1.
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littlemissmuffet 05:20 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by busymomof2:
Thanks guys. I'm gonna talk to mom today. I can't afford to term him plus he's such a well behaved child and my son loves playing with him. For this week I am gonna put my sons diapers on him while in dc but send him home without one. I hope he poops and pees on the way home. LOL. But if I don't get the supplys on Monday that's it. I will give her the option of paying more or terming him. I'm so glad I got somewhere to vent and get advice from people who understand. Thanks ladies! I will keep you updated.
I don't want to be rude, but I suggest you start looking for a replacement today. You can't possibly think that next week will be any different. You are not only letting her get away with being disrespectful to you, but you are supplying her child with diapers and wipes from your own pocket... don't be suprised when the payday rolls around where the money she owes you "isn't in the budget".
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Former Teacher 05:23 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow
1st sentence is unnessasarily harsh.
Those kinds of comment colour all providers with the same brush. Perhaps you should think about your wording.
Perhaps you read it wrong. It is coloring me and not "coloring all the providers with the same brush".

I am frustered with people who can't take care of their children. Why have even have them? Oh I know...it's because there are people like myself and fellow taxpapers that provide for them.

Originally Posted by Michael:
hmmm, maybe? "She should have thought about diapers before she opened herself up to parenthood."

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youretooloud 06:27 PM 07-17-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Yes, of course it is. Who does this woman think she is dropping HER child off without the needed supplies and just shrugging it off like it doesn't matter? .
Well, that is good for YOU, but not all of us can term a full time child over a $5 pack of diapers. I didn't say she shouldn't be passive aggressive about it. But, perhaps she can't let a full time child go over this. Not everybody's reality is the same.
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DaisyMamma 06:45 PM 07-17-2012
Insane. I would have turned him away or offered to supply diapers at $1 each until he can bring his own.
And I cannot afford to lose a full time kid, but that's not the point.
You give an inch and they take a mile. Do you think he will show up with diapers ever again if you supply them free for even one day? No way!

He either needs to be fully potty trained or wearing pullups. Period. no ifs, ands or buts about it.
It is not the provider's responsibility to supply diapers unless they add it into their cost of tuition.

You can also easily tell DCM that your tuition went up by $10/week effective immediately and includes the cost of diapers. This week's $10 is due no later than drop off next Monday.

Good luck
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Nickel 09:52 PM 07-17-2012
When my daughter went to daycare i completely.forgot.to get diapers and they called me anhr after drop off and said you either need to bring diapers or come get your child. You better believe i went to the store right then and there. Lol. I think she was incredibly rude. I mean its not like she seriously asked you for help because she was struggling. I have plenty of things that arent in the budget but that i could still afford. I dont have much advice, but that mom is something else!
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DBug 04:55 AM 07-18-2012
My response would be: "No problem! I'll use my spares on him til you bring new ones. Then I'll just replace the spares I've used with the ones you bring."

If I didn't have spares: "No problem! I'll buy a pack and just add it to this week's (or next week's) bill."

On the other hand, if this dcm's attitude was an ongoing issue, I'd send the child home .
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Blackcat31 07:31 AM 07-18-2012
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
Well, that is good for YOU, but not all of us can term a full time child over a $5 pack of diapers. I didn't say she shouldn't be passive aggressive about it. But, perhaps she can't let a full time child go over this. Not everybody's reality is the same.
I agree that losing a full time child is financially hard but that is why so many providers are burnt out or are in the situations they are in. They allow parents to hold them financially hostage and get away with all sorts of things that shouldn't be happening. The bigger picture here is the lack of care or concern for the provider from this parent. The parent obviously feels her child's basic needs can be tossed off to another human being and that is simply wrong!

By being afraid to term this type of parent simply because of money says that we are basically condoning or enabling this kind of behavior and by doing that, things will never get any better. First it will be diapers, then food and then basically raising the child and taking care of ALL aspects of the basic health and development of this child while mom gets to reap the benefits of someone's else hard work. NOT cool!

No matter how much money she gets paid for this child, I am sure her self-worth and self-respect are worth far more!


I will have a bake sale, a garage sale, give blood/plasma or take on a part time job at home stuffing envelopes in the evening before I would ever allow a parent to dump their parenting duties on me....

I have said it before and will say it again, My time, my sanity and my personal self worth are more valuable to me than keeping clients who think they can treat me like dirt.
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Sprouts 10:39 AM 07-18-2012
So is there something, as providers can have in their contract so it can basically be thrown in their face. People like this make our contracts and policies 14 pages!!!!
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Kaddidle Care 11:22 AM 07-18-2012
Originally Posted by busymomof2:
"btw I didn't forget about the pull ups but diapers are just not in my budget this week".
You missed your opportunity to say "and at $3.00 an hour (or whatever you are getting paid) you think it's in mine?

Do keep record of your supplies used and bill her for them or send him home tomorrow if she doesn't have the diapers/pull ups.

Her lack of respect for you and your home is abominable. It's not her house so she doesn't care if it gets peed all over. GRRRR!
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KEG123 01:39 PM 07-18-2012
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I would have sent him back home with her. I bet she would have found it in her budget then.
This. I'd have said, "Sorry but we are completely OUT of pullups here, and I just cannot have him here without them. Children need to be completely accident free for 2 weeks IN PULLUPS before I will let dcb be here with only underwear."
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dave4him 04:26 PM 07-18-2012
One of my parents handed me a small bag of diapers and said "thats all till i get paid." im thinking... is she okay with her child not getting changed then?
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DaisyMamma 06:29 PM 07-18-2012
Originally Posted by dave4him:
One of my parents handed me a small bag of diapers and said "thats all till i get paid." im thinking... is she okay with her child not getting changed then?
What did you do?
Are these people serious?

Originally Posted by Sprouts:
People like this make our contracts and policies 14 pages!!!!
My policies get longer and longer each year
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dave4him 08:25 AM 07-19-2012
Just reminded the kids uncle when he was picked up that we needed more diapers
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