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  #1  
Old 11-29-2018, 03:26 AM
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Exclamation Immediate Termination Stories

For what reasons have you immediately terminated a child/family?
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Old 11-29-2018, 03:43 AM
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For what reasons have you immediately terminated a child/family?
We had a teachers strike last year. It went on for 9 days and caused a lot of issues with parents finding childcare etc.. Our schools operate before and after programs. These were not able to be utilized since no one could cross the picket lines.
I had a few families of siblings that were paying upwards 100 a day per kid for childcare during the strike.
Anyways I had teachers kids that still insisted on sending their children. I had one day I would be over with my assistant's children and told all the teacher families to stay home and I would credit them the day. I had one show up day after screaming at me how she pays for a spot and expects it no matter what. Most of the teachers weren't actually standing out in the cold with picket signs. This mom literally could not stand being with her two small kids.(Off on her son's bday was here until pick up time on the dot, kids went to bed at 5pm picked up at 3pm,3 year old didnt eat right and talk seemed behind or autistic parents couldnt care less etc..) The way she talked to me was it. I termed that day. The funny thing is she struggled to find care for her kids cause they were a handful and she ended up moving back to another state after that school year. Her temper tantrum to stand up for teachers rights was bs.
I look at all teachers differently now because of her. Now im cautious as they all seem entitled now.
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Old 11-29-2018, 03:48 AM
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The one case that I remember was a dcf with 3 brothers, ages 5, 7 and 9. I got along great with the 7 yo. The 9 yo was terribly disrespectful and the 5 yo refused to do anything, would poop his pants, and called me an effin bit@h. The effin bit@h was the absolute last straw and I called grandma immediately for pick-up. But there had been a whole lot of issues before that, especially with dcm. Paperwork never got handed in, terrible lack of communication, these boys were on Saturdays and all I got were complaints from the 2 difficult brothers. I used to bring them all kinds of places and ended up wondering why I was working so damn hard at it all and ruining my weekends to boot. One day I sent dcm and the boys all home due to dcm not bringing paperwork, AGAIN, for the umpteenth time. Boy, was she mad. Like it was all my fault.
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Old 11-29-2018, 04:31 AM
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1. Family of Breast Fed baby not allowing me to feed them.
2. Refusing to keep immunizations current.
3. Non-payment
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Old 11-29-2018, 04:33 AM
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I was watching my friends kids and she is a total spaz and I knew it and watched them anyway. She never knew what days or times they were coming, never knew whether she or her ex was picking up or at what time (which was often way past closing) and never paid on time and then would dispute that I overcharged her after going weeks without paying me. One day I was expecting them to come and told another family they could not come that day because I would not have room for them. She then called me an hour after they were supposed to be here saying grandma was watching them instead. I told her right there not bother coming back then. One of the only times I have ever had a backbone.
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Old 11-29-2018, 05:17 AM
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  • "Psycho" DCM spun circles in my front lawn with her vehicle when told no on a special request for extended hours and refusing to pay her co-pays.
  • "My child" DCM threw a physical tantrum, hitting walls/slamming doors (19 over the top emails, too) when told her 7yo child could not hit kids when they got on his nerves even though she told him he could. That the simple fact was her child was the one getting on everyone's else's nerves.
  • SA boy 11 spray painted on my neighbors shed then threatened to "blow your head off with my dad's shotgun" when caught. "Disney" DCD went with "he was framed by bullies from the bus stop" even when handed the can from his kids bookbag.

There are a few less dramatic ones, mostly payment or "dope and drop" issues, but these stand out to me off the top of my head. These are also why I no longer take school agers or subsidy clients.
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Old 11-29-2018, 05:27 AM
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Once for child's behavior- DCB3 threw a wooden block at a toddler's head for not moving out of his way. Then threw the whole basket of blocks at me when I stopped him from throwing another one.

Couple times for adult's (using that term loosely) behavior. One that pops into mind was child who made it one day. I reminded DCM that payment was due when she came on first day with all the paperwork including the contract explaining payment schedule. She said that her mom would handle it. Grandma came in at pickup and went off. Among other things I got a "you work for me" (DCM was only one on paperwork) and "who do you think you are?". Needless to say that was the last time in my house for any of them. I know they burned through at least half a dozen daycares in less than a year.
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Old 11-29-2018, 06:05 AM
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There are very few reasons a child/family is terminated immediately but I can definitely think of only a couple instances in which I've had to do it.

Personal safety as well as the safety of the other children/families in care trumps all else.
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Old 11-29-2018, 06:53 AM
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I termed a long standing family (3 years) because they took advantage of me. No matter how many times issues were discussed they would always break the rules. Constantly brought in sick kids. Would "forget" to pay me. The icing on the cake was when they assumed I would just switch my hours and days for them without even asking me. I to this day cannot get over parents. All my current parents are annoying af.
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Old 11-29-2018, 07:10 AM
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I've only termed immediately twice - once because a child was throwing toys (he threw a Thomas the Tank engine toy through my window) and the second time because a DCD yelled at me in front of all the kids when he had to pick up early for illness. Both were let go at pick up that day!
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Old 11-29-2018, 07:31 AM
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I termed a long standing family (3 years) because they took advantage of me. No matter how many times issues were discussed they would always break the rules. Constantly brought in sick kids. Would "forget" to pay me. The icing on the cake was when they assumed I would just switch my hours and days for them without even asking me. I to this day cannot get over parents. All my current parents are annoying af.
Mine are too! Theyíre bringing kids with food/drinks, no shoes, wearing pajamas, arguing over me taking them outside to play (itís not too cold, ugh), their definition of fever is different from mine, etc etc etc. I feel like every day I have to tell a parent they canít do something and itís all stuff they know already! I get on the freakin parents waaaaay more than the kids these days. Fortunately I havenít had any crazy termination scenarios yet!
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Old 11-29-2018, 07:43 AM
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My most memorable - my dd (11) accidently got a couple drops of water on dcb's (12) jacket. He slapped her really hard across the face. She still had a handprint when the parents got there.

Bye, never saw him again.
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Old 11-29-2018, 07:51 AM
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I have only had to term immediately one time and that’s due to a family lying to me about a child’s disability. He was either on the spectrum or had severe developemental delays was very aggressive towards the other children in my care. Body slammed his 2 year old brother, kicked my walls because I told him no, kicked and threw punches at me because he got mad over sharing toys, intentionally get in my infants face and scare her on purpose. They lasted 3 days which was 2 days and several hrs too long. I still have the youngest brother and to this day mom says that he will grow out of it. School is constantly calling for pickup because he’s hurting the other children but he can not be reprimanded due to his IEP.
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Old 11-29-2018, 08:40 AM
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Over only got one, but from my center days way before I had my own daycare or own kids.

We were already down to about 1/2 the kids cause it was Christmas break, a lot of our parents were university students. We had one baby that day and a couple 12-18 months. The rest were our toddlers (18-3years) and preschools (3-5). So we had mixed up rooms so the owner could pay less staff.
The boy in question was 4 he started throwing toys we asked him to stop, and he would not. Aimed a big wood block at baby and threw it before we could stop him. Thankfully it missed. The child only got worse as we tried to stop him, eventually he was separated from the other kids, put in own room. (Our breaks were held off so we could have staff to do this. Parents were called for pickup. Meanwhile he took apart the room he was in I mean he took every toy off shelves, even tore books. I switched rooms with the staff member that was in there and was able to get him to sit and stop destroying things. But then grams gets there and offers to take him to McDonalds to play and eat cause you know he was hungry. That day we made it very clear to the owner that we would no longer take care of him. We also made sure to point out the damage he did and what could have happened. I dont know how bad his fits were cause I only subbed in his room sometimes, but he had problems before just nothing like this.
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Old 11-29-2018, 08:45 AM
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1st grader, angery with the state of affairs, pissed all over my bathroom on purpose.

5 year old laughed at me and called me a bitch when I put him in time out for aggressive behavior.

8 year old with autism bruised me horribly trying to get to a crying baby.
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Old 11-29-2018, 11:11 AM
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I've had two - both behavior issues.

One was about 4 years ago. He was clearly on the spectrum but parents were older and in denial. He bit, hit and kicked, threw objects, screamed about things that were literally only happening in his mind. Hid from me, destroyed classrooms - like pulled down shelves. The day before he left, he climbed on a shelf and scratched his arm, but accused another teacher of "hitting him". The mark could not have come from hitting anyway, but I put my foot down and said I would no longer care for him if one top of everything else, he was going to start accusing us of harming him.

The other was child was similar: violent, refused to follow directions and acting out sexually as well. He got a group of girls together in a corner to show them his penis. We called for immediate pickup. He also had a balance of over $1400 (don't know why it was allowed to get that high). His mom tried to drop him off super early the next morning to try skip out on her payment and avoid talking about the penis incident. When the director came in and found him signed in, she called mom and termed on the spot.
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Old 11-29-2018, 11:28 AM
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my worst termination came with the dcm that would not allow me to feed dcb11months. Things just escalated one day and I had her things ready when she arrived to pickup. She immediately tried to lay on my shoulder and cried and I backed away. She then sat on the bench and saying she wasn't leaving until I told her the child could stay here. After several minutes, I took the child to the car and placed him in the carseat, she was yelling at me from the car as I came back in side pleading with me to keep her kid.

Then there was the lady that received state pay: She knew up front she would have to pay what the state didn't pay. Well, before Christmas break she went to the state office whining about it and the state office called telling me how cruel I was. When she arrived at pickup, I handed her a term letter and sent one to the state office, too....never will I take a state child again, because of the department, not the kids.
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Old 11-29-2018, 01:11 PM
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I am not sure this qualifies because it was right after my trial period where I let parents know if I will be continuing care or not but I termed a child who was 2 yrs old who could only say 1 word ďmommaĒ, had very clear developmental delays and mom was in deep denial and lied about seeing an SLP. Turns out the child was deaf

Another child never made it through my trial period for agression, she purposefully stepped on another childs ankle, and constant screaming throughout nap and outdoor time. She lasted a week and a half. The mom was nutters as well!
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Old 11-29-2018, 01:29 PM
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-I was providing care from a family's house and they left drug paraphernalia on the coffee table.
-3yo whose foster family lied about behavior that got care terminated at a previous care center. Child could not cope with adult attention directed at other children; would not allow other children to play; flipped all the activities off of the table and threw a chair at me.
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Old 11-29-2018, 01:33 PM
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I wish i could terminate immediatly for some of my kids, but i cant afford it They make me hate my job. Thankfully they are part time.
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Old 11-29-2018, 05:58 PM
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I wish i could terminate immediatly for some of my kids, but i cant afford it They make me hate my job. Thankfully they are part time.
Gradually, I reached a point in life where no money was worth some things. I am by no means wealthy, but my sanity is priceless. I have Been in child care for 34 years and in Family child Care for 26+ years. Being selective who enters or remains in my child care program is a must for me to survive.
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Old 11-29-2018, 06:38 PM
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Had a dcm with 3 children and lived with her grandparents, grandad would pay for their care and then she would come and get them. The first 2 months were fine until about July then things took a downward spiral, the day they were terminated she pitched the biggest fit and it was soo bad we had to call the sheriff. Never heard from her again.
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Old 11-30-2018, 03:19 AM
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Mine was pretty mild but very peculiar. I had an infant for a few months and things did not start off well. First the child was not bottle trained at all and screamed all day. She acted like the bottle was a torture device. Her scream was the worst. After a lot of back and forth (I was very truthful with mom about the screaming) I found out the mom was exclusively breastfeeding and that the child had never even had formula. Mom didnít want to pump. She seriously thought the child could be at my house for 8 hours and not eat.
We went about trying different formulas and bottles but it was obvious the child was not getting any bottle training at home so it was minimally successful.
During this period there were a few days I had to close 1/2 hr-1 hr early. Parents were notified well in advance. They were also notified (and it was in their contract) that these early closures did not change their bill. I donít charge by the hour.
One day the mom showed up to pick up almost an hour late and well after everyone else had left. I told her what the late charge was and said sheíd have to pay it the next morning at drop off. The next morning she hands me the child and I asked for the late fee. Then she said ďI wanted to talk to you about thatĒ and hands me a piece of paper. On the paper she had written down any time she had dropped off late or picked up even 5 minutes early..these were times not requested by me..and the few days I had closed early, and then proceeded to tell me how she didnít owe me a late fee because I owed her time. I told her that wasnít how it worked while seriously wondering what the heck was going on. This lady had several doctorate degrees and is incredibly smart. Her family is very well known in our community. I felt like I was being punked.
She basically refused to pay. I still canít believe how calm I stayed. It was so weird. In an act of goodwill (or maybe because I didnít want my reputation tarnished) I offered to watch the child for the remainder of the week (prepaid in advance) and forgive the late fee so she could find care that better suited her needs. She then said she was afraid that since I was mad at her I would take it out on her baby. I had been holding the baby the entire time. There was never any yelling, just me explaining that wasnít how this worked, my contract and how we might not be a good fit. I felt like my body was taken over by an Angel because I was unbelievably calm dealing with her entitled, ďIím the boss of youĒ attitude. I finally just told her that it didnít sound like we were going to agree and that was fine but it meant we wouldnít be able to work together, handed her the baby and shut the door.
A few days later I received an email from her detailing what she thought I owed her for the prepaid week. I sent her an email back basically saying ďum, nopeĒ and that was the last time I heard from her.
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Old 11-30-2018, 03:42 AM
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Another term happened with two little girls. I believe they were around 3 and 5. I had them second shift. When they started they were the rudest, most obnoxious children Iíd ever met. A few months in and they were finally saying please and thank you and actually became quite well mannered..at least until pick up.
As soon as their mom arrived they were back to the feral children who could do whatever they wanted. I had several talks with their mom about putting her foot down and how I couldnít have my house be so chaotic at 11pm when my husband and two children were sleeping. Nothing got through to her.
One pick up the 3yo refused to put on her shoes and wanted to wear the older sisters shoes. Instead of just carrying the child to the car or having her walk barefoot (it was warm out) she let her put big sisters shoes on so now big sister was wailing. I just couldnít take it anymore and basically told mom that this was happening because she allowed it. This of course pissed the mom off.
In the middle of the night I start getting text about how she was going to report me because I didnít change her childís diaper. She said ďI know you didnít change her because sheís wearing a Disney princess pull-up with hearts on it and I only have Disney princess pull-ups with hearts on them at home. The ones I sent to your house are Disney princess pull-ups with stars on themĒ. I then sent her a photo of the pull-up in my garbage can as well as a photo of the pull-ups she had sent to my house which had all sorts of Disney princess designs..including hearts. If I remember correctly she then accused me of sending pictures of someone elseís pull-ups even though that was the only child in my care with pull-ups. I told her it wasnít going to work out. Then I ignored her. Then I got text wanting their stuff and that she was reporting me for theft. She was an assistance client whose paperwork hadnít been approved yet. How I deal with that (and Iím allowed to do so) is that the client pays me the assistance rate and when/if the state pays me I reimburse the client. I told her she would get her money as soon as the state paid me. She did not like that answer but I wasnít backing down. No way was I going to be stiffed for months of work . She then wanted to come over that minute and get their items. I said no, she said she was calling the police. I said I would meet her at the police station the next evening with their items (at his point I didnít want her back at my house when I was alone with children). She refused..by sheer chance the state approved her the next day. I had her come over when my hubby was home, handed her a check, had her sign a receipt and handed her their things. It didnít end there. The state had assigned her a high copay so she wasnít getting a full refund of her money. The text started all over again. She finally stopped when she realized I wasnít taking the bait.
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Old 11-30-2018, 03:44 AM
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Mine was pretty mild but very peculiar. I had an infant for a few months and things did not start off well. First the child was not bottle trained at all and screamed all day. She acted like the bottle was a torture device. Her scream was the worst. After a lot of back and forth (I was very truthful with mom about the screaming) I found out the mom was exclusively breastfeeding and that the child had never even had formula. Mom didnít want to pump. She seriously thought the child could be at my house for 8 hours and not eat.
We went about trying different formulas and bottles but it was obvious the child was not getting any bottle training at home so it was minimally successful.
During this period there were a few days I had to close 1/2 hr-1 hr early. Parents were notified well in advance. They were also notified (and it was in their contract) that these early closures did not change their bill. I donít charge by the hour.
One day the mom showed up to pick up almost an hour late and well after everyone else had left. I told her what the late charge was and said sheíd have to pay it the next morning at drop off. The next morning she hands me the child and I asked for the late fee. Then she said ďI wanted to talk to you about thatĒ and hands me a piece of paper. On the paper she had written down any time she had dropped off late or picked up even 5 minutes early..these were times not requested by me..and the few days I had closed early, and then proceeded to tell me how she didnít owe me a late fee because I owed her time. I told her that wasnít how it worked while seriously wondering what the heck was going on. This lady had several doctorate degrees and is incredibly smart. Her family is very well known in our community. I felt like I was being punked.
She basically refused to pay. I still canít believe how calm I stayed. It was so weird. In an act of goodwill (or maybe because I didnít want my reputation tarnished) I offered to watch the child for the remainder of the week (prepaid in advance) and forgive the late fee so she could find care that better suited her needs. She then said she was afraid that since I was mad at her I would take it out on her baby. I had been holding the baby the entire time. There was never any yelling, just me explaining that wasnít how this worked, my contract and how we might not be a good fit. I felt like my body was taken over by an Angel because I was unbelievably calm dealing with her entitled, ďIím the boss of youĒ attitude. I finally just told her that it didnít sound like we were going to agree and that was fine but it meant we wouldnít be able to work together, handed her the baby and shut the door.
A few days later I received an email from her detailing what she thought I owed her for the prepaid week. I sent her an email back basically saying ďum, nopeĒ and that was the last time I heard from her.
Owed her time for picking up her kid a little early. Oh my that is a new one.
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Old 11-30-2018, 04:02 AM
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The only other term I had in the last 24 years (around 18 years actually doing daycare) was a mom if an infant who need the attention of a nanny not a group care provider who charged $125 a week..I should clarify, the baby was an angel, the mom needed the attention.
I watched the older sibling (not as an infant) and he thrived here. Then the baby was born and mom was texting me all hours, wanting his exact poop and pee schedule, when he ate and how much and wanted to know what her 3 month old was playing and why he was laying on his tummy off to the side (having tummy time with toys) in a photo I posted of a group activity. Her constant ridiculous questions made me stop posting photos for the group.
She kept asking I needed more burp rags and I explained that he didnít spit up much here. Apparently at home he basically vomited while being burped. She just couldnít understand why it was so different here. Eventually it came out that she put rice in his bottle. I explained that I couldnít do that here, that he doesnít need rice and thatís itís not best practice for me but she should do what she needs to do at home. I did not say that the rice was probably the reason for the vomit. Not my monkey and all.
For some reason she just couldnít quit. Acted like I was doing something horrible by not putting rice in his bottle. Started taking up so much of my time after hours that I stopped responding and it all came to a head when I finally told her that we werenít a good fit because I couldnít provide the things she wanted. It was basically a self term that I talked her into. I was caring for one of her friends children and trying not to ruffle feathers (the friend didnít leave and apologized for recommending her later after hearing about the shenanigans from her friend).
The baby never went to another daycare and mom quit her job. I think that was what she wanted all along but she needed to feel like I was the bad guy. Some parents are so weird.
Thankfully, these are the only terms that I can remember. While I did use my backbone is some ways I didnít do it soon enough and put up with way too much. These days I choose my clients wisely and make it known right away that I donít play games and that Iíd rather have an open spot than a client or child that stresses me out as much as these people did. Now I have great clients. I think if any of them tried to pull these kind of stunts Iíd just point to the door and say ďjust go, I canít evenĒ.
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Old 11-30-2018, 04:08 AM
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Owed her time for picking up her kid a little early. Oh my that is a new one.
I canít adequately explain how completely shocked I was. This woman has published books and articles on things I canít pretend to understand. In retrospect I think her being so educated made it incredibly easy for her to think of me, a simple daycare provider working on a bachelors degree, as some lowly peasant who would do what she said. Or maybe she was just a brat😂
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Old 11-30-2018, 05:44 AM
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I canít adequately explain how completely shocked I was. This woman has published books and articles on things I canít pretend to understand. In retrospect I think her being so educated made it incredibly easy for her to think of me, a simple daycare provider working on a bachelors degree, as some lowly peasant who would do what she said. Or maybe she was just a brat😂
Yeah probably. I get treated like that by my daycare parents and I can guarantee I am more educated and have more work experience than any of my parents. I finally started letting them all know I teach college classes outside of my daycare job that apparently anyone can do
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Old 11-30-2018, 04:33 PM
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I had a little guy who was supposed to take a bottle. I tried 4 different bottles and he wouldn't take a single one. He SCREAMED for hours before I called for pick up. He screamed for dad until mom got home. Mom quit her job the next day. I think that was her whole goal.
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Old 12-01-2018, 02:14 AM
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Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
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Originally Posted by nanglgrl View Post
I can’t adequately explain how completely shocked I was. This woman has published books and articles on things I can’t pretend to understand. In retrospect I think her being so educated made it incredibly easy for her to think of me, a simple daycare provider working on a bachelors degree, as some lowly peasant who would do what she said. Or maybe she was just a brat��
Wow, you've had some winners.

Over the years I've had situations where I should've termed right on the spot but kept second-guessing myself and hung in there. But you can bet that when the first opportunity that looked like a great reason for not allowing a dcf back, or something similar happened, I took advantage of it.
My most challenging dcf was a brother/sister duet, extremely strong willed, mouthy and sassy, greedy, selfish, and the dcb accused an older dcg of touching him inappropriately when he didn't get his way. He had broken many items in my dc because of his anger. He'd get mad at me and throw all the books off bookshelves or toys. One time he kept refusing to sit in time out so I put him in a booster seat at the table and he ended up spitting all over my kitchen floor. Oh he was a brat. He used to get on his sister's case about every single thing, extremely bossy and controlling. And his sister was growing up the same way. Looking back, I have no idea how or why I hung in there for so long. I guess because terming is easier said than done.
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Old 12-05-2018, 02:09 PM
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Both times it was because of safety issues. 1st was caused by a grandma acting out violently at my house (angry about late fees). 2nd was a child repeatedly injuring other children in care and parents wouldn't agree with me on how to remedy the situation. Parents were very understanding and gracious about the termination though.

I hope I don't have another for a very long time.

I just had a family terminate care on the spot because I refused to discount tuition for the days they were absent with no notice.
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