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Old 05-07-2019, 10:53 AM
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gumdrops gumdrops is offline
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Default How Do You Handle This?

I have a DCG almost 5. I have posted about her before because she is a handful. It is obvious that there is no discipline at home. I do what I can here to survive the day. She will be going to K in the fall, so I'm just holding my breath until then.

Anyway, at pick up, we were playing outside. I asked her to run into the house to grab something. She was excited to see DCM so I sent another 4 yr old in to grab the item. When she sees that someone else grabbed what I originally asked her to get, she freaks out and starts tattling. I tell her, it's OK, you were busy with mom, so I sent other girl in. DCM says "it's OK, you can get it tomorrow" I've noticed she does this a lot. Instead of dealing with the situation, she bribes her. So she STOMPS to the vehicle. Mom says "oh she is so sassy" and acts like it's cute. THEN DCG stops at the vehicle SCREAMS at the other DCG "you are not my best friend, and you are never coming to my house again". I start to say her name and decide moms standing right there, I'll let her handle it. Nope! She just looks at me and says "Oh, (daughter's name)" in a light, no big deal, voice.

How would you have handled this?

While I'm glad she's moving on in a few months, I still have little sis who is picking up a lot of the same behaviors.

Anytime I tell her parents about any little incident, they just say "yeah, she's getting sassy" or "I know, she shouldn't do that" but they obviously don't address it at home.
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Old 05-07-2019, 12:43 PM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gumdrops View Post
I have a DCG almost 5. I have posted about her before because she is a handful. It is obvious that there is no discipline at home. I do what I can here to survive the day. She will be going to K in the fall, so I'm just holding my breath until then.

Anyway, at pick up, we were playing outside. I asked her to run into the house to grab something. She was excited to see DCM so I sent another 4 yr old in to grab the item. When she sees that someone else grabbed what I originally asked her to get, she freaks out and starts tattling. I tell her, it's OK, you were busy with mom, so I sent other girl in. DCM says "it's OK, you can get it tomorrow" I've noticed she does this a lot. Instead of dealing with the situation, she bribes her. So she STOMPS to the vehicle. Mom says "oh she is so sassy" and acts like it's cute. THEN DCG stops at the vehicle SCREAMS at the other DCG "you are not my best friend, and you are never coming to my house again". I start to say her name and decide moms standing right there, I'll let her handle it. Nope! She just looks at me and says "Oh, (daughter's name)" in a light, no big deal, voice.

How would you have handled this?

While I'm glad she's moving on in a few months, I still have little sis who is picking up a lot of the same behaviors.

Anytime I tell her parents about any little incident, they just say "yeah, she's getting sassy" or "I know, she shouldn't do that" but they obviously don't address it at home.
When a child that age misbehaves like that, (whether a parent intervenes or not) the child gets a consequence or loses privileges the following day.

Either I don't let them participate in activities for older kids (as they've shown me they aren't old enough the day prior) or I implement a consequence such as sitting in a time out, apologizing to the other child etc

As for mom, I'd straight up make a comment about her not really addressing the issues and say something like "When you continually gloss over her bad behavior you are essentially creating that sassy attitude."
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Old 05-08-2019, 08:49 AM
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knoxmomof2 knoxmomof2 is offline
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I'd probably say, "well that wasn't very nice" (to the kid who said it) and then, turn to the other child and say, "Come on, Susie, let's go find something fun to play with!" Then, as we're walking away, I would say, "I don't think I'd want to play with Sally any more if she talked to me like that...."

The next day, if Sally asks to do the thing that Mom promised she could, I would say, "nope, you weren't very nice to Susie yesterday, so I think Susie should have another turn. We don't get good things by making bad choices."
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Old 05-08-2019, 11:43 AM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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I would have laughed and said “wow someone is in a mood”!

I don’t personally see this situation as being a big deal, she got her feelings hurt and expressed her anger. The next day I might say something about it being ok to have hurt feelings but trying to make others feel bad is not how we handle it.

In my opinion this is a family that does not name emotions and does not show appropriate ways to handle emotions. Lashing out and being “sassy” is all she gets in terms of emotional intelligence.
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