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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Children Witnessing Violence At My Daycare
Unregistered 12:37 PM 12-21-2012
I am a registered user on this forum but I had something extremely upsetting happen at my daycare and I'm really embarrassed that I let it happen. I am an older woman with grown kids and I run a daycare. Well long story short....my even older mother came into my daycare yesterday and verbally abused me in front of my daycare kids, cursing and calling me horrible names. When I told her she wasn't going to speak like that to me and that I was an adult- and to get out. Yes, voices were raised.....She punched me in the face, then stormed out.

I tried to act as if nothing was wrong for the kids. I only had little ones in care that day but I know that the whole scene was upsetting for them, and my oldest in care asked me why the mean lady hit me. I didn't cry and just went on about my routine as if nothing happened but I feel horrible that the kids witnessed that. Nothing like that has ever happened before at my daycare or at my home since I've been grown. My mother was an alcoholic growing up and these scenes were pretty common when I was young but she has been sober for about ten years.

She was telling my grown kids later that night that she would shut me up one way or another. I am so humiliated and angry that she did that. Especially in front of my dck's. I feel like the most horrible person for letting the kids see that and yelling. This is supposed to be a safe environment where they never have to be scared....

It will never happen again because she will not come here during dc hours and if she should...I will call the police.

I just feel so horrible..and right before Christmas this had to happen...
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Michael 12:43 PM 12-21-2012
Sorry that happened to you. Go to the police station and file a report.
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Blackcat31 12:45 PM 12-21-2012
OMG!! First ((((((BIG HUGS!!!!!))))) and I am so sorry that happened at your daycare.

I have been in a similar situation, minus the punching and know how you feel but still you did nothing wrong!!!


If I were you, I would immediately file assault charges on the woman. I would also get a restraining order against her so she can no longer talk to you or anyone about you.

Call the police and file a report as soon as you can so she is held responsible for her actions.

Also did you call your licensor and let her know what happened so she knows?

Wow...I cannot believe the nerve of some people.

Please don't feel even one bit responsible...you had no way of knowing this person would act so stupidly!

PM me if you need to talk and don't feel bad. (((HUGS))))
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Holiday Park 12:46 PM 12-21-2012
Ditto . That was my first thought . If you want to help the kids feel safe, and learn that people eho behave this way suffer consequences, let the kids know that the "mean lady" who hit you is going to jail because grown ups are not supposed to act that way.
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MamaBearCanada 12:55 PM 12-21-2012
I'm sorry that's horrible You did nothing wrong - how could you have expected that? I think it's a credit to you that you are such a wonderful caregiver with such concern for the kids in your care.
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Lucy 01:00 PM 12-21-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If I were you, I would immediately file assault charges on the woman. I would also get a restraining order against her so she can no longer talk to you or anyone about you.

Wow...I cannot believe the nerve of some people.

Please don't feel even one bit responsible...you had no way of knowing this person would act so stupidly!
If I read it right, "The Woman" was her Mother. Not that mine would ever do anything like this, but I could never file charges or get a restraining order against her! If it were a neighbor or client, yes, but not my MOTHER!
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Blackcat31 01:03 PM 12-21-2012
Originally Posted by Lucy:
If I read it right, "The Woman" was her Mother. Not that mine would ever do anything like this, but I could never file charges or get a restraining order against her! If it were a neighbor or client, yes, but not my MOTHER!


I guess I was just so floored, I didn't catch that part...I though she meant an even older mother not HER even older mother!

Still...file charges, get a order for protection and call the police and your licensor!

Related or not, that is so uncool!
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Willow 01:36 PM 12-21-2012
OP -I mean no offense when I say this but is your mother mentally ill to be acting like that? And then to threaten you to your very own children that way??

Dementia is what specifically comes to mind as my grandfather has been impacted by if the last few years. This past year he lost the ability to use reason and good judgement and subsequently has become quite violent when agitated.

Alcoholism is definitely a per-cursor as the binging for extended periods of time typically causes permanent neurological damage.

if she's healthy as a horse and just nasty definitely go file a police report and get a restraining order.

If she's sick, get her help. If she's just mean HOLD HER ACCOUNTABLE.
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Willow 01:42 PM 12-21-2012
Originally Posted by Lucy:
If I read it right, "The Woman" was her Mother. Not that mine would ever do anything like this, but I could never file charges or get a restraining order against her! If it were a neighbor or client, yes, but not my MOTHER!
I guess I see that the other way around. I would more expect a stranger or acquaintance to square off with me than I ever would my own flesh and blood.

Can you even imagine treating your own child that way? I know I can't!


Where was that mothers proclamation of "I would never punch my DAUGHTER, in front of a bunch of children, and then threaten her life in front of her own kids!"


I don't care if it was the Pope himself.....you punch me in the face you best have a darn good reason or a darn good lawyer......
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MarinaVanessa 02:07 PM 12-21-2012
Oh no ... How awful for you

It's my personal opinion that no matter what person no one should treat me this way. I'm a firm believer of teaching people how to treat you and if I were in this situation I would definitely teach that person, mother or not, that it is not ok to treat me this way.

I would call the police and make a report. They will go to your mothers house (most likely) and question her. If anything at least it will show her that you will not tolerate her behavior.

If she had a disagreement with you that's one thing but when you made it clear that you would not tolerate being yelled at she PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE!!! I mean you do get that right? She PUNCHED you. SHE escalated things when she was already being unreasonable by physically assaulting you. Instead of just storming off to cool down she showed you further that she has no regard to your feelings, well being or your livelihood.

It's a sad and difficult thing but SHE assaulted you. She consciously chose to hurt you. It's a choice, a decision that for whatever reason she somehow at that moment rationalized that it was ok for her to do. I'd make that call and make a report. She made a choice .. if it was my mom I'd want my mom to deal with the consequences of her own actions. She showed no remorse and somehow thinks she was right to do what she did to shut you up when you had already told her to leave. All she had to do was walk out and she wouldn't have to hear you anymore ... instead she chose to punch you.
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Scout 02:50 PM 12-21-2012
I am so sorry this happened to you! Are you sure your mom didn't fall of the wagon? It sounds as though she may have been drinking? Did you tell the dcp about the situation? Idk the protocol for that if you are licensed, but, no one should have to do that! I hope you are able to gather up the courage to do something about this. My mom is my best friend and I can't imagine this happening.
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Heidi 05:57 PM 12-21-2012
Please, remember that alchoholics are SO, SO, good at making everyone else responsible for their behavior! THis is NOT your fault, never was!

Call the police and file a report. If there is a medical reason (such as dementia, as pp said), fine, then she can get help and you can forgive here. If she fell off the wagon, fine, then maybe being arrested will be a wake-up call. If it's just plain mean...well...pllllllhhhhllllhhh!

report it to the police, report it to your licenser (stating you filed a report to police), and don't worry too much about the kiddos. One incidence of violence is unlikey to scar them. It those of us who witnessed it again and again that really struggle. But, make her accountable, so that you can tell the kiddos that witnessed it that the police are helping you, since that mean lady (as pp said) hurt you.
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MamaG 11:54 PM 12-21-2012
I would have called the cops and had my mom arrested. Just because she birthed me does not mean she can abuse me. It's bad example to show dcks it's ok to act like that.

I have a neighbor who yells and curses at me in front of dcks and my own lil kids. I talked to police who told me exactly what to do and say next time so they can arrest her. Next spring/summer ill probably be posting about it!
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Kaddidle Care 09:29 AM 12-22-2012
It's time for a restraining order. I don't care who she is - she has no right to do what she did and if you continue to allow her to come into your home you can kiss your business good bye.

I'm sorry this happened to you but your mother is a nutter. She crossed a line that should have never been crossed. If you see her again, make sure you have someone with you. Do not allow her around those children again.
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Tags:abuse, parents - confrontational, violent behaviour
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