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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>On The Verge Of Tears
Patches 12:22 PM 03-08-2013
I don't know what to do! Dcb (the one that I posted about a couple weeks ago with suspected autism) has been on and off with his behavior since dcm gave me her tips. Some days it works and some days it doesn't. Today, NOTHING worked! He has been having screaming fits all morning and hitting, kicking, and headbutting me. He JUST went to sleep after an hour of this straight Now as I'm typing this I'm holding one of the babies he kept awake through half of nap time and trying to get her to sleep, while looking at my tables and floor still dirty from lunch.
I guess my question is should I call parents to pick him up when he does this or would this just be reinforcing the behavior? KWIM? Scream and yell and hit long enough and mommy or daddy will come get me.
I'm starting to get the feeling that I can't meet his needs but I was trying to wait until my assisstant starts to decide, but I can't afford to have her start until I enroll at least one more child.
S what do you ladies think about sending him home?

Sorry if there are tyos, typing one handed
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:25 PM 03-08-2013
I really don't care what issue you have in life, if you are being violent then you cannot stay.
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CedarCreek 12:51 PM 03-08-2013
I sort of agree with the pp.

I had to term a child that was exactly like your dc just about a month or so ago. He head butted me as well.

I know you want to help him but the violence can't be tolerated.
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littleblossoms 12:54 PM 03-08-2013
Not sure how he is, but i will put him in the playpen eveeytime he does this. Or call for pick up.

I have a dcb 20 months he has tried the hitting, biting and head banging. Every time he does it he goes in a playpen in a separate room from us. If really bad and I can't take he screaming i call for pick up.

Good luck
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countrymom 12:58 PM 03-08-2013
when he becomes a danger to you and the others its time to call for pick up. Hmm are you sure that he has autism, because those sound like very violent behaviors.
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Patches 01:02 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I really don't care what issue you have in life, if you are being violent then you cannot stay.
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
I sort of agree with the pp.

I had to term a child that was exactly like your dc just about a month or so ago. He head butted me as well.

I know you want to help him but the violence can't be tolerated.
Thank you guys so much for responding. I was thinking about the violence thing, too and I guess I was just trying to rationalize in my head that it's just me he's being violent to and I can handle that but I know that's wrong. Plus if he's doing it to me, what's to stop him from doing it to the other dcks.

So, since he's sleeping now, should I call his parents and tell them what's been going on today and tell them if it happens again he'll need to be picked up? Or just go ahead and have them pick him up now? I'm sorry for all the questions, I'm so new at this and at all the centers I've worked at we just had to put up with this type of behavior.
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butterfly 01:02 PM 03-08-2013
Ok, here's an opinion of a parent with an autistic child again...

I think you should term.

It's too much stress on you and the other kids when the child's behavior is like this. I really, really feel for you and the parent of this child because I can relate. I know how bad the behaviors get. The parent needs to get the school district involved and get him evaluated for services. There is help out there, but you (they) have to find it!

I'm sorry you are still struggling with this.
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NeedaVaca 01:02 PM 03-08-2013
I can't remember everything in your previous post but suspected autism? He needs to get diagnosed and start receiving therapy or these behaviors will get worse. Why haven't his parents moved forward with this?
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Patches 01:03 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by littleblossoms:
Not sure how he is, but i will put him in the playpen eveeytime he does this. Or call for pick up.

I have a dcb 20 months he has tried the hitting, biting and head banging. Every time he does it he goes in a playpen in a separate room from us. If really bad and I can't take he screaming i call for pick up.

Good luck
He'll be 4 next month
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rmc20021 01:05 PM 03-08-2013
I'm pretty sure that dcb would have already been gone from my daycare...When it comes to violence like that and there are other children around, even if they are not being injured, I'm sure it's scarey to them.
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Patches 01:10 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
Ok, here's an opinion of a parent with an autistic child again...

I think you should term.

It's too much stress on you and the other kids when the child's behavior is like this. I really, really feel for you and the parent of this child because I can relate. I know how bad the behaviors get. The parent needs to get the school district involved and get him evaluated for services. There is help out there, but you (they) have to find it!

I'm sorry you are still struggling with this.
I am seriously considering terming after today. I know it's not fair for anyone involved for him to stay here and I hate to do it but I know he needs a level of care that I can't provide. Hmmmm...I guess I just made up my mind.

Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I can't remember everything in your previous post but suspected autism? He needs to get diagnosed and start receiving therapy or these behaviors will get worse. Why haven't his parents moved forward with this?
They sadi he has not been officially diagnosed because he is too young.
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NeedaVaca 01:19 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by Patches:
I am seriously considering terming after today. I know it's not fair for anyone involved for him to stay here and I hate to do it but I know he needs a level of care that I can't provide. Hmmmm...I guess I just made up my mind.


They sadi he has not been officially diagnosed because he is too young.
4 is not too young! Early intervention is key...he's missing out on the help he could be getting now
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butterfly 01:26 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by Patches:
I am seriously considering terming after today. I know it's not fair for anyone involved for him to stay here and I hate to do it but I know he needs a level of care that I can't provide. Hmmmm...I guess I just made up my mind.


They sadi he has not been officially diagnosed because he is too young.
He may be too young for a DIAGNOSIS, but not too young for services. They can still do therapy and help with services even if they don't have an official diagnosis! I know that because I've been there and done that!

This, however, is not your responsibility! The parents need to get moving on this and a termination may be the push they need to get the ball rolling.
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cheerfuldom 02:20 PM 03-08-2013
it really doesnt matter why he is doing this and what the parents are and are not doing.....if you cannot handle his behavior and keep him, the other kids, and yourself in a safe and calm environment, then he needs to go. it sounds like you already made up your mind and we are here to support you. I would type up a term letter and give this evening at pickup. two weeks notice with the understanding that any severe tantrums in the next two weeks and parents will be called to pickup immediately
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EntropyControlSpecialist 02:24 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
when he becomes a danger to you and the others its time to call for pick up. Hmm are you sure that he has autism, because those sound like very violent behaviors.
Children with Autism may be socially avoidant but they can also be extremely violent. I had a child with Autism here (4) that tried to choke me, pinch me, kick me, hit me, slap me, bite me, pull my hair, etc. because I wanted him to do something he did not want to do. He would also try to slam the other children's heads with blocks if they had something he wanted. I had to term him.

I have another child with Autism (is about to turn 4) in my care now that does not display any aggressive behaviors while here. At his special education preschool, he does push.

That child is NOT too young for a diagnosis.
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daycarediva 02:57 PM 03-08-2013
Term.

It's BS that he can't get diagnosed at 4. My ds has aspergers, and was diagnosed on the spectrum before he was 2. He was violent at times and needed a 1:1 during special needs preschool times, but aged out of that behavior. This kid needs therapies and individual attention that you cannot give.
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MarinaVanessa 03:25 PM 03-08-2013
Originally Posted by Patches:
They sadi he has not been officially diagnosed because he is too young.
Wow really? I have an autistic nephew and his parents waited until he was 4 to get him evaluated finally and they asked her why she had waited so long to get a diagnosis because he missed out on so much early-intervention . I could understand that it would be difficult to diagnose a child that was 2yo but I would think that 3 is old enough to be able to tell whether he was autistic or not, but who knows.

I know that all cases are different and some children are more severe than others but we (me family, my cousin's 5 sisters etc) all knew that something was up with him when he was 1 and knew for sure that he was autistic before he turned 3. He was diagnosed with severe autism but over time (he is 7 now) his autism isn't considered severe anymore. His specialist chalked it up how well he transitioned to the therapy and how active his parents and child care giver (one of my cousins) are in participating with his therapy.

Hopefully DCM can get some help soon so her child doesn't have to struggle.
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Tags:autistic, violent behaviour
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