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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potty Training Question
Unregistered 04:31 PM 01-31-2014
So I have this mom that have been here for some time now and said that she is been looking at other places because her daughter is not potty trained and she is going to be 3. The firs think I said is "that is very good" if she will be potty trained in a large center I will definitely recommend you to go and sign up. She was in shock that I said that but I did. This is the type of parent that has all the time in the world but wants me to take her d diapers off in here. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOtttttt until she could at least say she hs to go potty. How do you handle potty training? and how do you handle parents that want to force their child to be potty trained?
Please some advise
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Michael 05:12 PM 01-31-2014
Pushing this back up.
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BrooklynM 06:14 PM 01-31-2014
I would first ask the parent why potty training now is so important to them, when the child doesn't seem ready. I would explain to them that it's a lot of work for even a child that wants to potty but if the child isn't interested then it's just something you aren't going to do. My theory on potty training is this- first, the child must be ready and show signs they are ready, for example saying when they have gone poo poo or pee pee or they want to wear big kid underwear. Next, the parents need to be ready and willing to commit. All potty trainings start on Friday night and the parents must do the entire weekend. Pull ups stay on until the child is dry for 2 weeks with no accidents. They can have them wear underwear at home, which I recommend, but not here.

Potty training is so much easier when the child is ready and horrific if you try to force them. Just my opinion.... Maybe tell them to try to start potty training this weekend and if he does well you will continue on Monday! That might solve all of your problems!
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mountainside13 06:22 PM 01-31-2014
Pp had great advice, I do have to add one thing you might want to talk to mom about. If she switches daycares right now the stress of a new environment could prolong potty training even longer.

Good luck!
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cheerfuldom 09:28 PM 01-31-2014
I would NOT assist in potty training when the parents are going to use diapers at home. No way, no how.

I require a child to be able to handle their clothing (dress and redress), wipe themselves and wash hands as well as verbalize the need to go. I personally have no problem with reminding as long as a child will say yes if they need to go. I do not take kids more than once an hour (unless they ask to go) so I dont spend all day in the bathroom, I don't reward or punish with the training process (no candy, no toys, no sticker charts, no timeouts) and I dont allow underwear only until they are accident free for two weeks in my care (I dont care what they do or dont do at home). If the parents are clearly not helping, the child is resistant, I will stop the process. If a child regresses, I will insist on pull ups again.

Create a potty training policy if you dont already have one. Do not get baited into training a resistant child for an over eager parent who just wants to save money on diapers. If a parent ever has the nerve to send in underwear without following my policy, I would term on the spot. I do not mess around with that policy. One diarrhea accident all over the play room and you will regret dealing with the potty training!
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Lil'DinoEggs 06:03 AM 02-01-2014
I try and keep it very casual. We all go potty/diaper changes at the same time. All the kids are within sight and sound and I can go potty too. It is a very predictable schedule which is good for young bodies. The kids that are potty trained need to sit on the potty, they do not have to go. this is perfect because the potty trainers can kind of see the big kids do it, if a kid is resistant to pulling up his pants (usually boys fight this one) then I can just ignore it and move onto the next. I have the trainers pull down their pants. I take off their diaper/check there pullup, they sit on the toilet (no ring), they go or they don't and they either then lay down for a new change or they pull up their pants and pullup and wash hands. If they say they don't want to sit on the potty, I may try and press it a little, but I will just say ok. They can switch to underwear if they are peeing in the toilet, pull up/down own clothes, diaper/pull up is dry. I may need them to go poop in the potty if they are poopers. Personally, I don't rely on them asking me because 1. we go every two hours anyway 2. some kids may continue to have this problem well into their fourth or fifth year. I am more concerned about their muscle development and holding it in until they are in the bathroom.

Overall, 75% parents tell me their kids will pee on the potty for me but not for them. I currently had one new 3 year old with absolutely desire to potty train suddenly start peeing on the potty. It was like a light switch went off. She is almost always dry and will pee every time. The only reason I haven't allowed the switch is that 1. she is pooper and hasn't pooped in the potty 2. parents say she has yet to pee at home.
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caregiver 08:02 AM 02-01-2014
I try to keep it really casual also. I will also work with the parents on potty training when they tell me they want to start, but the parents and I have to work together and be on the same page for it to get done. They can't not do it at home and just let me do it here, that will not work. Also the child has to show some interest in the potty before we start otherwise it doesn't work.
I also have the parents bring me pull ups to use, no using regular underwear while trying to potty train. Even if they are potty trained during the day, I still will put on pull ups on at nap time until they are fully trained at night time too.
I would let that dcm find another place for her child and say so long! Sounds like she expects you to do all the work of potty training and she won't have to bother with it.
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Blackcat31 08:38 AM 02-01-2014
Potty training is a parental responsibility. I will support and assist the parent in the process but the majority of the work MUST be done by the parent.

The child is allowed to wear underwear in my child care AFTER the parent has had lots of success at home FIRST.
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Unregistered 06:24 PM 02-01-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Potty training is a parental responsibility. I will support and assist the parent in the process but the majority of the work MUST be done by the parent.

The child is allowed to wear underwear in my child care AFTER the parent has had lots of success at home FIRST.
That is my policy I do not allow children to use underwear until they have tried at home. This dcg is the only one in my group that does not even want to try. I sit all my girls together and they all go but she doesn't. The dcm told me that she was going to switch dcg if I was not willing to have her in underwear. I said "no" because this dcm wants somebody to do the dirty job and I have other children to take care of. If she wants to go that is fine with me another one will come I do not cry for dcp to stay if they are comfortable with something. I even recommended few places so she can go and see how they will put her 3 year old in a 2 year old class and she will do nothing but potty all day. The reason I asked is because I have given so many opportunities to this family and this is how they pay me. I'm kind of hart broken but she will lost more than I will so I will not even bother asking what she wants to do. If she leaves good for her and better for me. Thank you for all your suggestions this is a very good place to find answers and vent some stuff.
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littlelionspreschool 07:23 AM 02-02-2014
When I started my preschool/daycare last year, I had 6 2 year olds I was potty training at once. The parents showed no interest in potty training their kids, but I could tell that most of the kids were ready. I put the kids that were successful in staying dry between our potty breaks in underwear (yes, there were some accidents) and the kids who hadn't been successful on the potty yet stayed in pull-ups. Within a few weeks, about half the kids were potty trained in underwear at MY house, but the parents continued to stick them in pull-ups at home (talk about confusing!) The training process definitely did go faster with the parents agreeing to go with how I trained the kids here. I think if I wouldn't have started the training process, most of the kids would still be in pull-ups.
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Unregistered 08:23 AM 02-02-2014
Originally Posted by littlelionspreschool:
When I started my preschool/daycare last year, I had 6 2 year olds I was potty training at once. The parents showed no interest in potty training their kids, but I could tell that most of the kids were ready. I put the kids that were successful in staying dry between our potty breaks in underwear (yes, there were some accidents) and the kids who hadn't been successful on the potty yet stayed in pull-ups. Within a few weeks, about half the kids were potty trained in underwear at MY house, but the parents continued to stick them in pull-ups at home (talk about confusing!) The training process definitely did go faster with the parents agreeing to go with how I trained the kids here. I think if I wouldn't have started the training process, most of the kids would still be in pull-ups.
Its great that you were able to train so many kids but why excuse the parents from doing their jobs?
Maybe they were all lazy about potty training because they knew you would do it for them. Sounds to me like some parents just found an easy out. A daycare provider that will parent for them.
It is evident that the parents had no respect for you or their children because they didnt even try to work with you and just did what was easiest for them and put their kid in pull ups whenever the parent had them.
I think it was really nice of you to do that for those kids but I think it is sad that those parents used you like that.
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Shell 12:36 PM 02-02-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Its great that you were able to train so many kids but why excuse the parents from doing their jobs?
Maybe they were all lazy about potty training because they knew you would do it for them. Sounds to me like some parents just found an easy out. A daycare provider that will parent for them.
It is evident that the parents had no respect for you or their children because they didnt even try to work with you and just did what was easiest for them and put their kid in pull ups whenever the parent had them.
I think it was really nice of you to do that for those kids but I think it is sad that those parents used you like that.
This is exactly the thinking of so many parents at centers where I used to work. They knew that the teachers would put their child on the potty at transition times, multiple times a day, so they wouldn't even bother trying at home. Honestly, when I first started out with home daycare, I was of the mentality that it was my job to teach potty training. The truth is, the parents need to start at home, and we are there to support. It does go much smoother when everyone is on the same page!
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TwinKristi 05:48 PM 02-02-2014
Parents are so funny like that! I had a mom who knew her son had to be PT'd by Sept for preschool and come July/August it was crunch time. He stayed dry here but mom would bring him in diapers and had diapers in his backpack. Why??? Don't you want him PT'd?? Ugh!! My DS will stay dry if we're home but leaving is the hard part. Since we're here most days it works but another DCM is like "hey! PT my son too!" But he doesn't talk!!! He doesn't communicate when his diaper is dirty, I usually watch for cues or smell! LOL I told mom he needs to be able to communicate first. I feel bad though because he is older but 3+ mos. and I would love to PT him but he's just not there and sadly I don't know when he will be, he's like a 15-18 month old in many ways.
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Meyou 01:36 AM 02-03-2014
I expect parents to do most (all) of the work at home too.

Except for this past November when I had 3 ready to potty learn and 3 sets of clueless parents who could not get it together. I trained the 3 of them for ME. I didn't want to change 3 sets of diapers for another 6 months so they could mentally prepare or whatever it was they had to do. It took a week and I'm so glad I did in this case. I went from changing 20+ diapers a day back to 6-8. Woo!
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sally 08:43 AM 02-03-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
Parents are so funny like that! I had a mom who knew her son had to be PT'd by Sept for preschool and come July/August it was crunch time. He stayed dry here but mom would bring him in diapers and had diapers in his backpack. Why??? Don't you want him PT'd?? Ugh!! My DS will stay dry if we're home but leaving is the hard part. Since we're here most days it works but another DCM is like "hey! PT my son too!" But he doesn't talk!!! He doesn't communicate when his diaper is dirty, I usually watch for cues or smell! LOL I told mom he needs to be able to communicate first. I feel bad though because he is older but 3+ mos. and I would love to PT him but he's just not there and sadly I don't know when he will be, he's like a 15-18 month old in many ways.
I have this kid too! He turned 3 back in November but he is developmentally on a level with 12 to 15 month olds. You can't understand him when he tries to talk, he can't take his clothes off or put them on and he doesn't follow simple commands at all. His mom wanted me to pt him here while I was working with my own dd who is younger just turning 2 but is very interested while dcboy has no interest what so ever. If I didn't check him often he would be happy to sit in a wet or dirty diaper all day. His mom is taking a week off next week and thinks she'll have him pt'ed by the end of the week. I'd be thrilled if it works but I know it won't
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littlelionspreschool 05:58 PM 02-06-2014
Originally Posted by Meyou:
I expect parents to do most (all) of the work at home too.

Except for this past November when I had 3 ready to potty learn and 3 sets of clueless parents who could not get it together. I trained the 3 of them for ME. I didn't want to change 3 sets of diapers for another 6 months so they could mentally prepare or whatever it was they had to do. It took a week and I'm so glad I did in this case. I went from changing 20+ diapers a day back to 6-8. Woo!
I am with you on this one! It is so much easier without all the diaper changing, especially when I knew the kids were ready. The parents definitely take advantage whenever they can though (and not only with potty training!) I feel like the mom most of the time, which is probably why the kids never want to go home.
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CraftyMom 06:20 PM 02-06-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I don't reward or punish with the training process (no candy, no toys, no sticker charts, no timeouts) and I dont allow underwear only until they are accident free for two weeks in my care (I dont care what they do or dont do at home).
Awesome! I was starting to think I was the only one! No books on the potty either! In my experience all the other stuff just preoccupies them. I'd have kids sitting there looking at books for 15 minutes and forget that they're supposed to be going potty. It turned into a big game. And I only support the process I do not do the bulk of the training.

However, I do encourage the process before it starts. Talking about it, letting the child watch others (who don't mind), watching for cues, etc. I will put him on the potty if he asks even if he doesn't go. But I don't do the parents' job, I don't force, I don't bribe, I don't make games. That's here, whatever the parents do at home is up to them.
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