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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Poop Accidents, Advice?
Chellieleanne 05:31 PM 05-05-2014
So I have a dcb that is 2.5 and he is pretty much pee potty trained though needs to be reminded to go or will have accidents. Poop is another story. He has been in underwear for a few weeks now and most days he doesn't poop here but when he does it is at least twice. I have not had an issue with poop training with my kids so I don't know how to handle this. DCM says she puts him on the potty after dinner until he poops and they make a big deal of it but that doesn't help here as he has no signs of pooping at all, no hiding, no red face, no going quiet, nothing, which makes the situation harder to tell when he has to go. Pull ups give him a rash so they are not used and I really don't want to put him back in diapers as he would gladly use diapers again and asks for diapers:/

I tried reading other posts and it seems the consensus is with bm to go back to diapers until they go potty but that feels like back tracking when he goes pee in the potty. I am going to bring it up with DCM tonight as well as the issue I posted about previously but I don't know whether to suggest diapers/pull ups again or to find something else to get him to go. I have tried stickers and other treats here but it doesn't matter. I think DCM has tried sticker chart and candy at home too but as it is he spends maybe 3.5 hours waking time during the week with his parents which I am sure is part of the problem too:/

Thanks!
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craftymissbeth 06:01 PM 05-05-2014
When he has a bm with you he does it in his underwear? Personally, I don't care if it's backtracking or not... kids who don't/won't go in the toilet HAVE to wear pull-ups or diapers here. No exception. IMO, it's unsanitary and just plain gross.

My vote is to put him back in pull-ups.
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Leigh 06:04 PM 05-05-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
When he has a bm with you he does it in his underwear? Personally, I don't care if it's backtracking or not... kids who don't/won't go in the toilet HAVE to wear pull-ups or diapers here. No exception. IMO, it's unsanitary and just plain gross.

My vote is to put him back in pull-ups.


There is no "pretty much" potty trained at my house. They are or they are not trained. A child who still has accidents of ANY kind requires diapers.
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Chellieleanne 06:27 PM 05-05-2014
It is in his underwear. Like today for example the first time he said he had to go potty but he already pooped and refused to go when I tried to take him. I did make him sit on the toilet though after his fight against it. Second time he said nothing and I smelled it and made him sit on the toilet and he pooped more after he was sitting there.

Today is going to be a fun convo with DCM:/ so not looking forward to it. Already exceeded 10 hours and probably won't be here until the usual time.... I know I need to get more guts as I am treating this as my business but I am so not the confrontational so it makes it hard:/
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craftymissbeth 06:34 PM 05-05-2014
Idk... I personally don't push potty training. If the dck's tell me they don't want to or refuse to use the toilet then that's the end of it. He's 2.5 so it's entirely possible he's just not 100% into it. I'd put him in a pull-up until he's at least two weeks accident free. He's more than welcome to use the toilet to urinate, but I just wouldn't push it or force him to sit on the toilet.
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Chellieleanne 06:42 PM 05-05-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Idk... I personally don't push potty training. If the dck's tell me they don't want to or refuse to use the toilet then that's the end of it. He's 2.5 so it's entirely possible he's just not 100% into it. I'd put him in a pull-up until he's at least two weeks accident free. He's more than welcome to use the toilet to urinate, but I just wouldn't push it or force him to sit on the toilet.
I'm not pushing it. DCM has been off and on since I started watching him and recently started pushing it. So I remind him to go potty and he does so just find but when it comes to poop it is a whole different situation. She should be here soon so I am going to talk to her and I guess recommend pull ups though the last time we tried those he got a bad rash. I am just sick of the mess :/
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craftymissbeth 07:06 PM 05-05-2014
Originally Posted by Chellieleanne:
I'm not pushing it. DCM has been off and on since I started watching him and recently started pushing it. So I remind him to go potty and he does so just find but when it comes to poop it is a whole different situation. She should be here soon so I am going to talk to her and I guess recommend pull ups though the last time we tried those he got a bad rash. I am just sick of the mess :/
Oh ok... I wouldn't recommend them, I'd require them, though. If pull ups give him a rash then diapers would be the only option.

Really, it comes down to two options: put him back in diapers/pull-ups or suck it up and deal with poopy underwear and potentially feces all over. I totally understand accidents happening, but to consistently poop anywhere but the toilet is not a potty trained child and they don't belong in underwear, IMO.

Good luck!
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daycare_jen 07:27 PM 05-05-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Oh ok... I wouldn't recommend them, I'd require them, though. If pull ups give him a rash then diapers would be the only option.

Really, it comes down to two options: put him back in diapers/pull-ups or suck it up and deal with poopy underwear and potentially feces all over. I totally understand accidents happening, but to consistently poop anywhere but the toilet is not a potty trained child and they don't belong in underwear, IMO.

Good luck!


I went through this with a 3 year old... it was driving me crazy and I really should have told dcm that he could only be in a pullup or diaper since he was still pooping his pants. I had poop on my carpet!!! It was awful, but I felt like I couldn't require pullups because of regression, but I realize now that it was what I should have done. Still now at 3.5, he wears a diaper to nap in and is consistently wet. It took months for him to decide to poop on the toilet.
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TwinKristi 09:28 PM 05-05-2014
Ha! I have a DCG who's 21 mos now I guess and isn't really talking much but her parents think she's ready to potty train! If she's home and naked she does it just fine, just gets up and goes, but I can't have her running around here naked all day.
I feel like a hypocrite sometimes because that's how I trained MY DS who's 2.5. But this is his home and he should be able to learn that way. They can do that at their home but my home isn't the place for her to do that. The dad seems to get it but the mom seems to think she'll just do the same thing here but magically with underwear. She wets and soils underwear at home. I gave it a try this morning, I put her on the potty 2-3 times and she wet her undies (outside thankfully) within 40 mins so I had to put her in a Pull-Up. I still had her sit on the potty another 2-3 times and then she wet the Pull-Up. I even had her sit on the potty after she woke up from nap... Still peed in her Pull-Up. Mom texted a couple times asking and I told her what happened and she was disappointed. I told her they need to work on wearing underwear and communicating that she has to go. I said it's like taking her to the park and expecting her to stay dry and stop to go pee. It ain't gonna happen at this age/ability. At least I can say I tried! LOL
Poop... No way!! No way, no how!! I have a hard enough time keeping one DCB's poop in his diaper so if you can't keep it out of your underwear, you're wearing training pants or diapers! And there are other brands of PullUp-style training pants or diapers she could try.
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Unregistered 09:34 PM 05-05-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
Ha!
How terrible am I? Whenever I see your name, I read it as TwinkieKristie
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CraftyMom 06:58 AM 05-06-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Oh ok... I wouldn't recommend them, I'd require them, though. If pull ups give him a rash then diapers would be the only option.

Really, it comes down to two options: put him back in diapers/pull-ups or suck it up and deal with poopy underwear and potentially feces all over. I totally understand accidents happening, but to consistently poop anywhere but the toilet is not a potty trained child and they don't belong in underwear, IMO.

Good luck!
I agree.

Peeing on the potty means he's on his way to being potty trained and is doing well with peeing. He is not fully potty trained until he does all of his business in the potty.

Partially potty trained, only pees on the potty, only poops on the potty, has to be reminded, has to be asked if he needs to use the potty, any of these phrases (plus some) indicates a child is still in the process of potty training.

A potty trained child will use the potty regardless of what they are wearing, diaper, underwear, pull up...it doesn't matter because they are potty trained and know to use the potty

I'm potty trained, but I'm not going to pee in a diaper just because I'm wearing one....well maybe, depends on the day!
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Blackcat31 07:49 AM 05-06-2014
Originally Posted by Chellieleanne:
It is in his underwear. Like today for example the first time he said he had to go potty but he already pooped and refused to go when I tried to take him. I did make him sit on the toilet though after his fight against it. Second time he said nothing and I smelled it and made him sit on the toilet and he pooped more after he was sitting there.

Today is going to be a fun convo with DCM:/ so not looking forward to it. Already exceeded 10 hours and probably won't be here until the usual time.... I know I need to get more guts as I am treating this as my business but I am so not the confrontational so it makes it hard:/
Enforcing your business rules is not confrontational.

I don't know why so many providers say that.

It has nothing to do with confrontation.

It has to do with stating your rules/directions and then following them.

No different that the cooking directions on a frozen pizza.


Originally Posted by Chellieleanne:
I'm not pushing it. DCM has been off and on since I started watching him and recently started pushing it. So I remind him to go potty and he does so just find but when it comes to poop it is a whole different situation. She should be here soon so I am going to talk to her and I guess recommend pull ups though the last time we tried those he got a bad rash. I am just sick of the mess :/
I would not recommend anything. I would just tell DCM that DCB can NOT poop on your floor, therefore he needs to be in Pull-ups until he can use the toilet without you just placing him there in 30 minute intervals.

I would stress the sanitary issues and how it is not safe for others.

She can do what she wants in her house but in yours, he wears Pull-ups.
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Leigh 08:58 AM 05-06-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Enforcing your business rules is not confrontational.

I don't know why so many providers say that.

It has nothing to do with confrontation.

It has to do with stating your rules/directions and then following them.

No different that the cooking directions on a frozen pizza.




I would not recommend anything. I would just tell DCM that DCB can NOT poop on your floor, therefore he needs to be in Pull-ups until he can use the toilet without you just placing him there in 30 minute intervals.

I would stress the sanitary issues and how it is not safe for others.

She can do what she wants in her house but in yours, he wears Pull-ups.

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Chellieleanne 09:40 AM 05-06-2014
I didn't get a chance to bring this up with her yesterday, but got the other issue I had taken care of. I am going to give it two more weeks and see if anything changes. He has already told me today he has to potty which is a plus as he has not done that until after he has an accident. DCM does a sticker chart at home for potty so I am going to try and recreate that here to see if it helps and ask her tonight and see if there is anything we can do to work together on getting him to poop in the toilet more before resorting to pull ups/diapers again. He has been the only kid I have been watching lately so it isn't hard to clean up after an accident, just frustrating for me. Because he either tells me after the fact or says nothing at all.

As for my business rules, I don't really have any other that have been brought up than my max hours per day and getting paid on time whether it is day of for my on call or my full time DCM pay schedule. I never even thought about potty training more than I am willing to help with it and never wrote up a policy about it in all the paperwork I have typed up. Guess I have something new to add when I am ready to take on more kids or when I get licensed or both. Any new kids I take on though I am going to go through a contract and policies though so I am covered and more professional than how I have been treating this.

Oh also found out I may be losing this kid permanently around the time my baby is born since his mom is talking about moving to the other side of the state:/ in a way perfect timing but I won't have the income when I am ready to work again.
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Tags:poop - undies, potty training, pull ups
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