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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potty Training Advice with Non Helpful DCM
HHdaycare12 11:27 AM 12-07-2015
Hello I need a little bit of advice. I have a FT dcb who was 3 in July. Two weeks before Thanksgiving I, along with the boy's parents I was potty training him. I got dcb all potty trained, completely no accidents at all for 1 whole week. He was not going #2 at home, only here per Mom.Not sure how he made it thru the weekends...
(In my book after 3 full days of no accidents your basically good.) Well after Thanksgiving break boy comes back with a note from mom that says, "X child is no longer potty trained so we packed his pull ups. He had a poopy accident while driving and so we haven't attempted to have him sit or use the big potty as it embarrassed him. Sorry." QUOTED word for word. DCM tells me that they want him to know the feeling using pull ups before underwear. DCD (her husband) tells me that Mom does not want boy to grow up and so just listen to what she wants and we can start back up soon....For the record dcb is now going completely in pull ups every time. No longer tries potty at all and wants pull ups on all the time. What would you do? Keep him trained here then send him home in a pull up? Speak to mom who is not accepting at all when offering advice? Or just go with the pull ups until its "time again?" I just feel like all the hard work I put in is not appreciated and not helping the boy at all is wrong too. Suggestions appreciated Thanks!
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Thriftylady 11:33 AM 12-07-2015
It is not my job to potty train kids. When parents start to potty train, I support it if the child is ready. I will not work on it if parents are not willing to at home. In a case where a parent is just refusing to for no good reason, and I know the child can and will use the toilet, I may term.
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Blackcat31 11:38 AM 12-07-2015
Originally Posted by HHdaycare12:
Hello I need a little bit of advice. I have a FT dcb who was 3 in July. Two weeks before Thanksgiving I, along with the boy's parents I was potty training him. I got dcb all potty trained, completely no accidents at all for 1 whole week. He was not going #2 at home, only here per Mom.Not sure how he made it thru the weekends...
(In my book after 3 full days of no accidents your basically good.) Well after Thanksgiving break boy comes back with a note from mom that says, "X child is no longer potty trained so we packed his pull ups. He had a poopy accident while driving and so we haven't attempted to have him sit or use the big potty as it embarrassed him. Sorry." QUOTED word for word. DCM tells me that they want him to know the feeling using pull ups before underwear. DCD (her husband) tells me that Mom does not want boy to grow up and so just listen to what she wants and we can start back up soon....For the record dcb is now going completely in pull ups every time. No longer tries potty at all and wants pull ups on all the time. What would you do? Keep him trained here then send him home in a pull up? Speak to mom who is not accepting at all when offering advice? Or just go with the pull ups until its "time again?" I just feel like all the hard work I put in is not appreciated and not helping the boy at all is wrong too. Suggestions appreciated Thanks!
I would listen to the parent. He is not trained.

I would not agree to Pullups until he is IN the training process and would require diapers.

I feel bad for the child but he is their child.

I would not feel badly about the work you put into training him because that should have been a parental responsibility and one you only supported (not completed for them). I know it makes your job easier to have him in underwear but the bottom line is he is their child and they have a right to do what they see fit for their child.

If their choices for parenting don't work for you and your program then your only option is to terminate services.

I in no way mean that harshly or rudely just being factual.

I'm sorry you have a parent/family that doesn't see the benefits of what you are/were trying to do. It's hard but as a child care provider you'll come across all sorts of parenting styles and it is always best to respect each family's wishes as long as it isn't abusive or extraordinarily cruel.
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Ariana 11:42 AM 12-07-2015
I would just keep doing what I was doing and when he leaves your house he is no longer a concern. It's up to you whether you continue at your house or not or if you want to put him in pullups but encourage him to use the toilet. I would do what works best for me and stay out of what is happening at home. Clearly mom is finding diapers easier to deal with and would rather delay her kid than work on it. It will be an uphill battle if you try and push her. If this is something you feel strongly about then term.
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