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Unregistered 06:07 AM 07-28-2017
Hello! I'm hoping to get some ideas from care providers because I'm concerned with my daughter's potty training progress. She is 26 months old and has shown herself to be capable. We did the 'weekend' training with her and then reinforced/closely monitored after that and she responded very well (no accidents, telling me when she needed to go, etc.). She is in daycare 2-3 days/week. We love her provider and she has a great time there.

Very understandably, she has a policy that kids need to stay in diapers until they've 'proven' themselves to her. Well, I don't know if my daughter is being lazy, is confused, or is just getting used to also using the potty in a new environment, but after 2 days at school, she has totally relapsed back to where she was on day 1 of potty training (peeing whenever, wherever). I don't want to have to start over with her each week after her couple days there, but I also don't feel it's appropriate to ask provider about changing her diaper policy as it's for hygienic purposes and it's a small in home daycare. However, I think if my daughter is wearing diapers, she will pee in them. Has anyone had this problem and come up with some sort of alternative solution I can't see right now? I'm at a loss for what to do.

Thank you in advance for any help.
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Ariana 07:19 AM 07-28-2017
In my experience putting a potty trained child in a pullup will not cause regression. I have trained a few kids using them and if a child is ready to use the bathroom they do not choose to go in their pullup.

My thoughts are that you are bringing her at certain intervals and she is relyng on that to stay dry. Your provider probably knows this. Potty trained kids do not need constant reminders and are able to stay dry on their own. The only time I remind kids to pee is before nap or if we go to the park.
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Blackcat31 07:38 AM 07-28-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
In my experience putting a potty trained child in a pullup will not cause regression. I have trained a few kids using them and if a child is ready to use the bathroom they do not choose to go in their pullup.

My thoughts are that you are bringing her at certain intervals and she is relyng on that to stay dry. Your provider probably knows this. Potty trained kids do not need constant reminders and are able to stay dry on their own. The only time I remind kids to pee is before nap or if we go to the park.


If you take a completely potty trained child and put them in diapers or Pull ups, they would not pee in them just because they are wearing them. A trained child does NOT want or like to be soiled or wet. NO MATTER what they are wearing.

I think your DD may be too young and not yet fully ready to be trained. A "ready" child will not take more than a few short days (which a parent can easily accommodate over a long weekend) to be trained.
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Indoorvoice 08:46 AM 07-28-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


If you take a completely potty trained child and put them in diapers or Pull ups, they would not pee in them just because they are wearing them. A trained child does NOT want or like to be soiled or wet. NO MATTER what they are wearing.

I think your DD may be too young and not yet fully ready to be trained. A "ready" child will not take more than a few short days (which a parent can easily accommodate over a long weekend) to be trained.
Agreed. Not quite ready.
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hottie8962 10:04 AM 07-28-2017
I do think for some kids if they are wearing a diaper/pull up they will use it.i have one now who new trained about three weeks ago,takes his self ,no accidents or reminders,no diapers while sleeping at home they wonder why he isn't full potty trained like here they use pull up and he just pees in them .I tried them one day on him He wont pee in his under wear because he don't like the wet feeling.He is younger than yours I don't think early age matters if there ready.
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happymom 10:19 AM 07-28-2017
I have a little bit of a different philosophy on this and am a parent as well and don't really agree with the "wait until they are ready" mantra. I think potty training is absolutely a learned process that doesn't happen overnight.

What you can do: work towards self initiation, EVERY TIME. Sometimes this can take 6+ weeks for a young potty trainer. It means she's still potty training and not potty trained and THAT'S OK. She WILL get it. Self initiation will come. Talk to your daycare provider, he/she may have a "2 weeks with no accidents at daycare" policy before switching to underpants. It won't ruin everything, I promise it will be okay. Just make sure you are consistent and she knows what to say in order to get help using the potty. My son tells his teacher "POTTY" and then teacher asks "pee or poop?". He is not speaking sentences yet, but that's how we do it at home so I asked daycare to do the same.

Being completely independent in the bathroom will come, but for now she might still need some help manipulating her clothing/washing her hands/etc. Continue working on all of these self help skills at home, having her dress herself as much as possible.

I also agree that your daycare provider can not give your daughter as much attention as you can at home and can not take in intervals or as often/needs reminders etc.

You can continue potty training in pull ups at daycare, if you wish. This is YOUR decision, not your daycare providers. Be respectful of their policy, all they are asking is that they do not have your child's urine all over their home. They get to choose is when she is allowed to wear underpants at daycare, but not whether they allow her to use the toilet when she asks. It should make no difference if she is in pull ups or a diaper.

A provider that forces a child to eliminate in a diaper/pull up when a child asks to use the toilet needs to be "fired" and you move to a new daycare.

*My son was completely self initiating at 20 months. We started potty training at 18 months. He is in daycare full time, also. He is still "potty training" in my eyes though, as he is not completely independent in the bathroom. He can't turn on the water unless he climbs on the counter (which I discourage) and still has a hard time getting his pants back up.
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Pestle 11:14 AM 07-28-2017
I'm with Happymom--I don't have the kids keep eliminating in diapers until they've got the self-initiated potty break locked down; I take them to the potty at regular intervals. Kids can be taught to get out of their pants, sit on the toilet, wipe, and wash and dry their hands before they have the control and awareness to manage the elimination itself.

However, most care providers don't operate that way, so you'll have to find a system that works for you and for your care provider.
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Ariana 11:43 AM 07-28-2017
I agree to keep doing these things at home. I don't know too many daycare providers who will not take a child to the potty and teach them self help skills like pulling pants up and down and washing hands. I have an 18 month old who asks to go the potty for fun and I oblige when I can. She gets lots of practice but she is not "ready" for full on undies and cannot control her bowels and bladder (which is a physical milestone not a psychological one). When she reaches the physical milestone it will take 2-3 days maximum for her to be fully trained with no accidents.

The ability to HOLD determines when potty learning happens.
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laundrymom 11:48 AM 07-28-2017
I've only been helping children potty learn since 1987 so might not have as much experience as some but might have more than others so here's my opinion.
It's awesome that she has learned at home so young. Great job momma and child!!!
Daycare will take more time because of distractions, time constraints, missed cues, etc etc etc.
Believe me, providers want them to learn. Lol. Have you ever had to stay on top of diapers for 7-10 children alone? We celebrate every single pee or poo in the potty. I promise.
As for the diaper policy, wear undies under the diaper. If she stays dry, fantastic. If not, no mess. She will feel the cloth so that should work for her.
Please remember, peeing in the potty at home and being potty learned in childcare are not the same thing. She needs to feel her body cues in enough time and with enough warning to get to the potty. Get her clothes off. Potty. Then wipe and redress herself. Plus washing her hands without getting contaminated hands on every bathroom surface before she's considered potty learned.
It's so hard in an active group environment.
Help your provider by making sure she can dress, undress, wipe, (both pee and poo) and wash up independently. That will give her confidence to do it at childcare.
Also, please don't get miffed at pee pants. At her or the provider. It's never intentional. I assure you.
It's hard to learn to potty.
And she's still so young.
Have a great weekend!!
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happymom 03:21 PM 07-28-2017
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Also, please don't get miffed at pee pants. At her or the provider. It's never intentional. I assure you.
It's hard to learn to potty.
This x10! Everyone is doing their very best, yourself, your child and your child care provider. Even if you are disappointed and your child has an "off" day - tell your provider thank you for working with you on potty training your girl and continue to be optimistic in everyone!
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Unregistered 04:34 PM 07-28-2017
Thank you all very much for your advice and support, it is super helpful!
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Unregistered 05:01 PM 07-28-2017
I would recommend the Gerber Terry lined training pants with built in water proof they are extra thick underwear can help with the mess but still feel the wet
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Tigerlilly 03:33 PM 07-31-2017
It takes a long time to fully potty train a child and regression is to be expected. I would say it takes close to a year from start to fully and reliably trained. That means no reminders and no accidents unless it was very unavoidable. An example of unavoidable would be what happened to my son last week. The bathroom door got stuck and he could not get in and he had an accident. Poor guy was really upset.
But playing and forgetting to go potty means they are still learning.

It just takes time before using the potty to become second nature to little ones.
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mommyneedsadayoff 10:10 PM 07-31-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Hello! I'm hoping to get some ideas from care providers because I'm concerned with my daughter's potty training progress. She is 26 months old and has shown herself to be capable. We did the 'weekend' training with her and then reinforced/closely monitored after that and she responded very well (no accidents, telling me when she needed to go, etc.). She is in daycare 2-3 days/week. We love her provider and she has a great time there.

Very understandably, she has a policy that kids need to stay in diapers until they've 'proven' themselves to her. Well, I don't know if my daughter is being lazy, is confused, or is just getting used to also using the potty in a new environment, but after 2 days at school, she has totally relapsed back to where she was on day 1 of potty training (peeing whenever, wherever). I don't want to have to start over with her each week after her couple days there, but I also don't feel it's appropriate to ask provider about changing her diaper policy as it's for hygienic purposes and it's a small in home daycare. However, I think if my daughter is wearing diapers, she will pee in them. Has anyone had this problem and come up with some sort of alternative solution I can't see right now? I'm at a loss for what to do.

Thank you in advance for any help.
I would do pull ups or diapers at daycare until she gets better at it at daycare. For my littles who have shown an interest in pottying in the toilet, they get to try at transitions when we change diapers/bathroom break. If they have messed their pull up, its no big deal and we just chamge it and move on. NO PRESSURE! Ime, a child who is ready will toilet train in a day or two with very little accidents or regression, unless a significant trauma/change occurs. It is not a month/year long process, and the besg thing to do is just let your little one tell you what they need, and she is telling you she is not fully ready yet, so give her some space and shd will figure it out.
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Ariana 11:10 AM 08-01-2017
Originally Posted by Tigerlilly:
It takes a long time to fully potty train a child and regression is to be expected. I would say it takes close to a year from start to fully and reliably trained. That means no reminders and no accidents unless it was very unavoidable. An example of unavoidable would be what happened to my son last week. The bathroom door got stuck and he could not get in and he had an accident. Poor guy was really upset.
But playing and forgetting to go potty means they are still learning.

It just takes time before using the potty to become second nature to little ones.
COMPLETELY DISAGREE. Not sure how many kids you have potty trained but if this has been your experience then you are training them way too early.
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Leigh 01:23 PM 08-01-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
COMPLETELY DISAGREE. Not sure how many kids you have potty trained but if this has been your experience then you are training them way too early.
I have to agree with this. The last kids that potty trained here did it in 1 day and 3 days. I would never want to go through, or put my child through, a year of potty training stress.
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lovemykidstoo 01:41 PM 08-01-2017
I have had a daycare for 16 years and have really not had huge issues with potty training.....until now. Maybe someone here that has had great success can get me past this roadblock. I have a dcb that turned 3 in April. Parents gave me notice that he was going off to full time preschool in September, so he wouldn't be with me anymore. Fine, I filled his spot with someone starting in November. The glitch is, he's not trained. We've been going through training since April. I went through months of putting him on the toilet every hour and had him go. He went each time. Then he would pee in his pullups or diaper, whatever he had on. Never has pooped on the toilet for me yet. He typically goes during naptime. Parents want him to wear underwear here and say that's the problem. I say no way because he has multiple accidents a week. He's here 50 hours. They say, he wears underwear at home with 90% success. So to wear underwear here, you need 100% success for 2 weeks straight. Them telling me that I think is even kinda funny because he's here until 5:30 every day and by the time he gets home and eats, they maybe have him 3 hours a day awake, so how much success is that? To go to preschool he has to do everything on his own. He's nowhere near that and it starts in 2 weeks. Any tips? He may be with me longer than they thought. The preschool has no exceptions to their rule
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Blackcat31 02:16 PM 08-01-2017
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I have had a daycare for 16 years and have really not had huge issues with potty training.....until now. Maybe someone here that has had great success can get me past this roadblock. I have a dcb that turned 3 in April. Parents gave me notice that he was going off to full time preschool in September, so he wouldn't be with me anymore. Fine, I filled his spot with someone starting in November. The glitch is, he's not trained. We've been going through training since April. I went through months of putting him on the toilet every hour and had him go. He went each time. Then he would pee in his pullups or diaper, whatever he had on. Never has pooped on the toilet for me yet. He typically goes during naptime. Parents want him to wear underwear here and say that's the problem. I say no way because he has multiple accidents a week. He's here 50 hours. They say, he wears underwear at home with 90% success. So to wear underwear here, you need 100% success for 2 weeks straight. Them telling me that I think is even kinda funny because he's here until 5:30 every day and by the time he gets home and eats, they maybe have him 3 hours a day awake, so how much success is that? To go to preschool he has to do everything on his own. He's nowhere near that and it starts in 2 weeks. Any tips? He may be with me longer than they thought. The preschool has no exceptions to their rule
90% is NOT trained.
Why are YOU devoting so much time to this when its not really netting you anything? Not even their money after they leave? Which I would NOT agree to keep him now since they already gave notice and you filled his space.

He isn't ready. They might be but clearly he isn't.

Like I said, 90% isn't trained and until he can wear underwear with a 100% rate at home he would NOT be wearing underwear at my house either. Not unless the parents are willing to put down a $1000 deposit to cover any and all cleaning costs associated with the 10% of the time he isn't trained.
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lovemykidstoo 02:30 PM 08-01-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
90% is NOT trained.
Why are YOU devoting so much time to this when its not really netting you anything? Not even their money after they leave? Which I would NOT agree to keep him now since they already gave notice and you filled his space.

He isn't ready. They might be but clearly he isn't.

Like I said, 90% isn't trained and until he can wear underwear with a 100% rate at home he would NOT be wearing underwear at my house either. Not unless the parents are willing to put down a $1000 deposit to cover any and all cleaning costs associated with the 10% of the time he isn't trained.
I couldn't agree more with everything you said. When the dad told me that he was 90% trained at home I said, oh is he telling you he has to go and is he taking his pants on and off by himself? Well, I ask him if he needs to go and then I suggest that he does go if he says no. I said "Oh so he really isn't doing it on his own then". Dad said nothing. Mom asked me if I had room for him because she's worried he won't be ready (he's not) and I told her he could stay until November. I'm not telling my new family that I can't take them now. My new family is a new baby so it could be November 1, it could be November 21 depends on when she delivers. This dcb's preschool has a December session, so maybe he'll be ready then. If he's not, he can stay with me until the baby comes and then they can figure something else out. So truly, no skin off me if he's trained or not. She has asked me about 8 times to wear underwear and I keep telling her the same thing about 2 weeks. I said, sorry, I'm not cleaning everything when he has an accident. Not happening. Oh not to mention, they just moved, so you know how changes in a toddlers life affects things too. They are determined to have him go to full time preschool because the dad works for the district and it's a fraction of the cost of here, so oh well.
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Tags:milestones - potty trained, potty training, potty training regression
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