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Baby Beluga 02:12 PM 04-09-2019
DCB is 3 years 5 months and started with me when he was 12 months. He is very smart and very hard headed.

I have built in bathroom breaks/diapers changes into our schedule every 1.5 hours. DCB is almost always wet and he almost always pees in the toilet. Kid is VERY hydrated

For the past few weekends at home he has been wearing underwear and has remained dry. Including errands. Yesterday he was dry here the entire day. Today it is back to square one.

Usually a child remains in a diaper or pull up here for 2 weeks accident free then they graduate to wearing underwear. Do you think this may be a situation where he is going in his diaper because he knows he has a diaper on? Usually I am of the mindset that a true potty trained child will not wet themselves regardless of what they are wearing. But I am wondering if he is the odd one out where he truly does need to be in underwear. Was thinking of trying him in underwear with a pull up or plastic pants on top for a few days and seeing if it makes a difference? Is this a bad idea?

FWIW: mom is putting no pressure on him or me for the child to be in underwear. But I kind of feel like he can, he just doesn't want to?
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AmyKidsCo 02:39 PM 04-09-2019
If he's staying dry I'd try it. Most kids don't like the feeling of wet pants or pee running down their legs so it may just tip him over the edge to being fully trained.

I made the fatal error of keeping our boys in pull ups at night, just in case. That ended up delaying their ability to stay dry at night. AND sometimes the younger one would pee in the pull up after getting up instead of using the toilet because it was easier.
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e.j. 02:41 PM 04-09-2019
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
DCB is 3 years 5 months and started with me when he was 12 months. He is very smart and very hard headed.

I have built in bathroom breaks/diapers changes into our schedule every 1.5 hours. DCB is almost always wet and he almost always pees in the toilet. Kid is VERY hydrated

For the past few weekends at home he has been wearing underwear and has remained dry. Including errands. Yesterday he was dry here the entire day. Today it is back to square one.

Usually a child remains in a diaper or pull up here for 2 weeks accident free then they graduate to wearing underwear. Do you think this may be a situation where he is going in his diaper because he knows he has a diaper on? Usually I am of the mindset that a true potty trained child will not wet themselves regardless of what they are wearing. But I am wondering if he is the odd one out where he truly does need to be in underwear. Was thinking of trying him in underwear with a pull up or plastic pants on top for a few days and seeing if it makes a difference? Is this a bad idea?

FWIW: mom is putting no pressure on him or me for the child to be in underwear. But I kind of feel like he can, he just doesn't want to?
I'm not sure if it's a good idea or not but it has worked for me in the past. I had a couple of kids who potty trained so quickly that I wanted the assurance of a Pull Up until I was sure they could stay accident free at my house. After a week or two of wearing a Pull Up over underwear without a problem, we stopped the Pull Ups. It didn't set them back at all and I didn't feel the anxiety that usually comes with a kid wearing underwear at my house until they can prove themselves to me.
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Indoorvoice 06:53 AM 04-10-2019
My daughter who is 2.5 just potty trained this way. I was keeping her in diapers because she would not keep them dry even though she was able to use the toilet when I asked her. I put her in undies with plastic covers over and it only took 2 accidents for her to realize she was not a fan of peeing her pants. I think it helped her recognize the sensation of "I have to go NOW".
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Blackcat31 07:09 AM 04-10-2019
I don't know..... I kind of agree with just doing it as it would make your life easier but at the same time being a bit jaded I think there are a lot of parents that are simply too lazy to do it or they know their provider will do it for them.

So for me, it would be a matter of principle.
If it's about making your life easier though go for it!

A big factor to consider is whether or not the parents will continue to follow through IF you start.
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Ariana 09:53 AM 04-10-2019
I have never had a pull-up interfere with potty training. Can you do pull-ups instead of diapers since they act similar in that they pull up and down?
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happymom 11:26 AM 04-10-2019
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga:
For the past few weekends at home he has been wearing underwear and has remained dry. Including errands. Yesterday he was dry here the entire day. Today it is back to square one.
It sounds like mom is working with him at home a lot and that he is close to ready. Personally, I'd definitely try ditching the diapers in daycare at least 2 days and see how it goes. It might just be the only push he needs.

Maybe mention it to mom and see what she thinks?
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Ariana 11:36 AM 04-10-2019
Oh I should add that I had a child a couple of years ago that would stay dry at home but not in my house (apparently). He would have dry days with me but then days where he would pee a full bladder on my floor without even catching himself. I had to go back to pullups for him indefinitely. It took another month or so before he was fully trained. I think the difference was that mom and dad had a potty in their living room and I obviously didn’t and they took him every hour. He was not getting that practice of recognizing he had to pee, say he has to pee and hold it to go to the toilet. He was simply emptying his bladder on their watch and not feeling the sensation to pee at all.
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Baby Beluga 01:03 PM 04-10-2019
I am still on the fence

I feel like the parents would follow through. I think. I would need to talk to mom about it. When they started the process at home they allowed DCB to be in the their house totally nude so he would use the bathroom. I guess at home that worked, from what she told me. I am also guessing this confused DCB since he can't be nude anywhere else. Monday she did not say anything to me about potty training, but I told her via text that DCB has remained dry all morning long (this was a first for him) and she told me her remained dry all weekend (except for sleep) and was in underwear.

I am thinking starting this Monday? Having DCP use underwear (or underwear next to his skin and a pull up on top) over the weekend to jump start this and then doing it M - Th next week (I am closed Fri.) to see how he does. If he is not remaining dry by Thur then we will need to return to just diapers. But if he stays dry then we can continue to do the underwear pull-up combo until he is dry for weeks. Thoughts?

My only concern is he is not telling me at all when he needs to go. So it's making me wonder if he has made the mind/body connection yet and is being stubborn or if the connection isn't there.
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happymom 02:55 PM 04-10-2019
I'm guessing the connection is not there.

Talk to mom about how important it is for him to learn the connection and have her focus with him on that over the weekend. Lora Jensen's 3-day potty training method focuses on this, in underwear.

Make it clear what you expect. "If _____ we can continue, and if he remains dry for 2 weeks straight we can move to underpants only"

"By Thursday if _____, then we will move back to diapers and can try again when he is truly ready"
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Ariana 07:06 PM 04-10-2019
I am going through something similar except my parents are crazy with the potty training. They have been trying to potty train her since she was born which has lead to chronic constipation issues. She currently still pees in her diaper (sometimes poops but mostly holds it) and NEVER asks me to go but mom and dad are going to be putting her in undies at home in a couple of weeks. They tried a few weeks earlier this year and of course it was a no go as well. They are continuously taking her at home, she never asks to go. I continually reiterate that no amount of taking her or “training” her can speed up the physiological process of a mature bladder and making the mind body connection. But what do I know, I just do this for a living

In my opinion and experience, a child who is not asking to go is not being given the chance to ask, so the first thing the parents have to do is stop taking him when he has not asked. Then he will start to make the mind body conneciton. Right now he is learning that he goes to the toilet when his parents think he should, not when he needs to. That is the first step. Hopefully your parents listen because mine won’t
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