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Old 05-18-2021, 11:16 AM
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Default Common?!

I have an 11 month old in care who has been with me for two months. Every time I walk out of his sight, he starts crying. After about a month, the crying improved and he wasnít crying every time I had to walk away as I thought he was getting used to our routine here. That only lasted about two weeks though and he has been back to crying each time I walk away. Some days he even cries when I get up and change locations in the room where he can still see me.
Mom and dad pulled him from his last daycare because they were told he spent so much of his day crying for the same reason and they thought he was unhappy there. They mentioned he has started doing this at home as well now in the last couple of weeks.
How long does a child go through separation aniexty? From the sounds of it, he had been doing this in his previous daycare for several months too. So he has been going through this since 4-5 months old.
The odd thing to me is he does not have separation anxiety when mom or dad hand him to me each morning, even from the first day.
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Old 05-18-2021, 01:22 PM
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Michael Michael is online now
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Welcome to the forum. Here are some posts for separation anxiety:
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Old 05-18-2021, 01:29 PM
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I had a pt baby that did this, I dealt with it because he was pt and I needed the spot filled. It lasted until he learned to walk. Now he does not care where I am or if I am there.

Have you tried narrating yourself to him. "Miss x is going to go sit in the block area, would Jimmy like to follow Miss X to the block area?" Then get up and move.

I am not sure if it will work but it is worth a shot.
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Old 05-19-2021, 07:51 AM
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Itís a phase they go through that is very common when adjusting to a new caregiver. The parents unfortunately made this much worse by switching providers. That has caused even more stress and heightened separation anxiety. Once he learns that he is in a safe space it will go away. It might come back if they go on vacation or something soon after he started but otherwise he should be ok. I would just reassure him in a calm voice and then ignore. Itís something that he has to go through, poor little guy
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Old 05-19-2021, 06:07 PM
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I have this kid! Hes my favorite kid too. At first, he would cry and scream if he couldn't see me, EVEN if i said "Im going potty, be right back" or "Im gonna feed fish face, right over here" Drove me nuts, He was my second skin. We asked mom to bring a lovey to daycare, so he carried this darn sloth everywhere. He still cried when i walked away. This went on for almost 3 months. Then one day it was like a switch flipped. Now as long as he knows where I am, or where I am going, I can be free! I think one of the main switch flippers was I took a day off (center) and he had to spend a whole day with my co teacher.
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Old 05-28-2021, 09:11 AM
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I had a child like this. She was almost 2 though.

The first few days I held her constantly as she sobbed. If I got up (to attend to another child, cook lunch, get art set up etc) she would literally freak out. She'd start shrieking, shaking, flailing her body around, hitting me/the other kids/whatever was close by. There was literally no improvement over the next 3 months. I eventually had to stop holding her for the 10 straight hours but she'd literally shriek (the tears went away after the first month or so and she'd just stand there shrieking over and over like a siren) the whole day. And I mean SHRIEKING. Not even screaming but like actual, painfully high pitched and loud shrieks that would have even other parents grabbing their ears and running out of the house. I tried everything - and gave it ample time, hence the 3 months - but in the end, I just couldn't take it anymore. The parents were no help (they wanted me to just hold her all day) so I termed. My only termination ever, but everyone was miserable with her here.

Watch out for your own sanity. Sometimes it just isn't a match. I was considering quitting childcare all together because of how miserable I was with this one child. We couldn't do anything, it was just constant trying to appease her so that we could stop the literal pain of her voice in our ears. It was only 3 months out of my 10 years' experience but this would have been the child that broke me.

I see so many stories on here of providers that are so miserable but feel like they can't do anything about it. Hopefully your situation is temporary (Ive had screamers before but this was the first time I couldn't help) but if you start feeling I overwhelmed, just know that you can tap out at anytime. My little group has been so much happier since I figured that out.
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11 month old, adjusting to daycare, crying - for parents, crying - how long, narrators, separation anxiety, transition to new care

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