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Old 08-12-2010, 09:27 AM
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Default dcg Breaking Toys and Ripping Books Apart on Purpose

Hi everyone, I'm new here and think this is great forum I only wish I knew about it when I first started doing daycare. My issue is I have a dcg that breaks toys and rips books apart on purpose, just this moring I caught her doing it again and when I asked why she did it she said I dunno I just thought it would be funny. She then said she felt like being mean to my dd(she broke my daughters toy and it was her book she ripped apart), when I asked her what her parents would say she said they don't care and started laughing. I put her in timeout and told her that she cannot play with any toys or books at quiet time and quite frankly she doesn't care. The only time she got upset was when I told her I would have to talk to her dad about it then she started to cry.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop her from doing this?

Last edited by Michael; 08-12-2010 at 11:20 AM.
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Old 08-12-2010, 09:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elle73 View Post
Hi everyone, I'm new here and think this is great forum I only wish I knew about it when I first started doing daycare. My issue is I have a dcg that breaks toys and rips books apart on purpose, just this moring I caught her doing it again and when I asked why she did it she said I dunno I just thought it would be funny. She then said she felt like being mean to my dd(she broke my daughters toy and it was her book she ripped apart), when I asked her what her parents would say she said they don't care and started laughing. I put her in timeout and told her that she cannot play with any toys or books at quiet time and quite frankly she doesn't care. The only time she got upset was when I told her I would have to talk to her dad about it then she started to cry.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop her from doing this?
I have never had this happen, but I know friends have- one friend told the 3 yr. old girl-"How would you like it if I went to your house and broke all your toys and ripped all your books???I would definately tell the parents everytime she breaks or rips a book- tell them, if this behavior doesn't stop, she will not be allowed to play with any of your things. Hopefully they can talk to her and tell her she won't be able to play with any of your things any longer. It is totally not worth it, to have one break all toys and books. I know I would be so mad if I had someone do it here!!!! Have you tried timeouts at all?
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Old 08-12-2010, 09:59 AM
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I have asked her would you like it if someone went to your house and broke your toys and she just says ok and shrugs her shoulders. I have talked to her dad about it before and he will try to get her to say sorry but she will throw a fit and he ends up saying sorry instead. I guess I'm just frustrated because it seems like these parents think oh well that's part of running of daycare.
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:06 AM
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No way jose. I would make an ordeal about it and I would be telling Dad every SINGLE time she did it. So that he knows that is totally unacceptable. Honestly, if it continues, I would probably terminate because that shows a severe lack of respect from parents and child!
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:08 AM
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i would give her only "unbreakable" toys to play with, like wood blocks, and thats it. i wouldnt allow her to play with anything else. how old is she?


or better yet, i'd save all the stuff she breaks, and put it in a box. THAT would be what she got to play with. her own box of broken junk.
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:10 AM
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I have one that was ripping books (even figured out how to tear a board book) I gave him three tries and then reminded him that he couldn't play with the books if he kept ripping them. THen after the third time I followed through. He gets to listen to stories and such, but not hold the books. I do let him hold onto cloth books.

For the toys, I had a little gal that was very rough with them. It's in my policy that toys that are broken on purpose and such will be charged to the parents. I haven't had to do this yet, but wanted to cover costs if need be. I only let her play with the toys that I knew she wouldn't break easily.

I would just have this little gal play with certain fairly unbreakable items and if she still breaks them, then give her some cloth books for a time, see if that helps. Definately let the parents know, but I agree, she shouldn't be playing with the toys if she breaks them. If nothing else, give them a Toy Replacement bill to cover the cost of replacing the toys.

Good luck to you and hang in there
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:14 AM
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Maybe even telling the parents that if she continues to do it then you will be sending home a bill....maybe the "threat" will be enough.
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:15 AM
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Give her parents a bill for the toys she is breaking on purpose and that might stop her.
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:46 AM
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Parent replace broken toys & books & if it continues to be a problem they are termed.
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Old 08-12-2010, 10:47 AM
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Thanks for the advice everyone!! I think I will tell dad that if this happens one more time then I will start charging for any toys or books that she breaks. Maybe this is what they need to start teaching dcg to respect other people's property.

Last edited by Michael; 08-12-2010 at 10:56 AM.
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Old 08-12-2010, 11:20 AM
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Thanks for the advice everyone!! I think I will tell dad that if this happens one more time then I will start charging for any toys or books that she breaks. Maybe this is what they need to start teaching dcg to respect other people's property.
This is what I would do also. It does seem like there isn't any respect at all, even with the parents- Hopefully it will stop!!!! Good luck!!
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Old 08-12-2010, 11:52 AM
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Red face

I had a thought when reading the other responses-

How about setting up an area (like a dry water table or whatever) where you can have an activity that is minimally aggressive? Like pulling apart marshmallows or cotton balls or ripping up cardboard...tearing paper...whatever. Along with a lesson on when it's ok to do that kind of thing. You can call it something cute, like "wild time" and follow it with 'fix it time' where they try to put it back together.

Also, I saw on another thread the 'Book Hospital'...maybe have her help fix the books with tape (I'm unsure of her age) instead of throwing them out...

I don't know, I'm just trying to think outside the box today, maybe a little too much? Tomorrow's the last day of my Summer Camp program, and I am burnt out.
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Old 08-12-2010, 12:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missnikki View Post
I had a thought when reading the other responses-

How about setting up an area (like a dry water table or whatever) where you can have an activity that is minimally aggressive? Like pulling apart marshmallows or cotton balls or ripping up cardboard...tearing paper...whatever. Along with a lesson on when it's ok to do that kind of thing. You can call it something cute, like "wild time" and follow it with 'fix it time' where they try to put it back together.

Also, I saw on another thread the 'Book Hospital'...maybe have her help fix the books with tape (I'm unsure of her age) instead of throwing them out...

I don't know, I'm just trying to think outside the box today, maybe a little too much? Tomorrow's the last day of my Summer Camp program, and I am burnt out.
ITA with this. Perfect advice!
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Old 08-12-2010, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missnikki View Post
I had a thought when reading the other responses-

How about setting up an area (like a dry water table or whatever) where you can have an activity that is minimally aggressive? Like pulling apart marshmallows or cotton balls or ripping up cardboard...tearing paper...whatever. Along with a lesson on when it's ok to do that kind of thing. You can call it something cute, like "wild time" and follow it with 'fix it time' where they try to put it back together.

Also, I saw on another thread the 'Book Hospital'...maybe have her help fix the books with tape (I'm unsure of her age) instead of throwing them out...

I don't know, I'm just trying to think outside the box today, maybe a little too much? Tomorrow's the last day of my Summer Camp program, and I am burnt out.
That's a great idea. I actually just talked to dcd and he apologized and even offered to replace the toy and book before I said anything about charging him, I was kind of shocked lol. When he asked her to say sorry she refused and started crying and screaming and he just let it go and he said sorry instead, they are nice people its just they cave in to dcg alot and don't inforce any discipline or rules.
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Old 08-12-2010, 01:49 PM
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I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who responded, its so nice to talk to someone who understands what it's like to run a daycare and have to deal with things we do.
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Old 08-12-2010, 02:54 PM
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I have it in my handbook, that if anything gets ruined, the parents are responsible for the replacement cost. I'm sure the first time you sent them the bill, they would take it more seriously, and it would stop, if not, get rid of her!
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Old 08-13-2010, 08:48 AM
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Originally Posted by melskids View Post
i would give her only "unbreakable" toys to play with, like wood blocks, and thats it. i wouldnt allow her to play with anything else. how old is she?


or better yet, i'd save all the stuff she breaks, and put it in a box. THAT would be what she got to play with. her own box of broken junk.
I like this idea!
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Old 08-13-2010, 09:41 AM
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I like the idea of a box of broken junk. I'll have to remember that one.

I've had this happen to me before too. I also just let DCB play with non-breakable toys (blocks and large legos). He was not happy. I also had a talk with mom when he got picked up. I never bothered to tell him I was doing it so that he wouldn't cry or fuss or argue about it. I just let his mom come in and when he ran over to her I told him to tell her what happened.

The first time it happened I warned her (in writing) that if I caught him again that I would replace whatever it was that he broke and add it to the next week's rate. Doing this made sure that mom wouldn't just go home and leave it at that. Many times parent's don't take things like this seriously until you say something that'll affect their pockets . I don't think he was punished at home or even talked to about it and he kept destroying things and each day I'd let her know that something else was broken/torn. At the end of the next week I gave her an itemized list of everything and broke the cost down. If I remember correctly it was around $30-$35 dollars worth of stuff (mostly books). She wasn't too happy but I did notice a HUGE imrovement with him the following week. He threw a small toy car or something that was worth a few dollars (yes I charged her for that too). I would still catch him about to do something or theowing something and remind him about it but he didn't break actually break anything intentionally for a while. I could tell at that point that he knew it was serious business with mom after that.

I have a policy about it. This is what it says:

Damages
Please respect the childcare providerís profession, home, family and self. A certain amount of normal wear and tear is expected where children are concerned however; we would not want to have the home destroyed.

Intentional Damages
We believe children are responsible for their actions and we teach them to respect other peoplesí property and the value of those items. If a child intentionally damages the home, toys, furnishings, equipment, or other property the parent will be responsible for paying for or replacing the damaged item(s). The amount for damaged item(s) will be assessed and researched by the provider and will include only the cost of replacing the item, or similar item if an exact replacement cannot be found, and any fees such as tax, shipping, delivery etc. if applicable.
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