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  #1  
Old 10-12-2010, 09:11 AM
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sahm2three sahm2three is offline
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Default How Do You Handle a Loss and Still Having to Work?

Just wondering. Struggling a bit, and wondering how you all handle it. Thanks.
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:29 AM
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i just wanted to say i am sorry for your loss, and i am sending prayers your way.

i remember getting the phone call for both of my grandparents passing's during daycare hours. they were both very difficult days to get through, especially with little ones here wondering why i was upset. im not sure of your circumstances exactly, but we are all here to talk if you need us.
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:29 AM
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I closed for a few days. Dont feel guilty about doing so, you need time to mourn. I was very lucky both times my families were very understanding. I think the 2nd time if someone complained I would have terminated them for being disrespectful.
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:29 AM
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So sorry, you are in my prayers! I wish I had advice, but losses are hard to deal with no matter what you do. You just try to be strong, try not to think about it, and when you do get emotional about it...try not to take it out on anyone. Keep yourself as busy as you can. Personally, God has helped me through all of my life's hardships. I hope you have something in your life to support you, whether that be faith, or a great family or great friends.
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:37 AM
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Is there any vacation time you could take? If you feel comfortable with the subject matter tell parents, something has happened and I need to take a few days off...and then try to schedule something out with them.
Maybe when the children leave you could get out the house, go do something you enjoy, see a friend or go to a coffee shop to get some time alone.
I hope whatever your going through passes and ((hugs)) to you!
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:37 AM
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It may sound strange, but working with the kids has always helped me to cope with trying times. On days when I'm feeling blue, I often will sit down and pull one of the little ones onto my lap for some snuggles. I guess it just is comforting to me.
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:40 AM
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sending you lots of hugs and i'm so sorry for your loss...

when i lost my dad i took off for a week. i took no pay as my parents had been working so much with me for that entire month prior to his loss (me going to hospital,etc) and my DH took off from his work to be my daycare provider. the paretns were happy my DH helped them. thankfully he has vacation pay.
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:42 AM
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I almost had to fly out to AZ when we thought we were going to lose my grandma ( turned out we didnt thankfully she is still alive ) but you would be surprised as your parents would probably be very understanding as mine were.

I wouldnt have charged them for the time I took off.

Prayers sent your way !
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Old 10-12-2010, 10:18 AM
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Back in January....after several attempts to get pregnant and after a fertility treatment...being told I wasn't pregnant (again)....I lost it for a bit. I went in the bathroom to cry for a minute and then sucked it up and got going. Same thing happened in May when we were told that we would never get pregnant. Then, again when my best friend told me she was moving away. None of these can relate to the loss of a person but I was very careful to try not to think about it. To also explain to the kids if they asked, that I was hurting and this is how I showed it. It's OK to be sad and it's OK for the kids to see you grieving. It helps them to process emotions by seeing others. However, if you are blabbering mess (like I would be), I would probably have someone come take over for me or call parents to pick up kids so you can have a few hours of solitude.
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Old 10-12-2010, 12:07 PM
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I may have to take some time off. I have some major high needs kids in my dc, lucky me, so it is taking a lot out of me right now. Thanks everyone.
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Old 10-12-2010, 02:24 PM
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I was a nanny when my parents died, about 18 months apart. When my dad died I didn't take any time off and was ok with that. Taking care of my babies seemed to be the thing I needed. When my mother died, in my living room, after a year of fighting cancer, my two babies were here with me in my home. Their parents were out of the state on business. Somehow, keeping it together for them was all I could think to do. I don't know what I would have done with time off. Slept, maybe. I was exhausted. Mom died on a Wed, funeral on Fri, bridal shower on Sun for daughter, back to work on Mon. I did take Fri off for the funeral but my babies were with me all day as were the parents. That summer was pretty crazy. Mom died and both daughters got married within 2.5 months.

Do what you gotta do. Don't expect the parents to care enough to act on your behalf. They only care about their own situation no matter what they will have you believe.
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Old 10-12-2010, 04:16 PM
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You do whatever you need to do to take good care of yourself. Those families who cannot respect an unexpected life event are in for a real surprise one day.

It's not all Hollywood, all the time- we paste on our smiles and say "I'm doing great!" when asked, and sometimes that's enough. Then there are those times, God forbid... That no amount of paste will keep that smile intact. That's when we pull out the Big Guns- Family, Friends, Memories, Comfort Foods, WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Big hugs to you and yours.
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Old 10-13-2010, 03:28 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss.
My Uncle passed away Sat night and the funeral is tommorrow. Not one of my dcp said a word to me about it. I was scheduled to have all the kids thur. 2 of them switched to yesterday. Mom's not woking now so it doesn't matter what days. The other is coming today. She said that this puts her in a bind with her mom's work. Her mom watches girl Mon and Wed. I told everyone Mon about it.
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