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  #1  
Old 01-05-2011, 10:38 AM
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SunflowerMama SunflowerMama is offline
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Default WWYD?? Broken Property

Over the last 2 days my hardest dcb (almost 3) had done some damage around my home. Yesterday he was hitting a portion of my fence (admittedly a weak spot) and broke a good 3ft chunk off the horizontal board at the bottom of the fence.

I told dad I didn't expect them to pay (b/c it was a weak spot) but just wanted them to know because all the kids had been told over and over not to hit the fence especially at that part.

The 2nd incident was today and much more hurtful to me. I have the cutest wooden table with matching chairs that I got off CL for $50 (worth much more I'm guessing). He is always getting in trouble for laying on it or climbing on it. Today while I was setting up for nap he flipped it over and pulled on one of the legs and broke the whole thing off. I'm so sad and livid at the same time.

What would you do as far as expectations from the parents or does it just come with the territory?

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Old 01-05-2011, 10:42 AM
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Do you have anything in your policy about damages? Or have you talked to parents before the fence issue about his ruffness? If yes then I would have the parents pay for the damage, if not then I would tell parents that from this point on the will be billed for damages. You should also have an admendment writen up for your policy about damages being added & have everyone sign & date it so there is no questions about it later on.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:45 AM
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Oooh, that is a tough one because he is the age he is at. Part of me says it comes with the territory but a part of me says that since he has been told so many times beore about laying on the table that the parents should have to pay to repair it. My contract says that normal wear and tear does come with the business but anything a child willfully destroys is at the parents expense...especially if I have given the parents a warning about their child's behavior before in regards to destruction of things. I don't specify any ages for who and when they are responsible I just say that if I have had to talk to parents about their kid wrecking things then the next time they do it the parents have to pay for it. He is young, but he knows better than to flip it over like that because he has been told before. Maybe split the cost of repairing or replacing with the parent....
Obviously the actions the parents took in regards to the broken fence weren't stern enough if the child is still destructive. Sometimes, IMPO, if parents are financially responsible for their child's behavior it forces them to parent. Not always, but sometimes. Sorry I wasn't much help.
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Old 01-05-2011, 10:55 AM
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The thing is I have talked to the parents on numerous occassions about his behavior bc it really has been hard since he started. They say they are having similar problems at home with him not listening or just being defiant. But like someone said he's just at a rough age. He has on older brother who will be 5 in April and he is definitely more well behaved.

Since the fence just happened yesterday I don't know how much would have sunk in if mom and dad talked to him but maybe I'll just tell mom and see what she offers. She feels awful about his behavior here but nothing is working for them at home either.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:14 AM
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Are you earning enough to make keeping him worth it?
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunflowerMama View Post
The thing is I have talked to the parents on numerous occassions about his behavior bc it really has been hard since he started. They say they are having similar problems at home with him not listening or just being defiant. But like someone said he's just at a rough age. He has on older brother who will be 5 in April and he is definitely more well behaved.

Since the fence just happened yesterday I don't know how much would have sunk in if mom and dad talked to him but maybe I'll just tell mom and see what she offers. She feels awful about his behavior here but nothing is working for them at home either.


I would send a note home with a bill. I put a section about damages in my contract. One dcg I have broke my pack and play and the mother paid me for it.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Catherder View Post
Are you earning enough to make keeping him worth it?
This is kind of where I am in my thinking these days. I'm full with a waiting list and I watch him and his brother with a small sibling discount. So I could actually let them go and take 2 from the waiting list. M thought was that his brother will be heading to kinder in the fall so I thought mom might move the 3yr old somewhere else but I don't know if my home will survive that long. And a new piece of news I got from the 4yr old today...mom is pregnant with another boy. She hasn't mentioned it to me yet so I don't know what their plan is with the new baby coming.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:39 AM
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Seems a perfect opportunity to test the waters, then, since you can afford to lose him. Give her a bill.

Costing her money may make her "work" harder on the issue OR pull him. Either way you win and it sets a precedent with the rest of your group that you will not tolerate destructive behavior. YKWIM?
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Old 01-05-2011, 01:24 PM
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I am of the opinion that it goes with the territory. Damaged property is a job risk as far as i'm concerned. I once had two boys that were climbing on my rocking chair while i was fixing lunch. They pulled it over and it broke in numerous pieces. I was heart sick as my husband had bought and stained it for me when I was pregnant with our last baby. I didn't even consider asking the parents to pay to fix it, though i did tell them if destructive behavior continued I would term them, they were a relatively new family. My father was able to repair it, but it is a gently used piece of furniture now. It is now in my room rather then the living room. Long story short, i figure if I'm watching them, what they do under my care is my problem. If they broke something out front while on the way into daycare under their parents supervision, that would be a different story, but during daycare hours, I don't think parents should have to pay.
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Old 01-05-2011, 02:49 PM
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I would mention it to the parents and see if they volunteered to pay. If it were my child, I'd feel badly and try to make it right. But, I think you have to tread carefully, because they might turn around and question why he was able to do this without you seeing & stepping in sooner. Especially if he's only 2.
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Old 01-05-2011, 05:48 PM
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What did you end up doing?
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Old 01-05-2011, 06:03 PM
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What did you end up doing?
Dad picked up and wanted to set a time to chat. Mom is calling to chat about everything tonight.
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Old 01-05-2011, 06:05 PM
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I agree, you need to add it to your policy...
There are some kids that are out of control and the parents dont give a _____________.... No matter how many times you talk to them they will do nothing about it...its so sad that some parents have no respect for your stuff so neither do the kids


Also something to think about.....when I started my daycare, I took out anything of meaning or value that a child would not be able to touch or use....making it a positive enviornment for them instead of always saying dont touch this or that....

I then moved my furniture so that it would also block off areas that i did not want the kids to go...

they have a very large play room for them. I even make the parents come to the playroom to pick up so that kids can not run freely in my living room and possibly break something.
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Old 01-05-2011, 07:01 PM
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interested in hearing how that phone call went.
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Old 01-05-2011, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by momatheart View Post
interested in hearing how that phone call went.
She rescheduled the call to tomorrow night.
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Old 01-05-2011, 09:46 PM
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Whatever happens from this specific event, or current events, I would be taking a picture and putting it in the child's folder or somewhere just to have the proof of what happened. Even if you're not asking them to replace the fence, it's still an event that shouldn't have happened. Then, is the table leg able to be fixed or is the damage so great that it's garbage? You could ask if the parents want to take it home to fix it for you if you think they can do a decent job or else ask them for a current value of the item to purchase another child sized table or they can find one to replace it for you. If they find a new one to replace, it might not be what you want, so I was be very certain if you do offer that with giving them the option of purchasing it from a specific store so you know if it will work well in your daycare. I would ask them to do something or else tell them it's the last warning they'll get before fulling paying or else termination notice. It's a good thing you have a waiting list. Besides, you will be unable to take her new baby if you've got a waiting list unless current siblings take precedence (spelling?) over the general waiting list.
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