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Old 11-02-2016, 02:57 AM
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Default I Don't Use Time Out Anymore But....

And I'm not even sure if this qualifies as the same thing. Yesterday a 3 yo dcg and a 2 yo dcg started arguing about a toy and before I could interact with them, 2 yo scratched 3 yo's cheek. We happened to be right next to the kitchen table so I put her cute lil self right down in a chair and firmly said NO, we do NOT hurt people. Scratching hurts. This scratching(and pushing) has become an ongoing thing with this 2 yo and her twin sister. Both twins' faces are all scratched up. This happened earlyish in the day and neither of the twins scratched the rest of the day. I think a different reaction than what they're used to, stopped her cold at the moment. Hope the scratching and pushing stop soon. Makes for an unfun day.

The 3 yo isn't faultless in all this because she's gotten pushy lately, and now even more so with her baby sister here too.
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Old 11-02-2016, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
And I'm not even sure if this qualifies as the same thing. Yesterday a 3 yo dcg and a 2 yo dcg started arguing about a toy and before I could interact with them, 2 yo scratched 3 yo's cheek. We happened to be right next to the kitchen table so I put her cute lil self right down in a chair and firmly said NO, we do NOT hurt people. Scratching hurts. This scratching(and pushing) has become an ongoing thing with this 2 yo and her twin sister. Both twins' faces are all scratched up. This happened earlyish in the day and neither of the twins scratched the rest of the day. I think a different reaction than what they're used to, stopped her cold at the moment. Hope the scratching and pushing stop soon. Makes for an unfun day.

The 3 yo isn't faultless in all this because she's gotten pushy lately, and now even more so with her baby sister here too.
It's tough when dealing with siblings.
Especially siblings that young and that close in age.

I'd try to keep them separated on purpose as much as possible. Let the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" work for you.

I'd venture to say they fight/bicker alot simply due to their young age and their closeness in age coupled with the fact that they probably play at home together alot.

Another issue I see a lot with siblings is that the general consensus around home is that the older one is always directed towards giving in to the younger one so that the squabbling is kept to a minimum.
That usually creates a very unbalanced relationship for two little ones just learning about sharing and playing "together". I imagine that's a hard concept for the youngest one to understand when they are used to being the victor in most conflicts.

I'd separate them and make them "show" you they are capable of playing together nicely.

After they've played alone, let them play together.
At the first sign of a squabble they can't peaceful solve, separate them.

If you are swift and quick in doing this, it won't take long for them to learn that playing together comes with responsibilities and expectations of behavior.

Good luck! Like I said, I think siblings are hard.
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Old 11-02-2016, 06:12 AM
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Just curious...what other ways to discipline do you use? I have one that pushes pretty much every boundary (pushing, biting, screaming, tantrums, the wonderful stage of "no!") and time out is NOT working. Looking for other options
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Old 11-02-2016, 07:38 AM
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Just curious...what other ways to discipline do you use? I have one that pushes pretty much every boundary (pushing, biting, screaming, tantrums, the wonderful stage of "no!") and time out is NOT working. Looking for other options
ANY physical behavior that is harmful to others results in separation of the child. If they can't be nice to their friends, they don't get to have access to their friends.

It's all very much like biting. I will not allow a child (of ANY age) to harm another. If I cannot keep the instigator or the one doing the hurting from others, then I terminate care.

My job is to provide a SAFE environment for ALL kids enrolled and if one child prohibits me from doing that on a regular basis and no amount of redirecting or separating curbs that, they have to go.
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Old 11-02-2016, 07:39 AM
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I also have twin girls that are mean to each other often without provocation. I do know the parents (2 moms) favor the smaller twin (they are identical and personally I have to put them side by side to tell them apart as the size difference is minimal). They will hit, pull hair, push, and have even bitten once or twice.

I do what Blackcat31 has suggested. I keep them separated. I'll allow one in playroom and one in Aidan's room (if he is not home). Or I'll have one playing outside while the other is in. I have them take turns in the various play areas. In the late afternoon when everyone is outside if one gets aggressive I'll have her sit out for a bit.

Their aggression seems to only be directed toward each other. They have never hit another dck.
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Old 11-02-2016, 09:43 AM
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Amazingly enough, neither of the twins have scratched at all today!
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Old 11-02-2016, 10:09 AM
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ANY physical behavior that is harmful to others results in separation of the child. If they can't be nice to their friends, they don't get to have access to their friends.

.


This is exactly how I run my Daycare!
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Old 11-02-2016, 10:20 AM
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This is exactly how I run my Daycare!
Ditto. You can't hurt anything or anyone including yourself. I tell the children it's never ok for anyone to hurt you in anyway, that includes me, your friends at school, parents and so on.

I would do as BC said and separate.

My rule if you hit you sit.

Do you have a calm down corner? Do you have supplies to go with it?

Often when I see behavior about to escalate in a negative way I jump in being proactive and direct the children to the calm down corner. We say, "let's take a break". There is a basket of choices of things to help them calm down. They can play with them while sitting down to calm. Alone. I do talk with them about how they are feeling and we go from there. I help them label how they feel and help them come up with ways to release the emotion. Like I'm feeling angry. I will tell them it's ok to feel angry. Let's take a break be calm down, then we can go use our words with our friends.

But just setting them and not talking about it, doesn't resolve the problem.
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