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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Turned Away Due to Temperature
Provider_Manda 06:59 AM 01-08-2013
I have never done it till this morning, and I know it was the right thing to do. Yet I feel awful. DCM brought dcg this morning asked if I had tylenol. Conversation went on and I asked if she had a fever, I was told she felt warm but she thought it was from her coat. Well little thing looked awful and sounded awful when she coughed...Her temp was a little over 102 !! She stayed around a few mins and then asked if she could leave her. I told her no that 102 was too high for her to be here. I could tell she was upset, and she left. I seen her crying in my driveway..and I feel awful.
How to you get pass those feelings? I don't want to see her get pulled, but honestly idk what will happen. I was not rude nor mean. And told her to stay well herself and let me know how dcg is feeling. Her dad just got over that bad flu. I just don't want to expose my son, husband, daycare kids or myself to it anymore than we have too.
How to you get pass those feelings? I don't want to see her get pulled, but honestly idk what will happen. I was not rude nor mean. And told her to stay well herself and let me know how dcg is feeling. Her dad just got over that bad flu. I just don't want to expose my son, husband, daycare kids or myself to it anymore than we have too.
jessrlee 07:06 AM 01-08-2013
It's not your fault! Mom might just be overwhelmed after caring for a sick hubs. All of you other families would be furious if you took a flu ridden kiddo. And you would open yourself up to taking all of the others too! You did the right thing 
Provider_Manda 07:08 AM 01-08-2013
Thank you!! I felt so bad, but I also have to think of everyone else I care for as well!
jessrlee 07:12 AM 01-08-2013
I often second guess and feel terrible. It usually works out just fine though. It's hard to be a people pleaser :/
countrymom 07:22 AM 01-08-2013
don't feel bad, its a moms responsibility to take care of child when they are sick not you. She can cry all she wants, but its a guilt thing. Also, what would have happened if she would have stayed. Then..
she would have made your family sick
then you would have to close
then she would make the other children sick
then they wouldn't come
then you would lose income
you did the right thing.
she would have made your family sick
then you would have to close
then she would make the other children sick
then they wouldn't come
then you would lose income
you did the right thing.
MarinaVanessa 07:37 AM 01-08-2013
I used to feel really guilty also but really I would rather lose one client because they didn't like my fever exclusion policy than losing more clients because I allowed sick children into my DC. In my case I blame my policy on licensing and remind them that if their child were the healthy one and I allowed another sick child into the daycare they would be upset.
I don't have much of a problem now that I changed my illness exclusion policy to require children that are kept home only need 24 hour exclusion (starts from when the fever stops and the kid is also med free), if they are send home they stay home for a minimum of 48 hours. I learned that trick here from the forum
. This policy has single handedly reduced the attempts from parents trying to sneak their sick kiddos into DC to almost nothing and (even better) has also reduced the number of "talks" I have to have with parents about it. I literally have no more talks with DCP's about whether their child can still come or not when they have a fever of 100 or more and I don't have to explain to them why or discuss my policies.
My "If your child is given any form of fever/pain reducer the child is too sick to attend and must be medication free for 24 hours before returning to daycare" and then an explanation in my handbook about how I know all about the "dope-and-drop" and how it's terms for termination has also completely zeroed this issue at my daycare. Or maybe it''s the fact that I don't feel bad telling them no anymore
.
The way I see it is that I'm not the cause of their circumstances and therefore I shouldn't feel guilty about them. I can relate and feel sympathetic but I no longer feel guilty. I'm glad you stuck to your guns, just remember ... you didn't make her cry. She's feeling frustrated and probably overwhelmed and stressed none of which are a direct result of you. I mean, she did come to daycare knowing your policies right? And she did ask you for medication ... I mean really, if your child is sick he's sick and needs to stay home ... she tried to see if you'd allow her child to stay in DC even though it could have gotten the other kids sick. Had she not mentioned the medicine you'd have never asked if her child was sick and she would have left her child at DC. You, your family and the other DC kids could have gotten sick and she KNEW her child was sick. That alone would've been enough for me to stop feeling guilty.
I don't have much of a problem now that I changed my illness exclusion policy to require children that are kept home only need 24 hour exclusion (starts from when the fever stops and the kid is also med free), if they are send home they stay home for a minimum of 48 hours. I learned that trick here from the forum
. This policy has single handedly reduced the attempts from parents trying to sneak their sick kiddos into DC to almost nothing and (even better) has also reduced the number of "talks" I have to have with parents about it. I literally have no more talks with DCP's about whether their child can still come or not when they have a fever of 100 or more and I don't have to explain to them why or discuss my policies. My "If your child is given any form of fever/pain reducer the child is too sick to attend and must be medication free for 24 hours before returning to daycare" and then an explanation in my handbook about how I know all about the "dope-and-drop" and how it's terms for termination has also completely zeroed this issue at my daycare. Or maybe it''s the fact that I don't feel bad telling them no anymore
.The way I see it is that I'm not the cause of their circumstances and therefore I shouldn't feel guilty about them. I can relate and feel sympathetic but I no longer feel guilty. I'm glad you stuck to your guns, just remember ... you didn't make her cry. She's feeling frustrated and probably overwhelmed and stressed none of which are a direct result of you. I mean, she did come to daycare knowing your policies right? And she did ask you for medication ... I mean really, if your child is sick he's sick and needs to stay home ... she tried to see if you'd allow her child to stay in DC even though it could have gotten the other kids sick. Had she not mentioned the medicine you'd have never asked if her child was sick and she would have left her child at DC. You, your family and the other DC kids could have gotten sick and she KNEW her child was sick. That alone would've been enough for me to stop feeling guilty.
Provider_Manda 10:26 AM 01-08-2013
Just found out that she was tested postive for the FLU...Glad I made the right decision and followed my gut!
Heidi 10:31 AM 01-08-2013
Originally Posted by Provider_Manda:
Just found out that she was tested postive for the FLU...Glad I made the right decision and followed my gut!
One of my DCD's went to urgent care late yesterday, found out that he has influenza. So, doc wants the 6mo to get vaccinated TODAY.Just found out that she was tested postive for the FLU...Glad I made the right decision and followed my gut!
youretooloud 10:46 AM 01-08-2013
Originally Posted by Provider_Manda:
Just found out that she was tested postive for the FLU...Glad I made the right decision and followed my gut!
Just found out that she was tested postive for the FLU...Glad I made the right decision and followed my gut!
I'm sure this is hard for mom, but honestly, she HAD to know the kid had the flu. I feel bad for parents in this situation, but they have to deal with it. It's an unfortunate part of parenting.
The flu is very serious, and it's already Tuesday, so she probably exposed all of you to it already. Now she needs to stay home the rest of the week at least. I can't remember what the rules here are, but I know it's at least 7 days.
Poor mom is going to get it next. I feel bad for them.
cheerfuldom 11:16 AM 01-08-2013
guilt? dont you think the mom should be feeling guilty for knowingly trying to leave an ill child with someone else? you said this kid looked and sounded awful. obviously the mom saw this too.
youretooloud 11:40 AM 01-08-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
guilt? dont you think the mom should be feeling guilty for knowingly trying to leave an ill child with someone else? you said this kid looked and sounded awful. obviously the mom saw this too.
True... and really, she even knew what it was too. You can tell when she asked you to give her tylenol that she was feeling conflicted about bringing her. But, still...deal with the conflict at home, and don't expose everybody else.guilt? dont you think the mom should be feeling guilty for knowingly trying to leave an ill child with someone else? you said this kid looked and sounded awful. obviously the mom saw this too.
I have heard the flu is so serious right now that they are building temporary hospitals to deal with it.
Sprouts 11:44 AM 01-08-2013
I honestly would be upset if a parent brough their child in with a fever knowing that someone at home has the FLU! wth? Thats so selfish on their part, i would not feel bad at all...
Sprouts 11:46 AM 01-08-2013
If i were you i would start taking a whole bunch of vitamin C chewables and drink lots of liquid to help fight whatever this family already exposed you guys too.
wdmmom 12:18 PM 01-08-2013
Dcm brought dcb (10 months) in this morning. Said she gave him childrens advil in his morning bottle to help with cough and cold-like symptoms. (I know, I thought it seemed weird too.)
She leaves, I take dcb's coat off and he's burning up!
I took temp, called dcm and sent him packing and I dont feel bad about it whatsoever!! Poor kid has been sick for a week. High time they take him to the doctor!!
She leaves, I take dcb's coat off and he's burning up!
I took temp, called dcm and sent him packing and I dont feel bad about it whatsoever!! Poor kid has been sick for a week. High time they take him to the doctor!!
saved4always 12:26 PM 01-08-2013
I would not feel bad sending her home (especially now that you know she has the flu!). There are not many daycare providers who would accept a child with a fever and the other symptoms like that. Sick kids need to be with a parent, not at daycare, anyways. I am sure your other parents are happy you sent the sick child home.