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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Are You a Hugger?
MissAnn 04:20 AM 11-03-2014
I'm not! It just doesn't come naturally to me. My mother died when I was just 5 years old and I didn't get many hugs after that. I LOVE kids and yes, I hug them.....but usually not when parents are around. It's kind of awkward because the kids don't naturally hug me either. Kids will run to each other to hug goodbye but bypass me. It makes me feel really bad.....but I'm the one who puts out the "I'm not much of a hugger" vibe.

Geez...this makes me look awful! Please tell me I'm not the only one.
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hsdcmama 04:32 AM 11-03-2014
I am a hugger, once I get to know the kids. I kind of take some time to develop some sort of bond with each child before I become a "hugger", unless the kid comes up to me & wants a hug. Then I will always give them one, regardless of how I feel about it, bc if the kid shows/feels love that way and I deny it, he/she may feel rejected. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out hug, but just a simple squeeze is enough to show a "hugger child" that you care. Also, some kids like hugs, and others do not. For me, it's about figuring out how each child feels loved & cared for, more so than just hugging each and every one bc that's what we're "supposed to do".
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Indoorvoice 04:55 AM 11-03-2014
I'm not a hugger at all! I just don't think to do it. I feel like the kids still know I love them though. They're always excited to be here and I don't think my lack of hugging affects them at all.
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Crazy8 05:10 AM 11-03-2014
Nope, I am not much of a hugger either.
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nannyde 05:12 AM 11-03-2014


Yes big time
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DaveA 05:17 AM 11-03-2014
I'm a "conditional hugger." With kids it doesn't bother me. With adults not so much. I prefer my space not invaded.
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Kimskiddos 05:53 AM 11-03-2014
I'm not a natural hugger but it is easier with the kiddos. I usually get a good morning and see you tomorrow hug from all my kiddos. Then will give them a hug during the day if they ask or it's needed.
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Unregistered 06:03 AM 11-03-2014
I hug the babies all the time, though not so much when parents are around. I really only hug older ones if they come to me or if they are hurt or scared or something. I am so not a huggy person generally.
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SquirrellyMama 06:36 AM 11-03-2014
I'm not a hugger, but I have one dcb who is. I was always fine hugging my own kids, and will sometimes hug dcks. Just depends on how I'm feeling.

Kelly
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Baby Beluga 07:27 AM 11-03-2014
I'm a hugger within my own family. Not so much with DCKs.
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MissAnn 07:31 AM 11-03-2014
Glad to know I'm not a total weirdo!
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morgan24 07:59 AM 11-03-2014
I hug the kids but I'm not a hugger of adults at all.
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taylorw1210 09:08 AM 11-03-2014
I'm not a hugger until I form a pretty good bond with my daycare kids.
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NightOwl 09:17 AM 11-03-2014
Yes, the bond has to be there first. And I don't care how bonded we are, DON'T TOUCH MY FACE. It gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it.
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daycarediva 09:51 AM 11-03-2014
I'm a hugger once I get to know the kids.

I do like that some of my dck's are just NOT huggers though. One less kid asking for a hug. I high 5 them, give knucks, ruffle their hair, etc. So they get touch, just not in hug form. If I wasn't a hugger, I would do a secret handshake or something to say goodbye.
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SignMeUp 10:22 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I high 5 them, give knucks, ruffle their hair, etc. So they get touch, just not in hug form. If I wasn't a hugger, I would do a secret handshake or something to say goodbye.
Me too - I mostly let children or families set that tone. If a child wants a hug, or if a parent tells them to hug me, I always give them one, but some want to and some don't.
We've always found a hello/goodbye routine for each child between us, and for naptime "night-nights" too.
Sometimes I'm surprised by which children want big hugs
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Hunni Bee 11:42 AM 11-03-2014
Nope.

I hug back if they hug me or if they're truly upset about something, but I'm a huge personal space person.

I will stroke hair, hold hands, pat shoulders...but all the lap-sitting, picking up, tickling...I leave for mom and dad.

My dear little problem guy likes to hug my butt...I HATE it but like most things with him, the more irritating something is to other people the more fun it is for him.
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melilley 11:43 AM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by morgan24:
I hug the kids but I'm not a hugger of adults at all.

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sahm1225 12:19 PM 11-03-2014
Originally Posted by DaveArmour:
I'm a "conditional hugger." With kids it doesn't bother me. With adults not so much. I prefer my space not invaded.
This. It makes me uncomfortable to hug adults. With kids, it's different and I hug them or riffle their hair.
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renodeb 09:00 PM 11-03-2014
We are all different. I 'am very much a hugger but I don't force it on any one. I feel like I have formed a bond with each child here and I gage which children really respond to that. There are definitely various degrees of affection. I would not worry about it. Your not a weirdo at all.
Deb
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jenboo 01:02 PM 11-04-2014
I huge and kiss most of the kids goodbye and throughout the day.
There are a couple where I just dont connect with them..usually if they started when they were over 2... I fall in love with all babies.
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KiddieCahoots 02:28 PM 11-04-2014
Not since the lice episode! Lol!
Still in that wary/icky mind set.

But on other regular occasions, if the child initializes it, and not using it as a manipulative tactic to butter me up, then sure!
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Janiam 02:35 PM 11-04-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Yes, the bond has to be there first. And I don't care how bonded we are, DON'T TOUCH MY FACE. It gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it.
This exactly! I try very hard not to touch my face during the day while working and I definatly don't want the kids to. But I do give out lots of hugs
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Unregistered 04:12 PM 11-08-2014
Yes, big hugger here!
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