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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Infant Won’t Drink Breastmilk
Core12 07:48 AM 12-12-2018
I have a 2 mth old who breastfeeds. The mother said we could supp with formula if we ever run out of breastmilk. This has resulted in herNot wanting breastmilk at all. I told her mom and mom says only supp with formula if we run out of breastmilk. Yesterday, she was so fussy I gave her formula and she calmed right down. Her mom is upset bc we didn’t use the breastmilk we had.
Am I the devil?
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storybookending 07:54 AM 12-12-2018
I think this is a tough one. I feel it is the parents choice which one they choose and I would not have offered formula if the mom had specifically said not to. I would however had called mom for immediate pick up if the child refused the breast milk and was cranky. Honestly I would be ticked if I were the mom in this situation as she specifically said to only use it if you ran out. You didnít really help matters by giving in to the child and giving the formula.
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happymom 08:02 AM 12-12-2018
Just troubleshooting...

But could the bm be high lipase? Do you know if it was frozen and thawed or if it was fresh?

I would feel disappointed if this happened as a breastfeeding mom, but perhaps she could make a small change and baby would go back to drinking the milk rather than the formula?
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Pestle 08:14 AM 12-12-2018
Good thought on the lipase. My kid refused breast milk in bottles for a few days before I realized what was going on. You could smell it! It was just like dish soap. I couldn't freeze the milk and it had to be used in under 24 hours. Very stressful.
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lovemykidstoo 08:14 AM 12-12-2018
Originally Posted by Core12:
I have a 2 mth old who breastfeeds. The mother said we could supp with formula if we ever run out of breastmilk. This has resulted in herNot wanting breastmilk at all. I told her mom and mom says only supp with formula if we run out of breastmilk. Yesterday, she was so fussy I gave her formula and she calmed right down. Her mom is upset bc we didnít use the breastmilk we had.
Am I the devil?
I think I'm maybe not understanding. So mom said if you run out of bm, you can give her formula. That I understand. When she was fussy did you not have bm to give her? Did you try to give her bm if you had it and she didn't want it, so then you went to formula?
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sharlan 08:45 AM 12-12-2018
I would have done the same as you. If the baby wouldn't take the bm, I would have offered formula.
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Cat Herder 08:56 AM 12-12-2018
Originally Posted by Core12:
Her mom is upset bc we didn’t use the breastmilk we had.
The next phase should be calling DCM for pick up (or feeding baby herself, onsite) or giving the go-ahead for formula. If she were part of the decision, she'd have less of an issue with it all.
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happymom 09:04 AM 12-12-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
The next phase should be calling DCM for pick up (or feeding baby herself, onsite) or giving the go-ahead for formula. If she were part of the decision, she'd have less of an issue with it all.
Definitely agree with this!
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Ariana 09:45 AM 12-12-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
The next phase should be calling DCM for pick up (or feeding baby herself, onsite) or giving the go-ahead for formula. If she were part of the decision, she'd have less of an issue with it all.
This! If she is pulling a power struggle than get her to fix it. I would have done the same as you. I have a hungry baby who is refusing BM but loves formula, it is a no brainer....and this is from an exclusive BF mother of two kids . If my children were in someone elseís care and my baby is refusing BM than my babies needs trump my ďideologiesĒ and preferences. This might sound harsh but what is she expecting you to do here?
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storybookending 10:17 AM 12-12-2018
We are not the parents of these children and this decision is not ours to make. I am only okay with this if the mother has been contacted and told if not picked up by X time I will be offering the formula. Yes we feed infants on demand and that is in the regulations but that doesn’t mean we can feed them whatever we want without parent consent. I would call for immediate pick up before opening myself up to going directly against a parents wishes.
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lovemykidstoo 10:24 AM 12-12-2018
If mom was that against it, she shouldn't have brought over formula. It's not like OP went and bought her own and secretly gave it to the dck
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happymom 10:30 AM 12-12-2018
Originally Posted by storybookending:
We are not the parents of these children and this decision is not ours to make. I am only okay with this if the mother has been contacted and told if not picked up by X time I will be offering the formula. Yes we feed infants on demand and that is in the regulations but that doesnít mean we can feed them whatever we want without parent consent. I would call for immediate pick up before opening myself up to going directly against a parents wishes.
Thank you
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Cat Herder 10:33 AM 12-12-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
If mom was that against it, she shouldn't have brought over formula.
It is a requirement in most regs, handbooks, and food programs that they bring it in case of spillage, spoilage, outage or evacuation. There should always be a backup plan for feeding infants. (bottled water, too)

I am required to offer one brand, included with tuition, myself. A quick text for approval is all it takes.
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LittleExplorers 12:53 PM 12-12-2018
I have one similar to this. I found the temp of breast milk had to be just right with trial and error. Mom was also receptive to adding 1 ounce of formula to a bottle but we ended up not needing to go that route after figuring out the temp issue. Good luck!
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hwichlaz 04:28 PM 12-12-2018
Ask mom if you can try mixing it. It's not ideal, and messes with nutrient absorption, but it is better than straight formula.
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LittleExplorers 05:47 AM 12-13-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
Ask mom if you can try mixing it. It's not ideal, and messes with nutrient absorption, but it is better than straight formula.
Do you have any resources on this? I had no idea that it messes with absorption. Is it better if supplementing to do all breast milk for a bottle and all formula for another if needed?
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mommyneedsadayoff 05:58 AM 12-13-2018
Originally Posted by Core12:
I have a 2 mth old who breastfeeds. The mother said we could supp with formula if we ever run out of breastmilk. This has resulted in herNot wanting breastmilk at all. I told her mom and mom says only supp with formula if we run out of breastmilk. Yesterday, she was so fussy I gave her formula and she calmed right down. Her mom is upset bc we didnít use the breastmilk we had.
Am I the devil?
You are not the devil for trying to feed a hungry baby. Now that it's become an issue, it's time to get ahead of the game. I would be writing up a paper Mom signs saying in the event the baby runs out of breast more milk or REFUSES breast milk, formula will be used to supplement in its place. This is now a non-negotiable issue. I will not be calling Mom every single day asking if it's okay to use formula. So having this letter signed and dated eliminates that issue. If mom refuses, then she will need to find other care.

In my opinion, this is a similar situation to the provider's who have breastfeeding moms that will only bring a few ounces a day, and baby is clearly still hungry for more. They wont bring more, but wont allow formula either. In your case, you have the food options, but Mom has restrictions on using them. I don't allow restrictions when it comes to feeding infants. They can choose breastmilk or formula, but the when and the how much are all up to me based on baby's needs, not parental wishes. Mom started using formula, so in my opinion it is fair game when feeding the child. You don't get to start using something, get the baby used to it, and then take it away from them when it's the providers time to take care of them. When they are at home, and baby is screaming and refusing breast milk, I'm sure she would make the decision to use formula, especially when she's the one listening to the screaming baby. So for me, formula is on the table and the restrictions on it need to be gone. If that's not okay with her, she needs to find somewhere else to take her baby.
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Pestle 06:11 AM 12-13-2018
If you do mix it with mom's approval, also be aware that you've tanked the ability to reuse the breast milk, because while breast milk can be cooled and saved and reheated, formula doesn't behave the same way.

I had a neighbor whose kid I used to keep, and her milk production on baby #2 was too low, so we had to mix breast milk and formula. I only mixed a couple of ounces at a time so the milk wouldn't be wasted if the baby didn't drink much. I mixed the formula first, to ensure the level of concentration was correct, then added the milk.
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hwichlaz 08:05 AM 12-13-2018
Originally Posted by LittleExplorers:
Do you have any resources on this? I had no idea that it messes with absorption. Is it better if supplementing to do all breast milk for a bottle and all formula for another if needed?

I used to be in training to be a lactation consultant. The first reason is that you're more likely to waste breastmilk when you mix....if you feed the breastmilk first the baby will get all of it and top off with the formula.

The formula can damage the long chain fatty acids and immunities in the breastmilk if you don't mix is separately and then add, because vigorous shaking is bad for the BM.

Honestly though, if she's still getting milk from the tap at home, she's still getting those benefits. And the enzymes in the BM will help her digest the formula better.

So it's 6 of one, half dozen of the other.
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Jupadia 08:16 AM 12-13-2018
I can get why mom wants baby drinking breast milk. I know with both my guys I struggled for milk production, I latterly bleed over it with my first. My first I did entirely pumped milk with formula to help out. The second did latch but I was able to keep up better but still had to use formula. And yes I cried over split milk a few times.
That being said baby needs to eat, I would contune to offer BM and then formula if baby wont eat. Mabey try mixing if parent is ok, but just a fee ounces at a time. As well find out the temp baby likes bottle that may be the problem.
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knoxmomof2 08:20 AM 12-13-2018
I second the thoughts lipase and temperature. The only BF kiddo I had, her Mom told me - "she will need it HOT. She's uses to it being 98.6 degrees from the source!" 😁 What I thought was hot enough was not. After thawing, I used water hot from the tap, twice, to heat it and it was finally good enough.

If that doesn't work, you need to have a plan in place with Mom. If baby won't eat after such and such amount of time trying, does she want you to call for pick up? Call to come and feed herself? Use formula? Or, just decide for yourself and inform her what will happen since you can't have an infant crying from hunger all day.
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LittleExplorers 08:40 AM 12-13-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I used to be in training to be a lactation consultant. The first reason is that you're more likely to waste breastmilk when you mix....if you feed the breastmilk first the baby will get all of it and top off with the formula.

The formula can damage the long chain fatty acids and immunities in the breastmilk if you don't mix is separately and then add, because vigorous shaking is bad for the BM.

Honestly though, if she's still getting milk from the tap at home, she's still getting those benefits. And the enzymes in the BM will help her digest the formula better.

So it's 6 of one, half dozen of the other.

Good to know! Thanks!
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