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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Did The Right Thing, But Heart Beating!
Lucy 09:05 AM 10-04-2012
I admit I'm a total wuss when it comes to parents having to take time off work because the kids are sick. Not when they're throwing up or have a high fever... that's a no-brainer. I mean the common cold.

I watch 2 sisters - 7 and 4. They're just the type of people who get sick more often than others. I understand that. I'm one that (knock on wood) never gets sick. I've called parents saying I can't work TWO times in 18 years. Anyway, with school starting (we didn't go back till Sept 10th here) kids are bound to catch nasty stuff because they are being re-exposed after a summer off. So it's gonna happen, right? So the dad of these girls had Monday off and the girls stayed home. They come on Tuesday and the 4 yr old is coughing her head off. No fever, not much out of her nose but the occasional clear stuff. She blew her nose maybe twice that day. But the cough was nonstop. Then the 7 yr old tells me that the 4 yr old did not go to preschool Monday because she was sick. So Wednesday, they come and the cough is still bad, but now she's blowing her nose a lot more. It's still clear, and no fever. But the 7 yr old is now blowing her nose too.

Then today the 4 yr old is about the same, but the 7 yr old is coughing her head off, blowing her nose, and feels slightly warm. She's laying on the couch with a blanket and saying "I don't feel good, I want to go home". So I text the mom that her 4 yr old is about the same and I've done ok with separating her from the others, but now the 7 yr old is almost crying that she doesn't feel good and wants to go home. I'm asking if she wants me to send her to school. (I wouldn't send her if she were mine, but it's the mom's call. And also, that was my way of saying if she doesn't go to school, she goes home!) This was 8:20 and I said they leave at 8:40 to go to school. So at 8:30 the mom calls and has a down-in-the-dumps voice saying "is she really bad? are you sure?" I just repeated that the girl was on the couch with a blanket saying "I don't feel good I want to go home". I didn't give my opinion at all. Told her it's HER call, and said "do you want to talk to her?" (Sorry this is rambling on so much!!) So 7 yr old gets on the phone and I can't really hear what she says. Mom asks for me back and says, "well I guess I'll come and get them. I have 2 things I HAVE to get done and will be there by 9:00".

I said that worked out good because I have to leave about then to get my mom and take her to her hair appt. THEN... the mom says "well when will you be back? That might give me extra time to get my stuff done". Um.... WHAT??? I'm not taking 2 sick girls to be with my 78 yr old mother and get HER sick! So I said "well, I don't want to expose my mom to it.." And she sorta muttered "omg, this sucks". Ok, so she may have meant it as an overall statement and not directed at me, but it made me feel guilty. I do like this family. The dad is in the Air Force Reserves, and I've really done everything I can to support them. I GET that she can't take too much time off work or she'll get fired. That's just how employers are these days. No sympathy for families with sick kids. And she has had to take off more than the average person because she just has the type of family who catches things easier than others. I get it. That's why I felt guilty. But I still have to do what's best for me and for the other kids. And for my mom! So she shows up at 8:45 and tells the girls they have to come back to work with her. She won't even LOOK at me when she comes in. Sheesh. I didn't make them sick!

Like I said, I get that it really sucks for her and I'm sure she was just frustrated at the situation and not necessarily ME, but I felt guilty! Oh, and I had told her also in the text that the almost 3-yr old I watch is going to Disneyland next week and the last thing I wanted to do was to have her sick when they go. I hope she understands. I shouldn't care whether she's mad at me or not, but I'm human and I do care!

Thanks for listening.
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Blackcat31 09:08 AM 10-04-2012
YOU did the right thing!

The girls have a mother and SHE needs to deal with it, whether she likes it or not.

I completely understand being inconvenienced at work with 2 sick kids but again, they are HER children and the responsibility lies with her NOT you.

Good for you for standing your ground.
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Mom&Provider 09:14 AM 10-04-2012
I'm not sure why I am always surprised when parents make a stink about their children being sick and needing to be home to rest. You did the right thing, her children are ill and need to be resting, not at daycare or at school....resting. Period. Regardless of who is there or going on vacation or anything else, her children are sick. Period.

I know the job market sucks right now, but really...I mean REALLY...what comes first???

Don't feel guilty, tho I'm not one to talk about that!
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daycare 09:28 AM 10-04-2012
great job!! Trust me when I tell you that the more you do it, the better you will get at it. It will get easier for you. PROMISE..

One thing that I tell parents if they ever try to make me feel bad about having to stay home with their ill child, is that this is why it is important for them to have backup care when their child/ren are sick.

Children will get sick and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. We can try our best to prevent spreading illnesses by implementing good hygiene, but lets face it, Most children get a cold at least 1-4 times a year. So with that being said, don't fall into the parents guilt trip when they try to make you feel bad for their child being sick.

Like BC said, it's their child and it's their responsibility...
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littlemissmuffet 09:28 AM 10-04-2012
You know what? This mother doesn't feel guilty about sluffing off her sick kiddos onto you. So don't feel bad passing the responsibilty back to where it BELONGS... with the parent.

Forget about her, and have a wonderful day!
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Lucy 09:45 AM 10-04-2012
Thanks gals. It helps. I just got back from taking Mom to her hair appt. Gotta pick her up in an hour and take her back home. The whole time I just had this gnawing at me in the back of my mind. I do know it was the right thing to do, but the human being in me says, they just bought a house that they can barely afford (it is a small basic house, but they don't make much money), the dad can't take ANY time off right now and the mom has taken off more than the average employee and at some point her employer isn't going to like it. I know it's not my problem etc., etc., but I do like these people and enjoy their girls. In all honesty, I should have sent the 4 yr old home yesterday with the nonstop cough and nose blowing, but I just kept her separated as much as I could. And we did a hand washing and sanitizer routine all day. And even though I shouldn't, I would have kept the 4 yr old today too, but it was the 7 yr old not being able to go to school that caused the mom to have to come get her, and obviously the 4 yr old would go with them. I told the mom that I was ok with the 4 yr old, but that the 7 yr old seemed like she had it worse. Anyway, the mom will get over it and everything will be fine. I just hate these situations! I know what I HAVE to do, but I don't WANT to! Thanks again.

(p.s. Blackcat... what did I need editing on? Just curious! I wrote it in a hurry because we had to leave to go get Mom, so I'm not surprised if I flubbed something!)
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Blackcat31 09:53 AM 10-04-2012
Originally Posted by Lucy:
(p.s. Blackcat... what did I need editing on? Just curious! I wrote it in a hurry because we had to leave to go get Mom, so I'm not surprised if I flubbed something!)
I just added spacing to your words....they were all together in one giant paragraph that was hard to read for us older gals

Sorry, I should've added the reason but I was in a hurry..
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daycare 09:56 AM 10-04-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I just added spacing to your words....they were all together in one giant paragraph that was hard to read for us older gals

Sorry, I should've added the reason but I was in a hurry..
hhahahahahhhahah I hope you have a mouse in your pocket when you are referring to us!!! lol Im only 21 for the second time around......
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Lucy 10:02 AM 10-04-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I just added spacing to your words....they were all together in one giant paragraph that was hard to read for us older gals

Sorry, I should've added the reason but I was in a hurry..
Yeah, I knew that as I was typing it. But I had to hurry so I didn't read it back like I usually do. Thanks!!
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My3cents 10:35 AM 10-04-2012
Originally Posted by Lucy:
Thanks gals. It helps. I just got back from taking Mom to her hair appt. Gotta pick her up in an hour and take her back home. The whole time I just had this gnawing at me in the back of my mind. I do know it was the right thing to do, but the human being in me says, they just bought a house that they can barely afford (it is a small basic house, but they don't make much money), the dad can't take ANY time off right now and the mom has taken off more than the average employee and at some point her employer isn't going to like it. I know it's not my problem etc., etc., but I do like these people and enjoy their girls. In all honesty, I should have sent the 4 yr old home yesterday with the nonstop cough and nose blowing, but I just kept her separated as much as I could. And we did a hand washing and sanitizer routine all day. And even though I shouldn't, I would have kept the 4 yr old today too, but it was the 7 yr old not being able to go to school that caused the mom to have to come get her, and obviously the 4 yr old would go with them. I told the mom that I was ok with the 4 yr old, but that the 7 yr old seemed like she had it worse. Anyway, the mom will get over it and everything will be fine. I just hate these situations! I know what I HAVE to do, but I don't WANT to! Thanks again.

(p.s. Blackcat... what did I need editing on? Just curious! I wrote it in a hurry because we had to leave to go get Mom, so I'm not surprised if I flubbed something!)
Don't take all of your parents problems on. Keep it business. You have your own issues to worry about.

Don't put yourself in those situations. Your heart is there but you need to protect yourself, your family and home and loved ones. Make sure this parent knows your policies/rules.
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