Such as carrying in items that you bought for daycare (daycare toys, supplies such as diapers (if you supply them), furniture such as bookshelves you just bought for the daycare room, etc.

Do your personal children help with rearranging the daycare room or anything related to daycare?

If they do help, do you pay them for their help? Do you pay them per situation? Such as $5.00 to carry in the new items you just bought.

Or do they just help you for free?

Here's my thought... My younger daughter is an older teenager who constantly (well, at least as soon as she sees that I have a little money) gets money for me to go out to eat (typically at McDonald's), go to the movies, etc. And she NEVER gives me my change. So, since she gets money out of me for things that I don't have to provide for her, I feel that I should be able to get her to help me with daycare related things.

However, her view is that anything related to daycare is my job and she shouldn't have to help me with my job. If I worked out of the house at an office job, she certainly wouldn't be helping me carry paper from the supply room to the copier.

So, I do see her point. However, since she's sitting right there in the house when I pull up with a bunch of stuff to carry in, or when I start moving things around in the daycare room, I just feel that I should be able to get my teenager to help me carry things and move things.

A perfect example a situation that I just had is... I bought some personal furniture, a desk for myself, a dining room table for my household, a new bed for HER, a new bookshelf and a good bit of new toys and educational items for the daycare. I asked my personal daughter to help me rearrange the living room (daycare room) and dining room to accommodate the new items. She flat out refused to help. So I hired one of the boys that grew up with my older daughter and I also hired my younger daughter's (the one that refused to help) best friend to help me with everything. So, my daughter's best friend and the older guy were on the main floor helping me move everything and my personal daughter was up in her room laying on her bed, hanging out in her room and doing nothing. Maybe it's me. But something about my own teenager laying on her bed (by the way, I also had just bought her a brand new bed and brand new sheets and comforter for the bed) while I'm paying her best friend to help me just had me shaking my head the whole time. I literally paid the guy to put her old bed into my truck so I could take it to the dump. She wouldn't even help get rid of her old bed to make room for the new bed I bought her.

I have also paid the girl across the street (she's a little younger than my daughter) a couple of times to carry the things out of my car into my house even though my daughter was home.

Now, no. I didn't offer to pay my own daughter to help me because she gets money from me all the time for doing absolutely nothing. She doesn't do any chores. I could literally drop dead while lugging furniture up the stairs and she'd probably just check my purse for money and go to the movies leaving me laying there dead at the bottom of the stairs. She literally does nothing to help with the household. Well, she does wash her own laundry and clean her own room. But she helps with nothing regarding the household.

So, who's right here? Do you leave your teenager alone or do you get him/her to help you with things related to daycare? And if you get their help, do you pay them for helping you or do you just expect them to help you because they are part of the family that is benefiting from your daycare? Would you feel that it would be reasonable to hire outside help for things that I mentioned above while your own teenager is home so they don't have to help you?

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Oh HECK NO!

My children aren't anywhere near your dd's age, (11, 8 and 6) but they all do work around the house. They have daily chores, weekly chores, responsible for their own rooms and laundry AND often have small daycare jobs. In return, they get an allowance to spend on whatever they want, within reason, of course. Plus they have a neat clean home, a happier mom, and self confidence as a result of the knowledge that they can do all these things. It's a win-win.

Personally, if my child told me that she didn't have to do any daycare work, I would agree. But then because I am doing all the work, she would have to pick up the slack at home. By her age she should be able to take over almost all of the household management. And, if she wants money to go out with friends, movies, McD's, etc., she would have to earn it. Either by working in the daycare or by getting her own job.

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It might be your job, but this job pays for the roof over your daughters head and all of life's other necessities. She should be helping - either with DC stuff or with regular household chores and maintenance. In the example you provided, she should have helped simply because it was the right thing to do, especially since she was not doing anything else at the moment.

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Thank you. I knew I had every right to expect her to help.

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I was just wondering if I was completely in the wrong for expecting her to help me with daycare related things. But you guys seem to agree with me that I am not in the wrong for thinking she should help me. And you all agree with me.

Thanks for your input.

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I have four children, 17, 15, 10 and 9. All my children help with housework, yard work and day care work. This Saturday we are all working in the backyard to make a new area for daycare. My children have two choices - help or move out. Daycare pays for a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs and all the extras of life. I would not buy anything for her and tell her she needs to ship up or ship out.

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Yes, my sisters and I had to do chores also.

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My kids help out, too. I guess I don't look at what I ask them to as 'daycare' but household stuff. It just needs to get done and everyone pitches in.

My children don't get allowances, either. These are unpaid chores (the horror) and are expected because they are part of a family.

That's not to say that it gets done with a smile on their faces but it does get done.

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You DO have every right to expect her help. If she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is. Seriously!

And, you, Missy (PV), need to drink some milk! The calcium will give you a stronger back bone. You let WAY too many people tread right over you. Now go look in the mirror, and say nice things to yourself!

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My sons have things I expect them to do for persons like grandma & family members or elderly persons like clean gutters, rake the yard, mow, and things for me like cleaning up my playground, etc. I explain that there is no money for this, it is just the RIGHT thing to do...help others in times of need.

I have chores for our home as well. They do receive a small allowance monthly and they do not get it till end of month which has encouraged them to save because $5 weekly doesn't go very far, but $20 is huge to a child.

They have to buy their own bait for fishing which they love to do with their own money. I feel it is teaching them how to manage and that mom can't buy everything. They have expectations for this allowance and they receive deductions for every backtalk or disrespectful word out of their mouth.

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I just took my daughter to the doctor's and told her that she hasn't been taking her medicine (Zoloft which she is taking for depression) on a consistent basis. Some days she'd be running late for school and not have the time to take it. Other days on the weekends, she'd sleep over her friend's house and forget to take it. Randomly throughout the week, she'd occasionally remember to take it. She's 17 years old. I expect her to be able to take her medicine without me having to tell her to. But even on days I tell her to, she will apparently say, "okay." to me and then still not take the couple of seconds to take her medicine. So I thought she's been taking the medicine when I tell her to and when she says 'okay'. But I just learned that she's been skipping her medicine more than I knew.

The doctor said that if you take Zoloft inconsistently, it can make you have major mood swings including extreme hatefulness and irritability. Which is exactly what she's been doing. So, all the attitude problems I've been getting from her for the past month or so might just be (hopefully is and probably is) from her not taking the medicine consistently. So I am going to make sure to give her the medicine every day and make her take it in front of me to be sure she actually takes it every day. Hopefully after taking it daily for a few days she will get back to being more helpful, respectful, caring, and overall have a better attitude and personality.

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I also believe that everyone in the household should simply pitch in to help take care of the household chores. But lately I've gotten nothing but back talk or completely ignored when I ask or tell my younger one to do anything. Hopefully it is just from her not taking the medicine correctly.

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My opinion, you can't remember to take your meds or whatever else you need to do, I treat you like a child. You go no where without me and are in bed by 8:30 like a child. When you act like an adult, I'll treat you like one. Period.

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PV, I mean this in the nicest way... You need to stop making excuses for her. she's irritable and mean because she's a teenager and choosing not to take her medication. I know you want what's best for her, but you either treat her like a baby and let her continue to walk all over you & be mean or you treat her like an adult and stop giving her money unless she earns it. It's just you and her and it's obvious that you do everything to make her life happy. I find it ridiculous that you had to PAY another teenager to help you move things.
It sucks that she suffers from depression and its a life long battle for her, but she needs to realize that it is HER responsibility to take her medication.

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In my house, everyone helps out. That said, my husband and I established the "everyone works" policy when the kids were little. They started with picking up their own toys and now everyone has a chore rotation.

The business funds lots of things for my kids and all four of them know it. If I didn't run my business there would be no soccer, theater lessons, driver's lessons, extra spending money, etc. Typically, the only job I pay for is standing in as my assistant. My 16 year old gets minimum wage for subbing.

I wouldn't need help if I worked outside the home but, I also never had time to schedule (or attend) all those fun activities when I taught for the school district.

In your shoes, I would be tempted to say, "Only cheerful helpers get fun money." I have two teenagers and they are fairly motivated to help when money isn't available. When the kids go above and beyond, I will add extra money to their allowance or bring home an itunes card to show I noticed. I always say, "I really appreciate that you did x to help me out. "

When I buy something for my own teens, my job ends after the purchase. If they want it in their room, they have to move the item and assemble it.

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Back the truck up!!
She's wrong.

Here my kids are 24.21.17&14. Two have moved out and they STILL HELP ME!! For FREE

Carrying, toting, moving, loading, cleaning etc. they even sub for me for free. They're my kids. My family.

Wether they live here or not makes no matter. As for the ones still here, same deal. They help. Every time I need it. It's part of being in our family. I'm afraid of my reaction if one of mine said no. I think it would be swift and severe.

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