I am a new unlicensed provider. Licensing pending. I have had one breastfed infant in my care since he was 1.5 months. he is currently my only, plus my own daughter. He was a very (what we thought) colicky baby. By month two I noticed he was not gaining weight and was constantly hungry no matter how much he was fed. He was drinking 20-28 oz in my 8 hour care. I finally urged they see the dr. He saw the dr, he was in the .5 percentile and supplementing was recommended.

Since supplementing, he has calmed, but is still very needy at nearly five months old now. Has to be in a particular state of milk/diaper/happy to be set down at all. If I have to change my lo's diaper, nurse her, or feed her, he cries. I have slowly weaned him off of the constant holding (most of the time), by staying close by, talking to him, singing and trying to be really consistent with transitions, but he is not napping. At first I was told he would only nap in parent's arms, I eventually got napping a bit in the swing (I know that is not okay long-term or when I am licensed and told the parents I needed to stop now that he was finally falling asleep).

Now that he has put on weight, I have been napping him in the bassinet, and graduated from looooots of rocking, shooshing, singing in the bassinet, to being able to feed him and put him right down without a fight whatsoever. He was making progress, short naps, but gradually getting longer, then WHAM, I went on a week vacation and he is now waking up after 20 minutes, inconsolably crying. I have tried putting my hand on his chest, shooshing, rocking the bassinet to soothe him back down without rushing to pick him up or feed him. I started letting him cry a few minutes at a time, increasing the time each time I go back in to soothe. He seems to get more and more worked up and never settles.

Today I was holding a burp cloth while rubbing his chest to soothe him in the bassinet, when he woke up screaming. He grabbed it, smashed it on his face and fell dead asleep (for another 20 minutes). He would not let it go and woke when I tried to pull it away from his face. Mom is a sweetheart, but co-sleeps every night, only started even setting him down for naps at my prompting just a few weeks ago (his head is flat on one side from being held so tightly for the first 4 months). I truly do not believe he was set down for the first 4 months, until I started prodding. I have tried to kindly tell them they need to teach him to self-soothe, but I think I am dealing with some major attachment parenting styles. They seem receptive, but I feel like I am doing all the legwork because I gentle sleep trained my daughter pretty young.

I share a lot of their values, but this is making my days torture and my daughters behaviors are changing because she gets so little attention. He's my first infant in care and the difficulty is really knocking my confidence to pursue this. I can tell any suggestion of "let him cry a little" is upsetting to the mom. She tenses up if I even suggest waiting a moment to go into the room. Dad seems annoyed that I keep communicating with them about tips and tricks. I can tell he wants me to shut up. They are truly a nice family and I am new so I am second guessing my instincts. I want to find joy in this and I do love the little buggar. Help!

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