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Old 02-24-2013, 11:58 AM
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jsloayza jsloayza is offline
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Default Bully Toddler

I just started working as an assistant teacher at a daycare center. I like the job a lot and the kids are all adorable. But we have one in our youngest group of two year olds who physically is bigger than the other ones and is very aggressive. I don't want to keep having to isolate him from the group but he is too physical and can hurts the other children. We try every day to include him then he kicks, punches slaps, head butts or pushes anyone who is within reach for no apparent reason. He can't sit still for more then two minutes and doesn't listen to directions well. I don't think there has been one day so far without an incident with him hitting someone and once a parent saw it and was floored because he was tackling a little girl. He is always smiling, very cute and likes puzzles. I play with him fine just the two of us and if another child wants to join it can go fine but not for long. What can I do to help? The other children are afraid and leave centers when he enters, refuse to sit near him and one boy will hold on to any teacher the whole day until the bully leaves. We do tell the parents he had an incident hitting so and so but they are not really being honest how severe it gets. They say they can't tell the parents too many bad things because that can reflect bad on the center and our care.
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Old 02-24-2013, 12:28 PM
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I would tell the parents. IMO it sounds like he has some type of autism. They usually don't like playing with other kids and some do hit other kids. I would advise the parents to have him checked out. But if you really don't want to tell the parents i guess you will have to keep him away from other kids. Although that's not really going to help the child.
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:02 PM
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No way....do not tell the parents directly. Have a sit down conversation with your director/supervisor and the other teachers that work with this child. Be specific about what you are seeing with his behavior and ask the director what the daycare policies are about discussing with the parents and addressing the behavior. It sounds like the director is more interested in keeping the income than about supporting her teachers (and certainly not interested in terming problem children). You need to do your job and part of that is abiding by the daycare policies. If the director tells you to just deal with it to keep this boy attending than now you know how this daycare works. Either you can work with this environment or you cant.

If you go to the parents directly, it is very likely that your job will be in jeopardy for not going thru the proper channels.

and FYI, not every autistic kid is aggressive, in fact, many are not. There are many reasons why a kid is aggressive around other children. If you are untrained to diagnose and you start spouting out words like autistic, you will be in trouble fast with the parents and the director!
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Old 02-24-2013, 06:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
No way....do not tell the parents directly. Have a sit down conversation with your director/supervisor and the other teachers that work with this child. Be specific about what you are seeing with his behavior and ask the director what the daycare policies are about discussing with the parents and addressing the behavior. It sounds like the director is more interested in keeping the income than about supporting her teachers (and certainly not interested in terming problem children). You need to do your job and part of that is abiding by the daycare policies. If the director tells you to just deal with it to keep this boy attending than now you know how this daycare works. Either you can work with this environment or you cant.

If you go to the parents directly, it is very likely that your job will be in jeopardy for not going thru the proper channels.

and FYI, not every autistic kid is aggressive, in fact, many are not. There are many reasons why a kid is aggressive around other children. If you are untrained to diagnose and you start spouting out words like autistic, you will be in trouble fast with the parents and the director!
Thats why I said some. Also I ment for her to tell the parents about him hitting other kids not being autistic, thats just what i was telling her.
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Old 02-24-2013, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
No way....do not tell the parents directly. Have a sit down conversation with your director/supervisor and the other teachers that work with this child. Be specific about what you are seeing with his behavior and ask the director what the daycare policies are about discussing with the parents and addressing the behavior. It sounds like the director is more interested in keeping the income than about supporting her teachers (and certainly not interested in terming problem children). You need to do your job and part of that is abiding by the daycare policies. If the director tells you to just deal with it to keep this boy attending than now you know how this daycare works. Either you can work with this environment or you cant.

If you go to the parents directly, it is very likely that your job will be in jeopardy for not going thru the proper channels.

and FYI, not every autistic kid is aggressive, in fact, many are not. There are many reasons why a kid is aggressive around other children. If you are untrained to diagnose and you start spouting out words like autistic, you will be in trouble fast with the parents and the director!
I would also caution you about jumping to label this child. It could be that he doesn't know how to interact with other children (especially his own age). How many children you have on average, and what age range? Also, how is DCB other then his aggressiveness (speech, other developmental milestones)?

We had a child very much like the DCB you are describing. I started working in his classroom when he was 18 months old and he was very aggressive. We made sure one worker was close by him (there were two of us working in that room) and when he began to act aggressively, we would step in and tell him, "nice hands", or "gentle touches"- demonstrating on his arm, or helping him to it to us. We also encouraged him to hug the child he hurt (if the other child would accept it- we never pushed it) or pat their arm/ leg gently to comfort them.

The DCB I work with does have some speech and other delays so he has therapists who come in and work with him, but that is just a recent thing. He is now about 2 1/2 and has come a very long way. It takes a lot of patience and redirecting.

Make sure you document his behavior so that if you feel like you need to talk to the director and/or have a meeting with his parents (with the director present if necessary), you will be able to answer any questions. This will also help if you are noticing any delays. Also, get advice from other co-workers, even if they don't necessarily work in your classroom. Someone might have some ideas or good tips of things that have worked in the past.

Good luck!
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:10 AM
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Also im wonder why the center is choosing to lie to parents. I can so see this backfiring on the center.
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Old 02-25-2013, 07:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsloayza View Post
I just started working as an assistant teacher at a daycare center. I like the job a lot and the kids are all adorable. But we have one in our youngest group of two year olds who physically is bigger than the other ones and is very aggressive. I don't want to keep having to isolate him from the group but he is too physical and can hurts the other children. We try every day to include him then he kicks, punches slaps, head butts or pushes anyone who is within reach for no apparent reason. He can't sit still for more then two minutes and doesn't listen to directions well. I don't think there has been one day so far without an incident with him hitting someone and once a parent saw it and was floored because he was tackling a little girl. He is always smiling, very cute and likes puzzles. I play with him fine just the two of us and if another child wants to join it can go fine but not for long. What can I do to help? The other children are afraid and leave centers when he enters, refuse to sit near him and one boy will hold on to any teacher the whole day until the bully leaves. We do tell the parents he had an incident hitting so and so but they are not really being honest how severe it gets. They say they can't tell the parents too many bad things because that can reflect bad on the center and our care.
That is the BIGGEST issue! (the bolded part).

The parents can't address, fix or help with the problem if they don't know it exists.

The other parents also have a right to know and the fact that this center is trying to keep this under wraps or swept under the rug has me the most concerned.

The child care center has a duty and an obligation to address any and ALL incidences of aggression, violence and/or physical contact of this nature.

As an employee, I would NOT address or tell any parents anything directly as that is probably not part of your job description. I would however, have a discussion with the director of the center and let her know your concerns.

If she refuses to do anythign about it, I would seek alternate employment and would report this facility to the licensing agency.

NOT cool when centers prioritize their reputation or income ahead of what is in the best interest of a child....and by the sounds of this, all the children in the center are affected by this situation.

Also, whatever issues this child may or may not have...it is between the parents and the director. When the parents and director get together and figure it out and have a plan of action, then it becomes an employees job to follow that plan. Anything that you do before the director and parents discuss and address the issue is over stepping your boundaries imho.
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