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  #1  
Old 06-14-2018, 07:45 AM
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Default Don’t Want to Enroll Family

I don’t have a good feeling about a family and we havent even interviewed yet (but an interview is scheduled).
The family are friends of friends-
They already cancelled two scheduled interviews though and just don’t seem very considerate.
This latest interview looks like it’s finally ready to roll...

There’s a chance when I meet them I’ll change my mind but I just feel pressured already for some reason. I guess that’s what I don’t like about the Mom - she seems kind of like a bulldozer even just on the phone.
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  #2  
Old 06-14-2018, 08:00 AM
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Trust your gut instinct.
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Old 06-14-2018, 08:14 AM
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I think its better to follow your instincts. It will be more uncomfortable terming them then it will be to politely decline them!
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  #4  
Old 06-14-2018, 08:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bddy View Post
I donít have a good feeling about a family and we havent even interviewed yet (but an interview is scheduled).
The family are friends of friends-
They already cancelled two scheduled interviews though and just donít seem very considerate.
This latest interview looks like itís finally ready to roll...

Thereís a chance when I meet them Iíll change my mind but I just feel pressured already for some reason. I guess thatís what I donít like about the Mom - she seems kind of like a bulldozer even just on the phone.
I had the exact same situation once. I ended up interviewing the mom, not feeling good about it after, ignoring the feeling and trying to make it work since I kind of knew her. Well, the parent just kept saying and demanding things that I wasn't okay with before any paperwork was even signed. I ended up telling her it just wasn't a good fit and took back the acceptance, which of course, very understandably pissed her off.

Don't make my mistake!
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Old 06-14-2018, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BGM View Post
I had the exact same situation once. I ended up interviewing the mom, not feeling good about it after, ignoring the feeling and trying to make it work since I kind of knew her. Well, the parent just kept saying and demanding things that I wasn't okay with before any paperwork was even signed. I ended up telling her it just wasn't a good fit and took back the acceptance, which of course, very understandably pissed her off.

Don't make my mistake!
Like others have said it is much easier to not enroll than it is to terminate. Once they have enrolled it makes thing much more difficult and drama filled.
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  #6  
Old 06-14-2018, 08:47 AM
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My young adult son once told me that the best thing my DH and I taught him was "it is easier to avoid trouble than it is to get out of trouble" so I agree with others... listen to your instincts.

I would simply contact the family and cancel the interview yourself. Just cancel it and don't leave the option to reschedule open.

If the family pushes for a reason just be vague and say something like "I just don't feel it's good time right now" or say "I've decided to go in another direction. Thank you for your interest"

Any further communication and I'd ignore.
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Old 06-14-2018, 08:47 AM
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I was just going to post something very similar. I interviewed a family last Saturday. Something is off with them. It felt wrong. The mom is really "extra". I have been doing this for 20 years. I don't need to be bossed around and all that drama. Their 3 year old was a brat too. I am going to take the advice on here and decline before they start. You should too. Just cancel the interview. Go with your instincts.
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  #8  
Old 06-14-2018, 09:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I was just going to post something very similar. I interviewed a family last Saturday. Something is off with them. It felt wrong. The mom is really "extra". I have been doing this for 20 years. I don't need to be bossed around and all that drama. Their 3 year old was a brat too. I am going to take the advice on here and decline before they start. You should too. Just cancel the interview. Go with your instincts.
Let me tell you a story of what happened with me and why you should trust your gut. I had a mom that interviewed and seemed like she was gonna be a headache. I went with my better judgement and let her enroll. He was here almost 2 years and she was a pain in my butt. Constantly making smart comments, paying late, showing up late etc.. Acted like no rules pertained to her. I was gonna terminate and she begged for another chance. She left two weeks ago with no notice to save money over the summer. I can almost bet she thinks shes gonna hit me up after summer to start bringing again. I gave the child all his items and sent him on his way. She then asked for an accident report for an incident where he jumped off my furniture and got a bruise/knot from it. I should of went with my instinct and told her no! She wants to throw an accident in my face. Forget the fact her kid got numerous boo boos at her house and ate cat ****. I am extremely selective and picky now. Not everyone is even getting an interview.
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  #9  
Old 06-14-2018, 09:52 AM
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Thanks for this advice. I am going to just cancel!
I donít like feeling this pressure combined with their lack of consideration when they cancelled (both times at the last minute).
Why waste my time and theirs!
Thank you all.
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  #10  
Old 06-14-2018, 10:31 AM
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Youíre right to trust your gut! Theyíve already shown you that they donít value your time. That would have carried over into the daycare relationship.
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  #11  
Old 06-14-2018, 10:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I was just going to post something very similar. I interviewed a family last Saturday. Something is off with them. It felt wrong. The mom is really "extra". I have been doing this for 20 years. I don't need to be bossed around and all that drama. Their 3 year old was a brat too. I am going to take the advice on here and decline before they start. You should too. Just cancel the interview. Go with your instincts.
I interviewed that crunchy mom on Monday 🤣 1.5hr interview after she asked to push it back 30 minutes last minute. I had a headache afterwards. I wonít be accepting but I guess it was good interview practice.
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  #12  
Old 06-14-2018, 10:41 AM
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I usually interview to confirm my suspicions and end the interview with "I am continuing to interview interested families until Friday. I will choose which child to take by then and let you know"

I then contact them and let them know that I really enjoyed meeting them, but that sadly, I cannot accept everyone and the place has been filled".
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  #13  
Old 06-14-2018, 11:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meeko View Post
I usually interview to confirm my suspicions and end the interview with "I am continuing to interview interested families until Friday. I will choose which child to take by then and let you know"

I then contact them and let them know that I really enjoyed meeting them, but that sadly, I cannot accept everyone and the place has been filled".
Do this.

If you cancel the interview, it won't seem professional.

I NEVER EVER enroll
neighbors
family
friends
family friends/friends of family members

It NEVER works out, they ALWAYS want special.
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  #14  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by amberrose3dg View Post
Let me tell you a story of what happened with me and why you should trust your gut. I had a mom that interviewed and seemed like she was gonna be a headache. I went with my better judgement and let her enroll. He was here almost 2 years and she was a pain in my butt. Constantly making smart comments, paying late, showing up late etc.. Acted like no rules pertained to her. I was gonna terminate and she begged for another chance. She left two weeks ago with no notice to save money over the summer. I can almost bet she thinks shes gonna hit me up after summer to start bringing again. I gave the child all his items and sent him on his way. She then asked for an accident report for an incident where he jumped off my furniture and got a bruise/knot from it. I should of went with my instinct and told her no! She wants to throw an accident in my face. Forget the fact her kid got numerous boo boos at her house and ate cat ****. I am extremely selective and picky now. Not everyone is even getting an interview.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. A story like this. I can totally see this mom doing just as that mother did to you. This forum saves lives!

I hope you read this as I am trying to find kind declining words for mom. I already interviewed her. Nothing was set in stone with the family as far as enrollment. Just want them out of the picture in case they are planning to go with me. So, any suggestions on wording would be great
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  #15  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
Do this.

If you cancel the interview, it won't seem professional.

I NEVER EVER enroll
neighbors
family
friends
family friends/friends of family members

It NEVER works out, they ALWAYS want special.
I guess I’m worried about - What if they want to enroll On the spot? I just have a feeling this Mom is sorta slapdash like that - she’s aways harried, just a bit less than polite, and loud on the phone. From my friend I know they are in a childcare bind, my rates are reasonable, I think my friend has said good things about me and so I’m worried she’ll be like “ok let’s do it!” Like want to sign the papers right away?
I have a hard time with people who have this moms personality .... something I’m working on but I don’t always think well on my feet...
I don’t want to offend her basically.
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  #16  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:23 PM
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I had an opening at the end of January and did a phone interview with a family. We ended up setting a time for an actual interview but after I hung up the phone I had a horrible feeling about them. The mom seemed like she was a helicopter mom and that she was going to think she ran the show. I ended up calling and telling her that the spot was no longer available and cancelling the interview. I have no more specifics. For all they know to this day is the child that was going to leave didnít. I didnít elaborate. I ended up keeping the spot open until April. I am very choosy about who enrolls here and unlike most on here I prefer to work only with family and friends or at the very least someone that knows someone that I know than complete strangers.
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  #17  
Old 06-14-2018, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bddy View Post
I guess Iím worried about - What if they want to enroll On the spot? I just have a feeling this Mom is sorta slapdash like that - sheís aways harried, just a bit less than polite, and loud on the phone. From my friend I know they are in a childcare bind, my rates are reasonable, I think my friend has said good things about me and so Iím worried sheíll be like ďok letís do it!Ē Like want to sign the papers right away?
I have a hard time with people who have this moms personality .... something Iím working on but I donít always think well on my feet...
I donít want to offend her basically.
Iíd go with ďI still have a few families to interview before I make a decision. Iíll let you know by XX date.Ē
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  #18  
Old 06-14-2018, 01:29 PM
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Thank you!
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  #19  
Old 06-14-2018, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bddy View Post
I guess Iím worried about - What if they want to enroll On the spot? I just have a feeling this Mom is sorta slapdash like that - sheís aways harried, just a bit less than polite, and loud on the phone. From my friend I know they are in a childcare bind, my rates are reasonable, I think my friend has said good things about me and so Iím worried sheíll be like ďok letís do it!Ē Like want to sign the papers right away?
I have a hard time with people who have this moms personality .... something Iím working on but I donít always think well on my feet...
I donít want to offend her basically.
I never, ever accept on the spot...even if the family appears absolutely perfect. because maybe...just maybe...something even better is in the wings. Or maybe the golden family suddenly start asking for extras and special.

Too many parents go into family daycare thinking they are hiring you, and that they call the shots. Telling them you are still interviewing and that YOU will make a decision...sends a strong message that this is YOUR home and business and YOU get to decide who attends.

It works every time and you get to politely turn down the family from hell without a tantrum!!

The family you DO choose, knows you have options and are more likely to behave.
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  #20  
Old 06-14-2018, 08:08 PM
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Good point ....Iím trying to develop that type mentality.
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