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  #1  
Old 09-29-2009, 05:51 AM
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Default New Child Who Cries ALL Day

I am used to the sometimes difficult transition from mom/dad to provider for some children. I worked in a child care center for many years before starting my own in home daycare. Every child I have in my home arrives without incident, happy to see me and the other kids & eager to play.

With the exception of one boy. T started care last week. He is here Wed-Fri from 0830-1630. This is his 3rd week. When his mom drops him off he cries. Normal? Yes. However, he cries all day long unless I hold him. Obviously being that I have many other children in my care I can not hold him all day long. I do give him about 20 minutes or so of my attention as soon as he arrives to help him calm down. This does not work. He sits on the couch with his binky and blanket and cries/screams. If anyone looks at him it gets worse. He wont eat at all and only stops when I put him down for his nap.

I am a very patient person but I dont know how much more I can take. It wears on the other children also. At times they all get shorter naps due to the crying. Which in turn helps no one. I want to be able to help him adjust but how long should this go on. I have never had this problem.

Advise please??? I am losing my mind here.
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  #2  
Old 09-30-2009, 12:19 PM
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I have sort of the same situation right now. I have this little girl who does nothing but scream when any of the other kids look at her or talk to her. She starts screaming if my husband is home and talks to me. Today, I took her and another kid out with me, and as soon as someone said hi to her, she started screaming and wouldn't stop till we got back to the car. She is approx 15 months old. I think she is just a spoiled brat who gets her way by screaming. I find myself yelling at my own daughter, because my daughter wants to play with her and comfort her (my daughter is 10), but she just screams louder. I don't want to be yelling at my own kids just because they are trying to be nice, but the screaming is grating on the nerves, so I tell my daughter she is not allowed to talk to her. All the other kids love my children, except this one. I can't afford to let her go.....just venting I guess.
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  #3  
Old 09-30-2009, 02:02 PM
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Default Been there, done that

I have gone through the same situation. I had to let the child go because I just felt sorry for the little boy. You didn't specify how old the child was.... some children get overly stimulated with a room full of children like the little boy I watched. He was two and could verbalize his sadness. He used to say "Where is Mommie? I lost her help me find her!" That used to break my heart. I suggested to the parents to find a nanny or someone that only took care of 1 or 2 kids. I checked back with her a few months later and the little boy was doing exceptionally well. Give yourself a break, Not every child enjoys daycare, Even though we show our love to them, give them access to great toys and exciting projects to do throughout the day. If you have tried everything that you could possibly try, with no results, I would let him go.
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  #4  
Old 09-30-2009, 06:49 PM
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Last year I took in a little girl that just turned 1 and she was the same way...she had a HIGH pitch scream and it was LOUD!! She did it ALL day long. I too am en extremly patient person...but I have to tell you the crying wore on me as well...I told myself and my husband that if it continued I would have to tell the mom it is not working out. It got my other daycare boy scared and he started crying too...so I had 2 crying babies AND my own 3 year old that was extremly upset over it. I had to put her for several small naps because the crying was excessive.

Not an easy situation at all. For me it worked out because the girl adjusted, only took her a week of crying all day, then the next week of crying sometimes, and then she was mostly fine unless she had a longer break from here, then we would have a small adjustment period. I still have her to this day and she's the sweetest little girl, I just love her!!!

Don't feel bad if you have to let the child go because of this, 3 weeks is a long time (has it been 3 weeks? You stated he started last week, then said this is his 3rd week??) to listen to all that crying and if it's upsetting the other daycare children I would say enough is enough...politly tell the mom it's not working out..maybe it's the 3 days at care then 4 days off? He's not there every weekday so the transition starts over the next week he shows up.
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  #5  
Old 10-01-2009, 05:17 AM
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Default You sound like me

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I have sort of the same situation right now. I have this little girl who does nothing but scream when any of the other kids look at her or talk to her. She starts screaming if my husband is home and talks to me. Today, I took her and another kid out with me, and as soon as someone said hi to her, she started screaming and wouldn't stop till we got back to the car. She is approx 15 months old. I think she is just a spoiled brat who gets her way by screaming. I find myself yelling at my own daughter, because my daughter wants to play with her and comfort her (my daughter is 10), but she just screams louder. I don't want to be yelling at my own kids just because they are trying to be nice, but the screaming is grating on the nerves, so I tell my daughter she is not allowed to talk to her. All the other kids love my children, except this one. I can't afford to let her go.....just venting I guess.
I had "that" little girl since she was 8mo till she was 18mo. She was the EXACT same way as you described. If I walked out the room she screamed, if I looked at her "wrong" she screamed, if a child brushed past her she screamed, and the list goes on. I have a 10yo daughter also and I use to have to tell her not to pay attention to her also because it would just make the situation worst. She wanted to calm her and play with her but she would just scream lol. Thank goodness mom didn't want to pay for her vacation so I had to term.
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  #6  
Old 10-01-2009, 05:55 AM
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I have a little one that was like that. She gets held most of the time at home. For me it got to the point that I just had to put her in the crib & let her go. I would go in & check on her often. She needed to learn that here she would not be held. It took a while, then she only had a fit when she was frusterated, she is mobile now so now when she starts crying she is either hungry or tired.
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  #7  
Old 10-01-2009, 07:08 AM
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I really appreciate the advice. It was his 3rd week. The times get away from me.

I had to have his mom pick him up early yesterday. Part of it was for my own sanity and the other part was because the little boy was just SOOOO miserable it was breaking my heart. He is 2 years old (I left that part out before).

When his mom came to pick him up she said that he is used to being held all day and that he eats when he wants, where he wants and naps wherever and whenever he wants. She said that he "doesnt do schedules". I restrained myself from laughing and told her that I didnt think that we were a good fit. She stomped out and I havent heard from her since. I felt bad but today my kids are all still sleeping. They all go back to bed when they get here and should be up soon for breakfast.

Thanks again!
Sarah
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  #8  
Old 10-01-2009, 08:19 AM
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Sounds like she will have a hard time finding a good fit cuz we all pretty much go by a schedule.

I had a family once that they did not do a schedule at home & their work schedule ALWAYS changed so it was hard to keep the kids on a schedule here. When the parent did have a month of normalcy (same schedule day in & out) was the best time I had with those kids. Their behavioral issue were next to none at that time.
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  #9  
Old 10-01-2009, 11:51 AM
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Kids need consistency! I used to say my daughter wouldn't do a schedule, then I started my daycare and what do you know, she's incredibly well-behaved now that she knows what to expect. The daycare schedule carries on into the weekends for us and she's as happy as can be. Sorry it went so badly for you, but sounds like you're better off!
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  #10  
Old 10-02-2009, 11:42 AM
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Hi. I haven't joined yet but plan to bc I was just going to and ask the very same question.

I have a little girl and this is her FIFTH week here. She is part time though, 2 days a week. So I think it's the transition beginning all over bc one day it's Monday and then the 2nd day is Friday so there is 3 days where she isn't here.

I have talked to her mother about maybe doing a Tues/Thurs, Mon/Wed, Wed/Fri thing bc BOTH she and her husband set the schedules for their work and it would be totally possible but haven't heard anything back yet. When she is here, she is here from 8:30-330/430 depending on if mom or dad is picking up that day.

She is 20 months old and has to be pried from her mother (I am not the first provider. Her old provider moved) screaming, high pitched. I put down my foot with her mom and told her that she can't stay and tell her it'll be allright, I'll pick you up later etc....bc K knows that she's getting mom's attention. That it would prolly be better for her to walk her in, instead of carrying her in.....so we'll see but....in the meantime...

IT'S ALL DAY. And she'll settle and be ok and then out of NOWHERE she builds up and wails....opens her mouth, chin to chest and wails, sobs......nobody is touching her. She is usually playing with blocks or dolls. I can't get her involved in anything else bc she refuses to be held by anyone but her mom or dad. This happens 10-12 times in the 7 or 8 hours she is here. She'll be fine and then WHAM.....0-200mph in seconds. And it takes 15-20 minutes to calm her down and if she drops her blanket in the process, it starts all over again. She'll scream until her face turns blue, and make fists with her blanket.....

I just don't know what to do. I have mostly part timers right now bc my 2 full time families gave notice bc mom was laid off (I've known her for years and she wanted to be a SAHM anyways....lol) and the other, her husband is being transfered out of state for work. I need the money this family pays big time but I just don't know how to handle the crying.

Of course, she never cries like this at home I'm told. Right now, she's been crying for 35 minutes. I had to lay her down and leave the room bc enough was enough. There was no visible reason for it. She was sittin on the sofa with her sippy of milk watching a cartoon (I allow a cartoon at the end of the day right before pickup bc it gathers everyone together all quiet and happy, usually) and then just started crying.......but 35 minutes with no less intensity.

So, I had her lay down with her blanket and came online to see if I could find an ans or anyone else going through it.

She is teething but teething doesn't cause this kind of crying. I've been in daycare for 10 years and have 3 children of my own and have never experienced this kind of crying.

I do want to say though that when she is NOT crying, she's a super sweet little girl, albeit a bit shy. There is usually only 1 other child here on the days she's here and my little girl, 2.

I also have a 4 1/2yo who is here 3 days a week (26 hours) who cries at drop off and will randomly cry throughout the day, trying to hold it in, wipes his nose on his shirt, and will cry until he vomits. They are moving in with Grandma in mid-November though and she is going to care for him (his spot has already been filled with an infant).....

Any suggestions?????

I didn't mean to hijack the thread......
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  #11  
Old 10-07-2009, 06:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahtheresa02 View Post
Advise please??? I am losing my mind here.

I firmly believe that not all kids are cut out for daycare. There ARE kids who, no matter how long in daycare or how great the provider will NEVER fully adjust.

The fact that he only stops crying when you carry him makes me wonder if he is carried a lot at home. Obviously these parents have done a huge disservice to him if they are carrying him around all day.

What would I do? I would terminate. BTDT and it's far too much to ask a provider to listen to constant screaming for 10 hours a day for THREE weeks. Also, this behaviour affects the other kids in care too. Not fair to them to have to listen to it either.
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  #12  
Old 10-09-2009, 07:07 AM
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I had to let him go last week. I just couldnt take it anymore. Kids that were so well behaved were starting to act up. His mom was offended and I tried to explain that its mostly for the good of her child. He was so upset everyday that I can bet that this will or has happened at every daycare he has been to. I refunded her money and never heard from her again.

I felt bad to reject someone but there was no other good option.
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  #13  
Old 11-03-2009, 10:23 AM
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I'm on month 2 with a screaming 2 year old boy. I've been caring in my home for 17 years and he's the worst fit yet. I am suspecting developmental/behavioural issues so I feel guilty for wanting to give notice but I have 2 other 2 year old boys and 2 one year old babies to care for. The screaming of Mommy Daddy for hours on end with drool and snot streaming have made bonding impossible and I refuse to see a child as a paycheque. The rest of my gang are happy and personable but he just refuses to participate.

His parents are really good people which is partly why I haven't given up yet but I think I may suggest they look at Nannies.
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  #14  
Old 11-03-2009, 12:49 PM
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Default Cried His Way Through Childhood

Our son had colic for his first year which was very tough. He was also a crier in daycare and his first year of school. We eventually had to home school because of the stress on the teachers and other children. We went though all of the psychiatric / hypno / doctor evaluations but stopped short of medicating. He just matured at his own rate and he just got all four of his wisdom teeth out today and was a real trooper. One would never have thought we would have turned out to be such a great kid. Started collage at 14, never cusses and is the kindest soul. I bet he turns out to be a great singer someday. He has the pipes and started young ;>
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  #15  
Old 11-03-2009, 01:34 PM
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Our son had colic for his first year which was very tough. He was also a crier in daycare and his first year of school. We eventually had to home school because of the stress on the teachers and other children. .... He just matured at his own rate ;>
EXACTLY!!! One of the reasons I originally got into daycare was because I was not willing to put my own son in daycare. He NEVER could have handled it. As I said above, some kids are NOT cut out for daycare. And, as a parent you have to figure out some way, whatever that is, to work it out so your child isn't spending his entire childhood stressed out.

And Jonathan...we too ended up homeschooling our kids because of this same son. He just could not hack it in school.
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  #16  
Old 11-03-2009, 03:35 PM
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Default Help!

I work at a childcare center as the only provider in the 0-3 year old room. There is a girl who is 2 years old who has been coming for months, and still cries the entire time her mother is gone. She screams "mama" with short 2-3 minute breaks in between. If I try to distract her with a toy or book she screams louder and throws it across the room. My boss will not consider not allowing her to come, so I'm stuck with her. I cannot interact with the other children because she is so loud. Any ideas??
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  #17  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:48 PM
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Default Gifted Children Need More Stimulation

I almost hate to say it, but have you tried the computer? My belief is that there are more "Gifted" children in these daycare then most people think. That means they have high IQs and need constant mental stimulation. A Disney learning program on a computer is VERY entertaining. Our son started at 2 years old and it definitely kept him engaged. The problem is in getting them to leave the computer when you need them off. At that point I suggest they earn time on the computer by doing what is expected at other learning times. We use the same technique with our daughter wanting to use the Wii. We can't stop her from wanting to clean, wash, vacuum the house all day long just to earn minutes on the Wii. We've created a monster, and I'm not complaining!
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  #18  
Old 11-04-2009, 07:44 AM
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We have a "cry pillow." It actually works well for criers in general, not just newbies. It isn't a punishment, just a safe place to go and cry your head off without driving everyone else nuts. Only one rule, you don't get up until you are DONE. If you start again, back to the cry pillow. I have had several parents adopt that strategy at home as well.

My daycare area is a big rectangle with a tiny hallway that leads to the laundry area and my bedroom. We put the cry pillow there. That way they are still in full site, and unfortunately hearing, but it is still less disruptive.

Good luck!
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  #19  
Old 11-06-2009, 05:01 PM
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Default Cries all day

Fortunately I have a 2 week trial period in my contract. I have had to let 2 infants go in the last 4 yrs. because of excessive crying and screaming. One I know had colic- boy that was tough for 2 weeks- I am a very very patient person, but there is absolutely nothing you can do to calm the child.
I have heard this daycare mother, has had to stay at home with the baby, she has gone thru at least 4 other daycares that I am aware of, could be more. IT is sad, but within 2 -3 weeks, if they do not get rest, get used to your routine, etc. it is time to say, you just cannot continue. It is not fair to the baby, yourself, and your other children in daycare.
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  #20  
Old 07-23-2010, 11:59 AM
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Well I work at a daycare and me and my co teacher have the exact same problem. We have a child that is almost 30 lbs and is only 10 moths old. He cries when he isn't held and he cries when he wants to move to a diffrent place. He just started crawling so it takes him a little while to get to where he wants to go. He cries about seven hours out of the eight hours he is here. We are so frustrated and don't know what to do. But I just want to say that it make us feel so much better to know that it isn't just us that get frustrated. We have been looking for answers. We can't drop our children and I actually think that he needs us the most and so I wouldn't drop him anyway. If anyone has any helpfull tips we are all ears!!! Or eyes! lol
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  #21  
Old 07-24-2010, 08:31 AM
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I honestly believe not ALL kids are cut out for daycare. Some kids will never, ever transition IMO. And, if mom is constantly holding him or running to his every whimper at home that won't help either.

If it were me he would not get held AT ALL during the day. If I wanted to show him one on one I would set him on the floor and get on the floor with him but I would not pick him up. My guess is he uses the screaming as a method of manipulation to get what he wants - YOU!

If a child does not transition or show significant improvement in 4 weeks time I terminate.
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  #22  
Old 07-24-2010, 08:32 AM
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Funny! I responded a minute ago only to discover this thread is REALLY old! Good to know my thoughts are consistent!
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  #23  
Old 11-17-2010, 08:14 PM
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Unhappy Baby cries all day!!!!!!!

I have a 7 1/2mnth old baby that i care for almost 13 hours a day!!!! All he wants me to do is hold him, and he cries alllll day!he just started a 2 weeks ago and still cries. his mom told me he is in everyones arms when he not here. i dnt have time holding him all the time. my youngest son who is 1 1/2 was never like tht, nor was my 3yr old. my children try to comfort him but he cries u speak to him he cries. he can cry for hours non stop. he olny want me to hold him when he's in my care. i need advice. i need to know if he likes it here or not. is it because he's used to being held all the time. i need advice!!! thank you
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  #24  
Old 08-26-2011, 06:16 AM
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Default same here \

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Originally Posted by tymaboy View Post
I have a little one that was like that. She gets held most of the time at home. For me it got to the point that I just had to put her in the crib & let her go. I would go in & check on her often. She needed to learn that here she would not be held. It took a while, then she only had a fit when she was frusterated, she is mobile now so now when she starts crying she is either hungry or tired.

Even though it has only been 4 days she is 17 months cries all day unless she is under my feet , Very hard to deal with If I hold her it justs makes it harder for her to go play. She has not played or pick up any toys. When her mom picks her up she clings to her an she cannot talk to me because the baby is crying and never mind if she tries to put her down..... HOW LONG IS NORMAL
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  #25  
Old 08-29-2011, 06:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Well I work at a daycare and me and my co teacher have the exact same problem. We have a child that is almost 30 lbs and is only 10 moths old. He cries when he isn't held and he cries when he wants to move to a diffrent place. He just started crawling so it takes him a little while to get to where he wants to go. He cries about seven hours out of the eight hours he is here. We are so frustrated and don't know what to do. But I just want to say that it make us feel so much better to know that it isn't just us that get frustrated. We have been looking for answers. We can't drop our children and I actually think that he needs us the most and so I wouldn't drop him anyway. If anyone has any helpfull tips we are all ears!!! Or eyes! lol
I feel the same way! I have 10 month old almost constant crier! People ask me why I don't just drop him. Well, I've had him since he was 8 weeks old - I LOVE him. I hate the thought of him going somewhere else. I think he needs me. BUT, I don't know if I can take it much longer! Its been going on for almost 5 months! We have good and bad days, but mst days he screams about 90% of the time I'm not holding him! I don't know the answer, but it IS nice to know I'm not alone!!!
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  #26  
Old 11-16-2011, 10:58 AM
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Unhappy Frustration

I know how all of you feel in regards to dealing with a constant crier. I cared for a child for 9mths that cried all the time. The child had previously been let go from a previous provider that had the child from around 3 mths until I took the child at 6 months old. I struggled so much with what to do because I felt so bad about the idea of letting the child go, especially since this would be the 2nd time being let go. The child had very nice parents which also made it difficult. I stressed constantly and tried to communicate with the child's parents regarding the situations as much as possible. The child was a coddled child which made it difficult for the child at daycare as I was not able to give the child my undivided attention. The child would cry when I wasn't close or with view, cry at random points, etc. Finally I told this child's parents I didn't think this was working out and I couldn't continue as it was starting to become way too stressful for me, the other kids and even the parents. This child would cry when the other kids were being picked up making it difficult for me to give other parents a report on how their child's day went. This child's parents asked what I thought the child needed and I said in all honesty it seems the child needs 1:1 attention from a nanny. Luckily it worked out and the family found a nanny, no hard feeling on either end but it's not worth the stress on everyone to continue caring for a child that is not thriving in a daycare environment.

As a provider I feel it is our job to provide the best care to all children (and thinking about the stress difficult situations cause emotionally/physically) if one child's behavior is affecting the daycare environment, I feel it's our job to do what's best for everyone overall. I did temporary/back-up care for other providers/families (while continuing to interview other families) until I found a child that I felt would be a good fit...as my luck would have it...it's been a difficult few weeks of adjusting so far. I'm on week number 2 with him and hoping/praying that things get better. This new child cries when dropped off if the child is not not sat right down to eat or being held. When the child is eating they are fine but then I find when finished the child will start to cry for mom. I'm not really sure what to do because one minute the child is fine, playing with toys and other kids but then next the child starts to full out cry.

I've now set a number of weeks as to how long I will allow for the "adjustment" period. If a child can't adjust in 3-6 weeks (depending on if there's any progress from week to week) then I feel they probably will not adjust to the new environment at all. If the child shows no progress over 3 weeks then I feel it's time to let the parents know the arrangement is not working, if the child is showing progress I'm willing to give more than 3 weeks for them to adjust but if the reverts back to crying constantly or stops progressing then again, it's time to talk to the parents about finding alternative arrangements. Thankfully in my contract I have a statement that says myself as well as the parents have the right to terminate care at anytime no matter what with a two week notice.

As a provider, we definitely don't receive enough credit or appreciation! We go through a lot and get paid very little. For me this has been worth it being able to stay home with my own children and I do love it much more than my prior job. We do however learn to gain a lot of patience!

Please feel free to share your thoughts!
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  #27  
Old 12-29-2011, 08:29 AM
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Unhappy Help

I have a boy that's almost 3. He started 2 months ago. His first week here went pretty well. The second week started crying a clinging to who dropped him off. The days were not great. A month into it I moved. He crys now upon arrival and all day. The few moments he is not crying he is miserable. I have said one more week to give him to adjust. This is his first care situation. The strangest part is everyday he has a phrase he repeats a few hundred times a day, for instance "mama come back after nap", or "mama make me happy". They are usually versions of things I have said to him...but seriously, over and over. He does not talk unless it is one of these phrases. I am begging to think there my be some other underlying mental issues. The grandmother, is a special ed kindergarten teacher, so I feel out of place to mention that. I have brought up the repetition thing, but not that I think it may be a warning sign. He has always been less engaged than the other kids. His language is way behind the rest of them. It is hard to tell because my daughter and 2 other kids are ahead of the learning curve. Do I just let him go and say its just not working out? I mean he puts us all on edge and the poor boy is so sad all day. Or, do I address I think he may have some mental issues and advise them to seek help?
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  #28  
Old 01-02-2012, 10:02 AM
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I just started my 2 two kids at a homecare, they have been home with me for a full year. We started part-time 3 days a week and then there would be a break. We have no family here and it was hard to leave a new baby with a sitter.
So now my kids are having a hard time adjusting. But there are teething and then a got a gastric flu so they are moody, sick and miss their family.
I never hold my kids they play on the carpet and then we change floors for different scenery. It kills me that they are a bother to the daycare but what can I do, I need to work.
But I am also paying someone to watch my kids and if they are having a bad I should know that someone is going to be there for them.
I know that its hard when babies cry, and I think that if the daycare gives it a little time (2-3 weeks) the kids will adjust and if they don't well then you have to let them go, its not fair to the rest of the kids and the caregiver.
Tough call on both sides. Good luck to all.
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  #29  
Old 03-19-2012, 11:24 AM
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I've given notice to parents with a child who can't self-sooth. Many parents these days carry their children all day long in those slings and wonder why their child can't self-sooth or calm themselves without being held. It has nothing to do with the child and and all about the parents inability to be a parent. Maybe a group daycare or nanny would be better? Group daycares can trade off holding while others care for the other kids and a nanny would just hold the baby all day like the brilliant Mom has done. Good luck...hope you find some peace soon it is hard enough caring for other people's children with out having to fix a emotional development issue that should have been dealt with early on. Not healthy for child to be carried all day!
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:00 PM
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These children that you're describing are "highly sensitive" or "high needs" children and their disposition has nothing to do with how their parents have been raising them. There is a lot of good information here:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fus...high-need-baby
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  #31  
Old 08-07-2012, 06:54 PM
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I almost wonder if those who like to label these DCs as high needs are not providers. You certainly are not doctors so how can you place a diagnosis on them? Not to mention you have yet to meet them. Yes, I do believe a baby can be held too much. I have had two DCC who have consistently cried all day unless they were being held. One was high needs and one was not. There is a big difference, they have a lot more problems then just not being held. Bottom line, if you are stressed out and your attention is being taken away from the other children in the daycare then you should let them go.
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  #32  
Old 08-08-2012, 04:10 AM
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I had a little boy, 2.5, this past March. I had him from march 12th to March 23d. Almost 2 full weeks. By the end of the first week I couldn't take it anymore. I could tell he was in the autistic spectrum but I obviously can't diagnose that. I tried asking the mom questions...how he handled his previous day care (oh fine, he was in the same place from the time he was 6 months old until last month and handled it very well!), and at one point, SHE brought up the whole autism thing...you know, after the interview and after he started coming.

There were just so many things that made it impossible for me to care for him...his own safety, the safety of the other children, and my own sanity. He hit my son, who was just learning to crawl in that military drag fashion, because he was coming too close to him for a second time and might knock over his line of toys.

He'd sit by the door and scream. We'd go outside and he'd bolt for the woods. He tried opening the outside door. I never had a problem with this until him, I had to buy doorknob covers (which I should have had anyway but never really thought about it since it was a non-issue). We'd stay inside, he'd scream. I'd make lunch, he'd scream. We'd go for a walk, he'd scream...both walking and if I put him in the stroller. Everything was him sobbing and shrieking.

Autism suspicion aside, he did things that were just BAD. Marking on my walls with a crayon while I was nursing, thank goodness it washed off. Trying to climb up on the table...it made no difference if I was there or not, he'd try it. He'd climb up, I'd pluck him off, he'd not even give a breath and wasn't even fully out of my hands before he was trying it again.

His mom said that anytime he misbehaved like that, that I should put him in time out immediately. Let me tell you, he did not understand what a time out was...There is a difference between knowing what it is and struggling and crying to get out and crying and struggling because they don't understand why they are there...

Finally, on Wednesday of the second week I pleaded with his mother if there was anything I was doing wrong, what could I do to make him happy...she asked me, "Whoa, what do you mean, make him happy? Isn't he happy?" she seriously had no idea, even though I would always tell her that he cried each day. She thought he was doing well with me, he was always very happy at home and never put up a fight to come to me.

Anyway, that turned into a big conversation...I told her I preferred not to talk about him in front of him and maybe she should come back later that night without him, but she insisted. I told her that i would be willing to continue for another 2 weeks. If he didn't show *some* improvement...it didn't have to be much...by those 2 weeks, I would not be able to provide care anymore. She accepted that, even though I felt sick even saying it because I knew it broke her heart hearing that her son was behaving this way for someone. She seemed shocked. I got an email from her later that night saying that she wouldn't be bringing him back and that she'd be by to pick up his things and give me my pay. She said she had no idea he was crying the entire time he was here, she just figured when I said, "he cried today" that I meant he only cried when she left and got better.

He was so high needs, autism or not, that there was no possible way I could safely look after my own two children and the other two day care children.

I feel bad for you...this is the worst experience a child care provider has to go through. "Why is he/she crying? What can *I* do? How long do I hang in there? Will it get better?" I'm sorry. It's never easy.
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  #33  
Old 08-08-2012, 04:55 AM
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Just a note...the OP is like, three years old.
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  #34  
Old 08-08-2012, 05:54 AM
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Just a note...the OP is like, three years old.
Yeah, I see that now, whoops. Either way, I hope my story helps someone else realize that a constant crier isn't their fault. :-)
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  #35  
Old 08-08-2012, 07:02 AM
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Yeah, I see that now, whoops. Either way, I hope my story helps someone else realize that a constant crier isn't their fault. :-)
I read your story and I have had one too. He was 3 yrs old. And he cried all day, I mean he wouldn't do anything but cry, he would cry so much that he would fall asleep and when he woke up he would continue crying. I stuck it out for 2 months. I too tried everything, but when he would participate, I found that there was just something odd about him. His features were odd too, large head, flat face, eyes were odd, it was like his head was so heavy that he had a hard time holding it up. I told mom everyday that he cried, she couldn't figure it out. She even had the older brother stay, but all he did was cry, dad tried and he would cry. The hardest thing was that mom was going to school to better herself, but this child would not allow her to do it. She tried with gma, but all he did was cry. Mom had to stop going to school.
So foward, several years later, I see him about 6months ago, and you can tell there is something wrong with him, I too think its boarder line autism, but he was just a high needs child too. I wonder if mom ever finished school.

to the poster above who said that we can't diagnose children, let me tell you, we have (all providers) have so many kids go thru our house that we can tell you what their problems are better than any doctor who sees them once. Doctors rely on the information that is given to them, they don't sit down and start going thru check lists, heck every child would have issues. When you see a child every day, who else is better to make the difficult call, a person who sees them all the time or a person who sees them once.
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:19 AM
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I was looking to see if crying all day was normal at this age. I raised my own and yes I had one who cried all day from the day she was born till she was 18 months old and finally was diagnosed, cerebral palsy with seizures and muscle spasms, medication and she stopped crying. But lately I have a run of children as I am a nanny who cry all day and night. They cry just as much for mom and dad except when they are held so they are held all day. I had a family for two years, baby was great, but then I was let go because they went back to there country, and I have had 6 families in a year and I leave them all for the same reason weeks and weeks of screaming, children in my ears. 9 months, 16 month old twins, 2 yo and the list goes on, none sleep through the night, mom or dad sleeps in with one child while the other sleeps in with the other parent in a separate room. All still on bottles, pacifiers, Teddy bears and blankets. No routines no schedules.you literally hold the child all day long, and you can't get them to stop screaming in your ears. I am a live in so I get no break at night, mom and dad come home kids still screaming and you have to hear it all night, ever hour or two they are awake for a bottle or the pacifier came out of their mouth or dad got up to go potty and the kid screams. I am with twins right now and they are 16 months old, they can not or will not hold their own bottle, they can not or will not sleep in a crib, and they will not even attempt to feed themselves. They cry about 16 hours a day or night. You can not put them down, when mom and dad are home one has one and the other has the other. But for 10 hours a day I have them by myself, 46 pounds and I can not put them down, I have to feed them one at a time, so nap time goes like this, I feed one the bottle while the other stands and screams at me, then I feed the other the bottle while the first one stands and screams, then I attempt to rock them to sleep together, 46 pounds in my arms, with blankets and teddies and pacifiers. If anything falls we start all over, the screaming last for about 1 and a half hours and finally they go to sleep, all together we are now into a good 2 and 1/2 hour ordeal. And finally the screaming stops, but I have to move, my arms are breaking and my back is killing me, but if I try to lay one down I wake them both up, if I shift in the seat I wake them both up, if the door bell rings I wake them both up. At most they sleep 20 minutes before something moves, even if it is them moving and waking the other in my arm, and the screaming starts all over again.

My parents tell me that this is the attachment movement method it raises better adjusted happier kids. What a crock of sh**.

I am going to tell my parents tonight that this is not working out and they need to find something else. From now on I will be asking if the parents use the attachment method, for better bonding, if they do then they need to stay home with there own children and attach to them for 21 years and not seek daycare or nannies.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:38 AM
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Default I have a crier right now in my dayhome.

I take care of two children and my daughter. The boy is 11months old, he has some health issues. His airways are smaller than what they should be. He always sounds congested, but mom says its normal and if it starts to sound like popcorn in his chest give him his inhalor. Any ways, the mom told me they babied him at home and she appologizes now. I have had him for 3weeks, Tuesday -Thursday. I cant walk away from him with out him crying. I will walk from the high chair to the kitchen sink...2 steps away and he will cry so hard he starts coughing and choking on his saliva. He barely crawls, he will sit by himself, but definately not developing like my other kids. Most of them all already pulling them self up walking around the coffee table. He is no where near that and I think its because he is always being held at home. Its getting tough on me because, I do have to just let him cry at times, where I need to cook lunch for the other kids and myself or help the other kids with other things. I have no other choice. but to let him cry, and it kills me to do that. I dont want to have to let him go, his sister is a really great little girl, very smart and for her age of 2years old. I was wondering if anyone had any tips or things I could try to get him more comfortable here. When he crys I know he is not hungry or needs a change, his chest doesnt soubd like popcorn, he just wants me to hold him and I cant do that all the time. Help!
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  #38  
Old 03-17-2015, 09:39 AM
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a 15 month old can't be a "spoiled brat", sounds like some home care providers aren't educated/qualified to care for high needs children. You must first recognize that a child is a high needs child, which some here seem clueless about, before you can help them adjust to daycare setting.
Some children also have developmental problems surfacing, which you need to be able to recognize...child care centres usually have a resource teacher on hand to help children with issues like sensory processing disorders, autism spectrum, adhd...
if you are incapable of providing the care that a child needs, you are obliged to be honest and inform the parents of that child. it isn't about you being able to afford letting them go, it's about the needs and interests of the children.
shame on any childcare provider who puts their needs first!
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Old 03-17-2015, 11:56 AM
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Thank goodness you are here to set everyone straight.
Too bad you didn't notice the last comment was almost 2 years ago
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  #40  
Old 03-17-2015, 12:04 PM
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Thank goodness you are here to set everyone straight.
Too bad you didn't notice the last comment was almost 2 years ago
And the original post was 5.5 years ago. That's got to be some kind of record!
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  #41  
Old 03-18-2015, 12:00 PM
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LOL! I know this post is old but I just had this situation myself. So many children have disorders now this particular child had the disorder of having permissive parents and when she couldn't get her own way and had to follow the group she cried hysterically. Glad she is gone
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  #42  
Old 10-01-2015, 02:12 PM
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Unhappy I know this is really old, but I need help!!!

I have this girl that's turning 3 in two months. She has an older deaf brother who's recently got a cochlear implant, and her parents put her in our daycare because they need to help her brother with language and motor skills. He's super lively and cares a lot for his sister. But she constantly fights with him. When she's with us, she goes in (most of the times) crying. Her cry is like if she was trying to shout an U. But she's fine one moment, playing and everything... Then, "uuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!". She's crying and everyone's shouting that she's doing so. It gets on my nerves. Whenever she goes to the bathroom, she's talking all happy about everything. She even jumps and shouts and smiles and laughs when she's doing ballet. But whenever she's outside, we have to be like: or, she's always crying; or, she's never doing anything. She just gets all rigid in the middle of the hallway. We could be telling everyone: "Line up!" and they start singing and marching, and she doesn't even stands up. She just puts her finger in her mouth and starts making those toddler i-don't-want-to-look-at-you faces. Ah, she also clings a lot into my boyfriend/workmate because he's always carrying her and tickling her whenever she cries, but I tell him doing it like that is wrong because she'll feel she can cry to gain attention. She's been with us for 10 months now. Any ideas?
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  #43  
Old 10-01-2015, 02:24 PM
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I have this girl that's turning 3 in two months. She has an older deaf brother who's recently got a cochlear implant, and her parents put her in our daycare because they need to help her brother with language and motor skills. He's super lively and cares a lot for his sister. But she constantly fights with him. When she's with us, she goes in (most of the times) crying. Her cry is like if she was trying to shout an U. But she's fine one moment, playing and everything... Then, "uuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!". She's crying and everyone's shouting that she's doing so. It gets on my nerves. Whenever she goes to the bathroom, she's talking all happy about everything. She even jumps and shouts and smiles and laughs when she's doing ballet. But whenever she's outside, we have to be like: or, she's always crying; or, she's never doing anything. She just gets all rigid in the middle of the hallway. We could be telling everyone: "Line up!" and they start singing and marching, and she doesn't even stands up. She just puts her finger in her mouth and starts making those toddler i-don't-want-to-look-at-you faces. Ah, she also clings a lot into my boyfriend/workmate because he's always carrying her and tickling her whenever she cries, but I tell him doing it like that is wrong because she'll feel she can cry to gain attention. She's been with us for 10 months now. Any ideas?
do you have a crying spot or a place to let her just cry it out.
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Old 10-09-2015, 01:57 PM
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I have been running a daycare for almost 4 years and the only thing the works for me is putting the child in a separate room in the pack and play until I calm down. This works for older children too. I have talked with the parents about it and everyone is okay with it. Its for the safety of the children. I have in a few instances called the parents to come get their children but thats if they are crying for more than an hour.
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Old 11-03-2015, 01:44 PM
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I have had twin boys for about four months now and I have had them Monday through Friday 8 to 6 every day I recently got married and took two weeks vacation I have been back to work now for two weeks and before the boys where perfect they didn't need me they were self soothing Twins played with each other really only cried when they were hungry or tired now since I reopened one twin is the same as before the other One literally cries all day if I am not holding him if I put him in something that he would normally like, like a bouncer he would be screaming crying like he's been hurt he cries when he goes down for a nap and even if I hold him and think he fell asleep as soon as he touches the pack and play he is screaming I don't know what else to do I love these kids and their family and after four months of having them I don't want to let them go but I need to figure out what is wrong with one of the twins and what I can do to help him he seems just so miserable but as soon as I pick him up he is all happy, it can't just be him needing attention cry because it's all day even if I give him attention but I am not holding him he still screams and cries he literally needs to be in physical contact to make him stop crying. I need help or tips on what to do to help hin and if anyone knows what could've caused him to be like this all the sudden . Thank you in advance
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  #46  
Old 11-13-2015, 06:07 PM
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I work at a childcare center as the only provider in the 0-3 year old room. There is a girl who is 2 years old who has been coming for months, and still cries the entire time her mother is gone. She screams "mama" with short 2-3 minute breaks in between. If I try to distract her with a toy or book she screams louder and throws it across the room. My boss will not consider not allowing her to come, so I'm stuck with her. I cannot interact with the other children because she is so loud. Any ideas??
Old thread but you could always give her a sedative.
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Old 11-13-2015, 06:21 PM
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I was looking to see if crying all day was normal at this age. I raised my own and yes I had one who cried all day from the day she was born till she was 18 months old and finally was diagnosed, cerebral palsy with seizures and muscle spasms, medication and she stopped crying. But lately I have a run of children as I am a nanny who cry all day and night. They cry just as much for mom and dad except when they are held so they are held all day. I had a family for two years, baby was great, but then I was let go because they went back to there country, and I have had 6 families in a year and I leave them all for the same reason weeks and weeks of screaming, children in my ears. 9 months, 16 month old twins, 2 yo and the list goes on, none sleep through the night, mom or dad sleeps in with one child while the other sleeps in with the other parent in a separate room. All still on bottles, pacifiers, Teddy bears and blankets. No routines no schedules.you literally hold the child all day long, and you can't get them to stop screaming in your ears. I am a live in so I get no break at night, mom and dad come home kids still screaming and you have to hear it all night, ever hour or two they are awake for a bottle or the pacifier came out of their mouth or dad got up to go potty and the kid screams. I am with twins right now and they are 16 months old, they can not or will not hold their own bottle, they can not or will not sleep in a crib, and they will not even attempt to feed themselves. They cry about 16 hours a day or night. You can not put them down, when mom and dad are home one has one and the other has the other. But for 10 hours a day I have them by myself, 46 pounds and I can not put them down, I have to feed them one at a time, so nap time goes like this, I feed one the bottle while the other stands and screams at me, then I feed the other the bottle while the first one stands and screams, then I attempt to rock them to sleep together, 46 pounds in my arms, with blankets and teddies and pacifiers. If anything falls we start all over, the screaming last for about 1 and a half hours and finally they go to sleep, all together we are now into a good 2 and 1/2 hour ordeal. And finally the screaming stops, but I have to move, my arms are breaking and my back is killing me, but if I try to lay one down I wake them both up, if I shift in the seat I wake them both up, if the door bell rings I wake them both up. At most they sleep 20 minutes before something moves, even if it is them moving and waking the other in my arm, and the screaming starts all over again.

My parents tell me that this is the attachment movement method it raises better adjusted happier kids. What a crock of sh**.

I am going to tell my parents tonight that this is not working out and they need to find something else. From now on I will be asking if the parents use the attachment method, for better bonding, if they do then they need to stay home with there own children and attach to them for 21 years and not seek daycare or nannies.
Like young animals, only worse and not as well trained.
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Old 10-05-2016, 07:39 AM
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I have a 12 month old that I've been watching 1 day a week for about 6 hours a day. She's a friend of mines daughter and I watch her on my one day off during the week. The other days she goes to another sitter. She cries from the time she walks through my door till her dad picks her up. She only wants to be held, won't eat at all and won't interact with my 15 month old. She knows how to crawl but won't at my house. She just sits and cries until I pick her up and its a high pitch scream! Neither if my kids were like this. But I know the 12 month olds older sister was like this too. I asked the mother if she's like this at the other daycare where there's several other children and apparently its worse. Her last daycare provider quit for unknown reasons. I've tried distracting her with toys and I've also tried walking away. Nothing helps. She doesn't make it 1 hour here before she's so upset she falls asleep. I just don't know what to do to help soothe her. She wakes up from her nap screaming too. I want to help her but it keeps me from playing with my daughter too. When her parents pick her up her face is so red from crying all day and I feel like it makes me look bad but I feel like I've tried everything. She's too young to understand me explaining to her that its time to play and stop crying so I don't know how to help her. I feel like it can't be good for her developmentally either because she's not trying to play and learn at all. I need my insanity back and I use this day during the week to clean my house. My youngest will play and distract herself mostly while I get stuff done but when she hears the 12 month old crying she loses it too sometimes. Help please any advice!
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  #49  
Old 10-05-2016, 07:45 AM
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I have a 12 month old that I've been watching 1 day a week for about 6 hours a day. She's a friend of mines daughter and I watch her on my one day off during the week. The other days she goes to another sitter. She cries from the time she walks through my door till her dad picks her up. She only wants to be held, won't eat at all and won't interact with my 15 month old. She knows how to crawl but won't at my house. She just sits and cries until I pick her up and its a high pitch scream! Neither if my kids were like this. But I know the 12 month olds older sister was like this too. I asked the mother if she's like this at the other daycare where there's several other children and apparently its worse. Her last daycare provider quit for unknown reasons. I've tried distracting her with toys and I've also tried walking away. Nothing helps. She doesn't make it 1 hour here before she's so upset she falls asleep. I just don't know what to do to help soothe her. She wakes up from her nap screaming too. I want to help her but it keeps me from playing with my daughter too. When her parents pick her up her face is so red from crying all day and I feel like it makes me look bad but I feel like I've tried everything. She's too young to understand me explaining to her that its time to play and stop crying so I don't know how to help her. I feel like it can't be good for her developmentally either because she's not trying to play and learn at all. I need my insanity back and I use this day during the week to clean my house. My youngest will play and distract herself mostly while I get stuff done but when she hears the 12 month old crying she loses it too sometimes. Help please any advice!
Honestly, it's just not worth it for one day a week.

I'm also inclined to think that if she attend another provider for other days and you just one day, that schedule alone may confuse her and be creating her issues.

Also, some kids are just not cut out for group care and need a nanny or someone that CAN hold them all day long.

I know it's hard since the parent is your friend but honestly, ask yourself if this is worth it. For you? For the child? For your child?
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:17 AM
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I wonder if there's a way to find someone to watch her daughter for her. She only pays me and her other daycare provider $25 a day which is not much but there's gotta be someone who wouldn't mind making that 4 days a week as something on the side. There's gotta be someone who will watch her. It may make it easier on the 12 month old to just have a single person watching her instead. Apparently her other day care provider has the same issues with her so I dont think it matters who is watching her. Her mom likes me watching her because she says she does better here but I don't know how that's possible because she cries all day long here.
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Old 10-05-2016, 08:28 AM
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I wonder if there's a way to find someone to watch her daughter for her. She only pays me and her other daycare provider $25 a day which is not much but there's gotta be someone who wouldn't mind making that 4 days a week as something on the side. There's gotta be someone who will watch her. It may make it easier on the 12 month old to just have a single person watching her instead. Apparently her other day care provider has the same issues with her so I dont think it matters who is watching her. Her mom likes me watching her because she says she does better here but I don't know how that's possible because she cries all day long here.
Yes, I wonder why mom thinks she does better with you? Maybe as her friend, you are sugar coating how bad it really is when you relay to her how the day went?

How come the regular provider isn't taking care of her every day and the mother uses you once a week? Is it a space issue at the other daycare maybe? It probably doesnt matter but I was just curious why mom chose to have you provide care for one day and use daycare the others.

Honestly, I wouldnt worry about whether or not there is or isnt someone else available to watch her. It shouldn't be your concern. I know you are worried about it since mom is your friend but like I said in my first post, you are compromising the quality time you get with your child for someone else's child and no matter how guilty we feel when we let others down, your child's needs and your ability to spend time with her should be more important than the struggle to find for your friend.

I would tell her the stress is just too much and that after X day, you just can't watch her anymore. Time flies and if you are a working mom yourself that only gets one day a week off to spend with your child, you are going to look back and wish you would have had that time spent in a quieter, less disruptive manner.

Im sorry you are dealing with this. I have done the same before and I had no idea how badly the non-stop screaming, crying really was until I no longer had the child in care....it was amazing how much of a stress relief it was to not hear that constant crying.
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  #52  
Old 12-06-2016, 09:08 AM
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Unhappy I understand

I am a mother of 7. A 10 year military spouse and watch 2 children 5 days a week. The almost 10 month old screams all day. Wont play, doesnt eat real food, is always seemingly miserable. After 7 children and over 6 years if daycare in my home, I have never experienced such an unhappy kid. Hes extremely small and non social. Scared of everything. Nothing helps. Not holding, feeding, napping, playing...nothing. I don't have the time for this. I have a ton to do daily. I cannot fathom this is normal. I have no clue how his parents deal with him. She even wants him swaddled still at almost 10 months. He is like the size of a 5 month old, but still. She is a friend. I have told her, and she feels bad which isnt my goal. I have no dang clue how to make him happy.
Frustration out of sympathy. I feel sorry for the kiddo.
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  #53  
Old 12-09-2016, 04:16 PM
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You guys all of these sound like kids with food allergies ESPECIALLY the ones where the kid is a little smaller for their age, or randomly cries EVEN WHILE WATCHING A SHOW OR PLAYING. If its consistent, its likely food allergy (cow proteins, soy... you name it.. could be starting off those tummies and mom holds them to calm them down)

Hope it helps. Especially the small babies (for their age) arent getting enough nutrition cause they are allergic to something. Suggest mom keeps food diary, start cutting
Dairy
Egg
Soy

etc.
See what helps.
Remember dairy is disguised as "Casein" in MANY foods you dont expect to have it, EVEN LABELED "nondairy" might have casein...
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  #54  
Old 12-09-2016, 06:10 PM
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I had a boy with separation anxiety I worked with him two days. He was crying non-stop during both of that days.
I decided that it does not worth it. And you know what? His place was taken in a couple weeks after his termination.
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  #55  
Old 01-19-2017, 10:21 AM
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Default Having the same issue now in 2017

We transition children every 6 months to the new room. I work in Infant 2 and have 2 babies who give me a run for me money everyday. Today was one of my breaking point days and I went to speak with my director. No help at all smh. They are 7.5 months old. They have been here since 6 weeks old. I think it may be the transition and teething and high maintenance. I love infants but this may be my last infant room position
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  #56  
Old 01-19-2017, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by sarahtheresa02 View Post
I had to let him go last week. I just couldnt take it anymore. Kids that were so well behaved were starting to act up. His mom was offended and I tried to explain that its mostly for the good of her child. He was so upset everyday that I can bet that this will or has happened at every daycare he has been to. I refunded her money and never heard from her again.

I felt bad to reject someone but there was no other good option.
Parents are never happy no matter what we do, they just don't get it!If we keep a child that's obviously not happy with us, we are bad providers, and if we suggest to the parents to find a better solution in the interest of the child, we are still bad providers
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  #57  
Old 01-20-2017, 07:05 AM
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Parents are never happy no matter what we do, they just don't get it!If we keep a child that's obviously not happy with us, we are bad providers, and if we suggest to the parents to find a better solution in the interest of the child, we are still bad providers
This is so true! I called a mom a few weeks ago to pick up her nonstop crying child (this child has been with me for over a year but due to being sleep deprived after the holidays had a rough transition back to care) and mom seemed annoyed that I had called her. Meanwhile if you tell them their child cried all day and you didn't call they would be angry either way my contract states that I only care for kids able to participate in the program so she was being called whether she liked it or not!
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Old 01-20-2017, 07:25 AM
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This thread is from 2009 just in case anyone was expecting a reply from someone.
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Old 05-04-2018, 08:41 AM
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I firmly believe that not all kids are cut out for daycare. There ARE kids who, no matter how long in daycare or how great the provider will NEVER fully adjust.

The fact that he only stops crying when you carry him makes me wonder if he is carried a lot at home. Obviously these parents have done a huge disservice to him if they are carrying him around all day.

What would I do? I would terminate. BTDT and it's far too much to ask a provider to listen to constant screaming for 10 hours a day for THREE weeks. Also, this behaviour affects the other kids in care too. Not fair to them to have to listen to it either.


Three weeks are you kidding me? That sounds like heaven!!

I’m a preschool teacher who just started a new job six weeks ago, there is a kid terrorizing the entire preschool with her screams, she is 2yrs old and apparently, she had been doing this for A FULL FRICKIN YEAR!!! Before I got there. We just can’t get her to stop screaming unless we pick her ul!! I fefuse now because I am done with it, I will not pick her up, touch her look at her or even go near her unless she is quiet. So she knows that will NOT work on me, and she hates me for it. She goes dead quiet and walks away anytime I am in the same room. Goes screamng to another teacher and I can’t be happier about it.... such a screamer she gets carried all the time at home. And I have heard her mom sayig ”oh He goes quiet when you pick her up” ... problem this mom does NOT seem to see is that there are sixteen other Children in this preschool and only three teachers... one can not be locked trying to soote her child all day, it is exhausting for everyone around. But this kid just screams her lungs out unless you STAND UP and Carry her. God give me strength I can not listen to that child any more it is wearing us all down... and to hear it has been going on for a year?! Oh my god... I can not even...
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Old 06-13-2018, 07:20 PM
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I have sort of the same situation right now. I have this little girl who does nothing but scream when any of the other kids look at her or talk to her. She starts screaming if my husband is home and talks to me. Today, I took her and another kid out with me, and as soon as someone said hi to her, she started screaming and wouldn't stop till we got back to the car. She is approx 15 months old. I think she is just a spoiled brat who gets her way by screaming. I find myself yelling at my own daughter, because my daughter wants to play with her and comfort her (my daughter is 10), but she just screams louder. I don't want to be yelling at my own kids just because they are trying to be nice, but the screaming is grating on the nerves, so I tell my daughter she is not allowed to talk to her. All the other kids love my children, except this one. I can't afford to let her go.....just venting I guess.
You should give up all together. You’re poor kids. What are younteaching these children? Money is more important than a child’s well being. It’s clear you don’t know how to care for a child and to say she is a “spoiled brat” at 15 months old. You should really do all of the children in your life a favor and disappear! Even if you are (as you so eloquently put it) venting it’s very clear you harbor animosity towards this poor child and she deserves far more than you have to offer. Geezus.
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Old 06-13-2018, 07:36 PM
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Three weeks are you kidding me? That sounds like heaven!!

I’m a preschool teacher who just started a new job six weeks ago, there is a kid terrorizing the entire preschool with her screams, she is 2yrs old and apparently, she had been doing this for A FULL FRICKIN YEAR!!! Before I got there. We just can’t get her to stop screaming unless we pick her ul!! I fefuse now because I am done with it, I will not pick her up, touch her look at her or even go near her unless she is quiet. So she knows that will NOT work on me, and she hates me for it. She goes dead quiet and walks away anytime I am in the same room. Goes screamng to another teacher and I can’t be happier about it.... such a screamer she gets carried all the time at home. And I have heard her mom sayig ”oh He goes quiet when you pick her up” ... problem this mom does NOT seem to see is that there are sixteen other Children in this preschool and only three teachers... one can not be locked trying to soote her child all day, it is exhausting for everyone around. But this kid just screams her lungs out unless you STAND UP and Carry her. God give me strength I can not listen to that child any more it is wearing us all down... and to hear it has been going on for a year?! Oh my god... I can not even...
It’s becoming abundantly clear to me that a whole lot of “childcare providers” have a very screwed up view of what thee position actually requires. The statements made by not only you but several others on here have me nauseas. This is the profession you’ve chosen. To loath a child in such a way is irreconcilable. You need to find new jobs like yesterday. The disservice you do to these children on a daily bases is quite reprehensible. Please quit what you’re doing ASAP and just start picking up garbage for cash. Seems to be the only thing I might even entertain employing you as. Geezus. Stop damaging these young minds please
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Old 06-13-2018, 08:49 PM
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It’s becoming abundantly clear to me that a whole lot of “childcare providers” have a very screwed up view of what thee position actually requires. The statements made by not only you but several others on here have me nauseas. This is the profession you’ve chosen. To loath a child in such a way is irreconcilable. You need to find new jobs like yesterday. The disservice you do to these children on a daily bases is quite reprehensible. Please quit what you’re doing ASAP and just start picking up garbage for cash. Seems to be the only thing I might even entertain employing you as. Geezus. Stop damaging these young minds please
The people doing the biggest diserbic e to children these days are the parents. You can't have the eggs without the chickens, and in many of these cases, including the one you quoted, the chickens are sabotaging the daycare relationship from the very beginning. When you know your child is going to be attending daycare, you have to do your best to set them up for success. We always talk about getting our kids prepared for kindy and sending them off, but what about our infants? We hold them all day, cosleep, never introduce a bottle, keep the environment perfect for baby's liking, ect...then 2 months later we send them to an opposite environment expecting the provider to complete a miracle, with as little stress to the baby as possible.
And when they get frustrated, they are called trash, monsters, "obviously need a new job", ect. I think providers may try too hard to "fix" it and end up resentful of the amount of time and attention one child is needing, so I personally think it is best to part ways or give parents a timeframe to help get baby on board. But, of course, many people work in centers and do not have control of who stays or goes, and in those cases, a needy baby can negatively impact dozens of people.
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Old 06-14-2018, 04:53 AM
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The people doing the biggest diserbic e to children these days are the parents. You can't have the eggs without the chickens, and in many of these cases, including the one you quoted, the chickens are sabotaging the daycare relationship from the very beginning. When you know your child is going to be attending daycare, you have to do your best to set them up for success. We always talk about getting our kids prepared for kindy and sending them off, but what about our infants? We hold them all day, cosleep, never introduce a bottle, keep the environment perfect for baby's liking, ect...then 2 months later we send them to an opposite environment expecting the provider to complete a miracle, with as little stress to the baby as possible.
And when they get frustrated, they are called trash, monsters, "obviously need a new job", ect. I think providers may try too hard to "fix" it and end up resentful of the amount of time and attention one child is needing, so I personally think it is best to part ways or give parents a timeframe to help get baby on board. But, of course, many people work in centers and do not have control of who stays or goes, and in those cases, a needy baby can negatively impact dozens of people.

We also have rule and regulations we have to stick with. Parents can do whatever they want at home. Co-sleep, let them sleep in swings etc.. Then they send them to daycare to expecting the child to just magically lay flat on the back in the crib. I had an infant start with me at 6 months. She had not yet been trained how to take a bottle. Those two weeks of getting her to take a bottle was a nightmare for her and me. I was this close to telling her mom I couldn't keep her. Mom was home on maternity leave and had 6 months to get her trained on the bottle.Let me guess it is my job to do things parents do not want to do!
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Old 06-14-2018, 10:26 AM
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I almost hate to say it, but have you tried the computer? My belief is that there are more "Gifted" children in these daycare then most people think. That means they have high IQs and need constant mental stimulation. A Disney learning program on a computer is VERY entertaining. Our son started at 2 years old and it definitely kept him engaged. The problem is in getting them to leave the computer when you need them off. At that point I suggest they earn time on the computer by doing what is expected at other learning times. We use the same technique with our daughter wanting to use the Wii. We can't stop her from wanting to clean, wash, vacuum the house all day long just to earn minutes on the Wii. We've created a monster, and I'm not complaining!
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Old thread but you could always give her a sedative.
Good lord I know these are old but DO NOT FOLLOW THIS ADVICE.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
It’s becoming abundantly clear to me that a whole lot of “childcare providers” have a very screwed up view of what thee position actually requires. The statements made by not only you but several others on here have me nauseas. This is the profession you’ve chosen. To loath a child in such a way is irreconcilable. You need to find new jobs like yesterday. The disservice you do to these children on a daily bases is quite reprehensible. Please quit what you’re doing ASAP and just start picking up garbage for cash. Seems to be the only thing I might even entertain employing you as. Geezus. Stop damaging these young minds please



Do you vent or complain about your job? Because EVERYONE does. Just because a person is frustrated about a child does not make him/her a monster. She is seeking help/advice/commiseration on a forum FOR childcare providers.

It is apparent that you have never worked in child care.

It is INCREDIBLY long hours, INCREDIBLY underpaid, INCREDIBLY demanding profession. Most last LESS THAN two years for a reason.

If we say we do this for ANY REASON other than 'we just LOVEEEEEEE children' we are considered monsters. Well, I can tell you my accountant doesn't JUST LOOVEEE math and taxes- he has bills to pay as well. I can tell you for SURE he vents about new tax laws (we vent about licensing regulations) or disgruntled clients (parents) or anything in between.

I am incredible at my job. I have a clientele base and education that far trumps my 'competition' and I STILL vent.

The 16mo was a 'monster' today, the 4yo had a smart mouth, the parent who DARED to ask me to work an hour late so she could go to the gym might be the death of me (and I can't swear on this forum, because that is NOT how I worded it when I sent a text to my husband with a copy of her 'request'). The kids in my care don't even know any of this, because I am an adult and capable of handling my emotions. VENTING allows me to not let those emotions become bottled up- to be a BETTER provider.

Also- parenting has gone WAY downhill in the last 10 years or so. There is an extreme lack of discipline, age appropriate behavior expectations and a whole lot of bribing, plugging children in, or giving in to shut them up. I can't/won't do any of that, so I have about 100x more behavioral issues than I did 10 years ago. PARENT CREATED, but daycare teachers, school teachers, SOCIETY alllllll deal with the fallout.

(and yes, I've seen some VERY spoiled 15 month olds) You cannot spoil a young infant, but you can spoil the hell out of a toddler.

Every Monday morning is like a shock to their system. No more TV, no more candy/junk food, no more constant snacking. Regular meals, reading stories you can't swipe, interacting, using language skills, playing outside, following directions.
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  #65  
Old 08-11-2020, 03:24 PM
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Wow. This whole thread made me never want to pay for daycare. LOL. 10 years of your complaining just saved me $1800 a month.
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Old 08-12-2020, 04:26 AM
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Wow. This whole thread made me never want to pay for daycare. LOL. 10 years of your complaining just saved me $1800 a month.
Awesome. Funny that the part you zeroed in on was the payment aspect..... Speaks volumes.

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