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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Taking a Family Back... WWYD??
Crazy8 11:09 AM 02-16-2012
I tried to post this anonymously a few days ago but it never posted - don't know if it wasn't approved or what 
so I'm just going to post without much detail - sorry if that makes it more confusing.
Would you take back a family who paid you on time, stayed home with sick kids but was also just a thorn in your side, always demanding special for their child, world revolves around them mentality type people?? The kind that left on good terms but you were just fine wishing them well and saying goodbye??
If you have a bunch of openings coming up and know they are going to be harder to fill would you take this family back??
so I'm just going to post without much detail - sorry if that makes it more confusing.Would you take back a family who paid you on time, stayed home with sick kids but was also just a thorn in your side, always demanding special for their child, world revolves around them mentality type people?? The kind that left on good terms but you were just fine wishing them well and saying goodbye??
If you have a bunch of openings coming up and know they are going to be harder to fill would you take this family back??
countrymom 11:20 AM 02-16-2012
hmm if I needed the money yes. But I would lay the ground rules out first. Maybe they changed????
beachgrl 11:21 AM 02-16-2012
Id prolly take them back but Im desperate lol..havent been full yet since opening but seriously...maybe have a very specific contract for them that goes over any issues/thorn in side type stuff that you can address from the get go.
Idk, kinda depends on what things bothered you..inhad a family i wouldnt take back now but they did not pay on time, were inconsiderate and flaky and i was glad to see them go as well as the high needs tantrumy dcb.
Idk, kinda depends on what things bothered you..inhad a family i wouldnt take back now but they did not pay on time, were inconsiderate and flaky and i was glad to see them go as well as the high needs tantrumy dcb.
saved4always 11:24 AM 02-16-2012
Only if I really needed the money and I didn't have any other alternatives for my openings. If I was happy to see the back of them the first time they left, I don't think I would be happier dealing with them the second time around. I would figure they are going to be the same as before.
Crazy8 11:33 AM 02-16-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
hmm if I needed the money yes. But I would lay the ground rules out first. Maybe they changed????
I had hoped for this as we all seem to calm down after the first child, LOL, but nope, after one phone call I knew that wasn't the case. hmm if I needed the money yes. But I would lay the ground rules out first. Maybe they changed????
Heidi 11:33 AM 02-16-2012
Yes, if you can lay down the ground rules in advance, and if you have the backbone to carry them out.
GOT MILK????
GOT MILK????
wdmmom 11:40 AM 02-16-2012
What was their reasoning for leaving in the first place?
How many daycares has their child been enrolled in?
What is their reasoning for wanting to leave their current provider?
I'd take those factors into consideration first. If they were a PITA family, you might want to mention that you've changed a few things since they left including (whatever they did that you didn't like) and see if they are still interested.
I've had a family want to come back and I gladly would have taken them if I had the room. Since they had left, they had another baby and the kids weren't that far apart so they were needing 2 infant spots and I couldn't meet their needs.
How many daycares has their child been enrolled in?
What is their reasoning for wanting to leave their current provider?
I'd take those factors into consideration first. If they were a PITA family, you might want to mention that you've changed a few things since they left including (whatever they did that you didn't like) and see if they are still interested.
I've had a family want to come back and I gladly would have taken them if I had the room. Since they had left, they had another baby and the kids weren't that far apart so they were needing 2 infant spots and I couldn't meet their needs.
Cat Herder 11:41 AM 02-16-2012
No 
I don't do sequels.
I don't do sequels.
bunnyslippers 11:42 AM 02-16-2012
I would probably take them back, based on the fact that they paid you and respected your sick policy. That being said, I would make sure to have a frank discussion about what you will and will not do this time around.
I struggled with a similar situation once, and felt that the reliable payment and respect for my policies was worth the additional headache.
I struggled with a similar situation once, and felt that the reliable payment and respect for my policies was worth the additional headache.
saved4always 12:05 PM 02-16-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
No
I don't do sequels.
No
I don't do sequels.
MrsB 12:30 PM 02-16-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
No
I don't do sequels.
No
I don't do sequels.
I was thinking to myself part 2 is always worse than part 1.
daycare 12:40 PM 02-16-2012
lol....that is too funny.
Yes part two of any movie is always bad..
I thought about it awhile back when a family of mine that termed asked to bring their other child back. I thought long and hard and had to remember how horrible it was. There was no amount of money that was going to take me back there.
Yes part two of any movie is always bad..
I thought about it awhile back when a family of mine that termed asked to bring their other child back. I thought long and hard and had to remember how horrible it was. There was no amount of money that was going to take me back there.
MamaBear 12:42 PM 02-16-2012
I did this once and regretted it. I needed the money so I took a very annoying family back. They paid on time and did all the right things but the mom was SUPER annoying. She'd take forever to leave and had to know every detail about what the kids did each day... down to how many poops were in the kids diaper! Ugh.
Her kids would always bring diseases here even though they were a clean looking family. The daughter brought MRSA and Hand Foot Mouth disease... just to name a couple! They were a family that on their last day, I literally did a happy dance around my house! haha... A few months later the mom asked if they could come back because the son wasn't doing well in his preschool. I reluctantly said yes and still wish I said no.
She irritated me even more the second time around. So if you don't need the money - I'd say don't do it!
Her kids would always bring diseases here even though they were a clean looking family. The daughter brought MRSA and Hand Foot Mouth disease... just to name a couple! They were a family that on their last day, I literally did a happy dance around my house! haha... A few months later the mom asked if they could come back because the son wasn't doing well in his preschool. I reluctantly said yes and still wish I said no.
She irritated me even more the second time around. So if you don't need the money - I'd say don't do it!
DCMom 12:49 PM 02-16-2012
I guess it depends. If they left on good terms and the problems were the run of the mill variety, I think I would. BUT...I would be going over the policy handbook with them in minute detail, stressing the policies that they tended to bend.
I actually took my 'kept-a-diaper-change-spreadsheet' family back when the kids were older (and out of diapers) Of course I made them beg, but when I did I was very clear that it was my way or the highway. They actually turned out to be a really good family the second time around.
I actually took my 'kept-a-diaper-change-spreadsheet' family back when the kids were older (and out of diapers
) Of course I made them beg, but when I did I was very clear that it was my way or the highway. They actually turned out to be a really good family the second time around.
Crazy8 03:25 PM 02-16-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
I did this once and regretted it. I needed the money so I took a very annoying family back. They paid on time and did all the right things but the mom was SUPER annoying. She'd take forever to leave and had to know every detail about what the kids did each day... down to how many poops were in the kids diaper! Ugh.
Her kids would always bring diseases here even though they were a clean looking family. The daughter brought MRSA and Hand Foot Mouth disease... just to name a couple! They were a family that on their last day, I literally did a happy dance around my house! haha... A few months later the mom asked if they could come back because the son wasn't doing well in his preschool. I reluctantly said yes and still wish I said no.
She irritated me even more the second time around. So if you don't need the money - I'd say don't do it!
I did this once and regretted it. I needed the money so I took a very annoying family back. They paid on time and did all the right things but the mom was SUPER annoying. She'd take forever to leave and had to know every detail about what the kids did each day... down to how many poops were in the kids diaper! Ugh.
Her kids would always bring diseases here even though they were a clean looking family. The daughter brought MRSA and Hand Foot Mouth disease... just to name a couple! They were a family that on their last day, I literally did a happy dance around my house! haha... A few months later the mom asked if they could come back because the son wasn't doing well in his preschool. I reluctantly said yes and still wish I said no.
She irritated me even more the second time around. So if you don't need the money - I'd say don't do it!
Your first paragraph describes this family to a T!!!!!! She had to know the consistancy of poops in her 2 year old. Let's put it this way.... even her pediatrician kicked her out of the practice, LOL!!! She'd start most sentences with "I'm not a neurotic mom, but...." Yeah, if you have to start sentences with that chances are you ARE being neurotic.
Heidi 03:41 PM 02-16-2012
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
Your first paragraph describes this family to a T!!!!!! She had to know the consistancy of poops in her 2 year old. Let's put it this way.... even her pediatrician kicked her out of the practice, LOL!!! She'd start most sentences with "I'm not a neurotic mom, but...." Yeah, if you have to start sentences with that chances are you ARE being neurotic.
I always cringe when I hear people say "I love him to death but....."Your first paragraph describes this family to a T!!!!!! She had to know the consistancy of poops in her 2 year old. Let's put it this way.... even her pediatrician kicked her out of the practice, LOL!!! She'd start most sentences with "I'm not a neurotic mom, but...." Yeah, if you have to start sentences with that chances are you ARE being neurotic.
to death? Isn't that sort of passive/aggressive?
Crazy8 05:17 PM 02-16-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
What was their reasoning for leaving in the first place?
How many daycares has their child been enrolled in?
What is their reasoning for wanting to leave their current provider?
I'd take those factors into consideration first. If they were a PITA family, you might want to mention that you've changed a few things since they left including (whatever they did that you didn't like) and see if they are still interested.
I've had a family want to come back and I gladly would have taken them if I had the room. Since they had left, they had another baby and the kids weren't that far apart so they were needing 2 infant spots and I couldn't meet their needs.
They only left when child got older and went to school.... now they have 2 younger ones that mom is home with but will be going back to work in the Fall and they tried to find other care because I said I was full but she keeps asking me to "keep them in mind" and I will have the openings coming up this summer - I'm hoping to fill them this summer and not have to even consider taking them back but its also hard to look $400/week income in the face and turn it away not knowing if I will fill them. I know money isn't everything and they aren't horrible people - just very "high maintenance". What was their reasoning for leaving in the first place?
How many daycares has their child been enrolled in?
What is their reasoning for wanting to leave their current provider?
I'd take those factors into consideration first. If they were a PITA family, you might want to mention that you've changed a few things since they left including (whatever they did that you didn't like) and see if they are still interested.
I've had a family want to come back and I gladly would have taken them if I had the room. Since they had left, they had another baby and the kids weren't that far apart so they were needing 2 infant spots and I couldn't meet their needs.
My backbone is pretty good, been doing this a long time - I can't say they really even break any "rules" but they are just so annoying and want every bit of your attention. Can only describe as very needy, high maintenance... thinks their kids are the first to ever experience ANYTHING. And their two little ones both have minor health issues - nothing life threatening that would keep me from taking them but I can see it being a big pain in the rear dealing with them over it!!
MarinaVanessa 11:27 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
... had to know every detail about what the kids did each day... down to how many poops were in the kids diaper! Ugh.
I had a mom like this too. Asked me the consistency, color, grain, texture, size, amount, smell ... had to know every detail about what the kids did each day... down to how many poops were in the kids diaper! Ugh.
... it's poop what else is it supposed to smell like? Sometimes I would forget some of the details so she asked me to write it down at every diaper change. I told her that I didn't spend too much time looking at the results of a dirty diaper and that it was too time consuming to write it all down so I saved all of her child's diapers in a plastic bag and gave them to her one day. She looked shocked when I told her that I had saved them so that she could see them for herself because I didn't have the time to be looking at it in detail. Didn't have a problem after that. 
saved4always 11:40 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I had a mom like this too. Asked me the consistency, color, grain, texture, size, amount, smell ... it's poop what else is it supposed to smell like? Sometimes I would forget some of the details so she asked me to write it down at every diaper change. I told her that I didn't spend too much time looking at the results of a dirty diaper and that it was too time consuming to write it all down so I saved all of her child's diapers in a plastic bag and gave them to her one day. She looked shocked when I told her that I had saved them so that she could see them for herself because I didn't have the time to be looking at it in detail. Didn't have a problem after that.
So funny!!!!! I had a mom like this too. Asked me the consistency, color, grain, texture, size, amount, smell
... it's poop what else is it supposed to smell like? Sometimes I would forget some of the details so she asked me to write it down at every diaper change. I told her that I didn't spend too much time looking at the results of a dirty diaper and that it was too time consuming to write it all down so I saved all of her child's diapers in a plastic bag and gave them to her one day. She looked shocked when I told her that I had saved them so that she could see them for herself because I didn't have the time to be looking at it in detail. Didn't have a problem after that.
cheerfuldom 11:46 AM 02-17-2012
omg Marina!!
mickey2 11:52 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
No
I don't do sequels.
No
I don't do sequels.
That is a real funny and cute way of saying it!
I do not take families back if they leave. I just had one family go who I thought were excellent. I have had them for 3 years! They left because they wanted their son to "learn" more. They removed him from my care to go to a center because it would help him if he "learned more" before going to school in September. My children play all day. That's what children should be doing at 3 1/2 years of age. I am not a teacher I am a caregiver.
Turns out they now want to come back because the boy does not like it. Cries at drop off, is crying at pickup, cries before even leaving the house now. They think it is because there are too many kids there, not enough one on one and the child is shy.
Sorry but no! I was fortunate that I filled the spot with a 9 month old little girl who has at least 3 more years with me but even if I had space I would not take them back. You leave you do not return.
sassysue 11:52 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I had a mom like this too. Asked me the consistency, color, grain, texture, size, amount, smell ... it's poop what else is it supposed to smell like? Sometimes I would forget some of the details so she asked me to write it down at every diaper change. I told her that I didn't spend too much time looking at the results of a dirty diaper and that it was too time consuming to write it all down so I saved all of her child's diapers in a plastic bag and gave them to her one day. She looked shocked when I told her that I had saved them so that she could see them for herself because I didn't have the time to be looking at it in detail. Didn't have a problem after that.
I had a mother like this too.Only she kept saying I wasn't changing him enough,he kept getting a diaper rash(every monday,hmmmm???) I told her several times,I change him every 1 1/2-2 hours or if he went poo.I saved her ALL his diapers in a garbage pail and gave them to her at the end of the week.I sat them outside and told her she could go through and count if she wanted.She never asked me again.I change your baby lady,don't blame his monday morning diaper rash on me!I had a mom like this too. Asked me the consistency, color, grain, texture, size, amount, smell
... it's poop what else is it supposed to smell like? Sometimes I would forget some of the details so she asked me to write it down at every diaper change. I told her that I didn't spend too much time looking at the results of a dirty diaper and that it was too time consuming to write it all down so I saved all of her child's diapers in a plastic bag and gave them to her one day. She looked shocked when I told her that I had saved them so that she could see them for herself because I didn't have the time to be looking at it in detail. Didn't have a problem after that.
Crazy8 11:59 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by mickey2:
That is a real funny and cute way of saying it!
I do not take families back if they leave. I just had one family go who I thought were excellent. I have had them for 3 years! They left because they wanted their son to "learn" more. They removed him from my care to go to a center because it would help him if he "learned more" before going to school in September. My children play all day. That's what children should be doing at 3 1/2 years of age. I am not a teacher I am a caregiver.
Turns out they now want to come back because the boy does not like it. Cries at drop off, is crying at pickup, cries before even leaving the house now. They think it is because there are too many kids there, not enough one on one and the child is shy.
Sorry but no! I was fortunate that I filled the spot with a 9 month old little girl who has at least 3 more years with me but even if I had space I would not take them back. You leave you do not return.
sorry I wasn't real specific in my first post - my user name was the name of my daycare and Michael was kind enough to change it for me because I ran into this "not wanting to say too much" too often. Anyway, it is for the younger siblings of the boy who left - he left on good terms to go to school - I don't fault them for that at all, EVERYONE around here goes to a year of preschool before kindergarten. He will be in Kindy in the fall so he would not come - but has 2 younger siblings now and mom is going to go back to work so they want a home daycare for them - I'd probably have them for a good 3 years or so and then they'd probably go to preschool before kindy too - I don't mind that - I actually find the almost 5's get bored here - I gear my program more towards under 4's.That is a real funny and cute way of saying it!
I do not take families back if they leave. I just had one family go who I thought were excellent. I have had them for 3 years! They left because they wanted their son to "learn" more. They removed him from my care to go to a center because it would help him if he "learned more" before going to school in September. My children play all day. That's what children should be doing at 3 1/2 years of age. I am not a teacher I am a caregiver.
Turns out they now want to come back because the boy does not like it. Cries at drop off, is crying at pickup, cries before even leaving the house now. They think it is because there are too many kids there, not enough one on one and the child is shy.
Sorry but no! I was fortunate that I filled the spot with a 9 month old little girl who has at least 3 more years with me but even if I had space I would not take them back. You leave you do not return.
momma2girls 12:15 PM 02-17-2012
SORRY< I read this wrong!!
Crazy8 12:21 PM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by momma2girls:
I have had many school agers over the yrs.
This yr. is the first yr. I don't have any school agers. It is so nice!!
I never charged enough, I always would have them for late starts, early outs, all day, school off, etc.... It was AWFUL!!!! Trying to keep Schoolagers, plus my own quiet so everyone could sleep was a disaster, time after time after time.
??????? I don't take schoolagers, this post isn't about taking schoolagers.... Its about taking a family back, not taking the child back - its the younger siblings of a child I used to watch. I have had many school agers over the yrs.
This yr. is the first yr. I don't have any school agers. It is so nice!!
I never charged enough, I always would have them for late starts, early outs, all day, school off, etc.... It was AWFUL!!!! Trying to keep Schoolagers, plus my own quiet so everyone could sleep was a disaster, time after time after time.
mickey2 12:23 PM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
sorry I wasn't real specific in my first post - my user name was the name of my daycare and Michael was kind enough to change it for me because I ran into this "not wanting to say too much" too often. Anyway, it is for the younger siblings of the boy who left - he left on good terms to go to school - I don't fault them for that at all, EVERYONE around here goes to a year of preschool before kindergarten. He will be in Kindy in the fall so he would not come - but has 2 younger siblings now and mom is going to go back to work so they want a home daycare for them - I'd probably have them for a good 3 years or so and then they'd probably go to preschool before kindy too - I don't mind that - I actually find the almost 5's get bored here - I gear my program more towards under 4's.
If this is the case Yes I would take them back if I had the space. I would not do special though this time around unless you charge more for special. Special takes more time so would cost more $$$$sorry I wasn't real specific in my first post - my user name was the name of my daycare and Michael was kind enough to change it for me because I ran into this "not wanting to say too much" too often. Anyway, it is for the younger siblings of the boy who left - he left on good terms to go to school - I don't fault them for that at all, EVERYONE around here goes to a year of preschool before kindergarten. He will be in Kindy in the fall so he would not come - but has 2 younger siblings now and mom is going to go back to work so they want a home daycare for them - I'd probably have them for a good 3 years or so and then they'd probably go to preschool before kindy too - I don't mind that - I actually find the almost 5's get bored here - I gear my program more towards under 4's.
bgmeyers 12:29 PM 02-17-2012
You might also consider how much YOU have changed. Have you gotten stricter? Do you let people walk all over you?
I would consider taking them back if you feel you can be stronger.
If mom was doing things that irritated, like staying too long at pick up or drop off, just spell it out in your policy book what you expect. Then if she overstays, even once, just remind her of what your policy is and send her out the door.
But if you don't think YOU have changed enough to deal with her, then I'd let them pass.
I would consider taking them back if you feel you can be stronger.
If mom was doing things that irritated, like staying too long at pick up or drop off, just spell it out in your policy book what you expect. Then if she overstays, even once, just remind her of what your policy is and send her out the door.
But if you don't think YOU have changed enough to deal with her, then I'd let them pass.
momma2girls 12:47 PM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by bgmeyers:
You might also consider how much YOU have changed. Have you gotten stricter? Do you let people walk all over you?
I would consider taking them back if you feel you can be stronger.
If mom was doing things that irritated, like staying too long at pick up or drop off, just spell it out in your policy book what you expect. Then if she overstays, even once, just remind her of what your policy is and send her out the door.
But if you don't think YOU have changed enough to deal with her, then I'd let them pass.
You might also consider how much YOU have changed. Have you gotten stricter? Do you let people walk all over you?
I would consider taking them back if you feel you can be stronger.
If mom was doing things that irritated, like staying too long at pick up or drop off, just spell it out in your policy book what you expect. Then if she overstays, even once, just remind her of what your policy is and send her out the door.
But if you don't think YOU have changed enough to deal with her, then I'd let them pass.
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
??????? I don't take schoolagers, this post isn't about taking schoolagers.... Its about taking a family back, not taking the child back - its the younger siblings of a child I used to watch.
SORRY, I read this wrong!??????? I don't take schoolagers, this post isn't about taking schoolagers.... Its about taking a family back, not taking the child back - its the younger siblings of a child I used to watch.