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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Can't Have "Mom" Conversations Anymore. Just Me??
spedmommy4 01:43 AM 06-06-2016
I went to my little sisters baby shower and the moms there were a little younger than me. Not much. I had kids in my early 20's and all these women were in their early to mid-30's. Most of their kids were 1-3 years old.

They were talking about potty training, "me time", their kids behavior, and how awful it is that child cares are closed on holidays. One of the moms said, "I'd have to take a sick day to get a break." I just can't join in on these conversations. I sat and bit my tongue. I can't have a normal "mom" conversation on any of these topics now that I do this job. Is it just me?
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childcaremom 02:14 AM 06-06-2016
No, it's not just you.

I hear some daycare remarks here and there and try to ignore. I understand that they don't see our perspective but it still irritates the heck out of me.

I find that once my daycare day is done, I don't want to hear anything related to work.
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Thriftylady 04:38 AM 06-06-2016
I don't know if I could have kept my mouth shut, good thing I wasn't there.
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Blackcat31 05:55 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
I can't have a normal "mom" conversation on any of these topics now that I do this job. Is it just me?
Now that I do this job, I don't WANT to have normal "mom" conversations.

The masses have definitely ruined that.

Mostly because I know the other side of their vents/bitches and mostly because I (we all) know the truth.
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Mike 06:09 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I don't know if I could have kept my mouth shut, good thing I wasn't there.
I'm with you there.
I haven't even started the business yet, but if I heard people complaining about child care in general, I'd have a hard time to not speak up.

How else will they learn?
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Blackcat31 06:22 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
I'm with you there.
I haven't even started the business yet, but if I heard people complaining about child care in general, I'd have a hard time to not speak up.

How else will they learn?
Unfortunately they rarely learn from words.

As evidenced within this forum, they learn from actions.
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spedmommy4 07:22 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Now that I do this job, I don't WANT to have normal "mom" conversations.

The masses have definitely ruined that.

Mostly because I know the other side of their vents/bitches and mostly because I (we all) know the truth.
Haha. You are right, of course. Most of the kids were at this baby shower so it was interesting to see the family dynamic outside my job. I also found it interesting that the handful of moms venting about "me time" were dealing with, hands down, the worst behaviors out of all the kids.

My sister has a few very close friends and they were talking about work life balance, feeling guilty about leaving the kids, and the activities they enjoyed doing with their kids. Those little ones were awesome during the whole event.

Could be a coincidence but . . .
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Second Home 07:31 AM 06-06-2016
I had a mom from our karate studio complaining about how her preschool/daycare makes the kids nap and it causes her kids to not go to bed at night . Well I had a bad day that day and I couldn't not say anything .I told her that state guidelines require all non school aged children to rest . It is not up to the preschool it is a state law .

I know her parenting style and know the kids and it is NOT a napping issue .
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sharlan 09:35 AM 06-06-2016
I just bite my tongue and move away. You can't change people.
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thrivingchildcarecom 09:59 AM 06-06-2016
You know what? I think you can join in these conversations. I actually think because you are a provider you have a unique opportunity to give other mom's insight from the providers perspective.

I know it might be a little complicated, but see if you can share some of the challenges us providers have, like only having holidays off and not being able to take a sick day. Or even the challenges providers have when parents aren't consistent with potty learning. Or how we rarely get "me time", even on the weekends when parents call or text.

I'm not trying to be funny here, but I think you might be in a position to really educate parents. I would love to know your thoughts.
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Ariana 10:37 AM 06-06-2016
I never ever ever bite my tongue . You may already know this about me by now! I just try to explain how things work in a business. That usually shuts them up. I am sooooo over the whole parenting talks too

So glad I am not alone in this!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:46 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by thrivingchildcarecom:
You know what? I think you can join in these conversations. I actually think because you are a provider you have a unique opportunity to give other mom's insight from the providers perspective.

I know it might be a little complicated, but see if you can share some of the challenges us providers have, like only having holidays off and not being able to take a sick day. Or even the challenges providers have when parents aren't consistent with potty learning. Or how we rarely get "me time", even on the weekends when parents call or text.

I'm not trying to be funny here, but I think you might be in a position to really educate parents. I would love to know your thoughts.
I do this. I don't think I'm bestowing great wisdom on the other Moms but if they're going to say their side then I'm going to say my side. Nicely, but just as passionately.
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Snowmom 10:55 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I never ever ever bite my tongue . You may already know this about me by now! I just try to explain how things work in a business. That usually shuts them up. I am sooooo over the whole parenting talks too

So glad I am not alone in this!
Me either. I get myself in trouble though, because I'm the 'sarcastic one liner type' Mom with no filter.

I'm not terribly popular in these situations.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:09 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Me either. I get myself in trouble though, because I'm the 'sarcastic one liner type' Mom with no filter.

I'm not terribly popular in these situations.
Oh how I wish you lived near me. I much prefer spicy moms to perfect moms.
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Blackcat31 11:13 AM 06-06-2016
If a parent asks and is genuinely interested in the answer I will "educate" them.

If not, I don't waste my breath.
I've got better things to do with my time.

I don't think it does any good as it's evidenced (by this board and all the venting threads we read every day) that parents don't really care.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:13 AM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Me either. I get myself in trouble though, because I'm the 'sarcastic one liner type' Mom with no filter.

I'm not terribly popular in these situations.
Oh how I wish you lived near me. I much prefer spicy moms to perfect moms.
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lovemydaycare0912 11:16 AM 06-06-2016
haha well I've never been in this situation before. AT least that I can recall. But I know from my experience, as BC said, parents learn from action, not words.
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Mariahsaint 12:02 PM 06-06-2016
Honestly, I couldn't stand "mom conversations" even when my own children were really young.

But that's just because I'm pretty apathetic when I know they aren't going to try out my advice.
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spedmommy4 11:42 PM 06-06-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If a parent asks and is genuinely interested in the answer I will "educate" them.

If not, I don't waste my breath.
I've got better things to do with my time.

I don't think it does any good as it's evidenced (by this board and all the venting threads we read every day) that parents don't really care.
I tend to agree. When I worked as an Early Intervention Specialist, my job was to educate parents. I learned to quickly identify which parents were going to join me in the learning process.

I take a similar approach with people I don't know. If they appear "attached" to their misguided opinion about how childcares operate, I nod, smile and move on. Alternatively, if someone was genuinely curious, I would share.
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Ariana 09:47 AM 06-07-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If a parent asks and is genuinely interested in the answer I will "educate" them.

If not, I don't waste my breath.
I've got better things to do with my time.

I don't think it does any good as it's evidenced (by this board and all the venting threads we read every day) that parents don't really care.
Very true and is mainly the reason I say what is on my mind! It makes ME feel better, even if it is going in one ear and out the other
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sleepinghart 10:06 AM 06-07-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
I'm with you there.
I haven't even started the business yet, but if I heard people complaining about child care in general, I'd have a hard time to not speak up.

How else will they learn?
~This is true. I speak up sometimes when I'm in a crowd or group of moms carrying on about child care or such & such in the hopes that there is just one there that maybe feels the same way but is too scared to say something and on the rare chance that just one may learn something.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Unfortunately they rarely learn from words.

As evidenced within this forum, they learn from actions.
~This is true too...unfortunately.
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Unregistered 02:37 PM 06-09-2016
We are childcare providers not babysitters! We teach so much to children on a whole other level than most babysitters, if they want some "me time" they need to get a babysitter or just take a day off but providers needs their holidays as much as anyone else.

And wait until their kids attends school, all schools have lots of holidays/breaks and their hours are shorter!
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laundrymom 06:48 PM 06-09-2016
I've responded with,
That's an interesting perspective. Why do you feel that way ?
And they respond with a variety of answers. It gives the opportunity to actually see how they are thinking this way. And I might not get them to change their minds, but at least I have more insight.
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