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  #1  
Old 10-28-2014, 07:10 PM
areyoulightning areyoulightning is offline
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Default 8 month old nap troubles -- are we going to get kicked out?

I am the mother of an 8-month-old boy. He has been going to daycare full-time for 5 months. Me and my husband really like our daycare provider, and so does our son.

About a month ago, our son started having trouble napping at daycare. His nighttime sleep was getting worse, too -- we went from 1 wakeup to 3. We were gone on a family vacation for a while, and returned home where his sleep worsened. Right now, we're sleep training him (Sleepeasy) and nightweaning him. He's starting to get much more sleep at night! We're on night 4 right now.

Unfortunately, his naps aren't improving. Before we started Sleepeasy, he would sometimes just cry and cry unless he was held. I had to pick him up a couple of times because he was so upset and wouldn't sleep or play. There are probably a couple of things going on, including teething, that are making this so hard.

My provider and I have been in regular contact about my son's sleeping and different methods we can try to help him. Still, I worry that we are in danger of getting kicked out of daycare because of my son's trouble napping/crying.

Can anyone give me any insight about how likely we are to be kicked out? And if you have any tips on how to nap train a cranky 8 month old, please pass them on!
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  #2  
Old 10-28-2014, 07:27 PM
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Heidi Heidi is offline
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As a provider, terming is never an easy decision.

I personally would not term a child unless I felt like the parent's weren't doing their part. Keeping open communication about what you are doing and that we're working together would mean a lot.

Ask her what you asked us.

In my state, I have the luxury of being allowed to sleep children in different rooms. If I lived somewhere where sight AND sound was required at all times, I'd be a lot less accomidating.
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  #3  
Old 10-28-2014, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by areyoulightning View Post
I am the mother of an 8-month-old boy. He has been going to daycare full-time for 5 months. Me and my husband really like our daycare provider, and so does our son.

About a month ago, our son started having trouble napping at daycare. His nighttime sleep was getting worse, too -- we went from 1 wakeup to 3. We were gone on a family vacation for a while, and returned home where his sleep worsened. Right now, we're sleep training him (Sleepeasy) and nightweaning him. He's starting to get much more sleep at night! We're on night 4 right now.

Unfortunately, his naps aren't improving. Before we started Sleepeasy, he would sometimes just cry and cry unless he was held. I had to pick him up a couple of times because he was so upset and wouldn't sleep or play. There are probably a couple of things going on, including teething, that are making this so hard.

My provider and I have been in regular contact about my son's sleeping and different methods we can try to help him. Still, I worry that we are in danger of getting kicked out of daycare because of my son's trouble napping/crying.

Can anyone give me any insight about how likely we are to be kicked out? And if you have any tips on how to nap train a cranky 8 month old, please pass them on!
I also don't term for just any reason...

I see some important good things in your post. First, you are obviously concerned for your child's well being and happiness not only with you but also with his daycare provider. Some parents don't care in that respect.

Have you told the provider what exactly you are doing at home to help??

Have you asked the provider how they are doing naps? As in routine, what leads up to it, what times they lay him down, do they use music etc??

Have you asked the provider for suggestions that may help??

On the weekends does he nap with you ??

I can see you really care about your baby and you understand the importance of sleep on his behavior and well being. And, as a provider, just a parent being WILLING like you are, to help at home, means he WORLD to me.

Talk to you provider. Find out how THEY are doing it. Communicate openly. Explain you are trying to do your part.

If, after all that, they term you, I'd venture to say that may be a good thing.
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Old 10-29-2014, 03:58 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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This is actually pretty common at this age. Separation anxiety/stranger danger/nightmares as imagination develops. All perfectly normal and expected.

The best plan is the most obvious.

The majority of his day should be down, on the floor with toys. Independent and parallel play should be his thing. Swings, chairs, bouncers, etc. should be in his past.

When he is put to nap, it should be before he is obviously tired. The morning nap should be phased out with the full afternoon nap replacing it. The schedule and transition routine should remain consistent. Every day. If he is still awake after 20 minutes, back down to the floor he goes. Try again in 30 minutes.

No stress, no punishment, no reward (extended holding/rocking). Bed should be pleasant, not the place where he is caged and ignored (in his mind; not a judgement, his perception). Bed for sleep only. Play on the floor only. Affection has nothing to do with sleep (teaching him that refusing sleep = extra cuddles backfires even when done accidentally) No exceptions.

Good nutrition is critical. A lunch with heavy protein/light starch is also important. Starch is turned to sugar, sugar before sleep is counter intuitive. There are two snack periods and breakfast that are already starch heavy according to USDA guidelines.

A lot of words for = Good exercise, good sleep habits, good routine and good food. Like I said before.... the most obvious, but also critical.
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Old 10-29-2014, 11:27 AM
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Also obvious- you aren't holding him/rocking him to sleep at home, putting extra blankets in the crib, he is sleeping in a crib/no swing or car seat, no bottles in there, etc?

There are state licensing requirements, and I find that if parents are doing ONE thing different, that's of course the one thing that the child 'needs'. I don't take infants anymore, but when I did I had a similar issue. Mom came in to show me how she got him down for nap. Dark room, rocking for 20-30 minutes, and then she handed him a bottle and put a blanket on him.

NONE of which I could do.

I also won't term unless the parents aren't working with me- unless a child is violent.
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Old 10-29-2014, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by areyoulightning View Post
Can anyone give me any insight about how likely we are to be kicked out? And if you have any tips on how to nap train a cranky 8 month old, please pass them on!
I can't speak for your provider, but personally, when I'm in a situation like this it helps immensely to know that the parents understand that the situation is difficult for me too, that they are working with me at home to solve the problem, and that they support me.

Once a parent came in with infant Tylenol and Godiva chocolates, and said "She's cranky and teething so I brought medicine for both of you." Just something small like that makes a big difference to me. I can't say it'll help improve your provider's attitude, but knowing that you appreciate her can't hurt!
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  #7  
Old 10-29-2014, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons View Post
I also don't term for just any reason...

I see some important good things in your post. First, you are obviously concerned for your child's well being and happiness not only with you but also with his daycare provider. Some parents don't care in that respect.

Have you told the provider what exactly you are doing at home to help??

Have you asked the provider how they are doing naps? As in routine, what leads up to it, what times they lay him down, do they use music etc??

Have you asked the provider for suggestions that may help??

On the weekends does he nap with you ??

I can see you really care about your baby and you understand the importance of sleep on his behavior and well being. And, as a provider, just a parent being WILLING like you are, to help at home, means he WORLD to me.

Talk to you provider. Find out how THEY are doing it. Communicate openly. Explain you are trying to do your part.

If, after all that, they term you, I'd venture to say that may be a good thing.
She and I have been talking a lot about how he sleeps at home versus at daycare, and I have been asking her for advice. Our communication has been really great, but I didn't know if terming was something that I would get warned about or if I could get blindsided in this situation.
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  #8  
Old 10-29-2014, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
I can't speak for your provider, but personally, when I'm in a situation like this it helps immensely to know that the parents understand that the situation is difficult for me too, that they are working with me at home to solve the problem, and that they support me.

Once a parent came in with infant Tylenol and Godiva chocolates, and said "She's cranky and teething so I brought medicine for both of you." Just something small like that makes a big difference to me. I can't say it'll help improve your provider's attitude, but knowing that you appreciate her can't hurt!
I love that idea!

I definitely acknowledge that this is hard for her and the other kids at daycare, and not just me.
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  #9  
Old 10-29-2014, 07:53 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Can he pull up in the crib to a stand position?
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