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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OT a little... I'm Freaking Out
WDW 12:12 PM 06-22-2011
Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way. 
jen 12:19 PM 06-22-2011
Originally Posted by WDW:
Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way.
My husband is an only child and he turned out just fine. He has a wide circle of friends that he has held on to throughout the years. Sometimes we make our own families! Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way.
AmandasFCC 12:19 PM 06-22-2011
That's not true. My husband and I are both only chidlren but my dd has plenty of aunts and uncles - our close friends.
I have aunts and uncles, but they all live so far away that we have never been close.
Don't freak out, don't be bummed. It's really not a big deal ((((hugs))))
I have aunts and uncles, but they all live so far away that we have never been close.
Don't freak out, don't be bummed. It's really not a big deal ((((hugs))))
Country Kids 12:41 PM 06-22-2011
I also am an only child and here is what is hard for me personally. My children have many aunts/uncles/cousins on dad side (he comes from a large family) and we do large get togethers for the holidays with them. I always feel different though because I have no family to do this with, true family, not just friends. Also, my parents divorced when I was a teenager and 15 years later my mom passed away. I had no brothers or sisters to mourn with and that was very hard on me. Last year my bil passed and it was so comforting to me to see the support that my husband and his brothers gave to each other during that time.
My kids and they are older always say they think it would be neat if they had aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side. I personally advise parents against having only children because maybe as a child it isn't so bad but as I get older I find it more difficult. Just my two cents!
My kids and they are older always say they think it would be neat if they had aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side. I personally advise parents against having only children because maybe as a child it isn't so bad but as I get older I find it more difficult. Just my two cents!
youretooloud 12:47 PM 06-22-2011
Originally Posted by WDW:
Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way.
But, what if he marries someone with lots of siblings, and they have lots of kids... wouldn't those kids count as cousins?Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way.
Former Teacher 01:13 PM 06-22-2011
Originally Posted by WDW:
Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way.
This reminds me of a family I had an interview with awhile back. They were seeking care for their 3 year old on weekends. The parents were an older couple. The mother kept on asking me questions on childcare and things like..what would I do about this or that? How would I feel about this? What happens if this occurred etc.Someone just pointed out to me that when my DS (who is my only child) has children of his own, those children will have no aunts/uncles.. therefore no cousins. I knew this but I never thought it that way.
I thought odd but I blew it off as she just wanted to get to know me. Later she confessed that she had no one to confide in and all her learning experiences came from things she reads in books and online. Oooookkkkk. She said they had no friends being they move so much because of the husbands job. But the heart breaker was that both her and the father were only children and that both sets of THEIR parents were deceased. She put it bluntly...we have no one. Then she went on to say that the pregnancy she had with the boy was so bad that he was also going to be an only child. I felt sorry for her.
I didn't wind up working for her. While she was very nice, she was also WAY to picky. She wanted me to sign a paper every time she paid me (no problem) but I had to sign in and out. I would be making good money while the boy was awake but while he was sleeping the pay would decrease to minimum wage, even though she wanted me to clean her house. A bunch more of baloney.
The cincher for me was when she said she will give me a schedule of their preplanned date nights. Great! I LOVE organization. She said Saturdays were all day outings. Friday nights would be from 3:30 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. I said no I am sorry but I start my side care jobs at 4:00 since I work at my full time job until 3:00. She said: if I require you to be here at 3:30 p.m. you WILL BE here at 3:30, that is plenty of time to get here after you leave work. I argued with her a bit and then she started her sob story. I just told her my hours/schedule got changed and I had to work weekends.
Sorry for going on and on
WDW 01:45 PM 06-22-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I also am an only child and here is what is hard for me personally. My children have many aunts/uncles/cousins on dad side (he comes from a large family) and we do large get togethers for the holidays with them. I always feel different though because I have no family to do this with, true family, not just friends. Also, my parents divorced when I was a teenager and 15 years later my mom passed away. I had no brothers or sisters to mourn with and that was very hard on me. Last year my bil passed and it was so comforting to me to see the support that my husband and his brothers gave to each other during that time.
My kids and they are older always say they think it would be neat if they had aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side. I personally advise parents against having only children because maybe as a child it isn't so bad but as I get older I find it more difficult. Just my two cents!
While I appreciate your two cents, and sympathize with your situation, I am medically unable to have another child. I don't really need to be cautioned against it, it's something I am unable to do for reasons out of my control. Many people struggle with secondary infertility and while it's a different kind of pain than primary infertility, it is just as painful, and more so in different ways, because we hurt for our child. I also am an only child and here is what is hard for me personally. My children have many aunts/uncles/cousins on dad side (he comes from a large family) and we do large get togethers for the holidays with them. I always feel different though because I have no family to do this with, true family, not just friends. Also, my parents divorced when I was a teenager and 15 years later my mom passed away. I had no brothers or sisters to mourn with and that was very hard on me. Last year my bil passed and it was so comforting to me to see the support that my husband and his brothers gave to each other during that time.
My kids and they are older always say they think it would be neat if they had aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side. I personally advise parents against having only children because maybe as a child it isn't so bad but as I get older I find it more difficult. Just my two cents!
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
But, what if he marries someone with lots of siblings, and they have lots of kids... wouldn't those kids count as cousins?
Absolutely they would. And we are fostering his relationships with friends, and the cousins he has. Thanks for the positive! But, what if he marries someone with lots of siblings, and they have lots of kids... wouldn't those kids count as cousins?
rjskids 02:16 PM 06-22-2011
Do you have siblings? Do you have cousins? Cousins doesn't have to mean FIRST cousins. I grew up in a family of 5 kids but I was very late coming in the family. All my first cousins are older and were closer to my older siblings. I became very close to ones more my age that are a little bit farther down the family tree. One cousin/friend of mine is as far as my grandmother and her grandmother were cousins...but it's still family! The same goes for my kids.
My children are 9 years apart. For health reasons we were convinced that our first child was going to be an only child. I got SOOOOO tired of people telling me I/she needed another child in the family. It's beyond your control and instead of feeling sad for your child, cherish the calmer life you'll get to live
My DH and I were thrown for a loop when I got pregnant unexpectedly! We had settled with the idea so much and really started liking and enjoying only having one child. It is so much harder trying to find a sitter now! Before ANYONE was willing to take DD cause she was so easy! LOL Your child will find special people in their life...just watch
My children are 9 years apart. For health reasons we were convinced that our first child was going to be an only child. I got SOOOOO tired of people telling me I/she needed another child in the family. It's beyond your control and instead of feeling sad for your child, cherish the calmer life you'll get to live
My DH and I were thrown for a loop when I got pregnant unexpectedly! We had settled with the idea so much and really started liking and enjoying only having one child. It is so much harder trying to find a sitter now! Before ANYONE was willing to take DD cause she was so easy! LOL Your child will find special people in their life...just watch
WDW 02:27 PM 06-22-2011
Originally Posted by rjskids:
Do you have siblings? Do you have cousins? Cousins doesn't have to mean FIRST cousins. I grew up in a family of 5 kids but I was very late coming in the family. All my first cousins are older and were closer to my older siblings. I became very close to ones more my age that are a little bit farther down the family tree. One cousin/friend of mine is as far as my grandmother and her grandmother were cousins...but it's still family! The same goes for my kids.
My children are 9 years apart. For health reasons we were convinced that our first child was going to be an only child. I got SOOOOO tired of people telling me I/she needed another child in the family. It's beyond your control and instead of feeling sad for your child, cherish the calmer life you'll get to live My DH and I were thrown for a loop when I got pregnant unexpectedly! We had settled with the idea so much and really started liking and enjoying only having one child. It is so much harder trying to find a sitter now! Before ANYONE was willing to take DD cause she was so easy! LOL Your child will find special people in their life...just watch
Thank you! I needed that! I do cherish our life, and love it. I always thought I wanted two or three or more kiddos (maybe that's one reason I do childcare?) but I LOVE a lot of the benefits that come from having just one. Just worried about the future.Do you have siblings? Do you have cousins? Cousins doesn't have to mean FIRST cousins. I grew up in a family of 5 kids but I was very late coming in the family. All my first cousins are older and were closer to my older siblings. I became very close to ones more my age that are a little bit farther down the family tree. One cousin/friend of mine is as far as my grandmother and her grandmother were cousins...but it's still family! The same goes for my kids.
My children are 9 years apart. For health reasons we were convinced that our first child was going to be an only child. I got SOOOOO tired of people telling me I/she needed another child in the family. It's beyond your control and instead of feeling sad for your child, cherish the calmer life you'll get to live
My DH and I were thrown for a loop when I got pregnant unexpectedly! We had settled with the idea so much and really started liking and enjoying only having one child. It is so much harder trying to find a sitter now! Before ANYONE was willing to take DD cause she was so easy! LOL Your child will find special people in their life...just watch
Kaddidle Care 03:28 PM 06-22-2011
I was afraid someone in your family was trying to guilt you into having another child! 
If you want another, who says you can't adopt?
And if you don't it's OK too.
You know.. friends you can pick but family you can't. Sometimes I'm very glad for the friends I have. 
Oh - and BTW - my closest cousin is a 2nd cousin. I think I have that right - our mother's were cousins.
If you want another, who says you can't adopt?
And if you don't it's OK too.
You know.. friends you can pick but family you can't. Sometimes I'm very glad for the friends I have.
Oh - and BTW - my closest cousin is a 2nd cousin. I think I have that right - our mother's were cousins.
sharlan 03:48 PM 06-22-2011
I have a ton of cousins. There's 10 on one side and about 40 on the other. I've met about 1/2 of them, but couldn't identify more than 3 or 4 if you lined them up. My dh and I each have 1 niece, but weren't raised near my kids.
Relatives are great, but that doesn't necessarily mean close friendships would be there.
Relatives are great, but that doesn't necessarily mean close friendships would be there.
TBird 05:57 PM 06-22-2011
I'm an only child and My kids have tons of cousins on my side. They're all second cousins mind you but they're still around the same age. Their aunts on my side are of course my aunts. Believe me when I tell you...they don't know the difference!
Auntie 06:21 PM 06-22-2011
what about taking in a foster child? You never know you may get one that becomes like a sibling to your child.