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  #1  
Old 05-21-2013, 05:23 AM
c.w. c.w. is offline
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Default Potty Training At Daycare

So I'm one of those annoying parents that started potty training my daughter at 9 months- yes, I know I was the one being trained, but she didn't seem stressed by it and it saved me diapers. Daycare wouldn't start helping until she moved into the toddler room, which she did around 18 months. She'll be two next week and is now in underwear at home. She's doing really well at home but I've continued to send her in (cloth) diapers at daycare. Friday and yesterday (monday) she did really well using the potty there and her teacher asked me to send her in underwear today. I sent in five pairs and five changes of clothes. I'm so nervous. I just don't want the teachers to get annoyed because I'm sure she's going to have accidents, but they're the ones who asked for it. I also realized I forgot to send in shoes in socks, so I'll probably get a call. Oh well, maybe at least I'll have an excuse to get out of work early.

Not really a questions, but more of a rambling. Is this how potty training at daycare normally goes?
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:31 AM
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Not at my house... They have to be able to tell me "I have to go potty" then actually potty.... And stay dry for two weeks before they go into actual underwear at my house and that means it has to be initiated that way at home as well.

Good luck to your little one... Maybe there won't be any issues or accidents!! Think positive
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Old 05-21-2013, 05:53 AM
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yeah, she rarely initiates. I just take her at times of transitions. Her teacher yesterday told me that she does the same. I guess that's still not real potty training, and that's why I wasn't pushing it at daycare at all. Maybe she'll catch on eventually. They want to try it, so we'll see what happens. At least they have tile floors! If it goes well, they're all getting a treat on Friday!
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:05 AM
Willow Willow is offline
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Every daycare is different but I wouldn't have accepted or kept on your family if your process started at 9 months.

I believe in child led readiness. When a kiddo starts showing those signs of readiness (keeping diapers consistently dry, becoming aware and able to tell an adult they have to go, having the physical development needed to be able to seat themselves, wipe and wash hands when thryre done etc) then I'll encourage the parents to start introducing the potty at home. When they are 100% dry for two weeks at home then I'll allow them to try underwear here.

Every child offered that route here has made the transition in literally a day with little to no accidents (no joke, I can count on one hand how many all the potty trained kiddos in my care have had combined).

Accidents are not only extremely embarrassing and defeating to the child but urine and feces in common play spaces and surfaces is a major health hazard that requires in depth clean up that takes me and the space I'm left sanitizing away from the rest of the group.

Not to mention pushing a child well before they are ready has been well documented to desensitize children to the process (which actually commonly causes major delays in mastering potty training) and recent studies have shown it can cause serious physical changes to the body which can lead to health problems (with kidneys, bladder, ureters, megacolon and infection -all from immature systems withholding voiding before the a child's body should be attempting such a thing).


Not to be a debbie downer, every family needs to work with their provider to do what's best for their child as an individual of course. That's just how I require the process go here because I've seen far too many children physically and mentally harmed by parents who pushed too hard before the child was ready. Not saying it's an impossible route to take, only that it will be infinitely more difficult for everyone involved.
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:22 AM
c.w. c.w. is offline
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"Every daycare is different but I wouldn't have accepted or kept on your family if your process started at 9 months."

Can I ask why? I never asked daycare to do anything differently, I just was sitting my daughter on the potty when she woke up, before bath, before bed, etc. She was still in diapers full time. We just started the underwear last month.

I know 9 months seems early, but I just can't imagine still dealing with diapers at 3 or 4. Anyways, not to start a debate on early training- I know there are a lot of strong opinions on both sides. I was just really surprised daycare was the one to initiate underwear today and it's interesting to read what others do.
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:32 AM
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Also, I've learned that no matter what you do, you're going to end up damaging your kid. Mine is screwed because I'm potty training early, still breastfeeding, and cosleeping. My nephew is screwed because his mom formula fed, did cry-it-out, and hasn't even introduced the potty at 3yrs.

It's pretty funny, but sad at the same time...
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:32 AM
Willow Willow is offline
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I explained why I won't take or keep a family that initiates anything other than child led training......because withholding voiding before a child's body is physically capable of doing so can physically damage the body, permanently damage organs, cause repeated painful infections, and it can definitely stunt actual mastery (I may not love changing a three year olds diapers but better that than a ten year old pooping her pants everyday and having to deal with that....).

I'm not looking to debate either by any means, you just asked for opinions on what is typical, there's my process and why
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:35 AM
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oh, no, I get that. That's not what I meant. I meant, would you even know? What if a parent didn't tell you?

Also, do you have any links to those studies. I hadn't heard that before.
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Old 05-21-2013, 07:17 AM
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oh, no, I get that. That's not what I meant. I meant, would you even know? What if a parent didn't tell you?

Also, do you have any links to those studies. I hadn't heard that before.
I have a great rapport with my families, trust is super important and we all agree on that. We frequently discuss development and I make my theories and methodologies clear at interview time. I simply won't enroll a family if we aren't on the same page. They telle everything, I tell them everything, I wouldn't expect anything less if I was in their shoes and it was my child in care!

I have yet to end up with any "fibbers." Even if they tried it would be a very obvious thing to discern as far as potty training goes. If a family were to tell me their child has kept diapers dry the next two weeks and they've never stayed dry two consecutive hours here we'd be sitting down to discuss moving on first.
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Old 05-21-2013, 07:59 AM
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oh, no, I get that. That's not what I meant. I meant, would you even know? What if a parent didn't tell you?

Also, do you have any links to those studies. I hadn't heard that before.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-...b_1424826.html

http://www.babble.com/toddler/danger...raining-early/

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellnes...2#.UZuCV1L4Iog
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  #11  
Old 05-21-2013, 08:08 AM
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Originally Posted by c.w. View Post
So I'm one of those annoying parents that started potty training my daughter at 9 months- yes, I know I was the one being trained, but she didn't seem stressed by it and it saved me diapers. Daycare wouldn't start helping until she moved into the toddler room, which she did around 18 months. She'll be two next week and is now in underwear at home. She's doing really well at home but I've continued to send her in (cloth) diapers at daycare. Friday and yesterday (monday) she did really well using the potty there and her teacher asked me to send her in underwear today. I sent in five pairs and five changes of clothes. I'm so nervous. I just don't want the teachers to get annoyed because I'm sure she's going to have accidents, but they're the ones who asked for it. I also realized I forgot to send in shoes in socks, so I'll probably get a call. Oh well, maybe at least I'll have an excuse to get out of work early.

Not really a questions, but more of a rambling. Is this how potty training at daycare normally goes?

If the parents started training AND the child was 18 months, I would not let them bring their children in anything but underwear with plastics (no pull-ups were used in my care)
I doubt they will get annoyed I think they'll appreciate that your little one will be PT fully soon, and all babies have accidents, so it's normal. just include several extra pairs of undies and plastics in the diaper bag (so that if the provider needs to go on outings, and an accident occurs, the carseat or whatnot doesn't get soaked)
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:21 AM
c.w. c.w. is offline
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Thanks for the links- they're all referening the same study, but still something for me to think about. I'll admit that my goal was to have her trained by 18 months. I was really pushing for it, and it just wasn't working. I stepped back and she seems to be much more interested now. I'm still curious to see what happens at daycare today and will back off if she doesn't do well. The articles also mentioned diet- and I will pay close attention to that. We don't do any dairy (she has a sensitivity) and I'll try to make sure she has a high fiber diet. She's also still on breast milk and bf babies aren't usually constipated. Today she has fish and black beans and corn- an accident after that might make daycare change their mind about the underwear!

Thanks again, nice to exchange ideas and learn stuff, even if I might disagree!
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:07 AM
AnneCordelia AnneCordelia is offline
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In my home daycare I require parents to start training at home over a long weekend or vacation before I will start here. The child comes in pull ups and stays in pull ups until they are accident free for two whole weeks. We go at regular intervals but I also need the child to initiate pottying by telling me if they have to go in between times. So the child has to be old enough to verbalize, dextrous enough to pull up and down pants, and be dry 2 weeks before undies happen here.

I have done this with my own four children too. With nine kids in the house I cannot afford to have training children pee on carpets or furniture. My couch has never been peed on and I am proud of that. LoL.
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Old 05-21-2013, 10:23 AM
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In my home daycare I require parents to start training at home over a long weekend or vacation before I will start here. The child comes in pull ups and stays in pull ups until they are accident free for two whole weeks. We go at regular intervals but I also need the child to initiate pottying by telling me if they have to go in between times. So the child has to be old enough to verbalize, dextrous enough to pull up and down pants, and be dry 2 weeks before undies happen here.

I have done this with my own four children too. With nine kids in the house I cannot afford to have training children pee on carpets or furniture. My couch has never been peed on and I am proud of that. LoL.
Ha! I wish I could say that. I have two dogs plus the kid- the couch and area rug have certainly seen better days.
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Old 05-21-2013, 10:28 AM
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I've got four dogs, two cats, two kids and currently 7 daycare kids enrolled M-F.....no one is allowed to eat anywhere but the kitchen or use the restroom anywhere other than the designated places they're supposed to.....my furniture and carpets are immaculate, enforced rules are all it takes lol
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Old 05-21-2013, 10:30 AM
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Not at my house... They have to be able to tell me "I have to go potty" then actually potty.... And stay dry for two weeks before they go into actual underwear at my house and that means it has to be initiated that way at home as well.

Good luck to your little one... Maybe there won't be any issues or accidents!! Think positive
It's the same here. The last child who transitioned to underwear here was 3.5. I have an almost 3-year-old child who hasn't even begun potty training at home so I know it will be awhile.
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Old 05-21-2013, 11:19 AM
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About half the kids in my care train at 2 years old, the other half right after 3 years. I have two special needs kids and one is trained now at almost 4 and the other is getting close to finished, also almost 4. I have had one child train before 2 years old, my own oldest daughter. No daycare kids in 6 years have trained before 2 years old. I really dont care what the parents are doing at home and would never confront them about anything UNLESS it is causing an issue at daycare. I would have no problem what the OP is doing with his daughter at home. It sounds like she is making progress and also that his expectations are healthy. I dont see what he is doing as "potty training" necessarily but there are plenty of ways to go about approaching potty learning. As long as a child is not being stressed or pressured then I dont think that there is only way to to approach things. I am beyond happy to see a parent being proactive, listening to their child, and being respectful of the daycares policies.
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Old 05-21-2013, 11:35 AM
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I've got four dogs, two cats, two kids and currently 7 daycare kids enrolled M-F.....no one is allowed to eat anywhere but the kitchen or use the restroom anywhere other than the designated places they're supposed to.....my furniture and carpets are immaculate, enforced rules are all it takes lol
Amen sista!! I have two dogs, 3 adult cats, 2 four month old kittens, 8 three week old kittens that all have Homes except the two male no tails we are keeping.... And a pet rat....
And three full time day kids.... 5 kids of my own ranging from almost five years to 19 years old...and 1 full time afternoon kid... And two drop in afternoon overnight kids...
My furniture, floors, etc are immaculate as well.... Of course we have no carpet... It's all wood laminate floors we put throughout when we bought this house last year.... The furniture was new to us but not new.

Lol the kids are allowed on the furniture and so are the pets but the material they are made of wipe off perfectly...
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Old 05-21-2013, 11:36 AM
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"About half the kids in my care train at 2 years old, the other half right after 3 years."


My little one will be 2 next Wed, so maybe it's not too early ??
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Old 05-21-2013, 11:41 AM
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My couch has never been peed on and I am proud of that. LoL.
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my furniture and carpets are immaculate, enforced rules are all it takes lol

I don't have a couch or any furniture....
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Old 05-21-2013, 12:40 PM
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My little one will be 2 next Wed, so maybe it's not too early ??
My average age, over past two years (8 children trained) is 31 months. No one sooner than 29 months. I do think children have the ability to train right at 2, but IME that tends to happen with children who have SAHMs.

I practice pretty independent potty training. I expect the children to initiate their without a reminder from me, so they tend to be a little older - but they also train completely very quickly. I ask that parents work on potty training at home only, until a child is ready to fully train.

Have you done any of the 2/3 day potty training methods ? If your daughter is ready, those really really do the trick. They Have worked for most of my DC kids.
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Old 05-21-2013, 02:36 PM
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At pickup she was in the same clothes as drop off, so I guess she did pretty well. Of course, according to that study she'll probably develop chronic constipation and utis. I'm proud of her, and thanked the teachers for convincing me to try her in underwear.
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Old 05-22-2013, 08:08 PM
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"About half the kids in my care train at 2 years old, the other half right after 3 years."


My little one will be 2 next Wed, so maybe it's not too early ??
No, I dont think its too early, especially if she is cooperating already. I start with a child when they can follow basic directions, handle pulling pants up and down on their own, wipe on their own, wash hands, and when they can verbally express the need to go. The daycare thinks she is okay to work on it there so that is a good sign too!
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Old 05-22-2013, 08:10 PM
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At pickup she was in the same clothes as drop off, so I guess she did pretty well. Of course, according to that study she'll probably develop chronic constipation and utis. I'm proud of her, and thanked the teachers for convincing me to try her in underwear.
thats great! not every child is the same so dont worry so much about articles, books and experts say. you listen and observe your child and see what SHE is ready to do. I think thats the best way to handle things.
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Old 05-22-2013, 09:52 PM
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I have all tile, and if she were young, i'd use a potty chair. So, while I wouldn't have helped you until about now, I am one of those who believes a child can do this by age two. It's not even hard unless you wait too long.

However, I CAN tell if a child will be able to do it or not. I have a guy who will be three in September, and he will not likely be potty training any time soon. He's nowhere near "getting" it.

But, I can have other kids do most of the potty training for me. Seriously, I put the four year olds on it, and they get the child potty trained in a day or two. Every time one of them has to go, they invite the newbie, so we all go in there and make a party of it...it's somehow fun for them.

Personally, I think kids in cloth diapers train earlier than kids in the sposies anyway.

And, I hate the term potty learning. LOL So, I was all excited when you said "cloth diapers" and "Potty training" in the same post.
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Old 05-23-2013, 03:49 AM
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I have hardwoods. Immaculate also.

If the daycare requested the underwear, I am assuming your dd is showing signs of readiness there as well and staying dry for long stretches.

I have a potty schedule, we go at 8:30/10:30/12:30/2:30/4:30. It takes a few weeks, but 99% of the time, all toileting happens then. So even if kids aren't requesting to go, they are ASKED at those times and most often go. Most of the kids in my care are potty trained at 2. Some boys are later, close to 3. I have one child enrolled right now that was potty trained at 18m at home and came to me before 2, fully trained (he has the least accidents of everyone, I believe simply because he has had more practice)

Cloth diapered children potty train faster, my own kids wore cloth and were trained by 2 (except ds who has autism, he was fully trained at 3.5- AFTER they told me he couldn't BE potty trained)

This new trend of keeping kids in pullups for a year, or diapers to 3.5 is GROSS, imo. I do NOT want to change a diaper that looks and smells like it came out of a fully grown adult while the child is speaking in full sentences to me. At that point, pottying needs to be a private matter.

Good luck to your little one, it sounds like she had a successful day! Does your daycare do any take home reports so you could see her progress?
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Old 05-23-2013, 05:20 AM
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yeah, daycare gives me a daily report with the times she went. They are super excited for her, it's great. Yesterday she was with Grandma, and I wasn't expecting her to do too well, but she only had one accident, and that was in the car. Last night we were out to dinner and she asked to go potty 3 times and actually went once- she has a really odd obsession with public toilets. Even before we were actively training, she wanted to see all the public restrooms and flush the toilet.

I was packing away her cloth diapers last night and this morning there was a letter in her cubby notifying me that she's moving up a class in June. It made me a little sad- my baby is growing up!

We're going to Jamaica in three weeks. I think we'll manage at the resort, but I'm worried about the airplane. Any advice?
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Old 05-23-2013, 11:57 AM
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let her wear her undies on the plane and stick a pull up over them just in case. then take her before you board and during the flight if possible before she says she has to go. not much room on a plane for 2 in rest room.
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Old 07-31-2013, 05:41 AM
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Jamaica was a disaster as far as potty training goes. I don't know what I was thinking. She was great in the airport and on the plane (and side note- traveling with a toddler was so much easier with a carrier and a carseat. My sister in law did neither and had a much harder time!). I think it was the change in diet and all the pool water she was drinking- she seemed to remember what to do the last day but the rest of the week was tough. I'm thankful that they had washing machines at the resort!

Overall we've had a few hiccups, but she's doing well. I'm so glad I trained her early. She's really proud of herself- just this weekend out of the blue she told our bank teller that she was a big girl because she uses the potty. Her daycare teachers deserve a ton of the credit because they really pushed me to put her in underwear. I'm also happy I was able to get some money back selling her diapers.
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:11 AM
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Jamaica was a disaster as far as potty training goes. I don't know what I was thinking. She was great in the airport and on the plane (and side note- traveling with a toddler was so much easier with a carrier and a carseat. My sister in law did neither and had a much harder time!). I think it was the change in diet and all the pool water she was drinking- she seemed to remember what to do the last day but the rest of the week was tough. I'm thankful that they had washing machines at the resort!

Overall we've had a few hiccups, but she's doing well. I'm so glad I trained her early. She's really proud of herself- just this weekend out of the blue she told our bank teller that she was a big girl because she uses the potty. Her daycare teachers deserve a ton of the credit because they really pushed me to put her in underwear. I'm also happy I was able to get some money back selling her diapers.
Thanks for the update! I always love hearing a great update.

I think the traveling was tough....it probably is for any kid under 5 so it sounds like your DD did as well as any toddler/preschooler would have.

I think the hiccups are a normal part of any early childhood....

Glad to hear your DD is so proud of being a big girl! Understanding that concept is a huge boost in the process!
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Old 08-01-2013, 04:53 AM
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Jamaica was a disaster as far as potty training goes. I don't know what I was thinking. She was great in the airport and on the plane (and side note- traveling with a toddler was so much easier with a carrier and a carseat. My sister in law did neither and had a much harder time!). I think it was the change in diet and all the pool water she was drinking- she seemed to remember what to do the last day but the rest of the week was tough. I'm thankful that they had washing machines at the resort!

Overall we've had a few hiccups, but she's doing well. I'm so glad I trained her early. She's really proud of herself- just this weekend out of the blue she told our bank teller that she was a big girl because she uses the potty. Her daycare teachers deserve a ton of the credit because they really pushed me to put her in underwear. I'm also happy I was able to get some money back selling her diapers.
That is wonderful she is doing well! Traveling is always tough when it comes to the potty. We went to Walt Disney World when my younger daughter was four. She was so afraid of the automatic flush toilets at the parks that she would try to hold it all day...without much success...The airplane bathroom was also the same - it was just so LOUD that she was intimidated. And wound up peeing all over the airplane seat (the attendants were so happy about that) Keep in mind the one of the main reasons we had waited to go to WDW was because we wanted both kids *well* out of the diaper/accident stage Anyway congrats!!
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Old 08-01-2013, 05:46 AM
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My policy is the child has to be accident free for a week before sending in underwear. But I do work actively with the kids who are training. I'm working with 2 girls right now, one is my dd. Both are 2.5 and we have a sticker chart system. Fill up all 10 flowers with stickers and they get to pick a prize from the prize box. DD has already on her 5th chart in only 3 weeks (shes also at daddy's house 2 nights a week.) I don't see why people won't help train or complain about it. Its part of teaching. That's the stage they are at and if the child isnt stressed by it I dont see why someone would refuse to try. Although, I guess I don't have time to stand over the potty with a 9 month old for 15-20 minutes at a time. After 2 I'm willing to work with them.
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:57 AM
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My twins turn three in a few days and still aren't potty trained. Any suggestions welcome.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:41 AM
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no advice, I think we're lucky. My nephew will be three in two weeks and he shows no interest. My little one is the only one now in her class trained. We just started sitting her on the potty at times of transition as soon as she could sit unassisted. We cloth diapered so I think that helped. Right before her 2nd birthday at home we got rid of diapers and put underwear on her, and then at the teacher's suggestion did the same thing at daycare. She got it after a few accidents. She's even staying dry at night and at naps. Of course I can't get her to sleep in her own bed to save my life, and I'd wipe her butt until she was a teenager if it meant a night without her feet in my face. Kids are weird.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by dave4him View Post
My twins turn three in a few days and still aren't potty trained. Any suggestions welcome.
I did one m & m for pee, 2 for poop. Worked like a charm for the girl twin age 2. The boy twin, he was pee trained at 2, but has a disease to which he took a LONG time PT'ing for poop (was 3 before poop trained). He still has trouble feeling it. He didn't have accidents; in fact he just didn't GO potty at all due to inability to feel the urge. We had to stick him on potty after lunch/dinner every day and pray he'd go. He's on medications for life for his condition and we STILL have to watch at his age of 6yo.
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  #36  
Old 08-01-2013, 07:43 PM
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My policy is the child has to be accident free for a week before sending in underwear. But I do work actively with the kids who are training. I'm working with 2 girls right now, one is my dd. Both are 2.5 and we have a sticker chart system. Fill up all 10 flowers with stickers and they get to pick a prize from the prize box. DD has already on her 5th chart in only 3 weeks (shes also at daddy's house 2 nights a week.) I don't see why people won't help train or complain about it. Its part of teaching. That's the stage they are at and if the child isnt stressed by it I dont see why someone would refuse to try. Although, I guess I don't have time to stand over the potty with a 9 month old for 15-20 minutes at a time. After 2 I'm willing to work with them.
I am very hesitant to work with children on potty training. To me, the "pre-potty training" months where the child isn't fully ready are to be handled at home. Then once the child is totally ready, I will work with them at daycare. But I am hesitant to say I work with them, because to me, when they are fully ready it really doesn't require much work. We use the 3 day methods, where children go straight to underwear, and then I will continue that process during the week, and usually that does the trick. So I do work a little, but not over any long span of time.

I guess after seeing so many kids who will use the toilet a fraction of the time for months, I don't see the point of exhausting so much energy before they are ready. To me, my part in the toilet training process should be very small. So I guess, I don't so much refuse to work with them, as I don't feel that once they are ready, it shouldn't require that much working with them. I want parents to get them to that point at home. But I could see how for you, who has a DD who is PT age - it wouldn't be such a big deal because you are already doing what I ask parents do at home, during the daycare day with her, because she is with her parent. Hope that makes sense ?!?
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Old 08-01-2013, 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Brooksie View Post
My policy is the child has to be accident free for a week before sending in underwear. But I do work actively with the kids who are training. I'm working with 2 girls right now, one is my dd. Both are 2.5 and we have a sticker chart system. Fill up all 10 flowers with stickers and they get to pick a prize from the prize box. DD has already on her 5th chart in only 3 weeks (shes also at daddy's house 2 nights a week.) I don't see why people won't help train or complain about it. Its part of teaching. That's the stage they are at and if the child isnt stressed by it I dont see why someone would refuse to try. Although, I guess I don't have time to stand over the potty with a 9 month old for 15-20 minutes at a time. After 2 I'm willing to work with them.
Mine have to be accident free for two weeks at home before underwear here and they have to wear plastic pants over them once they come in underwear. That is for sanitary reasons.

For time constraint reasons, I can not "assist" any child in becoming potty trained. That would divert my attention away from 7 other preschool-aged children (and about to be my newborn) with great frequency and that simply isn't practical or safe. I can tell them to go potty during our pottying schedule, but I cannot be in there with them helping them out or having them go eleventy bajillion times per day. I am not Mommy. I do not try to replace Mommy. I would never expect someone else, a daycare worker or teacher, to potty train my child or actively take part in that process.
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Old 08-05-2013, 05:25 PM
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deleted replied in wrong thread.
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Old 08-13-2013, 12:05 AM
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If she's done well so so long, there's no reason why they should be any accident. Don't worry. And as you said they asked it so they will manage.
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Old 08-13-2013, 09:32 AM
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Funny that this post popped up here today for me. I just had my twin boys (2 1/2) pee in the potty. They asked after lunch and went. Mom has been working with them at home for a couple of months now. I am thinking it is time to ditch the diapers! Yay! I could have 2 more out of diapers!
Oh and how I potty train- it varies on the child. Some I have looked at and said no more diapers and that was it. Others I have done pull ups. Others I wait for mom to do it
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