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Old 08-03-2018, 03:49 PM
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Default Judging Families

I wanted to say this in another thread, but didn't know if it was off topic. The question is when can we as providers say we know a family. Also, do you consider this judgmental?
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Old 08-03-2018, 03:54 PM
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I wanted to say this in another thread, but didn't know if it was off topic. The question is when can we as providers say we know a family. Also, do you consider this judgmental?
I think we all judge people immediately upon our first interactions with them.

I think we also form additional judgments as we get to know them better.

I think all of that is normal and part of being a human being.

Judgment becomes negative when we treat someone differently because of it or when we "share" our judgments with others for no other purpose other than gossiping or to be hurtful.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:53 AM
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I'm not sure we can ever really say we 100% know a family. We think we do, and we can only know as much as they tell us, which of course isn't always based on truth. I have a dcm who tells me much more than I want to know but I've begun to wonder if she's just being attention seeking or what. Then I have a couple dcps that I form an opinion about but is that being judgemental? We can get a general idea of what they're like and hope for the best.
I'm slowly learning to keep my mouth closed, not ask too many questions and simply discuss their child/ren. And sometimes that's hard due to little or no other adult interaction in my life.

Another thought I have is I grew up in a very judgemental home and I believe that's one of the reasons why I am such a quiet person and shy away from the public. I always keep to myself. I try to accept people as they are, realize life isn't black and white like I grew up to believe. But I can still be judgemental sometimes. I believe it's an unattractive trait most of us have from time to time.
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Old 08-04-2018, 10:32 AM
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I would say you know roughly 25% of what is actually happening behind closed doors because you see evidence of it. You can assume and surmise but you can never know the truth of anyone.
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:41 AM
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Default Why is it wrong to judge?

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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I wanted to say this in another thread, but didn't know if it was off topic. The question is when can we as providers say we know a family. Also, do you consider this judgmental?
If someone is consistently late with payments or bounces checks I’m going to judge them to be unreliable financially. As a business owner this is fair and appropriate. I won’t put posters in in the neighborhood but I’d let the family go.

If a parent is disrespecting me, my home or other children I would judge them to be disrespectful and let them go because that’s what’s best for me and my business.

If a parent was consistently later picking up and did not respond to my calls or messages I would judge them to be irresponsible and let them go.

If a child comes to me in various states of neglect I would have to consider what I see and possibly report the situation.

If a child seems to be struggling in some way I would have to bring this up to the parents in order to get the child help.


We don’t go through life with blinders on so I wouldn’t be afraid of being judgemental. Ultimately you need to look out for yourself and use your “judgement”
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:00 AM
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You say judgement.

I say risk management.
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:03 AM
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You say judgement.

I say risk management.
haha I like that.
I can tell you from experience always go with your "judgement" and experience. If you know something isn't right trust that gut. Don't worry about being the "good guy".
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