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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need advice, possible child abuse!
Unregistered 05:50 PM 04-22-2009
I work with a girl who is our 2 year old teacher, she has a son that is 4 who is enrolled in the daycare. I really think he is verbally abused. She will tell him he is bad, tell him to shut up, pinch him, grab his arm hard, and talks horribly to him. She does this in front of me, other teacher and other kids! I have documented everything I have heard. This kid has major behavior problems. I feel so bad for him. Should I report this? Am I required to report this?
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Former Teacher 08:26 PM 04-22-2009
At least in Texas you are. You are supposed to go to the Director (or Assistant Director if your center has one) and have the Director take care of it. This is indeed child abuse. In Texas a parent isn't even allowed to spank their own child behind a closed door in a childcare center more or less in front of full view.
If you don't get the answers you are seeking, I suggest you go to your state licencing. Just do not give your name. Or if you do, give a false name. Speaking of personal experience, I know that they say that reports are anonymous. They are not. Every single time our center was reported, our representative told our director each time who it was that called. Of course we knew our rep for over 10 years but still.
If you are afraid, think of it this way. YOU are that child's voice. If this so called mother is like that in public, makes you wonder how she is in private. Good luck.
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GretasLittleFriends 10:30 PM 04-22-2009
I know in Minnesota, as a child care provider we are required to report child abuse. I'd assume that verbal abuse would fall under that category.

Is there another co-worker you can confide in and get their opinion? You say you have documented everything you have heard, could you talk to the other teacher/s that have heard her too and get their opinion?

As a mother of a four-year old boy I can understand frustration with the little guy CONSTANTLY testing his limits, and pushing her buttons just to push her buttons. I'm going through this right now with my son. When he acts out I do tell him he's naughty (because it's minutely possible he doesn't realize what he's doing is naughty). I have also grabbed a hold of my son to hold him so he can look me in the eye when he's trying to run away from me scolding him or escape time out. I think her pinching, saying "shut-up", and talking horribly to him sound very harsh.

Without being in your shoes and knowing her or the specifics it's hard to give a judgment call, but I'd hate to see you report her and have her go through horrendous investigations and repercussions if they conclude in the end she was only a frustrated parent. Of course, at the same time if the child is in danger you need to do what is right and in his best interest.
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mac60 04:19 AM 04-23-2009
I agree with above. Before you jump and report, you need to talk to others who have witnessed this. If someone else has witnessed this, then I think the best thing to do would be to have both of you sit down and talk with this mom and tell her your observations. Maybe her son is so frustrating she doesn't even realize it, who knows. But before you go and report, I think you should talk to her,,,,,since she is a co worker, and since it could possibly just be a difference in parenting ideas too. While you may think it is wrong to tell a child to shut up.....sometimes that is what what they need to get their attention. Doesn't make it right, just a difference in what one thinks is ok to handle a situation.
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Tags:child advocate, mandated reporter, parenting styles, providers own child
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