Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Honestly Parents Drive Me Nuts
lovemykidstoo 06:00 AM 05-22-2019
I beg of the parents of this generation. Tell your child no just once in awhile. I have 1 mom in particular. I mean they're all bad, but this one in particular constantly tells me how he won't lay still for diaper changes, won't keep his clothes on, won't put his shoes or coat on etc. I have none of those problems with him, none! She comes in today with a pair of shoes on him and another pair in her hand (ones I dislike). I think great a new pair!! Oh no, she takes the ones off his feet and says she's taking those home, those are his new dress shoes. They're little tennis shoes with velcro. I said why did you put them on him then? Oh it was easier than the fit he was throwing because he wanted to wear them. Then she tells me how he's sleeping with all of his books now because it's "easier" than fighting with him. He's 22 months old. I said ya better get a handle on it because when he's 3, you're going to be in big trouble. Every single thing he wants to do, he does it because he squaks at her and she just give it to him. He's typically an angel here, but yesterday he grabbed another little girl by the shirt and pushed her out of the playhouse. He got in huge trouble with me for that. This is what happens when you don't discipline your kid! How to get through to these people that just because they cry, you cannot give in to them!
Reply
lovemykidstoo 06:12 AM 05-22-2019
And I just had to get after him because he knocked down a big tower one of my dcg's was building with magna tiles. 15 minute hysteria. OMG someone told me no!
Reply
Blackcat31 07:25 AM 05-22-2019
I am astounded at how many parents are outright terrified of their child. These little people clearly run the show when with parents.

It's definitely not all parents but a good portion of them for sure.

And oddly, it's not really the types I figured would be that way. Teachers, parents in the medical field, social workers or those in counseling or therapy fields....

One would think those parents would know better.

Some of the 'best' parents I have came from or are in family situations that were/are less than ideal.
Reply
lovemykidstoo 07:30 AM 05-22-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I am astounded at how many parents are outright terrified of their child. These little people clearly run the show when with parents.

It's definitely not all parents but a good portion of them for sure.

And oddly, it's not really the types I figured would be that way. Teachers, parents in the medical field, social workers or those in counseling or therapy fields....

One would think those parents would know better.

Some of the 'best' parents I have came from or are in family situations that were/are less than ideal.
I agree, isn't that something? Makes you wonder the psychology of it.

I just had my 3 1/2 yr old dcg carried in (again) by mom. She constantly has to have something with her that I promptly give back to mom. Today it was 2 jelly beans. I was pissed. She had them clenched in her hand. I said what do you have? Mom kinda chuckles and says 2 jelly beans. In a not so nice voice, I said you need to get rid of those, those cannot come in here. The baby will get them and choke. She stuck them in her mouth and ate them. I mean stop treating her like a baby. Carrying her in, letting her have whatever she wants to bring in with no regard to the safety of other kids. She only comes one a week and is done in 2 weeks, thankfully.
Reply
CountryRoads 07:31 AM 05-22-2019
I definitely know what you're talking about! I hear the "he/she wouldn't let me..." a lot.

A couple weeks ago, dcb was throwing a tantrum and was hitting his mom in the face and pulling her hair. She literally just laughed and did nothing.

I was speechless. I know it can be awkward to discipline your child in front of somebody, but come on.
Reply
lovemykidstoo 07:38 AM 05-22-2019
Originally Posted by CountryRoads:
I definitely know what you're talking about! I hear the "he/she wouldn't let me..." a lot.

A couple weeks ago, dcb was throwing a tantrum and was hitting his mom in the face and pulling her hair. She literally just laughed and did nothing.

I was speechless. I know it can be awkward to discipline your child in front of somebody, but come on.
I think if the kid is doing that, they're not disciplining them anywhere. I've had kids do that and I tell them, it's not nice to hit your mom. Not in my house.
Reply
Mike 08:08 AM 05-22-2019
What many of those parents don't seem to realise, is that in the end, children actually do want to be disciplined. As they grow up, they realise that shows that the parents loved them and cared about them.
Reply
MyAngels 08:10 AM 05-22-2019
I have one right now who takes the phrase "You have to choose your battles" to the extreme. As in "I choose no battles at all." It's ridiculous.
Reply
lovemykidstoo 08:13 AM 05-22-2019
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
I have one right now who takes the phrase "You have to choose your battles" to the extreme. As in "I choose no battles at all." It's ridiculous.
Oh my gosh that is a big one for me. I have a family member that I heard this constantly when our kids were growing up. Pick your battles pick your battles. Well, her one child is repeating a grade in high school and the other finished high school but works for a bit over minimum wage and smokes pot like it's going out of style. Yup, how did that work out for her
Reply
Valerie928 08:56 AM 05-22-2019
I have parents right now that have just one kid, 18 months. She is here full time unnecessarily. These parents don't want anything to do with parenting(both 40's). With them, it's all about who can get away or out of the house without their kid. They don't have a clue how to parent either. They let the kid do whatever she wants and at 18 months old she knows how to misbehave and get herway. She does not misbehave here. I keep her in line and she genuinely loves it here. This is just me venting but if these parents did not want the responsibility of parenting then why did they have a child? I feel bad for this kid and I completely resent her parents.
Reply
Indoorvoice 10:13 AM 05-22-2019
None of my parents can handle being told no so I absolutely understand why they can't with their kids. Many in this generation of parents weren't raised with no in their vocabulary either. Had one today who literally pouted then fought with me when I told her dcb couldn't come back tomorrow after having a 101 fever from... You guessed it...teething. Worse than a toddler.
Reply
Blackcat31 10:17 AM 05-22-2019
Originally Posted by Mike:
What many of those parents don't seem to realise, is that in the end, children actually do want to be disciplined. As they grow up, they realise that shows that the parents loved them and cared about them.
YES!!!! First thing we learned in ECE 101 was that having boundaries and rules helps a child feel secure and safe because they are able to predict what happens next.

Every time a parent says to me "Wow, they are so good for you" or some comment in reference to how well behaved the kids are for me...I always respond with "Yes they are and it's because I am not afraid to set boundaries and use the word no."
Reply
Ariana 10:23 AM 05-22-2019
Parenting classes should be mandatory, especially behaviour management. You can discipline your child, be assertive and still have a loving, mutually respectful relationship.
Reply
Baby Beluga 10:27 AM 05-22-2019
Originally Posted by Mike:
What many of those parents don't seem to realise, is that in the end, children actually do want to be disciplined. As they grow up, they realise that shows that the parents loved them and cared about them.
This is so true!

I have one child who takes the energy of more than all of my kids put together. IE - he is disciplined every minute he is here. But he is also the one child who consistently hugs and tells me "I love you."
Reply
Mom2Two 02:21 PM 05-22-2019
So true! When the kids know that there’s a trusted adult in charge they can feel safe, because there’s a good person who knows about stuff telling them what is okay for them and what is not.

Without a doubt, being firm with kids about the stuff that really matters IMPROVES my relationship with them, not hurts it.
Reply
MamaG2903 03:29 PM 05-22-2019
YEP. This IS my generation and I'm just astounded at the fear of TODDLERS and shear laziness. A DCM I just terminated is older than me and every day it was "well Paige wouldn't let me put on her shoes/do her hair/leave the house so I would be ontime on the day you're opening 15 minutes early just for me🙄". The best part is, this woman is a high school teacher!! I don't understand the fear of disciplining children, I really don't.
Reply
Ariana 03:35 PM 05-22-2019
You all gotta watch this

https://www.facebook.com/gerrybrooks...0844123668220/
Reply
springv 05:51 PM 05-22-2019
We have a little boy who is sweet as pie sometimes but his mom NEVER makes him mind at all. One night in particular she dame in to get him and he heads out the door and never stops.
Reply
Josiegirl 03:20 AM 05-23-2019
Ugh my almost 2 yo dcb consistently tries to mow down the dcks when playing with trucks or strollers or anything he can push. Yesterday when dcm came to pick him up he had the stroller and repeatedly smashed it into her feet. I just wanted to grab it away from him and I really should have but feel when the parents are here, it's their job to discipline. After about 10x she said something so gently and he just gave her a smile. I spend all day protecting the others from this very thing.

Just 2 more days. 2 more days.
Reply
AmyKidsCo 02:42 PM 05-23-2019
YES!!!

I need an article: When you give in because your kid keeps asking you're teaching him that "no" really means "keep asking enough times and I'll give in."
Reply
e.j. 04:20 PM 05-23-2019
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I just wanted to grab it away from him and I really should have but feel when the parents are here, it's their job to discipline.
I feel the same way but I know there are parents who will never step up to actually do it. In my handbook, I let parents know that when they're at my house, I expect them to discipline their child if the child is misbehaving but if they don't, they'd better be prepared to back me up when I have to do it for them.
Reply
sharlan 06:13 PM 05-23-2019
Yep, one reason I'm out of this business.
Reply
Josiegirl 03:16 AM 05-24-2019
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Yep, one reason I'm out of this business.
I hope the stress has lifted for you and you're enjoying your days as much as possible!
Reply
trix23 05:33 PM 06-04-2019
I think it's cause they partially don't know what to say and partially they want to be their child's friend and not have to tell them no. They ask versus make statements. Only reason I'm good at what I do is because I've read a TON of books on this and am good at what I do.
Reply
TwinMama 06:04 PM 06-04-2019
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I beg of the parents of this generation. Tell your child no just once in awhile. I have 1 mom in particular. I mean they're all bad, but this one in particular constantly tells me how he won't lay still for diaper changes, won't keep his clothes on, won't put his shoes or coat on etc. I have none of those problems with him, none! She comes in today with a pair of shoes on him and another pair in her hand (ones I dislike). I think great a new pair!! Oh no, she takes the ones off his feet and says she's taking those home, those are his new dress shoes. They're little tennis shoes with velcro. I said why did you put them on him then? Oh it was easier than the fit he was throwing because he wanted to wear them. Then she tells me how he's sleeping with all of his books now because it's "easier" than fighting with him. He's 22 months old. I said ya better get a handle on it because when he's 3, you're going to be in big trouble. Every single thing he wants to do, he does it because he squaks at her and she just give it to him. He's typically an angel here, but yesterday he grabbed another little girl by the shirt and pushed her out of the playhouse. He got in huge trouble with me for that. This is what happens when you don't discipline your kid! How to get through to these people that just because they cry, you cannot give in to them!
I have parents like this. They reason with them instead of just say no. They've also done the two pairs of shoes and the "he wouldn't put his clothes on for the day so we came in jammies".

It's annoying! I went to their birthday party and when I got there they were playing gymnastics on their living room furniture. Mom thinks she's being super cool by doing that.

They tell me how the kids pitched fits and are sassy to them. They say that they remind the kids that they don't think they look like friendly people when they talk back. 🙄 I try not to laugh.
Reply
TwinMama 06:07 PM 06-04-2019
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Ugh my almost 2 yo dcb consistently tries to mow down the dcks when playing with trucks or strollers or anything he can push. Yesterday when dcm came to pick him up he had the stroller and repeatedly smashed it into her feet. I just wanted to grab it away from him and I really should have but feel when the parents are here, it's their job to discipline. After about 10x she said something so gently and he just gave her a smile. I spend all day protecting the others from this very thing.

Just 2 more days. 2 more days.
I have actually put kids on timeout while parents are standing there. They're still in my house. Parent's feel embarrassed and they usually discipline the next time so they don't have to sit there again.
Reply
TwinMama 06:09 PM 06-04-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
YES!!!! First thing we learned in ECE 101 was that having boundaries and rules helps a child feel secure and safe because they are able to predict what happens next.

Every time a parent says to me "Wow, they are so good for you" or some comment in reference to how well behaved the kids are for me...I always respond with "Yes they are and it's because I am not afraid to set boundaries and use the word no."
This is the best response!!! I hear this a lot, but I never know what to say!
Reply
lovemykidstoo 06:43 PM 06-04-2019
Originally Posted by TwinMama:
I have parents like this. They reason with them instead of just say no. They've also done the two pairs of shoes and the "he wouldn't put his clothes on for the day so we came in jammies".

It's annoying! I went to their birthday party and when I got there they were playing gymnastics on their living room furniture. Mom thinks she's being super cool by doing that.

They tell me how the kids pitched fits and are sassy to them. They say that they remind the kids that they don't think they look like friendly people when they talk back. 🙄 I try not to laugh.
The 22 month old dcb had a toy yesterday at pickup as mom picked him up He "wouldn't" give it to her after so many times her saying, go put it away johnny , go put it away johnny, give it to Miss Sheri, give it to Miss Sheri over and over. Then she said well we will remember to bring it back tomorrow. I'm like, yea NO!
Reply
Josiegirl 04:31 AM 06-05-2019
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
The 22 month old dcb had a toy yesterday at pickup as mom picked him up He "wouldn't" give it to her after so many times her saying, go put it away johnny , go put it away johnny, give it to Miss Sheri, give it to Miss Sheri over and over. Then she said well we will remember to bring it back tomorrow. I'm like, yea NO!
That happened here too, so many times.
I think all the parent guide books out there advise to pick your battles. Trouble is parents aren't picking ANY battles. They're letting their kids pick them and that isn't good for anyone.
Reply
lovemykidstoo 05:31 AM 06-05-2019
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
That happened here too, so many times.
I think all the parent guide books out there advise to pick your battles. Trouble is parents aren't picking ANY battles. They're letting their kids pick them and that isn't good for anyone.
Yea pretty much they pick no battles lol. Also, it's really not her decision to take one of "my" toys home with her because Jr doesn't want to listen to her. Why she he, she gives in every time. Not to mention the "let them pick their battles" drives me nuts. I knew someone that said that constantly about her son when he was little and now he barely graduated high school, does drugs, works a min wage job with no motive to do anything better. She sure picked her battles with him.
Reply
Rockgirl 07:01 AM 06-05-2019
Dcd brought in dcg, 4.5, and said, “She has marker on her face. She wouldn’t let me wash it off...maybe she’ll let you.” Oh, brother.
Reply
Jupadia 09:34 AM 06-05-2019
I had a Dcb who last week his mom went through a tim hortons drive through, got her kid a hashbrowns. But he did not want that one, so she went through a McDonalds drive through to get him his McDonalds hash brown. I know this kid he would have cried and she would have gone. My kid would have been told to be thankful for the one he had, and crying only makes you have less stuff.
Reply
Firefly 11:19 AM 06-05-2019
Originally Posted by Jupadia:
I had a Dcb who last week his mom went through a tim hortons drive through, got her kid a hashbrowns. But he did not want that one, so she went through a McDonalds drive through to get him his McDonalds hash brown. I know this kid he would have cried and she would have gone. My kid would have been told to be thankful for the one he had, and crying only makes you have less stuff.
Oh my
Reply
Tags:behavior management, discipline - consistency, parent- it's a verb, parenting styles
Reply Up