Daycare.com Forum
PitterPatter 07:36 AM 11-05-2011
I had an issue at the grocery store and I just wanted to get some opionions on how everyone else would handle this.
We were shopping for food and had a couple kids with us (not daycare kids). I was picking up my items when I heard a man say loudly "YO Nig*** hey hey M-Fer get your dick straight"
I gasped and turned to see this thug looking man on his cell phone right behind me. When I turned and looked at him shocked he asked what my problem was. He was right in my face alomost! I said "excuse me but there are children here." There were in fact 2 other small children coming down the isle as well as the 2 I had. He said "so what it's a free Fn country I'll say what I want yo, shiiiit". I didn't even know what to say so I decided to leave the isle and go back for my things later. As I walk away he YELLS into his phone "Just some stupid white people given me **** for saying F**K well it's a free f***n country dog!" Other people are trying to get away from him and leaving the isle.
I am so angry at this point I want to have him kicked out of the store. A friend tells me even if I told the front desk they wouldn't do anything about it but I feel they should. 1st of all it's a public place with children, you can't use profanity! 2nd I was angry about the "white people" remark as well. That is racism! If a white person said "some black people" thet would be attacked for being racist!
We get to the next isle and can still hear him in the other isle talking very loudly using the N word and the F word many times. I hate both of those words! Then he yells "BS N***** where's my dope?" What is wrong with people?? We go to the other end of the store and shop backwards to avoid him but this is not how it should be. He should be made to leave not us!
I'm just tired of the way people are today. This isn't the first time I have encountered things like this. I want to move but I guess this is everywhere now. What do you do, just ignore people and explain to the kids later not to act this way or say those words or do you take a stand in some way or make a report etc...?
We were shopping for food and had a couple kids with us (not daycare kids). I was picking up my items when I heard a man say loudly "YO Nig*** hey hey M-Fer get your dick straight"
I gasped and turned to see this thug looking man on his cell phone right behind me. When I turned and looked at him shocked he asked what my problem was. He was right in my face alomost! I said "excuse me but there are children here." There were in fact 2 other small children coming down the isle as well as the 2 I had. He said "so what it's a free Fn country I'll say what I want yo, shiiiit". I didn't even know what to say so I decided to leave the isle and go back for my things later. As I walk away he YELLS into his phone "Just some stupid white people given me **** for saying F**K well it's a free f***n country dog!" Other people are trying to get away from him and leaving the isle.I am so angry at this point I want to have him kicked out of the store. A friend tells me even if I told the front desk they wouldn't do anything about it but I feel they should. 1st of all it's a public place with children, you can't use profanity! 2nd I was angry about the "white people" remark as well. That is racism! If a white person said "some black people" thet would be attacked for being racist!
We get to the next isle and can still hear him in the other isle talking very loudly using the N word and the F word many times. I hate both of those words! Then he yells "BS N***** where's my dope?"
What is wrong with people?? We go to the other end of the store and shop backwards to avoid him but this is not how it should be. He should be made to leave not us!I'm just tired of the way people are today. This isn't the first time I have encountered things like this. I want to move but I guess this is everywhere now. What do you do, just ignore people and explain to the kids later not to act this way or say those words or do you take a stand in some way or make a report etc...?
SilverSabre25 07:48 AM 11-05-2011
I would have gone to the customer service desk and alerted them to the situation, and if they didn't do anything (such as go and politely ask the man to take his conversation outside the store), I would have demanded to speak with a manager, and then the manager higher than him, on up until SOMEone did something about it.
themoorethemerrier 07:55 AM 11-05-2011
Sad. Sorry that the kiddos and you had to witness that. 
You sound like you were polite (though shocked) when you responded back to him. At that point, I would have went to the front desk, asked for a manager, explained the situation and asked for him to be removed. That type of indecency would cause them to lose business - especially mine if I don't feel that the innocence of my children is protected. That is exposure to profanity, rude behavior and racism - none of which I want my children to learn.
You sound like you were polite (though shocked) when you responded back to him. At that point, I would have went to the front desk, asked for a manager, explained the situation and asked for him to be removed. That type of indecency would cause them to lose business - especially mine if I don't feel that the innocence of my children is protected. That is exposure to profanity, rude behavior and racism - none of which I want my children to learn.
Kaddidle Care 08:34 AM 11-05-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I would have gone to the customer service desk and alerted them to the situation, and if they didn't do anything (such as go and politely ask the man to take his conversation outside the store), I would have demanded to speak with a manager, and then the manager higher than him, on up until SOMEone did something about it.
Yes this. And if they didn't do anything about it I would leave my cart right there full of groceries and leave. I would have gone to the customer service desk and alerted them to the situation, and if they didn't do anything (such as go and politely ask the man to take his conversation outside the store), I would have demanded to speak with a manager, and then the manager higher than him, on up until SOMEone did something about it.
Yes, there is Freedom of Speech but there is such thing as disturbing the peace and creating a disturbance and that man was pretty guilty of both. What a pig.
Michael 03:29 PM 11-05-2011
Wow, what a knuckle head. In the Bronx he would have gone missing. He must live such a charmed life.
As others had posted, the store reserves the right to serve anyone and this guy deserved to be shown the door.
As others had posted, the store reserves the right to serve anyone and this guy deserved to be shown the door.
daycare 04:03 PM 11-05-2011
I dont agree with how this man behaved, but I would have just done everything in my power to avoid the person and get away from that store as fast as possible. I would have not said a word to this man.
Only if I were able to go tell a manager without him finding out that I was the one that ratted him out I would.
I grew up in a VERY bad area. Worse than here in the states.
You never know what people are going to do and the best thing to do is NOTHING.
People have been shot to death just for cutting them off on the freeway or highway.
It's horrible that someone would behave that way, but there is nothing that we can do about it....
Sorry you had to experience that...
Only if I were able to go tell a manager without him finding out that I was the one that ratted him out I would.
I grew up in a VERY bad area. Worse than here in the states.
You never know what people are going to do and the best thing to do is NOTHING.
People have been shot to death just for cutting them off on the freeway or highway.
It's horrible that someone would behave that way, but there is nothing that we can do about it....
Sorry you had to experience that...
wdmmom 06:17 PM 11-05-2011
Ridiculous! I probably wouldn't have walked away and dropped it because I'm not the type. I would have gotten louder and made it aware of how ignorant he looked. And, if he didn't stop running his mouth, I would have contacted customer service or security.
No offense here but people like that have to wonder why they are stereotyped?! They bring it on themselves!
No offense here but people like that have to wonder why they are stereotyped?! They bring it on themselves!
Unregistered 05:54 AM 11-06-2011
Knuckle head....sorry but I love this.
I don't know what I would have done either. I would have been in shock. A part of me would be worried that he was on drugs/alchohol, had weapons, and not knowing of what he would have done- esp if he could care less of how he was talking.
I guess I would have removed myself and then gone to customer service and explained to them. Let the store handle it. If they refused to do something, called 911 on my cell- but away from the guy.
So many people are on drugs for different reasons and freak flare ups are not something I want to be a part of in front of my kids. Some people just act entitled to behave this way and some are just plain ignorant. You see this is in all races.
scary and dangerous- because you just don't know
I don't know what I would have done either. I would have been in shock. A part of me would be worried that he was on drugs/alchohol, had weapons, and not knowing of what he would have done- esp if he could care less of how he was talking.
I guess I would have removed myself and then gone to customer service and explained to them. Let the store handle it. If they refused to do something, called 911 on my cell- but away from the guy.
So many people are on drugs for different reasons and freak flare ups are not something I want to be a part of in front of my kids. Some people just act entitled to behave this way and some are just plain ignorant. You see this is in all races.
scary and dangerous- because you just don't know
KEG123 11:49 AM 11-06-2011
Front desk for sure. Like was said, if they didn't do anything about it, I would have left my cart and left the store... and not returned...ever.
sharlan 11:53 AM 11-06-2011
I would handled it just the way you did. IMHO, it's best not to confront people like that.
You cannot escape ignorance, it's everywhere.
You cannot escape ignorance, it's everywhere.
Michelle 12:06 PM 11-06-2011
We just had an incident happen in a Walmart in Lakewood Ca. where a homeless man asked a 74 year old man for some money in the sports section and the man said "no" so the the homeless guy picked up a medal bat off the shelf and beat him to death. This just happened a few days ago.
So I don't say anything to anybody. I just keep to myself.
You never know what someone will do these days.
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktl...,1683724.story
So I don't say anything to anybody. I just keep to myself.
You never know what someone will do these days.
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktl...,1683724.story
squareone 12:15 PM 11-06-2011
As mad as you were, you did the right thing. You had to put the safety of yourself and the children first and that's what you did. You shopped backward to avoid the man and that was the best you could have done short of leaving the store.
You have to remember that you never know what kind of crazy person you are dealing with these days. He could have been under the influence, mentally ill, carrying a weapon, etc. You just don't know when someone will snap so make sure you are not in the wrong place at the wrong time when it happens.
Reporting him to the manager would not have made him any less of a racist or any less ignorant. Plus, it's highly unlikely that the manager would have done anything anyway.
I would have done exactly what you did if I had children with me. If I was shopping with my husband however, things might go down a little differently
You have to remember that you never know what kind of crazy person you are dealing with these days. He could have been under the influence, mentally ill, carrying a weapon, etc. You just don't know when someone will snap so make sure you are not in the wrong place at the wrong time when it happens.
Reporting him to the manager would not have made him any less of a racist or any less ignorant. Plus, it's highly unlikely that the manager would have done anything anyway.
I would have done exactly what you did if I had children with me. If I was shopping with my husband however, things might go down a little differently
PitterPatter 12:36 PM 11-06-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
We just had an incident happen in a Walmart in Lakewood Ca. where a homeless man asked a 74 year old man for some money in the sports section and the man said "no" so the the homeless guy picked up a medal bat off the shelf and beat him to death. This just happened a few days ago.
So I don't say anything to anybody. I just keep to myself.
You never know what someone will do these days.
We just had an incident happen in a Walmart in Lakewood Ca. where a homeless man asked a 74 year old man for some money in the sports section and the man said "no" so the the homeless guy picked up a medal bat off the shelf and beat him to death. This just happened a few days ago.
So I don't say anything to anybody. I just keep to myself.
You never know what someone will do these days.
See it's a shame what the world has become. I never even thought of a homeless person being capable of doing that. I always give when asked thank God! I know it's not realistic to expect America to remain like Mayberry with little Opie Taylors running around but I am amazed more and more by the way the world is changing. I guess I was born at the wrong time. The man didn't look high or anything but then again I don't have much experience with that. I wanted to give him a whole speech about how our innocent children live in this free country also and have the right to grow up as uncorrupted as possible! But I left the isle instead. I kept thinking about reporting him and I probably would have but I thought he would be waiting outside for us knowing it had to be us since I confronted him. With all the baggy clothes and huge coat hanging off his body (style I guess
) I thought he could even have a huge gun and no one would know it. I wonder what all these thug like people will think of their past IF/when they make it to the elderly years. Will Great Grandpa be walking around with that swag in his step, holding on to his walker and still showing the world his underwear, or at that point his depends? or Will he calm down and feel like an azz for behaving in such a way?
Next time I will slip quietly away and make a complaint to the manager. I just hope the manager isn't afraid to take action. Afterall he is human too.
AnneCordelia 01:01 PM 11-06-2011
IMO you have to protect yourself and your children. But I also feel an obligation to the general public.
If I found myself in that situation I would have pretended I heard nothing, not reacted to the language or to the man, and would have appeared to have 'found' what I needed in that aisle and left it. Then I would have marched straight to the customer service desk and reported him.
Not doing anything doesn't do anyone any service except to empower that man to misbehave in public again in the future. It fuels his ego and he thinks he's invincible. Who will be there next time he speaks out inappropriately and gets his anger? Will it be a sweet grandmother? A child? He needs to be checked.
If I found myself in that situation I would have pretended I heard nothing, not reacted to the language or to the man, and would have appeared to have 'found' what I needed in that aisle and left it. Then I would have marched straight to the customer service desk and reported him.
Not doing anything doesn't do anyone any service except to empower that man to misbehave in public again in the future. It fuels his ego and he thinks he's invincible. Who will be there next time he speaks out inappropriately and gets his anger? Will it be a sweet grandmother? A child? He needs to be checked.
Mandy_Jane 01:48 PM 11-06-2011
I would have gone straight to a manager, and if they didn't do anything about the situation I would have been on the phone with the police. I DO NOT tolerate that kind of behavior around my children at all. There is a law about profanity in public and he was breaking that law by cussing loudly in a public place. Sorry you had to deal with all that!
PitterPatter 10:58 AM 11-07-2011
Originally Posted by AnneCordelia:
IMO you have to protect yourself and your children. But I also feel an obligation to the general public.
If I found myself in that situation I would have pretended I heard nothing, not reacted to the language or to the man, and would have appeared to have 'found' what I needed in that aisle and left it. Then I would have marched straight to the customer service desk and reported him.
Not doing anything doesn't do anyone any service except to empower that man to misbehave in public again in the future. It fuels his ego and he thinks he's invincible. Who will be there next time he speaks out inappropriately and gets his anger? Will it be a sweet grandmother? A child? He needs to be checked.
This is a good point!! I noticed that too. I like to watch people. I'm not a freak or anything IMO you have to protect yourself and your children. But I also feel an obligation to the general public.
If I found myself in that situation I would have pretended I heard nothing, not reacted to the language or to the man, and would have appeared to have 'found' what I needed in that aisle and left it. Then I would have marched straight to the customer service desk and reported him.
Not doing anything doesn't do anyone any service except to empower that man to misbehave in public again in the future. It fuels his ego and he thinks he's invincible. Who will be there next time he speaks out inappropriately and gets his anger? Will it be a sweet grandmother? A child? He needs to be checked.
I mean at summer events, festivals, basketball court/playgrounds etc. Especially younger guys seem to get a puffier chest when someone backs down from them even verbally. Next time I will keep my mouth shut and report immediately! Thanks everyone!