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Old 05-11-2015, 07:39 AM
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Default Blackcat I need your help along with everyone else here

I have a particularly had 4yr old who is like having a very tall 2yr old. He is just very hard to deal with because I get frustrated with him. I post about the things he does a lot. His mom is awful too. Her kids should always have special. She picks them up at 5 and then makes them go to be 7-730. She doesn't want him napping here anymore. I've tried that an he intentionally makes a ton of noise to keep everyone else awake. Her parenting style is not to parent. She doesn't want him to be upset. She doesn't like it when he clinches his fist an yells at her till he turns red. But her child not mine. Well I get a text message today.

.... Is there something I can send with blank to do on his nap mat instead of sleep? Nights are awful when he naps and its leading to a lot of issues between he and I.

This is the same lady that gives her kids candy on the way here every single morning to get them in their car seats.

I need to think of something I can write to her or say to get the point across that he isn't forced to nap but if he falls asleep I will not wake him up an if she doesn't like it then move on.
I let him sit on the couch with books and puzzles and he usually falls asleep sitting up. He has been yawning for the last two hours so I know he is tired. The problem is she wants him to go to sleep at 7/730 when his sister goes and that doesn't happen. He doesn't believe in her authority so he runs around his room tossing toys around. I want her to know that it is her parenting problem an not my problem and it shouldn't be come my problem.
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:07 AM
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Text back..

What time does he go to bed?

Last time we talked you said he went between seven to seven thirty. That's REALLY early. For kids his age on a daycare schedule bedtime is usually around nine. If you get him outdoors after daycare and get TONS of physical activity, home for a healthy tummy filling home cooked meal, family time together with you and Daddy, and a nice warm bath around eight, some snuggle time reading books and talking with lights low and calm atmosphere he should be ready to nod off around nine... nine thirty.

Make sure he KNOWS once lights out he MUST stay in bed. Your relationship is very important so having time together outside, a sit down family meal, games and activities as a family, a nice long soak in the tub, and a low key story time before bed will bring you so very close together.
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:19 AM
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I can see how she would be offended by that because it will come off as op telling her how to parent, but it seems like SOMEONE needs to because she isn't doing a bang up job. I think what nannyde said is something that should be said, but you should expect some attitude.

Tell her your program is for nappers only, so if he falls asleep, he falls asleep. And when the time comes that he outgrows a nap, it's time to go.
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:24 AM
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I agree that she needs someone to tell her what is up. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you are putting your kid to bed at 7 and they are not falling asleep till 10, maybe you should adjust bed time! Of course, it is far easier to try to force YOU to make adjustments, so she can dump the kid in bed at 7 and open that bottle of pinot. Heck no! I would say what nanny says in a nice way that lets her know what parenting looks like. If she cannot deal with doing her end of the bargain, then he needs a new daycare that doesn't require naps (or parent actually parenting their child).
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Text back..

What time does he go to bed?

Last time we talked you said he went between seven to seven thirty. That's REALLY early. For kids his age on a daycare schedule bedtime is usually around nine. If you get him outdoors after daycare and get TONS of physical activity, home for a healthy tummy filling home cooked meal, family time together with you and Daddy, and a nice warm bath around eight, some snuggle time reading books and talking with lights low and calm atmosphere he should be ready to nod off around nine... nine thirty.

Make sure he KNOWS once lights out he MUST stay in bed. Your relationship is very important so having time together outside, a sit down family meal, games and activities as a family, a nice long soak in the tub, and a low key story time before bed will bring you so very close together.
Unfortunately she blames a lot of things on dad being deployed. However dad has been gone a while. Being a previous military family I know it does get hard on a kid, but he was this way before dad even left. Mom wants her alone time. She doesn't worry about giving them baths sometimes a week or so at a time. She just doesn't want to deal with her kids at all. I've suggested moving his bedtime to 9pm but she doesn't wanna do that because it would interfere with her alone time. He doesn't believe in her authority as a mom. She feels taking away things works best for him but he needs a good ole fashion spanking.
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by NessaRose View Post
I can see how she would be offended by that because it will come off as op telling her how to parent, but it seems like SOMEONE needs to because she isn't doing a bang up job. I think what nannyde said is something that should be said, but you should expect some attitude.

Tell her your program is for nappers only, so if he falls asleep, he falls asleep. And when the time comes that he outgrows a nap, it's time to go.
She swears he is super easy to go to bed when he doesn't nap. Well when he is here and I gave him activities to do at the table he constantly loud and waking up everyone. So i make him sit on the couch with books and puzzles. I never told him he has to nap, but I don't make it easy for him to stay awake either. The curtains are drawn shut (still not dark in here but it isn't super bright either) and music plays because I have three two year olds who are hell on two feet by 5pm if they don't. Like now he is already asleep an he just got on the couch 7 minutes ago. If that doesn't scream out he still needs to nap. I'm gonna look back at the contract she signed because I think I do have a section in here that they don't have to nap but if they fall asleep I won't wake them.
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:44 AM
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I agree that she needs someone to tell her what is up. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you are putting your kid to bed at 7 and they are not falling asleep till 10, maybe you should adjust bed time! Of course, it is far easier to try to force YOU to make adjustments, so she can dump the kid in bed at 7 and open that bottle of pinot. Heck no! I would say what nanny says in a nice way that lets her know what parenting looks like. If she cannot deal with doing her end of the bargain, then he needs a new daycare that doesn't require naps (or parent actually parenting their child).
She always puts it back on me. She has blamed my daughter for her 2-year old sassy side. Which my daughter is sassy to a point but she is your typical fashionista 4-year old girl. My daughter has gotten to the point that she is tired of being home during the day with a bunch of two year olds so she hangs out in her room. She will come out from time to time.
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Old 05-11-2015, 08:45 AM
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I would probably replace him and the sibling and let her know that since she requested no napping, they are no longer a good fit for your program. I don't think she is willing to listen to you and/or adjust anything she does, she just wants the easy way out. Nope.

I have a similar issue with a developmentally delayed 4yo. Leaves here at 5:30, in bed AT 7. He literally eats, bath, bed (she does bathe him nightly). He gets Benadryl and melatonin if he is not asleep at 7:30. Irony is, even on Mondays with her schedule, he still naps here within 10 minutes of laying down. I have not been writing down that he naps, and her issue miraculously disappeared.
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Old 05-11-2015, 09:16 AM
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I would probably replace him and the sibling and let her know that since she requested no napping, they are no longer a good fit for your program. I don't think she is willing to listen to you and/or adjust anything she does, she just wants the easy way out. Nope.

I have a similar issue with a developmentally delayed 4yo. Leaves here at 5:30, in bed AT 7. He literally eats, bath, bed (she does bathe him nightly). He gets Benadryl and melatonin if he is not asleep at 7:30. Irony is, even on Mondays with her schedule, he still naps here within 10 minutes of laying down. I have not been writing down that he naps, and her issue miraculously disappeared.
I did ask her what time is his bedtime now. She said 730 to 8 depending if he has soccer or not. I told her that I felt that was her contributing factor because my dd is older than him and goes to bed at 9pm if she takes a nap or 830 if she doesn't. But she also gets up at 6-630 in the morning on her own. I was like I know different kids but they are on the exact same schedule here. I told her he only naps 20 minutes or so but she said that 20-minutes is obviously too much since he won't go to bed at his bedtime. I can't tell her he doesn't ever nap because he will tell her that he does nap. They went down at 1130 and he was out before 11:39. He clearly needs to rest. She doesn't make him take a nap on weekends and so he is a nightmare on Monday till after nap. He hits, spits and throws toys. Like I said he is like having a giant 2-year old.

I have been trying to replace these two since dad told me that he didn't forget my payment he just thought getting his kids home was most important because of the snow. He passed three ATM locations an a bank at the end of my street. Mom constantly forgets payment. It's just a mess. I'm having a hard time replacing because so many SAHM doing it for next to nothing.
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Old 05-11-2015, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Cozy_Kids_Childcare View Post
I did ask her what time is his bedtime now. She said 730 to 8 depending if he has soccer or not. I told her that I felt that was her contributing factor because my dd is older than him and goes to bed at 9pm if she takes a nap or 830 if she doesn't. But she also gets up at 6-630 in the morning on her own. I was like I know different kids but they are on the exact same schedule here. I told her he only naps 20 minutes or so but she said that 20-minutes is obviously too much since he won't go to bed at his bedtime. I can't tell her he doesn't ever nap because he will tell her that he does nap. They went down at 1130 and he was out before 11:39. He clearly needs to rest. She doesn't make him take a nap on weekends and so he is a nightmare on Monday till after nap. He hits, spits and throws toys. Like I said he is like having a giant 2-year old.

I have been trying to replace these two since dad told me that he didn't forget my payment he just thought getting his kids home was most important because of the snow. He passed three ATM locations an a bank at the end of my street. Mom constantly forgets payment. It's just a mess. I'm having a hard time replacing because so many SAHM doing it for next to nothing.


I feel you on that, I am having the same issue.
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Old 05-11-2015, 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Thriftylady View Post
[/u][/b]

I feel you on that, I am having the same issue.
I've tried for the better part of 6 months. I've added a half hour to the end of my day an advertising for infants.
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