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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Self Help Skills In Toddlers
ABCDaycareMN 06:42 AM 06-10-2013
When do you expect a child to be able to put their own shoes on, take off clothes, put clothes on?

My daughter is 20 months and hasn't figured out how to do any of these yet. I have been working on taking socks off and putting shoes (crocs) on and she is not getting it. She gets very frustrated trying.

Is she behind. My son was never like this. Taking off everything at like 1 year and could fully dress himself by age 2.
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jenn 06:54 AM 06-10-2013
I think each kid is different. I have a DCG that is 30 months and has no idea in the world how to dress herself, put on shoes of any kind-even slip ons, or wash hands by her self. I have another DCG that is 29 months old and can do all of those things by herself, except for tying her shoes.

I just keep encouraging them to try by themselves. I praise successes, but do not ever turn it into a negative. I think they all just learn in their own time.
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Blackcat31 07:43 AM 06-10-2013
After I had my second child, I seriously thought there was something wrong.... the milestones were so different

Then I started doing child care and realized that each child really does develop at their own rate.

I wouldn't stress about it too much and would continue to just offer her the opportunity to continue practicing and offering positive reinforcement.

Maybe get a few pairs of shoes/socks that are alot larger than the size she actually wears so she can practice the concept a bit easier.

I put smiley faces on the toe areas of their shoes and when their shoes are on the right feet, the smiley faces "kiss". My kiddos love it and it helps them figure out which foot each shoe goes on in a fun way.
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youretooloud 08:27 AM 06-10-2013
Socks are hard! I can barely put their socks on them myself.

But, crocs are very easy, I'd think that skill will come easily.

Most of these kids can take their shoes off. (they will all be 2 yrs old in Sept/October) They can put crocs on, the girls can put everybody else's shoes on their feet.

But, none of them can undress themselves, or dress themselves.
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daycarediva 08:53 AM 06-10-2013
I would only be concerned if it wasn't happening at all by age 3.

I have 5 2's in my program right now. All are different, even the 2 who have birthdays within a week of each other.

One of my dcg's has been dressing/undressing and fully potty trained, even at night/naps since before 2.

Dcb, same age, not quite potty trained, still can't take OFF slip on/off shoes.

The rest fall somewhere in between.

My 3yo (have 1) and my 4yo (have 1) are mastering more complex skills like zippers and buttons/fasteners. They all help the littles, especially during dress up times.
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BumbleBee 05:29 PM 06-10-2013
I wouldn't be concerned, just keep giving the opportunity to practice.

If it makes you feel better my 20 month old dcb can kick off his rainboots, step into his rainboots if they're against the wall, and that's it for self help skills. 3 yo dcb (turned 3 last week) can take off velcro shoes, put undies/pants on (usually backwards), wash his hands and *sometimes* put his shoes on. My 4.5 yo dcg can do all of the above, snaps, and is just starting to get zipping down. She can dress herself but she usually puts stuff on backwards.
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daycare 08:35 PM 06-10-2013
play games getting dressed.

We do this all the time. We do it when we are not trying to rush out the door to go some where.

try this..

sing to the hokey pokey

you put your right sock on put your right sock off, you put your right sock on then you shake it all about......you get the rest I am sure.

we sign it as we put on our shoes, then clothes and so on.... we do it with bigger clothing that fit over their own clothing at circle time. shoes are the only thing that we use that is actually theirs..

to each their own, they are all so different. Don't forget that you also have to deal with what parents do at home. When I worked outside my home, I had to dress my son becuase if I did not, I would have been late to work every day. ONe day I woke up and I was dressing an 8 year old. Thank goodness I found child care and was able to see what I was doing...
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My3cents 04:15 AM 06-11-2013
They are all different. I think much of it has to do with how much encouragement they have and chance to practice at it.

Some kids have no interest in doing these things for themselves. You see this when they tuck the little hands behind the head while you change them. Kind of like this is the life- LOL

Funny thing is that these days being able to do velcro is a big deal and an accomplishment, back in the day it was getting the heal into the shoe and then being able to tie. Now it is a big deal if they can slip the feet into them..... I am not knocking Velcro at all!!!
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LaLa1923 05:06 PM 06-11-2013
I am in the same situation! I definitely did not have perfect bio children by no means. However, I have had some crazy experiences myself.

My 20mo DCB is an extremely messy eater, I expect some mess but this is ridiculous. When my kids started learning how to eat alone I gave them spoons. We always mastered spoons first and it was a long time before they got a fork. However, past 15 months they could use a spoon and made very little mess.
This DCB still uses his hands mostly and it's extremely frustrating......
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ABCDaycareMN 08:24 PM 06-11-2013
My daughter has been eating with a spoon/fork since 10 months old and is a very clean eater. Drinking from a cup since 15 months old.

My daughter hates to be dirty in any way. She loathes sand and beaches.

It's just so strange that she cannot put on easy shoes, she can take them off just fine. I guess I'll jut keep trying.

She is so ready to be potty trained but I'm not going to until she can go by herself and pull up/down her own pants.

We just transitioned into a toddler bed and no issues there.

Could it be that she is the size of a 12 month old?
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cheerfuldom 08:31 PM 06-11-2013
every kid is different.

my middle daughter is almost 4 and still cannot reliably dress herself. she tries very hard but she is uncoordinated and inpatient. She is potty trained but sometimes struggles with clothing that gets twisted when she pulls up or down. her problem solving skills are poor as well. Some kids just really struggle with this type of thing.
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