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Unregistered 05:15 PM 06-22-2010
I have a first time Mother and boy does she think she knows everything and it gets on my nerves seeing how she always tells me how to do this or that and informs me of things like I dont have a clue. Well today she brings me a bigger carseat because she says her Son is to big for the carrier when he is only 17 pounds and 6 months old well the carseat she brang me is a huge model she got from a yard sale and I check the back and guess what its expired so I tell her the seat is expired and its to big for my van I have the smaller version of the caravan so I go on to tell her that her Son can use the other babies carrier he doesnt use anymore because it hold up to 22 pounds and its longer and when her Son is 1 years old he can sit in my childs carseat forward facing well she came back with APA says a child should sit rear facing up untill the age of 2 years old and he is gonna sit rear facing for that long I was thinking WTH what 1 year old wants to sit staring at a seat I know my kids loved sitting forward facing at one I didnt say anything back as she knows everything have any of you had to deal with a Mother like this. This is the first time for me she is all about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, eating organic, baby wearing, which is there is nothing wrong with that Im just not that way and Ive never had another daycare parent that way. She is also getting rid of the kids doctor because he didnt agree with one of her home remedies which was odd to me too her kid is also now wearing a teething necklace I dont get it.
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professionalmom 05:55 PM 06-22-2010
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a first time Mother and boy does she think she knows everything and it gets on my nerves seeing how she always tells me how to do this or that and informs me of things like I dont have a clue. Well today she brings me a bigger carseat because she says her Son is to big for the carrier when he is only 17 pounds and 6 months old well the carseat she brang me is a huge model she got from a yard sale and I check the back and guess what its expired so I tell her the seat is expired and its to big for my van I have the smaller version of the caravan so I go on to tell her that her Son can use the other babies carrier he doesnt use anymore because it hold up to 22 pounds and its longer and when her Son is 1 years old he can sit in my childs carseat forward facing well she came back with APA says a child should sit rear facing up untill the age of 2 years old and he is gonna sit rear facing for that long I was thinking WTH what 1 year old wants to sit staring at a seat I know my kids loved sitting forward facing at one I didnt say anything back as she knows everything have any of you had to deal with a Mother like this.
I have NEVER heard of rear-facing until 2 years old. But I just checked. It appears that she may be right. Trust me, I AM shocked. My DD will be 2 next month and she has been front facing since she hit the 1 year & 20 lbs mark. I was thrilled. After all, when it's just the 2 of us, she is calmer because she can see me. BUT, all the info I checked out a minute ago also said that you need to follow the seat's recommendations. If it's not built to protect a child over 20 lbs, it's not helping.

I'll bet this mom is young. I was a first time mom at 33 and everyone was shocked at how laid-back I was. But, I also had a ton of experience with kids, so I didn't flip out over every little thing. I love when I have a DCM under 25 and she acts like she knows it all and I'm so kind of idiot. I jsut want to say, "hey, I've been taking care of kids since before you were even conceived. You can't possibly know more than me. I'm NOT saying I know more than you or that I'm better than you. Just don't insult me by saying you know more than me!" But, I have too much class to lower myself to their immature level.

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This is the first time for me she is all about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, eating organic, baby wearing, which is there is nothing wrong with that Im just not that way and Ive never had another daycare parent that way. She is also getting rid of the kids doctor because he didnt agree with one of her home remedies which was odd to me too her kid is also now wearing a teething necklace I dont get it.
OY! Why do these moms have to give the rest of us a bad reputation! Not all of us breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing moms are this arrogant! I promise you. I breastfed and I loved it. I think I'm the only one I know who was getting a full 8 hours of sleep per night from the time my baby was 2 weeks old. But, it's not for everyone. We did the cloth diaper thing for most of the first year, then DD's urine output became too much (changing every 1/2 hour!). But I loved the cloth diapers. Tried baby wearing. DD didn't like the sling until she was a little older, but it never caught on for us because we tried to start later. I believe in it, it just wasn't for DD. Eating organic is nice and I do try to buy organic when I can afford it. But, I'm not fanatical about it.

I guess I'm the type of mom who had an "ideal" picture in my head before I became a mom. But, I had the brains to modify my "ideals" to fit my DD and her personality. Nor am I arrogant enough to tell someone else that there's only one way to raise a child. Every parents needs to find what works for him/her and his/her child. Just tell this mom to get off her self-righteous high horse, get real, and leave her opinions at the door. Just joking. Don't say it. But, you can think it - everyday if you have too. Then there's the even famous eye roll once the door is closed.
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originalkat 06:35 PM 06-22-2010
I second Professional Mom's last paragraph!!
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misol 08:19 PM 06-22-2010
[quote=professionalmom;33678]I have NEVER heard of rear-facing until 2 years old. But I just checked. It appears that she may be right. Trust me, I AM shocked. My DD will be 2 next month and she has been front facing since she hit the 1 year & 20 lbs mark. I was thrilled. After all, when it's just the 2 of us, she is calmer because she can see me. BUT, all the info I checked out a minute ago also said that you need to follow the seat's recommendations. If it's not built to protect a child over 20 lbs, it's not helping.

*Wow, this is crazy! I can't imagine having to make my kids wait until 2. As a matter of fact I turned my kids around before the age of 1 (both were about 10 months) because their legs were crunched up and they were so uncomfortable. I have very large children and they met the height and weight requirements for our state, just not the age.

OY! Why do these moms have to give the rest of us a bad reputation! Not all of us breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing moms are this arrogant! I promise you. I breastfed and I loved it. I think I'm the only one I know who was getting a full 8 hours of sleep per night from the time my baby was 2 weeks old. But, it's not for everyone. We did the cloth diaper thing for most of the first year, then DD's urine output became too much (changing every 1/2 hour!). But I loved the cloth diapers. Tried baby wearing. DD didn't like the sling until she was a little older, but it never caught on for us because we tried to start later. I believe in it, it just wasn't for DD. Eating organic is nice and I do try to buy organic when I can afford it. But, I'm not fanatical about it.

*So true - we are not all like that. We did all of the above except cloth diapering because the daycare that we used didn't "do" cloth diapers.
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hawkfan428 04:33 AM 06-23-2010
I feel ya. We had a new baby start a couple of weeks ago and mom (first timer) brings in what I like to call a 2.5 page instruction manual on her 2 month old. I've been working in infant rooms for 7 years now. I kind of get it...but really? Do you really need to tell us that we can dispose of his drop-in liners for his bottle? Not to mention she puts the kid in like 3 onsies and wants him to stay that way all day AND keep his shoes and socks on. AHH!!
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tmcp2001 04:57 AM 06-23-2010
I'll respond to your post in two parts...

First - It drives me CRAZY when first time parents tell me what to do. Uh, I have four kids. Trust me, not only do I learn every day that I know nothing about parenting - you have one kid, you know NOTHING about parenting. Read every book you want, the only way to learn this stuff is to go through it.

Second - I'm a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician (car seat tech) which I voluntarily took four days of (unpaid) leave from work to become certified in. Rear facing until AT LEAST age two is recommended. It is five times safer! It has nothing to do with age/maturity of the child. It has to do with the development of a child's bone structure. In a crash, a forward facing child will be thrust forward at such a high rate of speed (even in a low impact crash) that they could actually sever their spinal chord internally resulting in paralysis or even death. This happens because a child's bones are still soft (allowing the head and neck to move forward while the body is - hopefully - restrained by the harness straps) and their head still makes up a large portion of their body. To the opposite effect, in a crash, a rear facing child is cradled by the car seat - the seat will absorb the crash force and the child will be much better protected. Plus, there is no drastic forward movement.

I have a 28lb 2.5 year old - she's still rear-facing in a Britax Boulevard. There are several seats on the market that now rear-face to 40llbs. Oh, and just in case anyone wonders - it's perfectly fine for a child's legs to be bent/folded and touching the back of the vehicle seat. There have been no reports of children breaking their legs while rear-facing in a crash. Even so, I'd take a broken leg over a broken spine anyday!

For more information visit http://www.car-seat.org/.

Okay, off my soap box now...
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booroo 05:28 AM 06-23-2010
Well my dd were rear facing until they were 4... They are tiny little thing and still at 8 and 6 sit in a car seat, I just turned my 2.5 year old.... Sorry but safer is better when in a car wreck, which my children and I were a roll over, they all walked away...

As far as know everything, just grin and smile and say, well there is more than 1 way to raise a child, here at my dc we do it this way!!
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Lianne 05:33 AM 06-23-2010
Awesome information! Well done.
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actaktmdt 05:33 AM 06-23-2010
Originally Posted by tmcp2001:
I'll respond to your post in two parts...

First - It drives me CRAZY when first time parents tell me what to do. Uh, I have four kids. Trust me, not only do I learn every day that I know nothing about parenting - you have one kid, you know NOTHING about parenting. Read every book you want, the only way to learn this stuff is to go through it.

Second - I'm a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician (car seat tech) which I voluntarily took four days of (unpaid) leave from work to become certified in. Rear facing until AT LEAST age two is recommended. It is five times safer! It has nothing to do with age/maturity of the child. It has to do with the development of a child's bone structure. In a crash, a forward facing child will be thrust forward at such a high rate of speed (even in a low impact crash) that they could actually sever their spinal chord internally resulting in paralysis or even death. This happens because a child's bones are still soft (allowing the head and neck to move forward while the body is - hopefully - restrained by the harness straps) and their head still makes up a large portion of their body. To the opposite effect, in a crash, a rear facing child is cradled by the car seat - the seat will absorb the crash force and the child will be much better protected. Plus, there is no drastic forward movement.

I have a 28lb 2.5 year old - she's still rear-facing in a Britax Boulevard. There are several seats on the market that now rear-face to 40llbs. Oh, and just in case anyone wonders - it's perfectly fine for a child's legs to be bent/folded and touching the back of the vehicle seat. There have been no reports of children breaking their legs while rear-facing in a crash. Even so, I'd take a broken leg over a broken spine anyday!

For more information visit http://www.car-seat.org/.

Okay, off my soap box now...
Thank you...............yes rear facing untill 2 is verry impotant as mom and a dc mom. There are some verry strong prof that amber necklaces help kids and adults....while I don't use it a dc mom uses it on her child and its day and night difference.....emosks we need jens link and I can't copy and paste it from my phone can u get it and post?
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TGT09 06:03 AM 06-23-2010
I had one of these for a while and then one day she realized I might actually know what I'm talking about. I had to be a bit more of a stickler with things. She ended up becoming a problem parent that tried to pull things over on me....it seemed like when I caught her or told her no, then she realized I'm in charge, not her when her child is in my care.
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mainemomma 06:06 AM 06-23-2010
Awesome info on the carseat

What are these teething necklace's you guys are talking about? My 2 boys never had an issue with teething, but I have one little girl who is just MISERABLE!

Melissa
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TGT09 06:11 AM 06-23-2010
Originally Posted by mainemomma:
Awesome info on the carseat

What are these teething necklace's you guys are talking about? My 2 boys never had an issue with teething, but I have one little girl who is just MISERABLE!

Melissa
Yes, I want to know about these necklaces also. Website?
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TGT09 06:14 AM 06-23-2010
I just googled the necklace...those really don't look safe at all. Maybe I'm missing something???
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jen 07:02 AM 06-23-2010
Originally Posted by tmcp2001:
I'll respond to your post in two parts...

Second - I'm a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician (car seat tech) which I voluntarily took four days of (unpaid) leave from work to become certified in. Rear facing until AT LEAST age two is recommended. It is five times safer! It has nothing to do with age/maturity of the child. It has to do with the development of a child's bone structure. In a crash, a forward facing child will be thrust forward at such a high rate of speed (even in a low impact crash) that they could actually sever their spinal chord internally resulting in paralysis or even death. This happens because a child's bones are still soft (allowing the head and neck to move forward while the body is - hopefully - restrained by the harness straps) and their head still makes up a large portion of their body. To the opposite effect, in a crash, a rear facing child is cradled by the car seat - the seat will absorb the crash force and the child will be much better protected. Plus, there is no drastic forward movement.

I have a 28lb 2.5 year old - she's still rear-facing in a Britax Boulevard. There are several seats on the market that now rear-face to 40llbs. Oh, and just in case anyone wonders - it's perfectly fine for a child's legs to be bent/folded and touching the back of the vehicle seat. There have been no reports of children breaking their legs while rear-facing in a crash. Even so, I'd take a broken leg over a broken spine anyday!

For more information visit http://www.car-seat.org/.

Okay, off my soap box now...
Thank you.
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Daycare Mommy 07:33 AM 06-23-2010
Originally Posted by TGT09:
I just googled the necklace...those really don't look safe at all. Maybe I'm missing something???
You are supposed to order them short enough that they can't put them in their mouths. The amber is just supposed to do something by being in contact with their skin.
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Unregistered 08:16 AM 06-23-2010
Thanks for all the wonderful comments. I did read up on what the APA recommends but as we know as parents these rules and guidelines change all the time and us as parents to what WE think is best for OUR kids as far as it being a daycare child I will try the rear facing with him but if it gets to be to hard to get him in and out etc. he will be turned around as the law is rear facing intill the age of 1. The teething necklaces are ambers and they go around the babies neck its really small and the baby cant get to it even thou I do worry about any of the other kids seeing it and pulling on it which hasnt happened yet I did notice a difference at first but today he was a fussy pants drooling and chewing on his little hands whew Im glad its nap time.
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Lilbutterflie 10:08 AM 06-23-2010
I too am SHOCKED at the APA's recommendations for rear facing until 2! But it is just a recommendation, not the law.
I had a mom whom I was going to start watching her 6 month old son in Aug full time; but she ended up needing to watch him just for a week about a month ago (he was 3 months old at the time). She questioned pretty much everything in my contract, and was upset that I told her we would be outside twice a day (in the morning and afternoon). At the time, it was in the late 80's to 90 degrees during the mid-afternoon; and she told me that her Dr. told her that babies should not be outside for more than 10-15 minutes in the heat; even when they are in the shade!! I have other kids that NEED to have outdoor playtime, so I told her it couldn't be helped. Also, she is our neighbor and she takes him outside on her own for walks all the time!! She then got upset with me for letting him sleep for 4 hours without waking him up, and the next day she told me she wanted him to eat every 3 hours on the dot; sleeping or not. Again, I guess there's nothing wrong with parenting that way; but that's not how I do things here. Everyone gets outdoor playtime, no matter what their age; and I let babies determine their own schedules. I think you just have to say "Your parenting style is great, and I'm sure it works for you; but that's not how I do things here." If you lose her, then you know it's probably for the better. The mom and I ended up deciding in the long run that we would part ways. I will not be watching her son in August.
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Daycare Mommy 10:33 AM 06-23-2010
Food for thought. Heartbreaking story and the forward vs. rear facing crash tests are eye opening.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8
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emosks 10:43 AM 06-23-2010
I'm really shocked at the amount of people who think that at 1 year just because it is the law that they either have to or want to turn their kids around to FF! Don't you want these kids to be safest when in your care? PLUS...the amount of people that think just because a child is 40 lbs that they are ready for a seatbelt/booster seat combo. Very scary to me.

Check out this story...http://www.kyledavidmiller.org/ or just google why you should keep your child RF as long as possible.
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jen 11:06 AM 06-23-2010
I want to thank everyone who passed along the links regarding rear-facing car seats. I can't imagine anyone watching these and continuing to use front facing. I've seen similar videos before but it is a great reminder.

I copied the links to dcp's. I hope I see a few more facing backward tomorrow.
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Janet 11:14 AM 06-23-2010
I learned more than I ever wanted to know when I watched a training module about impact on carseats that were front facing versus rear facing. It opened my eyes about booster seats as well. Watching the crash tests made me (along with pretty much every other person watching) cry because of the mental image that the tests left in my head.

I know that parents are allowed to front face at a year, but I'm a big supporter of rear facing for as long as possible.
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TGT09 11:18 AM 06-23-2010
Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy:
You are supposed to order them short enough that they can't put them in their mouths. The amber is just supposed to do something by being in contact with their skin.
Ahhhh, makes much more sense! Thanks.
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TGT09 11:20 AM 06-23-2010
Originally Posted by emosks:
I'm really shocked at the amount of people who think that at 1 year just because it is the law that they either have to or want to turn their kids around to FF! Don't you want these kids to be safest when in your care? PLUS...the amount of people that think just because a child is 40 lbs that they are ready for a seatbelt/booster seat combo. Very scary to me.

Check out this story...http://www.kyledavidmiller.org/ or just google why you should keep your child RF as long as possible.
I agree....I take extra precautions with ALL children that ride with me...daycare kids and my nieces alike! I'd rather be safe than sorry. I think the transfer to booster seats are the scariest for me so I tend to drag those out. I also let no one under age 16 ride in the front seat!!! That is a huge one for me!
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Daycare Mommy 06:51 PM 06-23-2010
While we're on the topic of car safety I thought I'd share this vid. It isn't about carseats, but seat belts in general. Really beautifully done.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SussexSaferRoads
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Unregistered 09:01 AM 01-11-2011
That car safety belt video was beautiful! I also am one of those moms who have jumped on the carseat safety bandwagon, and I know I must seem like an annoying know it all mom who is 28 years old with 3 children.
My first daughter is 9 years old and I followed what the law said. Rear facing until 1 year old, And front facing until 40 lbs, then booster mode until for me ( I stopped using a booster when she was in kindergarten.-but probably shouldn't have knowing what i know now)

My second daughter is 3 years old and 40 pounds and I decided to delay her booster seat training awhile so I bought a carseat that goes front facing until 65 pounds, after she outgrew her 40 lb limit carseat. Also, with her I didn't actually follow the law and at about 10 months my husband and I thought she'd be fine ff since she could hold her head up and it would be fun for her to be ff, and we thought 10 months as opposed to 12 months was just an arbitrary number at the time.

My 3rd daughter is 17 months and rearfacing still, since I now know and feel i understand the reason for the at least 12 month old ff law, and feel like I know and understand better this time around why rear facing beyond 1 year would be beneficial if we were to get in a wreck.

Basically I really have made mistakes as I have gone through raising my girls. I remember with my 9 year old, when she was a baby about 11-12 months, I still had her in her whinnie the pooh infant carrier until exactly 12 months old even though her head was probably half to 1 inch over the top of the seat and I think her weight was more or maybe around 22 pounds.
And with my second daughter, when she was 2 and a half and I caught wind of the safety of rearfacing I turned her to rear facing again, yet I didn't realise at the time that her head couldn't be over the seat for rear facing.
And I know I have made mistakes with locking clips and recline features and the tigghtness of the carseat installed.
Basically all we can do is live and learn, and keep learning to do things better than we have done things in the past.
Sorry if I'm one of those annoying know it all moms. I just want my kids as safe as possible and the new information and visual videos affirms my new knowledge of infant and toddler carseat placement.
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Blackcat31 10:27 AM 01-11-2011
I guess I've never seen the amber teething necklaces but my sister recently got these for her teether...
http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/teething-necklaces
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laundrymom 10:30 AM 01-11-2011
rofl! O am NOT laughing at you but at myself for the way I was cheering you on while reading this!

worry about head placement, not foot comfort. =-) thats what I have been known to tell parents,.. well in a crash which do you want broke? head or foot? so far noone has said head. I also HATE when they yank them out of shoulder harnesses before they are large enough. I couldnt care less if they WANT to be restrained, they either do it or dont ride in the car.
at least with me,.. and dont even START me on the whole, regular car safety belt and putting the shoulder harness behind them making it a lap belt. That makes my blood boil.... if they arent big enough to keep the dang belt out of their face, back in a car seat they go!

I truly think that in every birthing class they need graphic pictures of safety seats, AFTER crashes, complete with blood, and carnage. I want them to watch a crash test baby dummy go through different types of collisions,.. I want red paint packets and sound effects. I want to scare people into using seats correctly. I want them to leave that birthing class,.. terrified of doing it wrong. I do my dangdest to keep kids as safe as I can, as I know how to, when they are here,.. I wish parents and friends did the same.

Originally Posted by tmcp2001:
I'll respond to your post in two parts...

First - It drives me CRAZY when first time parents tell me what to do. Uh, I have four kids. Trust me, not only do I learn every day that I know nothing about parenting - you have one kid, you know NOTHING about parenting. Read every book you want, the only way to learn this stuff is to go through it.

Second - I'm a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician (car seat tech) which I voluntarily took four days of (unpaid) leave from work to become certified in. Rear facing until AT LEAST age two is recommended. It is five times safer! It has nothing to do with age/maturity of the child. It has to do with the development of a child's bone structure. In a crash, a forward facing child will be thrust forward at such a high rate of speed (even in a low impact crash) that they could actually sever their spinal chord internally resulting in paralysis or even death. This happens because a child's bones are still soft (allowing the head and neck to move forward while the body is - hopefully - restrained by the harness straps) and their head still makes up a large portion of their body. To the opposite effect, in a crash, a rear facing child is cradled by the car seat - the seat will absorb the crash force and the child will be much better protected. Plus, there is no drastic forward movement.

I have a 28lb 2.5 year old - she's still rear-facing in a Britax Boulevard. There are several seats on the market that now rear-face to 40llbs. Oh, and just in case anyone wonders - it's perfectly fine for a child's legs to be bent/folded and touching the back of the vehicle seat. There have been no reports of children breaking their legs while rear-facing in a crash. Even so, I'd take a broken leg over a broken spine anyday!

For more information visit http://www.car-seat.org/.

Okay, off my soap box now...

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laundrymom 10:31 AM 01-11-2011
oh and for the record, my 17 yr old begged me to take her out of the booster at age 13/14. she still hadnt hit the height or weight range of 80 pounds,.four foot 9. ... but was so afraid of her friends in 9th grade finding out she rode in a baby seat. lol.
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Blackcat31 10:37 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
oh and for the record, my 17 yr old begged me to take her out of the booster at age 13/14. she still hadnt hit the height or weight range of 80 pounds,.four foot 9. ... but was so afraid of her friends in 9th grade finding out she rode in a baby seat. lol.
That is funny...I have a girlfriend who is 4' 7" tall and seriously weighs 87 lbs...been tiny all her life. She uses a kids booster seat in her car so she can see and use her seatbelt properly. She went to our local police department and they showed her how to make sure it was installed properly. I always tease her but when you think about it she does need one....

Oh and this gal is over 40 and has 4 children of her own!
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laundrymom 10:46 AM 01-11-2011
wow, Meg grew when she turned 15, shes about 5foot 3 and 110 pounds. wet. lol. but she drives a full sized dodge ram 4x4 ext cab truck. looks like a preschooler. lol

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
That is funny...I have a girlfriend who is 4' 7" tall and seriously weighs 87 lbs...been tiny all her life. She uses a kids booster seat in her car so she can see and use her seatbelt properly. She went to our local police department and they showed her how to make sure it was installed properly. I always tease her but when you think about it she does need one....

Oh and this gal is over 40 and has 4 children of her own!

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Missani 10:59 AM 01-11-2011
Yep, I have a rear facing 20 month old. I also have my 4 year old in a Britax that goes to 80 lbs., so he will be in a car seat (not booster) until then. I don't drive my dck, but if I did, I would have to be able to afford Britax or Graco seats for all of them (I probably have enough already as we have 4-one for each kid for each car, my mom has 2, and my mil has 1) and would have to have the space to rear face all kids under 40 lbs. or at least until age 2. It's not worth it to me. I make their safety a top concern in all other aspects of our day, so why would it be any different in the car? It really bugs me that I have one dc mom who keeps telling me "The day she turns one we are turning that carseat around, if not before." This mom has been in at least 4 car accidents that I know of (including a rollover) and her baby has already been in one with her. It just wouldn't be worth it to me as a mom, and as far as liability goes, as a provider either.

However, as far as know it all moms, that does get annoying. Is there any way you can do the old "smile and nod" approach and do it your way when she isn't there? I don't mean as far as safety, etc. is concerned but maybe remove the teething necklace/not wear the baby/use an occasional disposable if necessary/etc. I must admit, I've been guilty of this before. The one that especially gets me is the baby wearing. It is especially difficult if they hold or wear the baby all the time and co-sleep and never let the baby cry. It's not that I disagree with this type of parenting, it's just that the baby usually requires a lot of care/holding/physical contact in the daycare setting and it's just not very practical. They usually don't sleep well either because they are used to physically touching someone all of the time. It's nice and all, I just can't do that here, and I think it is just fine to encourage some independence from a baby here and there.

And it's true that not all moms like this are know-it-all and annoying. I've been a breastfeeding, organic food mom, too, and I consider myself quite normal.
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laundrymom 11:05 AM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Missani:
And it's true that not all moms like this are know-it-all and annoying. I've been a breastfeeding, organic food mom, too, and I consider myself quite normal.
lol Ive always said normal was overrated. =-)
my new mantra,.. live life in 3D. =-)
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MarinaVanessa 11:19 AM 01-11-2011
I have also seen that it's recommended for children under the age of 2 to sit in a rear-facing car-seat in the backseat of the car however, like someone else said ... it's recommended. It also said "as per manufucturer recommendations" meaning if the manufacturer of the carseats says it safe then do it. Meaning as long as the child is within the car-seat's age and weight specifications then it's safe. In other words, don't put a child that weighs 40 lbs into a carseat that has a weight limit of 35 pounds.

Here's where I question the logic ... I've seen infant carseats that are rear-facing that say that they'll hold up to 35 lbs. What?! Have you ever tried to stick a child that weighs 35 lbs into a rear-facing carseat?! My 6yo daughter barely weighs 60 lbs now and she just turned 6 in december. You want me to fit a child that weighs more than half her size (and she's 3 times older) into a rear-facing car-seat? How? Cut a hole into the backrest of the backseat of my car? Where are their legs supposed to go?
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Missani 12:02 PM 01-11-2011
The longer the legs get, the more they fold up-like a frog.
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kendallina 12:10 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a first time Mother and boy does she think she knows everything and it gets on my nerves seeing how she always tells me how to do this or that and informs me of things like I dont have a clue. Well today she brings me a bigger carseat because she says her Son is to big for the carrier when he is only 17 pounds and 6 months old well the carseat she brang me is a huge model she got from a yard sale and I check the back and guess what its expired so I tell her the seat is expired and its to big for my van I have the smaller version of the caravan so I go on to tell her that her Son can use the other babies carrier he doesnt use anymore because it hold up to 22 pounds and its longer and when her Son is 1 years old he can sit in my childs carseat forward facing well she came back with APA says a child should sit rear facing up untill the age of 2 years old and he is gonna sit rear facing for that long I was thinking WTH what 1 year old wants to sit staring at a seat I know my kids loved sitting forward facing at one I didnt say anything back as she knows everything have any of you had to deal with a Mother like this. This is the first time for me she is all about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, eating organic, baby wearing, which is there is nothing wrong with that Im just not that way and Ive never had another daycare parent that way. She is also getting rid of the kids doctor because he didnt agree with one of her home remedies which was odd to me too her kid is also now wearing a teething necklace I dont get it.
The APA's suggested guidelines changed about a year ago I think on having children rear face until age 2 (or even longer). It is MUCH safer for the child.

ETA: I really should look at the date of these threads before responding and also read all responses before mine... lol
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Danielle 12:10 PM 01-11-2011
I won't get into the carseat part much b/c tmcp2001 has said it well. My 3 year old son is still rearfacing and will be until he hits 35lbs (limit of the seat) then will be in a harness till 80 lbs. Carseat safety is something I don't play around with! When it comes to rearfacing, my motto is "broken legs-cast it. broken neck- casket." Meaning, don't worry about the legs, worry about the neck. If the crash is enough to break legs, it would have broken a neck.

Teething necklaces....awesome!! My daughter wears one and I never know a tooth is coming through until I see it. I also wear a bracelet for pain I have from an injury. It's amazing!! Here's where we got ours: http://hyenacart.com/inspiredbyfinn/
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kendallina 12:14 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Missani:
Yep, I have a rear facing 20 month old. I also have my 4 year old in a Britax that goes to 80 lbs., so he will be in a car seat (not booster) until then. I don't drive my dck, but if I did, I would have to be able to afford Britax or Graco seats for all of them (I probably have enough already as we have 4-one for each kid for each car, my mom has 2, and my mil has 1) and would have to have the space to rear face all kids under 40 lbs. or at least until age 2. It's not worth it to me. I make their safety a top concern in all other aspects of our day, so why would it be any different in the car? It really bugs me that I have one dc mom who keeps telling me "The day she turns one we are turning that carseat around, if not before." This mom has been in at least 4 car accidents that I know of (including a rollover) and her baby has already been in one with her. It just wouldn't be worth it to me as a mom, and as far as liability goes, as a provider either.

However, as far as know it all moms, that does get annoying. Is there any way you can do the old "smile and nod" approach and do it your way when she isn't there? I don't mean as far as safety, etc. is concerned but maybe remove the teething necklace/not wear the baby/use an occasional disposable if necessary/etc. I must admit, I've been guilty of this before. The one that especially gets me is the baby wearing. It is especially difficult if they hold or wear the baby all the time and co-sleep and never let the baby cry. It's not that I disagree with this type of parenting, it's just that the baby usually requires a lot of care/holding/physical contact in the daycare setting and it's just not very practical. They usually don't sleep well either because they are used to physically touching someone all of the time. It's nice and all, I just can't do that here, and I think it is just fine to encourage some independence from a baby here and there.

And it's true that not all moms like this are know-it-all and annoying. I've been a breastfeeding, organic food mom, too, and I consider myself quite normal.
What would it solve for her to remove the teething necklace and put the baby in a disposible diaper every now and then? Just because she doesn't agree with how this child is being raised?

I can understand if the parent is wanting her to hold the baby for more than what is practical for a daycare provider, but I didn't see that mentioned at all...
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sahm2three 12:17 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a first time Mother and boy does she think she knows everything and it gets on my nerves seeing how she always tells me how to do this or that and informs me of things like I dont have a clue. Well today she brings me a bigger carseat because she says her Son is to big for the carrier when he is only 17 pounds and 6 months old well the carseat she brang me is a huge model she got from a yard sale and I check the back and guess what its expired so I tell her the seat is expired and its to big for my van I have the smaller version of the caravan so I go on to tell her that her Son can use the other babies carrier he doesnt use anymore because it hold up to 22 pounds and its longer and when her Son is 1 years old he can sit in my childs carseat forward facing well she came back with APA says a child should sit rear facing up untill the age of 2 years old and he is gonna sit rear facing for that long I was thinking WTH what 1 year old wants to sit staring at a seat I know my kids loved sitting forward facing at one I didnt say anything back as she knows everything have any of you had to deal with a Mother like this. This is the first time for me she is all about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, eating organic, baby wearing, which is there is nothing wrong with that Im just not that way and Ive never had another daycare parent that way. She is also getting rid of the kids doctor because he didnt agree with one of her home remedies which was odd to me too her kid is also now wearing a teething necklace I dont get it.
Well, I didn't wait until 2, but my kids were AT LEAST 18 months old before I turned them around. When my kids were that little, the recs were staying rear facing until they were at least 1 AND 20 pounds. My kids were teeny tiny. My daughter was barely 16 pounds at a year! So, it took some time! As for the home remedies, I understand that too. I never used the teething necklace, but I am guessing it is an amber necklace. I know of a friend who used them and her kids NEVER had teething issues! So, don't knock it till you try it! I think that is what is wrong with western medicine these days! It is med pushing at its best!
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SilverSabre25 12:25 PM 01-11-2011
I'm actually really glad to see so many other providers who agree with and practice extended rear-facing. Watching the crash test videos and reading a bit of literature was all it took for me to be convinced of the safety of ERFing. Maintaining a child rear-facing until at LEAST age 2 may just be a recommendation...but it SHOULD be the law. Would you sacrifice a bit of convenience at the risk of your child's life?

It bears reposting this link: Crash Test Videos The videos are near the bottom of the page. Watch them. Imagine your sweet child in that car seat.

Having a child RFing past the age of 1 is NOT inconvenient. It's really not that hard *at all* to stick them in the seat or have them climb in themselves, reach over, and strap them in. No harder or more annoying than when they're forward facing. They can see out the window just fine. Their feet get curled up, crossed, stuck straight up the back of the seat...whatever. They are usually very comfortable cocooned into their little safe nest.

Rear facing is SAFER. Hands down. My DD rear faced until she was almost 3 in her Britax Roundabout. She outgrew it by height this summer and was 39 inches and almost 31 lbs when we switched her. She's 90th percentile height/75th for weight. She was actually annoyed the first week or two because she didn't have anywhere to rest her feet.

PLEASE read the literature. PLEASE watch the crash test videos. PLEASE think about it. You care so much about health and safety in every.other.instance...why not this one?
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Keri'sKids 12:27 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by professionalmom:
I have NEVER heard of rear-facing until 2 years old. But I just checked. It appears that she may be right. Trust me, I AM shocked. My DD will be 2 next month and she has been front facing since she hit the 1 year & 20 lbs mark. I was thrilled. After all, when it's just the 2 of us, she is calmer because she can see me. BUT, all the info I checked out a minute ago also said that you need to follow the seat's recommendations. If it's not built to protect a child over 20 lbs, it's not helping.

I'll bet this mom is young. I was a first time mom at 33 and everyone was shocked at how laid-back I was. But, I also had a ton of experience with kids, so I didn't flip out over every little thing. I love when I have a DCM under 25 and she acts like she knows it all and I'm so kind of idiot. I jsut want to say, "hey, I've been taking care of kids since before you were even conceived. You can't possibly know more than me. I'm NOT saying I know more than you or that I'm better than you. Just don't insult me by saying you know more than me!" But, I have too much class to lower myself to their immature level.



OY! Why do these moms have to give the rest of us a bad reputation! Not all of us breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing moms are this arrogant! I promise you. I breastfed and I loved it. I think I'm the only one I know who was getting a full 8 hours of sleep per night from the time my baby was 2 weeks old. But, it's not for everyone. We did the cloth diaper thing for most of the first year, then DD's urine output became too much (changing every 1/2 hour!). But I loved the cloth diapers. Tried baby wearing. DD didn't like the sling until she was a little older, but it never caught on for us because we tried to start later. I believe in it, it just wasn't for DD. Eating organic is nice and I do try to buy organic when I can afford it. But, I'm not fanatical about it.

I guess I'm the type of mom who had an "ideal" picture in my head before I became a mom. But, I had the brains to modify my "ideals" to fit my DD and her personality. Nor am I arrogant enough to tell someone else that there's only one way to raise a child. Every parents needs to find what works for him/her and his/her child. Just tell this mom to get off her self-righteous high horse, get real, and leave her opinions at the door. Just joking. Don't say it. But, you can think it - everyday if you have too. Then there's the even famous eye roll once the door is closed.
Wow!! Your last paragraph is right on the mark! Good for you to know what is best without going with the herd. I applaud you.
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Missani 07:55 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by kendallina:
What would it solve for her to remove the teething necklace and put the baby in a disposible diaper every now and then? Just because she doesn't agree with how this child is being raised?

I can understand if the parent is wanting her to hold the baby for more than what is practical for a daycare provider, but I didn't see that mentioned at all...
I'm fairly new to this board, but I am starting to find it difficult to post/read. I don't want to offend anyone or start any sort of argument, but it seems like almost every post someone starts to "jump down the throat" of a poster about something. I thought that this was a place where providers could ask for advice in solving problems. Of course, there are always different solutions to any problem and that's why it helps to ask for suggestions.

In this case, the poster said she was frustrated essentially because this parent does things differently than the way she does them. She feels her knowledge and expertise are in jeopardy because someone who is new to parenting (and without child care experience) is telling her how to do things and she feels it is something she knows more about. I can understand that being frustrating. There are many ways to parent and to be a provider. My suggestion was simply that maybe if it is something that doesn't matter much anyway, maybe she could try it her way and see if it works. If not, maybe she could try the mom's way. Either is fundamentally fine and she should do what works best for all involved. This way she won't frustrate the parent because she is hearing and really listening to the mother's advice, and she won't be frustrated herself because she is able to try it a different way if she prefers.

I don't really understand how that is offensive to anyone. I consider myself to be a non-confrontational person unless it is necessary. In this case, I don't think it's necessary to confront the parent nor do I think it is necessary to further frustrate the provider. I am simply offering a solution that should work for everyone. If it doesn't, then try someone else's suggestion. That is what these forums are for. If this is not what the forums are for, then I am misunderstanding something and am happy to keep my opinion to myself in the future. However, for what it's worth, I have never had a problem getting along with people (clients, parents, children, coworkers, patients, etc.) in my career(s) and I have been complimented regularly for my ability to work with virtually anyone.

Maybe I was misunderstanding the forum, and based on a few very critical remarks I've received in my short time here, I think that I might be. Perhaps I will continue to be a lurker and keep my measly suggestions to myself in the future. Again, sorry to offend. I assure you, it was not intentional.
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QualiTcare 08:10 PM 01-11-2011
every time i see carseat controversy, i always think about how my siblings and i rode in the bed of my dad's pick-up truck - and NOBODY cared! just sayin'
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Abigail 09:12 PM 01-11-2011
Originally Posted by Missani:
However, as far as know it all moms, that does get annoying. Is there any way you can do the old "smile and nod" approach and do it your way when she isn't there? I don't mean as far as safety, etc. is concerned but maybe remove the teething necklace/not wear the baby/use an occasional disposable if necessary/etc. I must admit, I've been guilty of this before. The one that especially gets me is the baby wearing. It is especially difficult if they hold or wear the baby all the time and co-sleep and never let the baby cry. It's not that I disagree with this type of parenting, it's just that the baby usually requires a lot of care/holding/physical contact in the daycare setting and it's just not very practical. They usually don't sleep well either because they are used to physically touching someone all of the time. It's nice and all, I just can't do that here, and I think it is just fine to encourage some independence from a baby here and there.

And it's true that not all moms like this are know-it-all and annoying. I've been a breastfeeding, organic food mom, too, and I consider myself quite normal.
Missani, welcome to the site. I enjoy reading everyone's point of view and opinions. I saw before someone bolded a section of this and questioned you and you posted backing yourself up. Not that this is a debate or anything, but I agree that if you (the provider) has policies in effect that are different than how the parents (new or not) practice at home, that once they sign a contract they're agreed to follow your policies while in daycare. If you cannot hold a baby all day, I wouldn't use the baby holding either. If you don't cloth diaper, then I would require them to bring in disposible diapers to use in daycare. I personally wouldn't switch from cloth to disposible in daycare without the parent's permission because they might have them in cloth for a specific reason. I'm not a mother yet, but I learn so much from this forum and enjoy hearing *most things....not slamming people's opinions and I try not to myself. If a thread is a "hot" one for arguing, I just never post in it. LOL.

I'm afraid to watch the carseat demo's because someone said they cried....I'm about to go to bed and don't want to have a nightmere, so I'll pass for tonight

I would always visit family/friends in the hospital when they have a baby and usually ask what they had to do....most hospitals I've visited in the last few years have videos that the new parent, or parent again, must watch and sign off on before being discharged. I've asked my sister many times (she's got 4 children) if I could watch them, but she said they're boring and didn't want to see it again, LOL, but I still want to see it. I guess I had to respect the new mom and just wait my turn! Unfortunately, I found that our local hospital ONLY has papers for you to read through with a hospital employee to verify you understand the basics....how sad, I want to watch videos so I sure hope they "upgrade" their requirements by the time my children come along! Sorry this post was soo long, I'm tired and tend to ramble on. Good night.
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Unregistered 05:37 AM 01-12-2011
Im the one who posted this to begin with. The little boy is 1 now and yes Mom is still a know it all LOL I either set her straight now a days or say nothing at all. I agreed to cloth diaper with her Son and honestly its no biggie its all in one cloth diapers I just change him like a regular diaper but put the diaper in a zip up bag. He is also rear facing for now I dont know if I will keep it up till he is 2 but I will try. She is a good daycare parent besides she knows it all but like I said I just try and let it roll off my back ot set her straight. She also turned out to not mind him eating non organic food so he eats what I cook the other think she brings is organic milk because I cant afford it.
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momma2girls 06:27 AM 01-12-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
every time i see carseat controversy, i always think about how my siblings and i rode in the bed of my dad's pick-up truck - and NOBODY cared! just sayin'
I remember growing up, and we went to Idaho on vac. which is probably 2-3 day trip for us. We had 5 siblings. My Mom and Dad had a car, and my little brother just fit in the back window. This is where he rode alot of it!! lol!!! Can you imagine? I can't even believe it! Ha!! THis was also 38-40 yrs. ago!! HA!!!
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laundrymom 06:41 AM 01-12-2011
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I remember growing up, and we went to Idaho on vac. which is probably 2-3 day trip for us. We had 5 siblings. My Mom and Dad had a car, and my little brother just fit in the back window. This is where he rode alot of it!! lol!!! Can you imagine? I can't even believe it! Ha!! THis was also 38-40 yrs. ago!! HA!!!
Back when cars were made of steel and had huge front and rear ends. In this society of compact hybrids even with the best safety belts and air bags, give me a 79 caprice anyday Lol
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Live and Learn 06:58 AM 01-12-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Im the one who posted this to begin with. The little boy is 1 now and yes Mom is still a know it all LOL I either set her straight now a days or say nothing at all. I agreed to cloth diaper with her Son and honestly its no biggie its all in one cloth diapers I just change him like a regular diaper but put the diaper in a zip up bag. He is also rear facing for now I dont know if I will keep it up till he is 2 but I will try. She is a good daycare parent besides she knows it all but like I said I just try and let it roll off my back ot set her straight. She also turned out to not mind him eating non organic food so he eats what I cook the other think she brings is organic milk because I cant afford it.
Funny how things work out sometimes.
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Blackcat31 07:05 AM 01-12-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
every time i see carseat controversy, i always think about how my siblings and i rode in the bed of my dad's pick-up truck - and NOBODY cared! just sayin'
Rode from MN to Wyoming in back of pick up with a topper with my two younger brothers (age 1 & 2 at the time, I was 4) Only remember having a blast on the big air mattress my parents put back there!! Waaay better than watching a Spongebob video while riding in a car!

Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I remember growing up, and we went to Idaho on vac. which is probably 2-3 day trip for us. We had 5 siblings. My Mom and Dad had a car, and my little brother just fit in the back window. This is where he rode alot of it!! lol!!! Can you imagine? I can't even believe it! Ha!! THis was also 38-40 yrs. ago!! HA!!!
I also had 5 siblings and we always rode in back window or snuggled up on the footwell with our pillows like a nest....so comfy!

Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Back when cars were made of steel and had huge front and rear ends. In this society of compact hybrids even with the best safety belts and air bags, give me a 79 caprice anyday Lol
Back when there were no cell phones to distract drivers....... I think we had a '79 Caprice! LOL!!
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SandeeAR 07:29 AM 01-12-2011
My folks built a platform with supports to the floor to make the back seat into a level bed for my brother and I to sit and nap on for long trips!

I also remember cliimbing in the back window to ride!

At 51, I was raised long before seat belting was enforced.

I also was thrown across the car head first in the front seat, at the age of 10. My head hit the steering column and I've had neck and back problems the rest of my life.

I'm VERY in favor of car seat!
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MMk9987 06:57 AM 01-28-2011
Well I know in the state of Florida you have to be rear facing till you are two years old and you have to be in a carseat til you are 10 years old and 80lbs. all i have to say is how do they expect a 2 year old to face backwards I mean their poor feet will be scrunched up. I am going to keep my son Backwards facing as long as I can. he is only 11 months old and weights 24lbs
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jen 07:28 AM 01-28-2011
Originally Posted by MMk9987:
Well I know in the state of Florida you have to be rear facing till you are two years old and you have to be in a carseat til you are 10 years old and 80lbs. all i have to say is how do they expect a 2 year old to face backwards I mean their poor feet will be scrunched up. I am going to keep my son Backwards facing as long as I can. he is only 11 months old and weights 24lbs
It is very easy to keep them rear facing...scoot up and watch a few of the videos listed.
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Danielle 07:42 AM 01-28-2011
Originally Posted by MMk9987:
Well I know in the state of Florida you have to be rear facing till you are two years old and you have to be in a carseat til you are 10 years old and 80lbs. all i have to say is how do they expect a 2 year old to face backwards I mean their poor feet will be scrunched up. I am going to keep my son Backwards facing as long as I can. he is only 11 months old and weights 24lbs
Those laws are awesome! They cross them, hang them over the side, prop them up...they find a comfortable way. Much better than a possible internal decapitation...

Here's a bunch of pictures of older kids rear facing. I'm sure my son will turn 4 before I turn him forward facing.
http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&b...&aqi=&aql=&oq=
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Symphony 08:03 AM 01-28-2011
Well, I guess I am a "know-it-all" mom too. I babywear, extended breastfeed, cloth diaper, teething necklaces, and all four (soon to be five) of my kids are in carseats. My five year old turned forward facing at 4, and he stills complains about how uncomfortable his legs are and that they always fall asleep. Scandinavian countries skip the booster stage all together. They rear face until 6 or 7 and have the lowest vehicle fatalities in the world.

To the OP I would say that just because a mother has different views than you doesn't make her arrogant. She probably has put hours of research into her parenting. It just amazes me sometimes how if someone has different beliefs in parenting, they obviously are first timers and have no clue. Well, I must be really dense to have not grown out of these behaviors five kids later!
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Jewels 08:25 AM 01-28-2011
I just turned my daughter forward facing, and shes almost 2......that is definatly not a know it all thing.....I hate the disrespect towards first time parents...........When I had my son in daycare, the provider once said to me "I know your a first time mom" and that started a bad relationship between us, keeping a child rear facing past 1 year of age does not matter to the child, they know no different. You might think the parent is a know it all first timer, and I bet they think your a know it all provider.....thinking to herself that her provider always treats her likes shes a stupid mother, and the provider thinks shes so much smarter.
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dEHmom 09:03 AM 01-28-2011
As a child, i don't think I was ever in a booster. My car seat as an infant would never have met safety standards today.
It really irritates me when people, especially a little bit of older generations (no disrespect it's just a point I'm making) like my mother, and grandmother, state "well when you were kids _______________" or "when we were kids we never had any of this__________________________".
Fact is people, there are reasons the standards and regulations of safety keep changing. They do research and figure out ways to make everyone safer. And when it comes to children, they can't protect themselves. That's why we are parents, to protect them and make sure they are safe.
It's not up for debate, if they say a child should be rear facing until a certain age/weight/height, THEN END OF STORY! They will make a carseat that is suitable so their legs won't be scrunched up. They will make it work. There's no reason to debate it, you might not like it, but suck it up, your child's life is at risk. Accidents are accidents because no one meant for them to happen! Better safe than sorry.
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Danielle 09:25 AM 01-28-2011
Originally Posted by Symphony:
Well, I guess I am a "know-it-all" mom too. I babywear, extended breastfeed, cloth diaper, teething necklaces, and all four (soon to be five) of my kids are in carseats. My five year old turned forward facing at 4, and he stills complains about how uncomfortable his legs are and that they always fall asleep. Scandinavian countries skip the booster stage all together. They rear face until 6 or 7 and have the lowest vehicle fatalities in the world.

To the OP I would say that just because a mother has different views than you doesn't make her arrogant. She probably has put hours of research into her parenting. It just amazes me sometimes how if someone has different beliefs in parenting, they obviously are first timers and have no clue. Well, I must be really dense to have not grown out of these behaviors five kids later!
Just got to say..I heart you!! You sound so much like me. I could have wrote that second sentence except it would be 2 (hopefully 3 soon) kids.
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Tags:bad parent, car safety, car seats, drooling, know it all
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