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momneedscoffee 06:32 PM 01-02-2016
Bad for doing daycare bc it takes time and attention away from your own kids? I do, even though the only reason I do this is so that I can bring in a little income while avoiding my own daycare costs and being there for my kids at the same time. I am taking a new baby Monday and am having hard time bc MY baby will no longer be the youngest. Is this totally irrational? 
Thriftylady 07:30 PM 01-02-2016
Originally Posted by momneedscoffee:
Bad for doing daycare bc it takes time and attention away from your own kids? I do, even though the only reason I do this is so that I can bring in a little income while avoiding my own daycare costs and being there for my kids at the same time. I am taking a new baby Monday and am having hard time bc MY baby will no longer be the youngest. Is this totally irrational?
Aww the classic mommy guilt! I understand what you are feeling, but have to ask this. Would you feel just as guilty dropping your kids off to someone every day? That was part of the reason I started doing daycare the first time when DD was 2. I HATED dropping the kids off to the other woman every day, even though I trusted her. I was jealous of her!Bad for doing daycare bc it takes time and attention away from your own kids? I do, even though the only reason I do this is so that I can bring in a little income while avoiding my own daycare costs and being there for my kids at the same time. I am taking a new baby Monday and am having hard time bc MY baby will no longer be the youngest. Is this totally irrational?
momneedscoffee 07:39 PM 01-02-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Aww the classic mommy guilt! I understand what you are feeling, but have to ask this. Would you feel just as guilty dropping your kids off to someone every day? That was part of the reason I started doing daycare the first time when DD was 2. I HATED dropping the kids off to the other woman every day, even though I trusted her. I was jealous of her!
Yes! My son started going to daycare when he was about 1, and went for about a year and a half until his sis was born! I didn't feel too guilty bc we started with only a few days a week and he was never full time, plus the interaction did him good! But now after spending every minute of the day with my 10 month old there is no way I could leave her!! Just the thought thay she may be MY last baby makes me wanna cry and soak up every drop of baby love! I hate mom guilt!!Aww the classic mommy guilt! I understand what you are feeling, but have to ask this. Would you feel just as guilty dropping your kids off to someone every day? That was part of the reason I started doing daycare the first time when DD was 2. I HATED dropping the kids off to the other woman every day, even though I trusted her. I was jealous of her!
Pepperth 05:12 AM 01-03-2016
I do feel guilt about that, but I keep trying to remind myself that we didn't have nearly as much time together before. Even though the oldest is in school now, it is awesome to be able to see him at 3:00 every day getting off the bus and then coming home to play with other kids. My youngest is no longer the youngest in my care and that was hard. Fortunately, my baby wasn't the type to be held much anyway. He'd rather be off trying to do whatever the older kids are doing. It has been amazing to watch his development as a direct result of being around 2 and 3 year olds all day.
momneedscoffee 07:45 AM 01-03-2016
Originally Posted by Pepperth:
I do feel guilt about that, but I keep trying to remind myself that we didn't have nearly as much time together before. Even though the oldest is in school now, it is awesome to be able to see him at 3:00 every day getting off the bus and then coming home to play with other kids. My youngest is no longer the youngest in my care and that was hard. Fortunately, my baby wasn't the type to be held much anyway. He'd rather be off trying to do whatever the older kids are doing. It has been amazing to watch his development as a direct result of being around 2 and 3 year olds all day.
Yep that is how my baby is too! She crawls aftee the bigger kids all day and only wants me when she is hungry or tired! Which I think is great since she really seems to enjoy herself!I do feel guilt about that, but I keep trying to remind myself that we didn't have nearly as much time together before. Even though the oldest is in school now, it is awesome to be able to see him at 3:00 every day getting off the bus and then coming home to play with other kids. My youngest is no longer the youngest in my care and that was hard. Fortunately, my baby wasn't the type to be held much anyway. He'd rather be off trying to do whatever the older kids are doing. It has been amazing to watch his development as a direct result of being around 2 and 3 year olds all day.
I know if I was working a 9-5 job again I would be regretting not being home wth my babies. And part time care is too hard to come by. I could stay home and not do the daycare but although my 2 kids keep me busy, I start to feel a lack of purpose (not saying anything bad about parents who do this, it's just how I feel personally!)
Ugh, the struggles of a mom
Josiegirl 12:56 PM 01-03-2016
My kids are all out on their own now but having done dc for 33 years 
they all grew up in it(my oldest was 15 months when I started). I had such guilty times that I begged my dh to let me quit; that we could find ways to cut back and make it work. He didn't agree. I'm glad I stuck it out because I found out it was filled with ups and downs, just like life. My kids went through times when they hated hated hated having kids in the house and having to share their mom. But they also made friends and had constant playmates.
Honestly, I didn't know what I was going to do when we had kids, until I first held my oldest. I knew right away I was staying home with them.
I doubt there is any way to escape mommy guilt. Once you give birth it sets in and never leaves. Just live with it.
they all grew up in it(my oldest was 15 months when I started). I had such guilty times that I begged my dh to let me quit; that we could find ways to cut back and make it work. He didn't agree. I'm glad I stuck it out because I found out it was filled with ups and downs, just like life. My kids went through times when they hated hated hated having kids in the house and having to share their mom. But they also made friends and had constant playmates.Honestly, I didn't know what I was going to do when we had kids, until I first held my oldest. I knew right away I was staying home with them.
I doubt there is any way to escape mommy guilt. Once you give birth it sets in and never leaves. Just live with it.
laundrymom 07:11 PM 01-03-2016
Originally Posted by momneedscoffee:
Bad for doing daycare bc it takes time and attention away from your own kids? I do, even though the only reason I do this is so that I can bring in a little income while avoiding my own daycare costs and being there for my kids at the same time. I am taking a new baby Monday and am having hard time bc MY baby will no longer be the youngest. Is this totally irrational?
No. Mine is the main income in our home. Always has been. It's my job. I'm lucky enough to bring in a fantastic income while being home with my own kids. I think if I had the mindset of it not being a serious job, I might feel differently but as it is, I ensure my kids have a home, vacations, clothes, extra money for music lessons, art experiences, and college. I feel the trade off is more than fair.Bad for doing daycare bc it takes time and attention away from your own kids? I do, even though the only reason I do this is so that I can bring in a little income while avoiding my own daycare costs and being there for my kids at the same time. I am taking a new baby Monday and am having hard time bc MY baby will no longer be the youngest. Is this totally irrational?
midaycare 07:47 PM 01-03-2016
I also don't have to work, but do. I felt guilty at first, but DS is in school (second grade now), and I opened 2 years ago.
I've worked out of the house full-time and part-time, been a stay at home mom, and now I work from home. This is the best of all worlds for me.
I don't feel guilty anymore. My money goes towards nice vacations, paying the house off early, and other things we wouldn't normally be able to do.
I can send my DS off to school, and I'm here when he gets home. He can relax and see me whenever he wants. Plus I let him earn $1 a day for helping me
He loves that!
I've worked out of the house full-time and part-time, been a stay at home mom, and now I work from home. This is the best of all worlds for me.
I don't feel guilty anymore. My money goes towards nice vacations, paying the house off early, and other things we wouldn't normally be able to do.
I can send my DS off to school, and I'm here when he gets home. He can relax and see me whenever he wants. Plus I let him earn $1 a day for helping me
He loves that!
Controlled Chaos 10:01 PM 01-03-2016
Nope. My income is important to my family. I get to spend more time with my children doing daycare than I would if I was still teaching outside the home. My children get to see their mom successfully running a business. My youngest is 2 and I watch two babies younger than her, she loves the babies. I don't see my 3 children feel jealous or competitive with the daycare kids. I am grateful to get to provide for my family and be there for my kiddos. 
Pepperth 03:59 AM 01-04-2016
Originally Posted by midaycare:
I also don't have to work, but do. I felt guilty at first, but DS is in school (second grade now), and I opened 2 years ago.
I've worked out of the house full-time and part-time, been a stay at home mom, and now I work from home. This is the best of all worlds for me.
I don't feel guilty anymore. My money goes towards nice vacations, paying the house off early, and other things we wouldn't normally be able to do.
I can send my DS off to school, and I'm here when he gets home. He can relax and see me whenever he wants. Plus I let him earn $1 a day for helping me He loves that!
I think I'm going to offer my ds $1 a day to help me. I love that idea. Do you have specific things he does? Or does he just do a general help? I think this may help my 6 year old a lot.I also don't have to work, but do. I felt guilty at first, but DS is in school (second grade now), and I opened 2 years ago.
I've worked out of the house full-time and part-time, been a stay at home mom, and now I work from home. This is the best of all worlds for me.
I don't feel guilty anymore. My money goes towards nice vacations, paying the house off early, and other things we wouldn't normally be able to do.
I can send my DS off to school, and I'm here when he gets home. He can relax and see me whenever he wants. Plus I let him earn $1 a day for helping me
He loves that!
Blackcat31 06:56 AM 01-04-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
No. Mine is the main income in our home. Always has been. It's my job. I'm lucky enough to bring in a fantastic income while being home with my own kids. I think if I had the mindset of it not being a serious job, I might feel differently but as it is, I ensure my kids have a home, vacations, clothes, extra money for music lessons, art experiences, and college. I feel the trade off is more than fair.
No. Mine is the main income in our home. Always has been. It's my job. I'm lucky enough to bring in a fantastic income while being home with my own kids. I think if I had the mindset of it not being a serious job, I might feel differently but as it is, I ensure my kids have a home, vacations, clothes, extra money for music lessons, art experiences, and college. I feel the trade off is more than fair.
Yep! What she said! ^^^^^
midaycare 08:32 AM 01-04-2016
Originally Posted by Pepperth:
I think I'm going to offer my ds $1 a day to help me. I love that idea. Do you have specific things he does? Or does he just do a general help? I think this may help my 6 year old a lot.
His job is to clean the floor if it needs it (by picking up toys), and put them in their proper place. I have a lot of "dumpers" so this helps a lot. Sometimes his job is to just play with the kids. I refer to him as my "helper", and it makes him feel special.I think I'm going to offer my ds $1 a day to help me. I love that idea. Do you have specific things he does? Or does he just do a general help? I think this may help my 6 year old a lot.
Ariana 09:53 AM 01-04-2016
Definitely feel this way! I don't have to work but I like having my own income and want to stay somewhat current in my field. I feel mostly bad about being stressed about other people's kids and being stressed about dealing with stupid parents etc. The stress tis job brings is my biggest guilt point. I also sometimes feel bad because I feel chained to the house. I am doing this part time so I get out a bit but not as much as I would like.
On the plus side I am a business owner and I get to stay home with my kids. There is no way you can make a perfect life for your kids so I am doing the best I can right now and that is good enough!
On the plus side I am a business owner and I get to stay home with my kids. There is no way you can make a perfect life for your kids so I am doing the best I can right now and that is good enough!
Play Care 10:08 AM 01-04-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
No. Mine is the main income in our home. Always has been. It's my job. I'm lucky enough to bring in a fantastic income while being home with my own kids. I think if I had the mindset of it not being a serious job, I might feel differently but as it is, I ensure my kids have a home, vacations, clothes, extra money for music lessons, art experiences, and college. I feel the trade off is more than fair.
While not the main breadwinner, I am fortunate to make a good salary and I DO need to work. If I wasn't working here, I'd be working outside the home and my kids would have to go to after school care and summer care (DH is a teacher but teaches summer school) I wouldn't even get to see them. No. Mine is the main income in our home. Always has been. It's my job. I'm lucky enough to bring in a fantastic income while being home with my own kids. I think if I had the mindset of it not being a serious job, I might feel differently but as it is, I ensure my kids have a home, vacations, clothes, extra money for music lessons, art experiences, and college. I feel the trade off is more than fair.
It was hard when they were younger and here full time but I truly wished I embraced the craziness and stressed less, instead of wishing for things to be different. Because all the sudden I have a 9 & 10 year old.
The nice thing about this being your business is that you can make changes if things aren't meshing. Maybe interview to replace some bad eggs, or down size, or change your space around, etc. Unlike a lot of other jobs where you're kind of stuck, you do have some power here.
Annalee 10:15 AM 01-04-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
While not the main breadwinner, I am fortunate to make a good salary and I DO need to work. If I wasn't working here, I'd be working outside the home and my kids would have to go to after school care and summer care (DH is a teacher but teaches summer school) I wouldn't even get to see them.
It was hard when they were younger and here full time but I truly wished I embraced the craziness and stressed less, instead of wishing for things to be different. Because all the sudden I have a 9 & 10 year old.
The nice thing about this being your business is that you can make changes if things aren't meshing. Maybe interview to replace some bad eggs, or down size, or change your space around, etc. Unlike a lot of other jobs where you're kind of stuck, you do have some power here.
While not the main breadwinner, I am fortunate to make a good salary and I DO need to work. If I wasn't working here, I'd be working outside the home and my kids would have to go to after school care and summer care (DH is a teacher but teaches summer school) I wouldn't even get to see them.
It was hard when they were younger and here full time but I truly wished I embraced the craziness and stressed less, instead of wishing for things to be different. Because all the sudden I have a 9 & 10 year old.
The nice thing about this being your business is that you can make changes if things aren't meshing. Maybe interview to replace some bad eggs, or down size, or change your space around, etc. Unlike a lot of other jobs where you're kind of stuck, you do have some power here.
I can relate to this statement! My sons are 12 and 14. I was better with daycare and the second one but wish I had been better with my first child.