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  #1  
Old 12-12-2012, 03:20 PM
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Default How to Approach.............

Some of you may recall me talking about a DCK that does not talk at all while here. Someone on here suggested that it could be SM, selected Mutism, an anxiety disorder.

Well I have spent many hours researching it and I really feel in my heart of hearts that this is what could be wrong with DCK.

I really so badly want to talk to the DCM about it, but don't know how. It is getting worse, not better.

DCK wets pants, won't tell me when someone hurt him, cries all of the time when kids take toys or needs something because he won't use words. DCK will sit at the table forever and never ask for anything. One time I forgot to give DCK a fork and said please eat your food. One of the other kids says DCK does not have a fork. The kid was sitting there for almost 20 min and never said a word.

I feel horrible and really want to help, but am worried that I may upset DCM. DCM is so laid back and easy going, but whenever I have tried to bring it up in the past she just says, aaaahhh DCK is just like his dad, DCK will grow out of it......

How can I approach this without upsetting anyone??
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:20 PM
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I have been through so many should I/ shouldn't I , talk about delays/disorders, and I think I have some tips that may help. I am by no means perfect at it, but I have learned a little of what works and what doesn't.

I would start with a print off from a reputable source (AAP is a good one) with all of the symptoms. I would tell mom, you just wanted to give her a little information to look over, and digest. Tell her you have noticed that her child seems to fit a lot of criteria (maybe specifically list some), and that you are concerned (STRESS YOUR CONERN - and that your are coming from a place of wanting to help the child). Then let her read and digest the information over night, and tell her you would like to talk more about it tomorrow, once she has looked over the material.

The next day, I would stand firm by the criteria that you think the child fits (parents will often want to make excuses or exceptions), and hopefully you all will come to a consensus that the child needs an evaluation.
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blandino View Post
I have been through so many should I/ shouldn't I , talk about delays/disorders, and I think I have some tips that may help. I am by no means perfect at it, but I have learned a little of what works and what doesn't.

I would start with a print off from a reputable source (AAP is a good one) with all of the symptoms. I would tell mom, you just wanted to give her a little information to look over, and digest. Tell her you have noticed that her child seems to fit a lot of criteria (maybe specifically list some), and that you are concerned (STRESS YOUR CONERN - and that your are coming from a place of wanting to help the child). Then let her read and digest the information over night, and tell her you would like to talk more about it tomorrow, once she has looked over the material.

The next day, I would stand firm by the criteria that you think the child fits (parents will often want to make excuses or exceptions), and hopefully you all will come to a consensus that the child needs an evaluation.
thanks so much for responding to me..... I wish i would have read your response sooner. DCK was picked up a little earlier.

I did talk to mom about it and she is just soo dang sweet. I told her that I was not trying to diagnose DCK but that I was very concerned. I then told her that I talked to my professor about it as well as did some research about it too. I told her that I am seeing DCK regress and that I just really want to make sure we can get him the right help he needs before he gets to school. He seems to be having a great time here, he smiles, plays, laughs and has a really good time, just won't talk to anyone.

she said ok and I told her that I would forward her any information I had. I hope that it goes well. I really love this child and family.
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:42 PM
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Here's a couple of things for YOU to read and and compare against the DCB. Print them out according to the child's age and go down the list marking it with yeses or nos. Make notes in the margins of things that you have seen that jump out at you etc. Then take a look at your notes.

Does your DCK not do a lot of what's on the developmental milestones? Not all kids develop at the same pace and might fall behind in some areas but that doesn't mean that there's a delay, if however you notice that the child doesn't do a lot of what's on the list then I'd show any articles of what you have already found and give DCM these and copies of the assessment that you did which includes your own notes.

Remember though, all you can do is recommend that she take him to the Dr but she might not and that's her decision and you'll have to resect that.

I'm not sure how old your DCK is....

Developmental Milestones-University of Michigan

Call your pediatrician if your child: 0-36 months
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:58 PM
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im pretty sure that this is a disorder, not a delay....
But thanks so much for sharing this with me, I will keep it for future use.....
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Old 12-12-2012, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
Some of you may recall me talking about a DCK that does not talk at all while here. Someone on here suggested that it could be SM, selected Mutism, an anxiety disorder.

Well I have spent many hours researching it and I really feel in my heart of hearts that this is what could be wrong with DCK.

I really so badly want to talk to the DCM about it, but don't know how. It is getting worse, not better.

DCK wets pants, won't tell me when someone hurt him, cries all of the time when kids take toys or needs something because he won't use words. DCK will sit at the table forever and never ask for anything. One time I forgot to give DCK a fork and said please eat your food. One of the other kids says DCK does not have a fork. The kid was sitting there for almost 20 min and never said a word.

I feel horrible and really want to help, but am worried that I may upset DCM. DCM is so laid back and easy going, but whenever I have tried to bring it up in the past she just says, aaaahhh DCK is just like his dad, DCK will grow out of it......

How can I approach this without upsetting anyone??
Wow! He does not speak at all while in your care? Is mom aware of the extent of the silence? If it were my kid I would appreciate being made aware of any and all issues regarding my child's development. I would maybe type a letter with specific examples & with the name of the disorder you possibly think dcb fits. I would suggest that mom take him to see a professional to find out if there is a specific reason for this. Any way you look at it, that is not normal behavior for a child. Does he talk to the other kids while playing?
At least mine talks a little bit. This must be very hard & frustrating to deal with. Keep us posted.
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Old 12-13-2012, 06:46 AM
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I bet you this mom is not going to do anything. I have a mom like this who is in the health field to boot. Finally the kid went to school and they started hammering them, and now he's getting help, but it took 6 years to get him help. I really think that she didn't want to be bothered with it.

can someone come in and assess him. I wish we had this here. I wish we could call people to come to our house and assess some of the kids, it would make my life easier. I hate when they use "just like blah blah" because thats just a cop out and how does she know, she just knows what she's been told. But I would be worried because now he's wetting himself.

really stupid question, but can he hear.
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Old 12-13-2012, 07:25 AM
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I had a little girl in my care a year or so that was just like this and she was diagnosed with mitochondrial disease. We thought maybe she was Autistic but after tons of tests they said it was mitochondrial disease. Once diagnosed she went to therapy weekly and now even attends regular elementary. She still doesn't talk much but other then that she's pretty much a normal kid!
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Old 12-13-2012, 04:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrymom View Post
I bet you this mom is not going to do anything. I have a mom like this who is in the health field to boot. Finally the kid went to school and they started hammering them, and now he's getting help, but it took 6 years to get him help. I really think that she didn't want to be bothered with it.

can someone come in and assess him. I wish we had this here. I wish we could call people to come to our house and assess some of the kids, it would make my life easier. I hate when they use "just like blah blah" because thats just a cop out and how does she know, she just knows what she's been told. But I would be worried because now he's wetting himself.

really stupid question, but can he hear.
I wish there was someone to do this. I am taking a class in the spring that will teach me how to use out educational system here to get stuff like this done. But right now I just can't seem to find the right people to talk to, to get any kind of help with children that are struggling.
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  #10  
Old 12-13-2012, 05:03 PM
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Have you seen this little story.
http://health.yahoo.net/experts/dayi...ches-kids-talk
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