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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Think I Was Rude To DCM - Convince Me I Wasn't
crazydaycarelady 04:56 PM 02-28-2014
Longtime dcfamily - dcm started working from home recently an has been consistently getting here right at closing or after. Today was a snow day but I still had all of my kids, most got picked up early. Long week, hubby got called out to work and is dealing with an avalanche. I just wanted to be off and watch the news to see about the avalanche.
Here comes dcm at 5:35 (she got stuck in the snow at home she says, which could have been predicted since it's a SNOW DAY.) She starts walking up the drive with her older child in tow. Why? It's already after closing. I met her at the door, handed her dcbaby and told her he was crabby and I was trying to watch the news, good-bye.
My son says I was kinda rude.
Here comes dcm at 5:35 (she got stuck in the snow at home she says, which could have been predicted since it's a SNOW DAY.) She starts walking up the drive with her older child in tow. Why? It's already after closing. I met her at the door, handed her dcbaby and told her he was crabby and I was trying to watch the news, good-bye.
My son says I was kinda rude.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:00 PM 02-28-2014
Maybe, but it was after hours and is the end of the week. Sorry, but we can't be perfect like rah-rah cheerleaders all of the time when parents are LATE. 
crazydaycarelady 05:06 PM 02-28-2014
See, I am feeling better already! It was the 3rd time this week this dcm has kept me past 5:30.
daycare 05:08 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
See, I am feeling better already! It was the 3rd time this week this dcm has kept me past 5:30.
have you mentioned to her that she has been late?See, I am feeling better already! It was the 3rd time this week this dcm has kept me past 5:30.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:09 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
See, I am feeling better already! It was the 3rd time this week this dcm has kept me past 5:30.
What's the penalty for that? $1/minute?See, I am feeling better already! It was the 3rd time this week this dcm has kept me past 5:30.
daycare 05:14 PM 02-28-2014
I have found that when we dont talk to them about it, that it gets built up and then POW we burst...
If it were me I probably send an email saying
Hi Sue,
I want to apologize to you if our conversation this evening came across as being rude. I have meaning to talk to you about the last few days of late pickups and was caught off guard due to the fact that my husband is dealing with a serious avalanche at work right now and your lateness kept me from being able to check on my family.
Per our policies, there is a late fee of $1.00 per min for each min that you pick up late. I will waive the late fees this time, however, I will implement all late fees after today. If you need a change in schedule, please feel free to talk with me.
dcp
If it were me I probably send an email saying
Hi Sue,
I want to apologize to you if our conversation this evening came across as being rude. I have meaning to talk to you about the last few days of late pickups and was caught off guard due to the fact that my husband is dealing with a serious avalanche at work right now and your lateness kept me from being able to check on my family.
Per our policies, there is a late fee of $1.00 per min for each min that you pick up late. I will waive the late fees this time, however, I will implement all late fees after today. If you need a change in schedule, please feel free to talk with me.
dcp
crazydaycarelady 05:28 PM 02-28-2014
I haven't charged them anything yet. They are a longtime family and have been relatively problem free. This issue is new and started with dcms new job working from home. She did apologize earlier in the week for being late.
kitykids3 05:37 PM 02-28-2014
She's coming from home and is late? I'd be talking to her because it looks like she's going to start assuming it's ok, esp if it's a new and frequent issue. Address it and then start charging if it keeps up. Otherwise I see many late days in the future for you.
TwinKristi 08:09 PM 02-28-2014
Yeah you gotta say something. I like daycare's letter! Don't charge for this week but explain you will starting Monday. Then do it and say you would be more than happy if she came on time and you never were paid a single late fee. But if she's going to be late she needs to pay!
KidGrind 08:17 PM 02-28-2014
You were blunt. If you had thrown the diaper bag at her that would’ve been rude.
I’ve started doing a monthly newsletter. I mention late pick-ups. Since the mention of late pick-ups, the DCPs have been coming around the bend as if Michael Myers is on their tails.
All I do is laugh. I shut my door at 5:00 PM with a Kool-Aid smile.
I’ve started doing a monthly newsletter. I mention late pick-ups. Since the mention of late pick-ups, the DCPs have been coming around the bend as if Michael Myers is on their tails.
All I do is laugh. I shut my door at 5:00 PM with a Kool-Aid smile.
e.j. 11:47 AM 03-01-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
She did apologize earlier in the week for being late.
...but was late again anyway? So she really wasn't all that sorry or she would have made sure it didn't happen again. I agree with Daycare and would send a follow-up text or email message stating that late fees will apply starting Monday - or enjoy your weekend and speak to her directly on Monday about the issue.She did apologize earlier in the week for being late.
Heidi 01:08 PM 03-01-2014
When she apologized, did you slip and say "oh, don't worry about it" or something like that? We are always so nice....until we're not. 
I would email or call her and just clarify as the PP said.
...Sorry if I was rude, I was worried about DH, and the late thing is getting excessive, especially on a Friday. You adore her child, and you've always enjoyed working with her, but now you have to scold her or charge her a late fee. You don't want to do that, so can she please make sure to get here by 5:30? Thanks so much...
I would email or call her and just clarify as the PP said.
...Sorry if I was rude, I was worried about DH, and the late thing is getting excessive, especially on a Friday. You adore her child, and you've always enjoyed working with her, but now you have to scold her or charge her a late fee. You don't want to do that, so can she please make sure to get here by 5:30? Thanks so much...
Play Care 11:34 AM 03-02-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I haven't charged them anything yet. They are a longtime family and have been relatively problem free. This issue is new and started with dcms new job working from home. She did apologize earlier in the week for being late.
I missed this earlier but wanted to chime in as I am going through something similar. You need to say something NOW, as the longer it goes on, the more difficult it will be. I haven't charged them anything yet. They are a longtime family and have been relatively problem free. This issue is new and started with dcms new job working from home. She did apologize earlier in the week for being late.
And really, so what she apologized, especially if she's still coming late? When I have my dck's say they are sorry I also make them show ammeneds. Words are not enough, you need action here also.
Cradle2crayons 11:40 AM 03-02-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
You were blunt. If you had thrown the diaper bag at her that would’ve been rude.
I’ve started doing a monthly newsletter. I mention late pick-ups. Since the mention of late pick-ups, the DCPs have been coming around the bend as if Michael Myers is on their tails.
All I do is laugh. I shut my door at 5:00 PM with a Kool-Aid smile.
You were blunt. If you had thrown the diaper bag at her that would’ve been rude.
I’ve started doing a monthly newsletter. I mention late pick-ups. Since the mention of late pick-ups, the DCPs have been coming around the bend as if Michael Myers is on their tails.
All I do is laugh. I shut my door at 5:00 PM with a Kool-Aid smile.
love the Kool aid smile 
actually I have one of the pitchers... I use it for tea or lemonaid
Unregistered 12:54 PM 03-02-2014
You said she had to walk over with older child, so that may have taken a little more time than she intended. Since things were so close, why do you need to fuss over a few mins here and there. Just change her pick up time and make it earlier. You chose to have your o w n business, these are the things that happen to a business owner. Go work for some pre school and you can get home on time without missing anything . And yes, even if you had a retail or food service business, people linger. You can't close your doors always at 6 or whenever on the dot.
Blackcat31 01:50 PM 03-02-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
You said she had to walk over with older child, so that may have taken a little more time than she intended. Since things were so close, why do you need to fuss over a few mins here and there.
Because those few minutes belong to the provider. Those few minutes were NOT part of what the mother is paying for and being late is completely disrespectful.You said she had to walk over with older child, so that may have taken a little more time than she intended. Since things were so close, why do you need to fuss over a few mins here and there.
Plus if the mom had to walk with the older child, SHE should have made the adjustment and left earlier if having someone else with slowed her down.
Just because the provider is in her own home does NOT make HER time for HER family AFTER hours any less valuable than the daycare moms and the provider doesn't always have to be the one to "adapt" and "let it slide" when it has to do with the actions of OTHER people.
If more people stopped making excuses for these parents and stopped letting it go, maybe more parents would be respectful to their providers and stop being late.
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Just change her pick up time and make it earlier. You chose to have your o w n business, these are the things that happen to a business owner. Go work for some pre school and you can get home on time without missing anything . And yes, even if you had a retail or food service business, people linger. You can't close your doors always at 6 or whenever on the dot.
You are right, the provider DOES own her own business and she does get to set the rules and her rules say she closes at a specific time. That means AT that time, not a few minutes later. Just change her pick up time and make it earlier. You chose to have your o w n business, these are the things that happen to a business owner. Go work for some pre school and you can get home on time without missing anything . And yes, even if you had a retail or food service business, people linger. You can't close your doors always at 6 or whenever on the dot.
People DO linger but if other business allow that...good for them but this provider doesn't have to just because some people are rude enough to not be considerate of others and their time.
I CAN and DO close my doors on the dot. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
crazydaycarelady 12:07 PM 03-03-2014
She didn't walk to my house from her house. She walked down my driveway from her car, and considering she was already late I questioned why she took the older (6yo) child out and brought her to the door too.
I would like to see you work a 10 hour day with NO break and see how you feel after the same customer is late 3 times in one week.
I would like to see you work a 10 hour day with NO break and see how you feel after the same customer is late 3 times in one week.
lovemykidstoo 12:14 PM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
She didn't walk to my house from her house. She walked down my driveway from her car, and considering she was already late I questioned why she took the older (6yo) child out and brought her to the door too.
I would like to see you work a 10 hour day with NO break and see how you feel after the same customer is late 3 times in one week.
Unregistered = troll trouble maker hahaShe didn't walk to my house from her house. She walked down my driveway from her car, and considering she was already late I questioned why she took the older (6yo) child out and brought her to the door too.
I would like to see you work a 10 hour day with NO break and see how you feel after the same customer is late 3 times in one week.
Did you see her today? How'd it go?
Crazy8 12:18 PM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
When she apologized, did you slip and say "oh, don't worry about it" or something like that? We are always so nice....until we're not.
I would email or call her and just clarify as the PP said.
...Sorry if I was rude, I was worried about DH, and the late thing is getting excessive, especially on a Friday. You adore her child, and you've always enjoyed working with her, but now you have to scold her or charge her a late fee. You don't want to do that, so can she please make sure to get here by 5:30? Thanks so much...
I tend to be too nice in person with the "oh, don't worry about it" but then steam about it later. You need to be honest and while you may want to apologize for being a little short with her at the door you need to address the late issue now before it becomes a bigger issue. When she apologized, did you slip and say "oh, don't worry about it" or something like that? We are always so nice....until we're not.
I would email or call her and just clarify as the PP said.
...Sorry if I was rude, I was worried about DH, and the late thing is getting excessive, especially on a Friday. You adore her child, and you've always enjoyed working with her, but now you have to scold her or charge her a late fee. You don't want to do that, so can she please make sure to get here by 5:30? Thanks so much...
And I understand what you are saying about her bringing the other child in with her and that speaks volumes about how she sees being late. If she had any regard for it she would have just run in and grabbed dck while the other child waited in the car in your driveway.
crazydaycarelady 01:07 PM 03-03-2014
All was well today. Sometimes I think I stress out about something and the dcparents probably don't even give it a second thought.
As for safety and leaving the older child I the car - I am very rural. There is NO ONE around, and she could see the car the whole time.
As for safety and leaving the older child I the car - I am very rural. There is NO ONE around, and she could see the car the whole time.
Play Care 01:34 PM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
All was well today. Sometimes I think I stress out about something and the dcparents probably don't even give it a second thought.
All was well today. Sometimes I think I stress out about something and the dcparents probably don't even give it a second thought.
I totally agree - this is something I have been working on - not letting things keep me up or weigh on my mind, because it's usually abundantly clear that *I'm* the only one who suffers for it!
